Lighthouse
by mm-chan
Summary: Uzumaki Naruto, that annoyingly exuberant new guy, is everyone's favorite employee but Mr. Sabaku is certainly not a member of his fan club. However, after the prodigious newcomer happens to mention he has no home, solitude-loving Mr. Sabaku finds himself offering him a place for the night. Naruto x Gaara. Some Kankuro x Naruto. Mentioned Sakura x Kankuro. AU. Yaoi. Homelessness.
1. And That Was How I Met Mr Uzumaki

**Lighthouse**

 **Disclaimer:** _I don't own 'Naruto' and I make no money from these writings._

 **Summary:** _Uzumaki Naruto, that annoyingly exuberant new guy, is everyone's favorite employee but Mr. Sabaku is certainly not a member of his fan club. However, after the prodigious newcomer happens to mention he has no home, solitude-loving Mr. Sabaku finds himself offering him a place for the night._

 **A/N:** _Inspired by the phenomenon where working adults cannot afford a home in a big city, leading them to not only homelessness but to many other dangers, too. Although you might now think otherwise, I don't intend to make this a sad/depressing story at all, but one with more positive feelings._

 _This is Naruto (seme) x Gaara (uke) with some Kankuro x Naruto (and with very slight Sakura x Kankuro) in there, too. I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

 **Chapter 1: And That Was How I Met Mr. Uzumaki**

That blond new guy was _everyone's_ favorite.

And by everyone he meant each and every one of his colleagues, starting from the shy yet devoted interns and going all the way up to the indifferent rows of management on top. Everyone who Naruto Uzumaki had been rubbing shoulder with in this relatively small office of theirs always remembered to praise how polite and easy-going the young man was.

How long had he been working here again? Maybe two weeks, or three if his memory served him right.

He was blond, did he already mention that? Not that it really mattered, though. It was just a thing he had noticed in passing.

"You're often the last to leave, Mr. Sabaku."

Gaara lifted up his gaze from the papers scattered all over his desk and placed his pencil on a penholder. The blond was there, smiling at him with suspicious ease. That expression suited him, he had to admit. Gaara glanced around the office, trying to see if a mop of hair would peek from any nearby cubicle.

No such luck. It seemed it was just the two of them now.

"Why would it concern you, Mr. Uzumaki, if I work longer hours than the others?"

He was not a people person. And even though he couldn't really find it in him to dislike the blond, he wasn't going to join his fan club, either.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude or anything. I just wanted to say I've noticed your diligence and I respect your work ethic. I wish I could someday be as dedicated to something as you are to your work."

There was that goddamned politeness again. It seemed to work on everyone around, Gaara had noticed, and grudgingly he admitted it didn't feel too bad to be on the receiving end of his graceful manners. Even some of the most reserved and uptight employees around here had somewhat lost their sourness after spending three minutes in Uzumaki's sunlight. Not that it was any of his business, though, but even some of the ladies seemed to have a tad lighter step whenever they had been chatting with the prodigious newcomer.

The beams that shone from Naruto Uzumaki seemed to penetrate everyone and everything, and to Gaara it had been shocking to notice how easily the earlier stiff atmosphere in the office had turned into much more amicable.

The blond was not irresponsible for that. And now their brand new prodigy was standing next to his cubicle like a lighthouse, directing his luminous searchlight on him.

"You don't need to flatter me," Gaara replied to the praise he had received from the blond.

"I would never dare to flatter you. I was merely pointing out a fact."

That guy was good at what he was doing, and it was perhaps a bit annoying to notice how comfortable those words felt. But that was something he'd rather take to the grave with him than admit aloud.

Gaara organized the papers into neat piles and turned off his computer. He swayed his bag over his shoulder and made his way towards the exit. When he neared Uzumaki, the blond stepped aside with a polite smile, granting him a wider lane as he strode past him.

The blond caught him up easily. "I'm going to the train station."

 _Great._

That was where he was heading, too. But pretending to be going someplace else at this hour of the night didn't sound inviting even for someone as introverted as him. Left with no other option, he grudgingly accepted the fact that the prodigious blond was now keeping him company.

On the train, they sat across each other. Not many other passengers were there at this time of the day, and it was just another reason why Gaara preferred working late.

"When is your stop coming?" Gaara asked, hoping it would be way earlier than his own.

"Well, the thing is, I haven't decided yet," Uzumaki told and leaned back on his seat like it was actually a comfortable thing to sit on.

"Aren't you going home, then?" Gaara wondered aloud.

Uzumaki smiled at him warmly, like he had no care in the world. "I don't have a home."

" _What?_ "

That could simply not be true.

"But you have a place somewhere, don't you?" Gaara asked and couldn't help but feel a little bit curious.

Now the blond's smile was losing its luminosity. His white teeth vanished eventually altogether from view as his grin melted into serious line.

"No, I don't. But I'm looking for an apartment of my own, even though no inexpensive ones have been available yet."

"But how can you not have a home? Don't tell me you're living on the street or something," Gaara wondered again, and leaned closer to the blond opposite of him as his curiosity kept on growing.

Someone so successful and tidy could possibly not be without a decent place to stay in. What he had been told all his life, homeless people looked nothing like Naruto Uzumaki. The blond had a job and was liked by everyone. Surely there was some misunderstanding on his part here.

"Don't worry about it," Uzumaki said and there was that blinding smile again. He could not be serious.

"It's starting to snow," Gaara noticed as the darkening landscape scurrying by the windows was slowly vanishing behind a grey blur of sleet.

"Hmm. Yeah, it's that time of the year," Naruto Uzumaki replied casually. "I just hope we get snow on Christmas. I got to say, the holidays are nothing if the ground isn't white."

Gaara stared at the blond in horror. How could that man without a roof above his head wish for something like that? Was this a joke? Was Naruto Uzumaki joking?

"So you don't have a place for tonight?" Gaara asked monotonously.

"Nope. But I'll come up with something." And there was that freaking calmness again he couldn't understand.

"You can stay at my place," Gaara said quietly, and as the train rattled on the rails just then, he was sure the noise had swallowed his words.

But when he slowly lifted up his gaze on the man sitting across him, he was surprised to see the shock on Uzumaki's face.

"N-No, I possibly can't," the blond stuttered suddenly. "It's way too kind of you, and I really can't accept such hospitality."

"Uzumaki," he said, meaning to calm down the nervous ramble.

"I mean, I'm thankful you thought of me but I don't want to burden you. And I didn't open up about this because I was looking forward to something like that. It's just… You seem like an honest guy and I thought that maybe if I'm honest, too, I'd earn your acceptance," the blond told.

"My acceptance?" Gaara frowned in confusion.

"You know, the way you give your best at work gives me an image you demand a lot from yourself and from others, too. You don't waste your time in gossips or pointless chitchats, but concentrate on getting your job well done. I look up to you, and in these weeks I've worked there I've decided that it's a path I want to take, too," the blond said and his earlier calmness had turned into shy nervousness.

Maybe there was a chance this guy was not bullshitting him but actually speaking from his heart? Gaara stared at the blond with a hard look, one that Uzumaki didn't dodge but returned with wavering bravery.

"Come to my place," Gaara said like it was already decided.

"It would be too much trouble for you," the blond told him.

"Nonsense. We can go to work together in the morning, so it shouldn't interfere with your schedules too much," Gaara replied calmly.

After train ride they walked towards Gaara's apartment in silence. He couldn't help but notice how Uzumaki kept on glancing around, as if memorizing his surroundings, but whenever he noticed Gaara staring, his fidgety expression turned into luminous smile.

Finally at home, Gaara let his new co-worker into his humble apartment.

"You can sleep in the bed," he said.

His one-night guest glanced around the tiny apartment which consisted of a spacious hallway, a separate kitchen and a bathroom, and one larger room that serviced all other purposes of daily life. Gaara liked to keep the décor as minimalistic as possible, so the main room had only one queen-sized bed in the corner and a TV on the other. A coffee table was placed in the center with neat piles of books on top.

Uzumaki's gaze lingered around the tiny quarters before returning to him. "Are you going to sleep in the bed, too?"

Gaara was a little surprised by the question but then again, his co-worker couldn't have a clue about his preferred sleeping place. He didn't let his surprise show in any way, instead he only studied the submissive way Uzumaki's shoulders had slumped.

"I sleep in the closet," Gaara informed.

The blond noticed the closed door not too far away from the bed. Straightening up his posture, he dropped his bag next to the bed and no doubt tried to make himself comfortable in the scarcely decorated place.

* * *

Naruto watched as Mr. Sabaku cut apple into eight even slices. The preciseness he followed at work seemed to be present in everything else he did, too.

A cup of green tea and a small bowl of apple slices were put in front of him.

"Eat," Mr. Sabaku said and sat down at the kitchen table, too.

There was something unnerving in his gaze. It had been there from the very beginning. No matter how calm Mr. Sabaku's jade eyes looked like, it felt like something was stirring just below the surface.

Back in his childhood summers, Naruto and his friends spent uncountable days swimming and fishing and catching butterflies in glass jars, soaking in never-ending sunlight as if they were batteries in need of recharging.

That one peaceful lake was their favorite place to go out camping. "Pike Lake" as the elders called it and―as they would later find out―the name was there for a good reason, too. In the bed of reeds, heavy jackfish kept awaiting for unsuspecting animals or sweaty set of human toes to appear within their near reach. Before the prey would even notice, a wide open mouth full of sharp little teeth was already swimming their way from their blind spot.

Naruto shivered at the long-forgotten memory.

The way Mr. Sabaku watched him without blinking was unusual and Naruto wasn't quite sure what to think of it. When the man sipped his tea and averted his attention, Naruto noticed he was the only one having food.

"Mr. Sabaku, would you like some apple?"

"No," the redhead only said.

Naruto curled his toes under the table, as if some unseen beast would snap them away the moment he let his guard down.

The sound of fruits crunching between Naruto's blunt teeth filled up the quietness of the room. A while ago he had observed where Mr. Sabaku kept his tea and seen a glance at what lay behind those closed cupboard doors. Instead of finding stashes of oatmeal or spices or common things like that, the shelves had screamed emptiness. A half-full packet of coffee had caught his attention next to a can of what could be meatballs in sauce.

"Aren't you hungry?"

"No," Mr. Sabaku replied and for some reason, Naruto didn't doubt it at all.

He was thankful of this unexpected opportunity to spend the night in here even though he reminded himself to not rush his judgment. This was better than a bench in a park, and that one public sauna he preferred was off-limits for tonight. Given how there was only a handful of passengers on trains at night, sleeping in there was sometimes an option. For the past five nights he had been couch surfing in some of his friends' places but given how so many of them were already married with kids, he never dared to expand his visits for longer than one short night.

Sometimes he helped them by looking after their children or walking the dog. If it was weekend, he offered to wash their car or cut the lawn. In winter, it was always fun to build snowmen with kids. And he could never grow bored of the incontinent joy the youngest of them showed whenever they stuck the carrot nose and coal eyes in place and the frosty masterpiece was finished. The parents were thankful, for in the meanwhile they could have a moment just for themselves.

But then there were other kind of friends who had quite different needs when it came to payback.

Warily, Naruto followed Mr. Sabaku with his gaze as the man stood up smoothly and swam behind his back like a silent jackfish. He turned his head just enough to see, but not too much to reveal his uncertainty. But it seemed he was only leaving the room. After some hesitation, Naruto stood up too and followed him.

Mr. Sabaku was sitting on the floor next to the coffee table, reading a thick book. The way he licked his thumb before turning a page happened to catch Naruto's attention. Given how short the frequency between those tiny licks of his finger was, he had to be quick reader.

Naruto studied the sight for a moment before sitting down on the bed. It looked like the man didn't give any regard to his presence. As Naruto leaned more heavily on the bed, the springs squeaked and revealed his movement. Just to ease out the tenseness in the room, _the tenseness in him_ , he wondered if he should open a conversation. But Mr. Sabaku seemed so deeply concentrated in his reading.

Not daring to interrupt, Naruto pulled his legs closer to his body and waited for what would happen next.

* * *

After a comfortable hour of silence, Gaara yawned and closed his book.

A glance at Uzumaki's direction told him the blond had lain down on the bed. Given how stiff he looked, he was hardly relaxed. As soon as the blond realized his lingering attention, his blue eyes sharpened and an unsure smile came to grace his features.

Uzumaki was strange, there was no question about it. With another quiet yawn, Gaara locked himself in the bathroom to change on his pajamas. Even though they were both men, he didn't deem it appropriate to change in front of his colleague.

What he had found uncharacteristic throughout the whole evening was Uzumaki's silence.

Given how talkative the blond was at work, he had expected him to have talked off his ear by now.

Then again, it was completely possible the blond had detected his preference for quietness and solitude and acted accordingly. If that was the case, Gaara was thankful. Letting someone close to a stranger bunk in his bed was uncharacteristic for him and for a good while now he had been secretly worrying just how much social interaction there would be waiting for him thanks to his hasty offer.

Luckily, it seemed his patience would not be tested with useless chattering.

When Gaara walked slowly back to the main room, the blond startled again when he emerged from behind his blind spot.

"Are you going to sleep?" Uzumaki asked as he noticed his change of attire.

There was a strange pink hue on his cheeks, one that Gaara couldn't fathom an explanation for. It wasn't that he hadn't noticed them before, but there were peculiar whisker-like marks on Uzumaki's face. The more his blush deepened, the more those marks seemed to fade, rendering his skin close to what was considered normal.

 _How strange._

The fabric of his pajamas was making his neck itch again, and not for the first time he reminded himself to finally unlearn his years-long habit of buttoning up his pajamas all the way up. Casually, he opened the uppermost button and felt immediately at ease.

Uzumaki was staring at him from his spot, his eyes attentive and sharp. Gaara decided to open another button as the itch refused to subside, and even he could not miss the silent cough coming from the blond's direction.

 _What a weird guy._

He wasn't sure what was wrong with the blond, if anything was to begin with, and he most certainly wouldn't waste his time solving that little mystery. With one last look at the tensed, strangely blushing Uzumaki, he said, "Goodnight. Don't stay up too late if you want to have enough sleep."

And with that said, Gaara let himself into the comfortable privacy of his closet.

It was a small space and the floor was covered with a mattress some earlier resident had left here. At first he had wondered about it but soon learned that the closet was the only place where the loud fighting of that couple next door didn't carry to.

With his earplugs filling up his canals the world was comfortably silent. Gaara glanced up at the shelves attached on the walls. Even though he only saw the undersides of them, he could feel their emptiness.

Emptiness was good. Emptiness meant absence, and absence was to be desired.

He didn't have many things to begin with, and over the years he had strived to dispose the most of his material belongings. Not that he often had others' needs in mind these days anymore, but the lack of property assuaged him, for it only meant they wouldn't go through too much trouble emptying this apartment once they'd find his body.

In the middle of the night, Gaara just had to go to the bathroom. That last cup of tea had turned out to be a mistake. Silently like a burglar, he broke free from the closet's safety and tiptoed towards the bathroom. He happened to glance towards the bed as he walked past it, and stopped.

Uzumaki was snoring there, seemingly oblivious of the world around him. But that was not what had caught his attention in the first place.

Naruto Uzumaki was naked. And thanks to the way he lay on his stomach, the blanket hardly covering him at all, he could see his bare buttocks.

In the bathroom, Gaara took out the earplugs for a second. They always started hurting his ears whenever he wore them for too long. Yelling and cursing echoed from the ventilation system and somewhere a bit closer the blond's carefree snoring interrupted the sounds of fighting.

Gaara put the earplugs back in place and wondered if pulling the plug would wake up the blond. The idea of stark naked Naruto Uzumaki being awake when he ventured back into the safety of his closet felt unpleasant to him. But the image of his guest finding an unflushed toilet first thing in the morning was not a pleasant option, either.

Feeling sorry in advance, Gaara pulled the plug.

* * *

In the morning, Gaara was the first to wake up. World was quiet again except the loud snores that repeated at steady intervals. Uzumaki was still asleep.

Quietly, he tiptoed into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. After having a nice, hot shower he finally felt he was ready for the minimalistic socialization he was no doubt expected.

Rich scent of freshly brewed coffee wafted into his nose when he stepped out of the bathroom. Uzumaki was in the kitchen, fussing over the dishes like he had lived here for always. What seemed like an attempt of breakfast lay proudly on the kitchen table.

"Here, have some," the blond said cheerfully when Gaara slowly wandered in, allured by the promise of caffeine.

Gaara stared at the plate of omelet, at the little pieces of eggshell sticking out here and there, but for some reason he had no heart to point that out. Unhurriedly he started to fork food into his mouth, finding the crunchy sensation of eggshells not totally unpleasant.

Unlike Gaara had expected, Uzumaki didn't sit down to have a bite with him, but hurried to the bathroom to take a shower.

And unlike Gaara had thought, the blond didn't lock the door behind him now, or on any other upcoming day when he would crash in his place.

Not long after, squeaky-clean and shower-fresh Naruto Uzumaki strolled back into the kitchen and exploded the room with the scent of his shower gel. Without knowing better, Gaara guessed the name of that impudent smell just had to be "Energy Sports" or "Active Steel" or some other ridiculous bull the men's products were named after these days.

Gaara coughed, trying to shut off his nose with expected unsuccess.

He glared at the blond, at his stupid artificial fragrance and the utterly ridiculous little towel he had tied around his waist. Given how Uzumaki was, he had probably purchased the soap just because of the name. Only someone naively energetic like him could get excited about slogans like that.

Uzumaki seemed to be oblivious to his obvious distaste, and when his cough didn't settle Gaara stood up to take a glass of water. The blond was standing in front of the sink, humming happily and fixing himself some leftover omelet for breakfast.

"Move," Gaara said as he was searching for a clean glass and the blond's head was about to get hit by an opening cupboard door.

"G―" the blond startled and dropped his fork to the floor.

There was that strange awareness on Uzumaki's face again. Gaara ignored it and snatched a glass from the shelf before his cough would get the better of him. Up this close the scent was even stronger and as soon as his glass was filled, he hurried to the table.

It took a few seconds before his guest returned back to normal, and soon Uzumaki's carefree humming filled the room. If he was forced to choose, his off-tune melody was better than his "Steel" scent or whatever its official name was.

Given how the blond paraded around in his tiny towel and how he had chosen to sleep naked in the middle of the winter, it was quite strange to have him startle at sudden closeness. Along with his musings, his attention came to linger on his guest and on the white terry cloth hanging on his hips.

Still happily humming, Uzumaki stepped on the fork on the floor and yelped, quickly bending down to pick it up. In that moment Gaara wished he hadn't been paying such keen attention to Naruto Uzumaki's short towel that now so poorly managed to hide those bare buttocks he had seen an unwanted glimpse of last night.

 _Jesus Christ._

He was certainly not shocked but the heat on his cheeks made him quickly avert his attention back to the window again. Nakedness was unnatural. Seeing another man naked was even more unnatural, and that was the reason he was suddenly feeling this way. He gripped his mug tighter and only when Uzumaki poured more coffee to him, did he look at the smiling blond again.

* * *

 **A/N:** _Woohoo, that was chapter 1. Thank you for reading this far, I hope you liked it._

 _I plan on keeping all the chapters this short (4000-7000 words) so they're easier to handle._

 _And oh, in this story Naruto and Gaara's relationship will develop quite slowly, so be prepared for that._


	2. A Pike in Disguise or Something Else?

**A/N:** _Thanks to everyone who has faved/followed/reviewed and read!_

* * *

 **Chapter 2: A Pike in Disguise or Something Else?**

Like a hawk, Naruto listened to the systematic orders Mr. Sabaku was giving him. Up until now, he had been working on sales pretty much but ever since today he was to offer his assistance in the accounting department. As his boss had pointed out, he needed more experience and circulating him around different departments would give them a clue where he fitted best with his skills, leading to the maximum benefit for the company.

And that had led him to sit at Mr. Sabaku's desk, side by side with the redhead.

"Here," Mr. Sabaku said and dropped a thick stack of documents in front of him.

"These sums don't match. Highlight every number that isn't included in these sums here. Like this," the redhead said and pointed at a column full of digits, then circled a deviant sum with his red pen and wrote down some notes in the margin.

"Think you can do it?" the man asked without looking at him.

"Of course I can," Naruto accepted the challenge. There was no way he'd let Mr. Sabaku down over a simple task like this. If he wanted to get to this quiet redhead's good graces, now was his chance.

Silently, Naruto set to work. The task itself was quite tedious and soon enough his mind began to wander towards things more interesting.

It had been a week since Mr. Sabaku had offered him a place for the night. After that, they had hardly talked as the quiet man liked to keep to himself instead of socializing with his co-workers. Naruto had wanted to exchange a few words with him but it seemed he never got the chance. Mr. Sabaku always looked busy, hiding behind a stack of papers or writing something intently on his computer.

Besides, hadn't the man made it clear he had no appreciation for office chitchat?

Naruto sighed and kept on circling the sums, not letting his thoughts distract him to the point it would affect his work.

Mr. Sabaku was a strange person, shortly put.

Was he a pike lurking in murky water or something completely different? For a moment there, he had been sure of the other but now, his judgment of his character lay undecided.

Fair enough, the redhead had seemed trustworthy and he was his colleague, after all. With his short, thin build he hadn't struck as someone to use physical force on him but then again he knew better than to let first impressions fool him.

All evening he had waited for a sign that would clarify what the redhead wanted in exchange of accommodation. Nothing had really happened, however, and even that weird way Mr. Sabaku had unbuttoned a few buttons of his pajama top had turned out to be just a false alarm. A little relieved, he had gone to sleep.

Until the sound of someone pulling the plug had woke him up.

Heart pounding, he had heard someone coming closer very quietly and at some point he was sure Mr. Sabaku had stopped right next to his bed. Faking to be asleep, Naruto had waited for the man to make his move. Given how he was already naked it shouldn't have been too hard for the redhead to know what he was willing to do.

Well, 'willing' was a vague definition but sometimes it saved him from getting hurt if he played along.

Sure, sleeping with a co-worker was something to be avoided in his opinion but given how tight-lipped Mr. Sabaku always seemed to be about his personal life, he would most likely keep their little encounter as a secret, if it were to ever happen.

And as surprising as it was, Naruto had ended up leaving his co-worker's apartment intact and unharmed.

Maybe Mr. Sabaku was different, then?

Naruto still wasn't sure about that. Certainly, it felt nice to have someone treat him politely like Mr. Sabaku had done, without the usual sexual objectification that more often than not came with male landlords.

"When is the deadline?" Naruto asked as he noticed how slowly he was able to go through the documents.

"At midnight," Mr. Sabaku replied calmly. When the man noticed his surprise, he continued reassuringly, "But I'm confident we can wrap this up by ten."

Naruto glanced at his watch. 8:15 AM. "Ten in the morning?"

"Ten in the evening, of course," Mr. Sabaku corrected with only half of his attention on the conversation. "You've got a problem with that?"

"No I don't," Naruto said confidently and flashed him a reassuring smile.

At the copier, he couldn't help but notice how two women were secretly glancing at Mr. Sabaku's direction. Subtly, Naruto followed the line of their gaze. Never before had he seen Mr. Sabaku wear anything white and he wondered if that stylish dress shirt was perhaps new.

At noon Naruto's attention span suddenly shortened the more hunger got foothold in his stomach.

"Hey, want to go grab some lunch?" he asked the redhead.

To his surprise the man agreed to join his company. At a nearby salad bar Mr. Sabaku picked a table furthest from other customers.

"That's a nice shirt, Mr. Sabaku," Naruto pointed out politely and smiled at the man sitting across him, "It looked like Ino Yamanaka and Hinata Hyuga noticed it, too."

"Did they," the redhead replied uninterestedly and paid attention only to his lunch.

"It looks like they've noticed you for quite some time already," Naruto continued friendlily.

Mr. Sabaku's attention finally diverged from his plate, "I think you should pay more attention to your job than to trivial things like that."

Sheesh. It sure seemed impossible to have casual small-talk with this man, Naruto pondered by himself.

"You're right. I don't really have any interest in office gossip, either. I'm sorry for bringing it up," he then said and followed the man's reactions closely.

While processing his latest words, the redhead's fork stopped momentarily before he resumed eating. With a brief glance at his direction, it seemed the man had accepted his updated view on the social schemes that played in the office.

"How's it going finding an apartment?" Mr. Sabaku surprised him by asking.

"Uh, t-thank you for being so concerned," Naruto stuttered and sat up straighter, "I found a few suitable ones but unluckily for me, by the time I was able to contact the landlord, they had been already rented to someone else."

"I'm sorry to hear that," the redhead replied almost apologetically. It made Naruto smile a little.

"Don't worry, I'll have better luck next time," Naruto promised even though he didn't feel as confident as he sounded.

And here he had thought Mr. Sabaku wanted to be all business with everyone, but it seemed he held some concern for his situation after all. Or at least he had memorized such information about him and then brought it up in a conversation like he truly cared for it.

Six hours later Naruto's eyes were starting to hurt. He squinted at the rows of text printed on the document but gave up after his sight refused to focus. With a little annoyed sigh he closed his eyes for a while. Calm scratching of Mr. Sabaku's pen against paper filled his ears. There was such a controlled rhythm to it, he noticed and realized the same, thoughtful tempo was audible in the way he wrote with his keyboard, too.

The scratching noise stopped and Mr. Sabaku dropped his pen on the desk.

Naruto opened his eyes to see his co-worker hold his face in his hands, rubbing his eyes.

"It's finished," Mr. Sabaku announced, "We did it."

To hear the word 'we' coming from his unsociable colleague made Naruto feel oddly happy. He started to smile and when he replied, his joy was audible in his every word, "That's amazing, Mr. Sabaku. We really did it."

The man rubbed his eyes some more, then started to clean up his desk, "Without your help, it would've taken me four more hours to finish this."

Naruto's mouth dropped open in awe. Had his help really been that valuable to Mr. Sabaku? Respect and gratitude were warming up his chest and he felt like a helium balloon rising up, higher.

"Accounting is not your thing," Mr. Sabaku dropped him straight back to the ground.

"W-Was there something I did wrong, or is there something I could've done better?"

The redhead sighed and fixed him a steady glance, "Not particularly. But this isn't your thing. You should seek for something where you can put your social skills in use."

Was that… a compliment?

Naruto couldn't help but feel like a balloon again and even the fact that his stupid, honest grin seemed to amuse Mr. Sabaku couldn't drop him to the ground.

"Thank you Mr. Sabaku for letting me help you today and learn these things about your job. I agree this might not be an ideal department for me, but even so I enjoyed working with you," Naruto said and beamed.

And the tiniest surprise on Mr. Sabaku's face told him that maybe the redhead wasn't too familiar with unexpected compliments, either.

* * *

There was that Naruto Uzumaki again, amusing his co-workers with his vast set of jokes. He could hear their laughs all the way up to his desk. An uncontrolled, cheery giggle of some woman snapped Gaara's concentration in two and with a defeated sigh he admitted that his ability to carry on his usual tasks had momentarily diminished.

 _Damned Uzumaki._

Last Tuesday their prodigious newcomer had challenged everyone to an eating contest at a nearby ramen restaurant. Gaara had no idea what that ramen even was and most certainly he had not participated in such lame after-work activity.

Not even that persistent, pleading look on Uzumaki's face had made him change his mind.

They saw each other at work weekly but the blond didn't really do more than greet him when they passed. Most certainly Gaara was not disappointed. What would they have even talked about? It wasn't like he knew the guy that well, or what his interests were. He hadn't really asked back then, and he sure as hell wouldn't ask now.

Gaara rubbed his temples and tried to regain his concentration. But just then the blond miracle decided to walk past his cubicle. It was not those hideous orange pants that captured his attention for longer than he had intended but the limp in his step he tried to hide.

In the hours of the afternoon Gaara found himself visiting the copy machine more often than usually but then again, these reports had a due day next week. Still, he was in no hurry, and maybe just because of that he took his time to return to his isolated cubicle each time.

A couple of desks before his own he was sure he heard those two co-workers of his speak about Uzumaki with hushed words. He slowed his pace, as he really needed to think if he had forgotten something and would need to return to the copy machine once more.

At the coffee machine Gaara overheard Uzumaki telling someone curious enough to ask that he had been helping his friend to relocate. He had strained his lower back, he told.

Gaara glanced subtly at the blond's direction while sipping the god-awful mud that the machine had spat into his mug. So had that tear on the seam of his shirt come during the move, too? Before now he had never seen Mr. Uzumaki so unkempt, even though he believed not many would notice. Even in his current state the guy appeared more polished than many.

It was getting late but Gaara didn't feel like going home just yet. At least here in the office it was comfortably quiet even without his earplugs.

"Oh hey Mr. Sabaku. I thought everyone had already left."

Averting his attention from the computer screen, Gaara looked at the blond standing near his cubicle.

"Just drop the formalities. You can call me Gaara. And I just thought I'd finish this thing off before heading home."

"Alright, Gaara. I'd like you to call me by my first name, too," Uzumaki said with his unarming politeness, "Do you need any help?"

He regarded the offer for a moment, then slowly draped a stack of papers to him, "Could you get me a copy of these?"

"Sure thing," the blond smiled and dashed off to the copier.

It looked like Uzumaki―no, _Naruto_ ―did his best to hide his limping but Gaara wasn't so easily fooled. He hadn't noticed it until now but there was a smudge on the blond's leg―a smudge that had been attempted to rub off without apparent success, turning it perhaps lighter but also larger.

Gaara stared at the document on the screen, unable to find his focus anymore. Deciding it would be maybe best to head home for the day, he turned off his computer and started to gather his belongings.

"Here," Naruto said cheerfully and handed him the copies.

Without as much as a muttered thank you, Gaara took the papers and stuffed them in the drawer.

"Are you going home?" Naruto asked and adjusted the shoulder strap of his bag.

"Yes," Gaara replied and got up from his chair. He intended to stride past the blond without further socializing but the troubled expression on his face rooted him to the spot.

"Mr. Sabaku―I mean G-Gaara," Naruto said with unusual awkwardness, and the tender way he pronounced his first name was not lost on him. "Eh, I was wondering if… if by any chance I could spend the night at your place?"

Gaara stared at the little tear on the blond's shirt, "Fine."

"Thank you," Naruto said and bowed, "I―I promise to pay you back in any way you wish."

"No need for that," Gaara replied languidly and walked past the blond, towards the exit.

On their way to Gaara's place, a small grocery store caught Naruto's attention. After noticing his co-worker had fallen behind, the redhead stopped and turned around.

"Let me go get us some food. I can make you supper and breakfast too," Naruto suggested in his kind and considerate way.

Gaara shook his head, "You don't have to."

"But the last time you had only eggs in your fridge," the blond pointed out, however politely, "I can make you whatever dish you like."

The redhead sighed. Someone was starting to get really stubborn here, "Fine. But I don't have any favorite food. You can pick something you like, and share it with me."

Naruto's eyes lighted up and with his usual energetic eagerness he stormed to the store, blabbering excitedly something about ramen. Gaara waited outside, listening as the blond's delighted mutterings vanished into distance. It was chilly, bet it would snow soon. He looked up at the dark, starless sky, at the obnoxious neon signs that competed over attention of every passerby with their flashy colors and restless blinking.

With a sigh he lowered his gaze to the wet concrete below his feet and retreated into a world of his own. Why had Mr. Chatterbox been so persistent on making dinner for him? And had it been weird for him to ask Naruto Uzumaki make them whatever his preferred dish was? The truth was he had no desire for food. It was only something that kept his body alive for tasks he needed to do before the inevitable.

Before his thoughts could take a darker, however familiar turn, Naruto dashed out of the store with two grocery bags in hands.

"Ramen!" he exclaimed happily and sprinted towards the silent redhead.

Not taking part in the blond's excitement, Gaara began to slowly lead the way home. Under the rows of neon signs, the two of them walked in one-sided silence.

* * *

Whatever this ramen was, it was rather good, Gaara decided. But even more fulfilling than the tasty noodles had been the bubbling happiness that had radiated from the blond throughout dinner. To be able of enjoy something as simple as a home-made meal was a strange skill in the redhead's opinion.

"What next?" Naruto asked as it was not yet late enough to go to sleep.

The blond had that slumped, defeated aura around him again. It was another weird thing about him and Gaara wasn't sure what to think of it.

"You should wash your clothes," Gaara said, as he remembered the smudge on his pants, "You can use the washing machine in the bathroom."

"But that's too kind of you," Naruto refused, shaking his head in utter surprise.

"Just do it," Gaara sighed and glanced at the blond lazily. He was too tired to argue.

That seemed to shut up the blond and with that submissive demeanor again Naruto vanished into the bathroom with his duffel bag. A moment later the steady sound of the washing machine carried to the main room and Naruto sat down on the bed, wearing only his boxers and an orange, oversized T-shirt.

Gaara was sitting on the floor and when he noticed the guy's clothes―or rather the _lack of them_ ―he suddenly felt uneasy and turned his back on him.

"What do you want to do next?" Naruto asked again after the silence between them had continued for several minutes.

Do? Gaara huffed by himself. He wasn't much of a doer. Usually he just lay still, staring at the ceiling or whatever there was above him, letting his thoughts course through his head, waiting for dusk or dawn or weekend, or something that would wipe out his existence altogether.

"Do you want to talk about something, about work?" Naruto's voice reached his ears from somewhere behind his back.

"No," Gaara told.

"You're not much of a talker, are you?" Naruto said and he could hear the smile in his voice.

It was true. He wasn't what one would call sociable.

Gaara was sure to refrain from drinking anything throughout the evening, just to avoid going to the bathroom at night and be face to face with the embarrassing situation of having to see Naruto's naked form sprawled on his bed again.

"So do you ever sleep on your bed?" Naruto asked.

Gaara glanced at him over his shoulder, "I don't."

"Why?"

"I don't like to sleep in there," the redhead told but didn't feel like elaborating further.

"Then why do you have a bed if you don't use it?"

However tempting it would be to end this conversation Gaara found himself replying, "My siblings bought it for me when I moved in here."

"You have siblings? How many?" the blond asked.

"Just two, a brother and a sister," Gaara said quietly.

As silence ensued after that, he thought it was the end of the topic. But Naruto replied after a while, "I'm an only child."

Just to direct the conversation out of family matters, Gaara asked with his best uninterested voice, "How's apartment hunting going?"

Judging by the tensed silence on Naruto's part, it had not been a good thing to ask. But instead of feeling sorry for being inconsiderate, Gaara took his companion's silence as a positive thing. At least now he wouldn't have to come up with anything to say, either.

But as he should've guessed their conversation wasn't over yet.

"I haven't found a place yet. But I'm trying," Naruto replied.

Without even looking at him, Gaara could imagine the way his shoulders had to be rounded towards his chest again.

"Can't your parents help you with that?" he then asked quietly. And given how he got no reply, he was sure the guy hadn't even heard him.

"My parents are dead," Naruto told suddenly.

Gaara glanced at him in surprise but then quickly averted his gaze. What was one to say to something like that? It wasn't like he had experience of something similar. Would expressing his condolences sound artificial? He didn't even know this guy so well, let alone his family background.

"I'm sorry," he heard himself replying.

"Nah, it's okay." There was that smile in his voice again. But this time, it sounded superficial.

Naruto seemed to get his energy back and he stood up from the bed. "Well, is there any housework I can do? Any cleaning or other task you've been wishing would just miraculously get done?"

"No," Gaara said. There was nothing in these small quarters that required to be done. But to have someone consider his needs made him feel strangely light. All of the sudden life itself felt unreal, like he was in a lucid dream or in a fictional television show.

"You don't have to do anything," Gaara said, "You don't have to fuss around in here."

"Do you really mean that?" Naruto asked, and something in his happy tone carried an undertone of doubt.

Gaara sighed and closed his eyes. Whenever he sensed an argument was about to rise, he felt it best to stop talking and hope it would just go away. That had always worked before now, at least.

"Well, if you need anything, just let me know," the blond said cheerfully, yet his happiness seemed to have come down a notch or two. Gaara wondered if the guy's shoulders were slumped again but he never turned around to see if his assumptions were correct.

* * *

It was getting late. The darkness behind the windows had become so thick it was impossible to conclude what was there in the first place.

Naruto moved his attention from the black view to his co-worker sitting on the floor, deeply immersed in yet another heavy book. In that closed position, Gaara looked like a statue. Naruto wondered if this was how the man spent all his evenings.

Sleep debt was weighing Naruto's eyelids down like a stubborn hand yanking down the blinds. A little yawn escaped him and he lay down on the bed. Without him really noticing his eyes closed and after a while the same rich darkness that lived behind the windows took over his mind, too.

"Naruto."

All he could see with his mind's eye were stacks of papers and a red pen drawing gigantic circles on the office wall. He must've fallen asleep and with a sheepish smile he lifted his head from the pile of papers Mr. Sabaku had left there for him. The look on Mr. Sabaku's face reflected not an ounce of amusement. Naruto was getting sweaty and when he looked down, he realized they were sitting on a big bowl of ramen.

A half-cut egg swam past Naruto and he shifted in the hot soup, trying to get up. But it was then he saw Mr. Sabaku captured by noodles as thick as ropes. He recognized the alarmed look on his co-worker's face and rushed to free him. With all his strength he tugged at the noodles but it had no effect, given how the redhead was steadily sinking below the surface.

At a loss for how to rescue his colleague, Naruto started to pull him closer in order to throw him over the edge of the bowl. But the noodles around Mr. Sabaku were slippery and the walls of the bowl were wet, and despite his brave trying they found no way out of there.

Of course just then Hinata Hyuga and Ino Yamanaka walked past their cubicle and giggled gushingly as their curious gaze noticed the state they were in. Naruto blushed and hid behind the half-egg that conveniently made its way towards him at the moment.

"Naruto. It's almost midnight."

That voice which spoke his name sounded so close.

"Ramen," he breathed and his hands fumbled to find the edges of the bowl again. They weren't there. Nothing was there.

Naruto blinked his eyes open. Gaara was still sitting in his accustomed spot, now holding a different book than before.

"Were you dreaming of ramen?" the redhead asked but he turned his head away before Naruto could confirm that little ghost of a smile on his face.

"Maybe a little," Naruto confessed and smiled at himself and his silly imagination. When he adjusted his position, pain shot through his lower regions and he hissed quietly.

"Where did your friend move to?" Gaara asked suddenly while reading his book.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Naruto asked, dumbfounded.

A flick of a page later the redhead elaborated, "I overheard you telling how you helped your friend relocate."

"O-Oh, that friend," the blond understood and chuckled a bit, "He lived in the east side until he found a better place in the western district."

Gaara closed his book and fixed him a steady look, "We should call it a night. You're tired and your back is hurt."

"It's really nothing," Naruto told and grinned happily.

Gaara traced the spine of his book with his finger. The little red ribbon that worked as a bookmark peeked from between the pages like a lazy tongue.

"You are limping. It's hardly nothing."

Naruto gulped. He had no idea that the attentive redhead had spotted such a thing. Was he the only one or had his other co-workers noticed it, too?

* * *

Another morning waited for him behind that closed door.

To say that he wasn't that much thrilled about it wouldn't be an exaggeration.

Gaara stretched his arms unenthusiastically and stared at the blank ceiling in the closet. With earplugs still in place, the rest of the world was nothing but a melted hum. And if he closed his eyes, everything else would satisfyingly disappear, too.

Alluring scent of coffee slithered into the closet. No matter how much he tried to prevent it, he couldn't shut off that part of the world. He didn't want to go but then someone was knocking at the door.

"Gaara? Are you awake yet?"

Grudgingly, he sat up to open the closet door but then slumped back to the mattress like all his energy had been used.

Even Naruto's sunny smile couldn't lift him up.

"You're not a morning person, are you?" the blond chatted happily. When he moved, the scent of his soap or shampoo wafted deeper into the closet, into Gaara's nose.

"I made you breakfast and coffee," Naruto informed him, "I'll be leaving now. Thank you for letting me stay."

"Naruto," Gaara said and the haste he said it with surprised him. In a little calmer manner, he continued, "You can stay longer if you want. I won't mind."

It was Saturday and the office was closed. They had no work until Monday. But he didn't offer accommodation because he was worried about the homeless blond, not at all. And he much rather stayed alone in here, too, so he couldn't say he actually enjoyed having him or anybody in here. The thing was, those words had just escaped his mouth by accident and the more he replayed them in his head, the less sense they made.

"I can't stay," Naruto declined and took a step away from the doorway.

"Do you have somewhere to be, then?" Gaara asked, like he really cared.

"Not really," the blond told. He sounded uneasy for some reason.

"Stay," Gaara said and closed his tired eyes.

"I can't. It's too generous of you," the blond said.

"It's no trouble for me," Gaara told. When the blond didn't reply but only stood there with a troubled aura around him, the redhead decided to change his tactic, "Would you make us ramen for lunch?"

"I―I have to get going," the blond insisted and bowed to him politely, "I'm sorry. And thank you for offering me a place to say. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to make it up to you."

Gaara had no idea how to argue with a person so polite. He was not used to something like that. It looked like the blond didn't want to spend time in here, with him, and why would he? It wasn't like he was a people person, anyway, or someone fun to have around. To make a homeless person feel awkward enough to rather stay someplace else than in his company sounded just about something only he was capable of.

When he heard the front door open and then close, silence fell over the scarce square meters of his apartment. Even the usual sounds of his annoying neighbors had vanished into thin air. When he closed his eyes the whole world disappeared again and he wondered if this would be what death felt like.

But then a whiff of coffee penetrated his consciousness and no longer could he pretend to be apart from the world.

* * *

Up until 11 o'clock he would read magazines and newspapers. By now he had adopted a systematic habit of reading the papers in a specific order so that he wouldn't wear out his interest. He would start with something light and humorous before immersing himself in the state of the world. As a snack in between he would glance over the comics of the day before taking a look at something serious again.

Every weekend he came here, to the reading room of his local library. The doors opened at 9:00, leaving him two hours to go through the magazines before the doors to the book hall would open at 11 o'clock sharp.

Not only a place to kill time in, library was a place where he could charge his phone and surf the internet. Always sure to pile up a few school books on his table for bluff, he kept his profile low and coughs quiet.

On some Saturdays he would see an elderly couple here, one that he had gotten quite familiar with. The grey haired man always called him 'sonny' with a respective tone in his voice. Sometimes when the grandpa looked at him with a tiny smile on his face, his eyes would glaze as if he was reminiscing some sunny days of his youth.

The old man's wife made sure to smile at Naruto's unrelenting diligence whenever they noticed him there, in his preferred corner, nose buried in books. And he would smile to them as warmly as he could while wishing them a happy afternoon.

By the look of them, their kindness was something that came naturally and he often saw them chatting with other customers, too. One time they had stared at him fondly and then told him his parents must be proud to have a hardworking son like him. Before any detectable trace of sorrow could surface, Naruto had made an U-turn in his mind and cheerfully told them how Mom was waiting for him next to a kettle full of hot meat soup and how Pops would take him to nature hike next Wednesday if it wouldn't rain.

He had no heart to let them know.

And more often than not, he lulled into fantasies of them being his grandparents. He was sure, if he had ever met his real ones, they would've been wonderfully good-hearted people just like them.

Last night Gaara had seemed to be surprised he knew the author of his latest read, and to be honest the fact surprised himself, too. A little scornfully Naruto wondered if he had ever come to read so much were his circumstances different. Reading, as sophisticating as it was, was a hobby that didn't really make it to his top ten―or thirty.

But given how he couldn't come here to just loiter around, he was forced to show interest in what this place had to offer. It wasn't like he regretted the worlds he had visited, or the throbbing emotions that had coursed through him with each page. It just wasn't how he had imagined his life to be.

Whenever he wanted to be left alone he would pick up anything by Nietzsche. If he wanted to feel even a little bit better about himself and his situation, but also give a sophisticated impression at the same time, Samuel Beckett was his choice. But those times when he really just wanted to have a word or two with someone, anyone, he would courageously keep the covers of the latest bestseller visible for any passerby to see.

Even though to anybody unaware he probably looked like a hardworking young man, he couldn't help but feel bored.

At Gaara's place it had felt nothing like this. With dulled interest, Naruto checked how many percentages still missed until his phone would be charged. To notice he had received a message surprised him.

' _She's away for the weekend and the whole week after that. Come over.'_

Naruto huffed by himself. That guy made it sound like he was some item he could just snatch from the shelf whenever he pleased. And no matter how much he would've liked to correct the man's selfish assumptions, he really wasn't in a position to do so.

He knew how to play this. His first reply was only a winking emoji. Half a minute later he asked if he needed to bring anything with him.

' _No need. Fridge is full of champagne and strawberries.'_

What an airheaded romantic, Naruto thought wryly even though he knew better. They wouldn't really get to the strawberries tonight, or the night after that. Maybe on the third day they would, when their champagne reserves would be drastically diminished.

Naruto rang the doorbell twice then waited for two seconds until ringing it once more. He glanced at the frozen lawn and the white lion statues lounging in the midst of disciplinary winter garden.

Classy, was all he could think of. Good taste without any chance of riskiness.

The door opened and in the shadows stood the pseudo-romantic that had so confidently claimed his upcoming nights solely to himself.

Kankuro Haruno.

An average-looking, normal-height man who was married to Sakura Haruno, a reputable businesswoman who was the only heir of Haruno Ltd. In the midst of all this upper-class wealth Kankuro looked out of place even in his woolen, dark grey suit that matched the tedious tone of his silken tie.

The man didn't even greet him but wordlessly let him in, like he wanted no time wasted on needless formalities. Kankuro adjusted his tie in a subtle manner, a sign of nervousness he rarely showed.

Naruto took off his shoes and followed the man upstairs past marble statues, past paintings with golden frames, along parquet floor covered with a Persian rug the size of an apartment, until they reached the master bedroom.

Silently, Naruto dropped his bag to the floor and opened the zipper of his hoodie just a little. He sat on the bed and leaned backwards, tilting his head as he looked at the serious man.

"Shit," Kankuro cursed and tossed a small cardboard packet to the floor, "We're out of condoms."

"I can go get some," Naruto suggested.

"You can't go to the stores nearby. They'll get suspicious. We have to drive someplace where you fit in," Kankuro told and clutched his car keys in frustration.

Obediently, Naruto nodded and stood up from the bed. As if suddenly remembering something, Kankuro turned around and stared at him intently, "Show me the paper."

Naruto pulled out a folded document from his duffel bag and waited as the man's eyes scanned through the results.

"You haven't slept with anyone since then, have you?" Kankuro asked, his dark eyes all but carefree.

"I haven't," Naruto told.

Kankuro seemed to consider his words for a moment, until he tossed the paper back at him, "Good enough. Let's go."

In a district far less expensive but not cheap enough to make Kankuro's brand new Mercedes stand out suspiciously, they parked next to a convenience store.

"Here," Kankuro said and handed him some bills, "Remember, don't draw attention to yourself."

"Okay," Naruto replied and got off the car.

When he came back to the safety of that black-glassed vehicle he felt like he was in a limousine. He was someone rich and famous, and Kankuro was his diligent yet grumpy chauffeur. He lived in a mansion older than his family tree and he ate strawberries and caviar for breakfast.

And when Kankuro threw him on the bed and stripped his clothes, he imagined the man was there only to please him, to play with him, and not the other way around. Many times he had admired that expensive-looking chandelier above the bed. Tiny crystals that were certainly not made out of plastic twinkled like real diamonds, and he couldn't help but feel like a magpie craving after everything shiny.

So trivial and unnecessary. Yet still he toyed with the desire of someday owning a piece of such nonsensical luxury.

"F-Fuck, Naruto," Kankuro grunted and sweat dropped from his chin to Naruto's face.

Innocently, the blond gazed at him with a half-lidded stare, that drop of sweat sliding off his blushed cheek like a single tear. He entwined his legs a little tighter around him, breathed a little more restrainedly, counted to five and then let his breath come out as shaky, passionate gasp.

"I'm going to―" Kankuro whispered and gripped his blond hair, "C-Come."

In a bathtub filled with rosy-scented water, Naruto lay on top of the brunet. To soak in something so warm and good-scented felt luxurious. Kankuro stroked his cheek and the ring on his finger momentarily reminded him of the world outside their secret bubble.

"I don't know what I would do without you," Kankuro murmured relaxedly, "I couldn't go on a day if I hadn't you in my life."

His sappiness went well with the rosy water and the temperately pink tiles of the bathroom.

Naruto turned on the golden faucet that was shaped like a lion's head and poured some more hot water into the tub. "Would you like to take off your ring?" he asked.

"Nah. I'm so used to it I'd feel naked without it. Besides, Sakura would kill me if she found out I lost it," Kankuro said and caressed the blond's back in a slow manner.

"Are you still going to leave her?" Naruto asked and pecked him on the lips shyly.

It seemed to please the man, given how that hazy satisfaction in his eyes grew stronger, "Now is not the right time. But I will. And then you and I can be together."

Naruto smiled sweetly to him and leaned against his toned chest. He was a merman, a creature of imagination, and this was not his real life, none of it was.

Monday saw them tangled in the sheets, sweaty and raw but not tired. Their packet of condoms was getting empty and strawberries were getting bad in the beam of sunlight. A glass of champagne―neither of them remembered whose it was―stood on the nightstand from the night before.

Kankuro was an average man and not that great in bed to be honest. But Naruto had met him via mobile app and after he had learned his background and detected nothing but unscrupulous romance-hungriness out of him, he had deemed him safe enough to stay in his trusted contacts.

At the end of the week, Kankuro fiddled the Rolex on his wrist in an anxious manner.

"You better leave now."

Naruto understood. He lifted up his bag and put it over his shoulder.

"Here," Kankuro tossed him a thick stack of money.

"Why?" Naruto asked and grabbed the shoulder strap of his bag with his both hands.

"I'm worried about you, okay? Please, take it."

"No."

Kankuro scoffed, "I can do whatever I want with my money."

"It's not yours," Naruto pointed out and made the man blush.

"Don't remind me!" Kankuro huffed, his face red, and pushed the stack into Naruto's pocket, "Now go."

 _Ah, what a hopeless romantic._

Naruto smiled wryly as he let the man escort him to the door.


	3. We're Not Friends, Just Co-workers

**A/N:** _Okay here's chapter 3. Things are slowly getting into motion I guess?_

 _ **Guest**_ _wondered how Gaara would take it if he found out about Naruto and Kankuro's little tryst. We'll just have to wait and see I guess. :)_

* * *

 **Chapter 3: We're Not Friends, Just Co-workers  
**

A week or two later Gaara was sitting at a corner table in a bar. He had promised to meet someone here, someone he had met online. Thanks to his genes, he was often told he looked younger than his age. A thing like that had always been something trivial to him but now he had decided to use it for his advantage.

Doubtful and wary as he was, he had been reluctant to tell that mature woman his real name or occupation. Partly as a joke, he had presented himself as a high schooler just to see how much crap the other would take. At that point he had already been slightly bored with her, wondering if he should just stop replying altogether.

But to his surprise his fake alias seemed to interest her even more and with a promise of a one-night stand, he had agreed to meet.

He glanced around but there was no one coming his way. Had he been stood up? Not that he particularly cared and just to wash away his unnecessary emotions, he gulped down the last of his drink.

The longer he sat here in these clothes the more embarrassed he felt. His long hoodie was half-way unzipped, giving away the ridiculous fishnet shirt he was wearing underneath. Black skinny jeans were something he normally never wore but now they were great at helping him to achieve a more juvenile look.

Ready to leave, as he had obviously been stood up, Gaara glanced around the place one more time. There was no one he was expecting, no one interesting in sight, and he already got up from his chair when a mop of blond hair caught his attention.

Was that Naruto over there?

He looked so short compared to that guy right next to him. And it looked like he was trying to politely distance himself from the hunk, but the man seemed to be persistent. Given how touchy-feely the tall guy was, maybe he was a close friend of Naruto's.

What was that sting in his guts that appeared along these thoughts? It was not disappointment, how could it be? He was a boring personality, introverted and unsocial added to that, and someone as cheerful and bubbly as Naruto would only hang around with him in dire need.

So yes, he was just that―last resort.

He was the last of the last, the bottom of the pile.

He was starting to feel empty again and he wished that whoever it had been online would suddenly appear and make him forget about who he was even for a short moment.

Naruto was guiding the guy's hands away from him, his polite mannerism clear and kind yet it didn't seem to work. His smile was embarrassed and tight, and the way his knees were slightly bent gave a very defeated impression. Just when Gaara was about to avert his gaze, Naruto noticed him.

"Gaara!" the blond exclaimed happily, however the shakiness of his voice didn't go unnoticed. Naruto rejected the guy's groping mannerism once more and hurried towards the redhead.

"It's nice to see you here," the blond said, his cheerfulness superficial once more. Warily, he glanced over his shoulder at the hunk now leaning against the bar counter. "I was just about to leave," Naruto told after it was clear the man wasn't going to follow him here.

"Me, too," Gaara told and even though it was true, to his own ears it sounded like a lie he'd come up with just now to invite himself to the blond's company again.

But Naruto didn't seem to be worried about something like that at the moment, given how his blue eyes were staring at his unusual clothes. Rather self-consciously, Gaara pulled the zipper all the way up and crossed his arms in front of his chest in a protective manner.

A sense of shame washed over Gaara as he imagined Naruto blabbing about his temporary appearance at work. He would lose all credibility if that happened.

When he cautiously glanced at the blond again there was a bittersweet look on Naruto's face.

"Let's go, then," Naruto only said and led the way outside.

It had started to snow. Naruto rubbed his hands together and then put them in his pockets, shivering as a gust of wind blew through his clothes. Gaara walked beside him, not feeling cold or warm or anything. He stayed silent, waiting for the blond to tell when this unexpected encounter would be over.

"I'm sorry if I interrupted something back there," Naruto said after a while.

"You didn't. As I said, I was about to leave," Gaara told, not feeling like opening up about his failed attempt of a one-night stand. "It looked like you had trouble with that guy."

"N-No, it was nothing like that," the blond laughed nervously, "We just had a misunderstanding, that's all."

"Do you go to that place often?" Gaara asked, not out of curiosity but to have something to talk about.

"Sometimes," the blond admitted, like he was ashamed somehow.

But surely the blond's motives wouldn't be even close to something as pitiful as his own. What kind of a grown man was posing as a barely legal adult in order to get laid? Not a very honorable man.

"I take it you won't be telling about this to anybody at the office," Gaara wanted assurance.

Naruto glanced at him sorrowfully, "That goes without saying."

Snow stuck on his blond locks, on the furry hem of his jacket's hood, and the warm pinkish hue on his cheeks had to be because of coldness. He had that duffel bag with him again and Gaara wondered if he had a place to stay in.

But he was afraid to ask him over to his place for he was sure his offer would be turned down. He was a dull host, a dull person to be around and he knew that better than well. Surely Naruto, a cheerful and friendly man, had lots of other, better acquaintances to hang around with.

After all, he was nothing but the last resort, wasn't he?

In the deserted train they sat opposite of each other. Naruto's attention was on his phone and just to have something to do, Gaara pretended to read the newspaper someone had left behind. When his stop was coming closer, he stood up. Naruto put his phone away and smiled at him.

"Where are you heading?" Gaara asked casually.

"Somewhere in the southern district," Naruto replied confidently but there was something in his voice that led Gaara to believe otherwise.

Back at home Gaara slouched to the bathroom. While hot water caressed him sweetly, sensually, he couldn't help but wonder how the blond was doing. Hopefully he really had been going somewhere. Back then he had thought of inviting him here but then he had remembered Naruto's reluctance to stay. Least of all he wanted to force him into here, and he certainly didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable.

Added to that, he had been afraid the blond would be too polite to decline the offer if he really didn't feel like coming.

When he turned off the shower, the air felt cold and unpleasant and it made him shiver. While drying himself on a towel, he couldn't help but wonder if Naruto would be riding trains the whole night.

* * *

Unexpectedly, one day Gaara received a message from Naruto.

' _Hi Mr. Sabaku. It's me, Naruto Uzumaki from work. Thank you for your recent kindness at work and outside of it, too. I was wondering if I could crash in at your place tonight? I'm sorry to burden you with this request on such a short notice. If now is not a good time for you please don't hesitate to say no, as I will totally understand.'_

His politeness was just ridiculous, Gaara thought as he eyed the many rows of the lengthy text message. Such a question would've required only few words yet here Naruto had written almost a novel for him.

Feeling no need for any unnecessary sugarcoating Gaara replied only with a: _'Yes.'_

In an half an hour Naruto appeared behind his door, his cheeks red with freeze and hair snowy. Rejecting the blond's unneeded courtesy he forced him to take a long, hot shower. To the alarmed look on the blond's face Gaara only muttered he didn't want Naruto to fall ill, as his absence at work would indirectly affect his own workload, too.

"You can watch TV if you want," Gaara said to his guest. Once again, he was sitting on the floor, pretending to read a book that had been lying around the place for the past six months.

Wordlessly, Naruto turned on the TV and flipped the channels until he found something worth watching for.

Momentarily Gaara longed for his earplugs until he realized he couldn't really hear his rowdy neighbors through the television noise. He strained his hearing to its limits but all he could catch was a shout here and there. At least now he couldn't make up the words anymore.

Naruto was quietly enjoying his stay, thankfully not opening up any pointless conversations. The moment he had stepped out of the shower and dropped his timeworn duffel bag next to the bed, the blond had dashed to do the dishes, then supper, and then the enormous pile of laundry Gaara had been saving for a moment of inspiration that never came.

And even now the blond seemed to be rattling something in the kitchen. Gaara sighed. He hadn't even heard him go, for he had been too immersed in his own thoughts. He didn't really like the almost obsessed way Naruto had made housework his responsibility. He looked like a slave or a maid and it made Gaara feel uncomfortable.

Besides, those rings under his blue eyes had grown darker again. It looked like he hadn't gotten much rest recently.

"Here," Naruto said and managed to startle Gaara with his sudden presence, "I made tea for us."

Gaara accepted the hot cup of green tea. Next to him was placed a plate full of sandwiches. He hadn't asked for this but now that the food was literally carried to him, it felt nice and he could feel his neglected hunger stir up a bit.

Unlike he had assumed Naruto didn't go sit on the bed like he usually did. This time the blond settled next to him on the floor like it was the most natural of places.

"What are you reading?" the blond asked.

Gaara showed him the cover of his book, "My brother gave me this last summer. I've been meaning to read it."

"They said it was good," Naruto knew and munched his sandwich.

"You've read it?"

"No but the author's earlier works are pretty good in my opinion. You see, I have this habit of going to the library on weekends," the blond said.

Ah, yes. Of course the blond would go to a place like that. He didn't have a place where to stay now did he, and something like a library was just so convenient to kill time in. Never before had it made him so sad to hear somebody reading books.

"Naruto," he said quietly at first. The blond stopped chewing and glanced at him expectantly. "If you don't have a place to stay in, you can spend the nights in here."

"W-What? No, I can't. It'd be just too kind of you and I don't know if I could ever repay you," the blond said and waved his hands in the air in panic with a pinkish hue on his cheeks.

Gaara stared at him, at his widened, blue eyes and his blond brows that held a submissive look. A blush was coloring his whole face now and it went down all the way to his neck, then lower.

"Naruto," Gaara interrupted the blond's rambling, "Stop."

A baffled gasp was the only reply he got. Gaara kept on staring at him until his blank expression turned into something frustrated, "Stop being so damn considerate for even once. If I say you can stay here I mean it. And stop fussing around like a maid. I don't like it."

Naruto stared at him in shock, his face red and his blue eyes glistening. After a shaky breath his shoulders slumped and the oversized T-shirt he was wearing slid down to reveal his shoulder. Naruto lowered his head as if in shame and whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Don't," Gaara hissed, his frustration coming back again, "I'm getting really tired of your politeness."

Naruto nodded but didn't say a word. Gaara glanced at him with narrowed eyes but the longer his gaze rested on the flustered blond, the harder it was for him to stay angry. He figured that maybe an apology would be in order on his part but instead of communicating his growing regret he stayed silent.

The rest of the evening neither of them said a word to one another.

When it was bedtime Naruto was lounging on the bed with one shoulder bared, his slender legs bent on the knees, making him look harmless and innocent. Gaara's attention stayed on him briefly as he was on his way to the closet. Thankfully, the guy was not sleeping naked anymore but seemed to have settled for that large shirt and a pair of boxers.

Naruto was looking at him rather submissively and Gaara's expression softened. In a way he regretted yelling at the guy but there was no way of taking back those words now, was there?

With one last glance at the guy, Gaara closed himself in the closet.

* * *

Just like he had feared, a scent of coffee and some delicious dish woke him up in the morning. Feeling rather grumpy, Gaara made it to the kitchen and plopped down on the chair.

"I thought I told you not to waste your time on this," he said quite straightforwardly.

But Naruto only smiled at him and poured him some coffee, "Sheesh. Someone's clearly not a morning person."

"Naruto," the redhead sighed, "I wish you'd rest while you're here."

"Why?" the blond asked with automatic cheerfulness, and started washing the dishes.

"Why? Because every time I see you, you look more tired than before," Gaara told him.

A nonchalant shrug was his only answer.

* * *

At the copy machine, Naruto handed the designated papers to Gaara as he flipped through the stack of prints.

Out of nowhere, Hinata and Ino appeared on the doorway. It looked like the redhead didn't pay them any attention, nor did he notice the flustered way Ms. Hyuga was looking at him.

"U-Um. Mr. S-Sabaku," the shy woman stuttered and fiddled her fingers.

Gaara glanced at her briefly before going back to his copies. In the background, Ino cleared her throat.

"I―I was wondering if you…" Hinata continued shyly but despite her obvious fright she pushed forward, "Would you like to have c-coffee with m-me someday?"

"Not interested," Gaara replied curtly and gave her a look that was more of a glare than a glance.

Hinata froze and her face turned even redder than before. Behind her back, Ino gritted her teeth and strode towards the redhead.

"Hey Gaara," she started but her tone of voice wasn't that friendly, "Hinata's a really nice girl. Besides, it would do you good to go out with someone. How long has it been already since you divorced, hmm? Two years or more?"

Naruto paled and he discreetly put the stack of prints away. It had to be the sudden tension in the room to make him feel like this. Gaara had been married? It was a trivial piece of information that got nothing to do with him.

"That is none of your business, Ms. Yamanaka," Gaara said chillingly and strode past the women towards his cubicle.

Now when the target of their attention was gone the women turned their frustrated attention on Naruto.

"Do you know if he's seeing anyone?" Ino asked him curiously.

The atmosphere felt suddenly explosive and with an apologetic shrug, Naruto slipped away from the room.

* * *

At lunchtime, Naruto's phone vibrated in his pocket. Without drawing attention he read the message.

' _Do you want to have lunch at Chinese?'_

He couldn't help the goofy grin spreading on his face. Glancing around, he wiped the expression off and started to type a reply.

Ten minutes later Naruto and Gaara discreetly left the office.

He didn't really like Chinese food but it was all the same. Maybe they would have some version of ramen on the menu? Getting his hopes up, Naruto sat down across his redheaded colleague.

Never before had Mr. Sabaku initiated shared lunchtime. As far as he knew the guy preferred eating alone. Naruto couldn't explain to himself why it made him feel so happy and special.

"What are you grinning about?" Gaara asked as he suspiciously inspected his expression.

Naruto's face dropped at that but soon the luminous smile was back again, "I'm just happy I guess. And I'm pretty hopeful about that noodle soup they had on the list."

Gaara gave a wary look at general direction of the kitchen, "The food here is alright."

"Ino had some nerve back there," Naruto pouted and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Gaara sighed in annoyance, "Forget about them. They're not worth our time."

 _Our_ time? The strange feeling from earlier came back to Naruto. He quickly scratched his cheek just to distract himself.

"I didn't know you've been married."

The annoyed look on Gaara's face only deepened, "Not many know."

The longer Naruto studied the grumpy mannerism of his colleague, the lighter he suddenly felt as pieces of a puzzle clicked together.

Yeah, that was it―the reason to his confusion: Given how private and aloof the redhead was, it was nearly impossible to imagine him in a relationship as close as marriage. It didn't look likely that someone like Gaara would let anyone so close, and due to this contradiction had Naruto felt so strange.

That was it. There was nothing else to it.

"So… Are you seeing anyone at the moment?" Naruto asked casually.

His question didn't seem to please the redhead as he only ignored it and kept on staring out of the window.

Naruto let it be for now. It wasn't his business anyway and briefly he wondered what had even prompted him to ask such a thing. When their food arrived, a natural silence fell over them and the annoyance slowly vanished from the redhead's face.

When they sneaked back into the office discreetly, Naruto felt like they were secret allies of this workplace. No matter that going unannounced was Gaara's default way, it made Naruto feel special to be a part of it.

Or maybe he was simply putting too much thought into something trivial like that?

* * *

The day Gaara dreaded every year was here once again.

In all simplicity, the target of his distaste was nothing more but a Friday afternoon spent with his co-workers, out in the woods doing various kinds of activities. Food, snacks and coffee of course were provided for them by the company they all worked in. The idea of such foolish, yearly thing was to boost the office employees' well-being and encourage them to physical activities.

Had such unnecessary gathering been after hours, nothing in the world would've made Gaara participate. But―as annoying as it was―the activity took place during working hours and was thus mandatory.

Usually during this time of the year he always happened to be sick (damned flu) but now he had somehow forgotten to pretend falling ill. His work schedule had been busier lately. Maybe that was why it had slipped his mind.

He heard Naruto's cheery laughter from the other side of the office. Or maybe, just maybe, he had had way too many disruptions during workdays that the looming activity afternoon had completely escaped his memory until it was too late for him to save himself.

"Gaara," a very friendly voice called him.

"Uzumaki," the redhead replied with a tight tone. He had his presentiments of what this would be about.

"You used my last name. Are you angry at me, Gaara?" the blond asked, and the soft way he pronounced his name caused a tiny reaction in him.

"No. I'm just busy," Gaara told, not tearing his attention away from the papers he was going through.

"Gaara," Naruto said again but this time his voice was quiet and oozed friendliness. Gaara had no choice but to drop his papers and look at the sunny blond.

"You are going to join the rest of us this afternoon, are you?" Naruto asked and the hopefulness in his eyes was just too damn affective.

"I'm afraid so," Gaara admitted. Unlike usually, today he was wearing black jeans (not the skinny ones though), sneakers and a hoodie. That, if anything, should've been clear enough message for everyone, and he had no idea why Naruto had gone through the trouble of asking him.

Naruto leaned closer and lowered his voice, "Great. Would you like to be my pair in there?"

Gaara was taken aback. "I don't think we're going to be paired up."

"Well, you never know," the blond shrugged and his smile was just too contagious.

"Fine. We can be pairs if it comes to that," the redhead said very quietly and began to collect the papers that were scattered all over his desk and partially over his keyboard, too.

"Awesome," Naruto cheered and left him to his work.

Gaara sighed, his concentration suddenly gone. There was one thing he couldn't figure out, though. Why would Naruto, the most popular guy in the office, choose his company over everyone else?

* * *

The snow that had fallen from the sky last night was completely melted by afternoon. Only occasional spots of frost still remained on the forest floor.

Naruto was already warming up his muscles with little jumps and quick stretches. Gaara stood completely unmoving next to him, waiting for further instructions. There were many offered activities: canoeing, jogging, darts, pétanque, bowling, wall climbing, weights and a variety of other gymnastic exercises.

"What would you like to do?" Naruto asked.

"There's no need to pair up. You can pick any activity you like," the redhead replied and his lack of enthusiasm was almost comical in Naruto's opinion.

"Would you like to go for a walk? The track is three miles. It shouldn't take us longer than an hour or so. It looks like everyone's heading for canoes already," the blond said.

It really looked like no one else was interested in the nature hike. Maybe that was the reason why Gaara eventually agreed to go for a walk. They made their way deeper into the forest where the track led them. Like usual, the redhead was quiet and Naruto tried to decipher his current mood.

Dressed in black and sporting a navy beanie, Gaara looked like a burglar. The image made Naruto chuckle and in an instant jade eyes were on him, trying to find the source of his sudden delight.

Stifling his laughter, Naruto asked, "Do you go for walks often?"

"I can't say that I do," the redhead admitted.

Their pace wasn't really that fast, but Gaara's cheeks were already pink and he was breathing a bit more heavily now.

Naruto slowed down. It didn't matter if it took them longer than an hour to finish the track. Spending time in the woods with Gaara was nice on its own.

"How long have you been working there?" the blond asked.

"About seven years," the redhead told and thanks to their slowed pace, he didn't look out of breath anymore.

"Seven years? You don't look old enough to have worked seven years in anywhere."

A quick smile-like expression visited Gaara's lips, but then it was gone again. "I get that a lot."

"Have you lived in the city all your life?" Naruto changed the subject.

"Yes. My parents live on the opposite side of the city than me," Gaara told and fastened his pace.

Naruto ran after him and told, "As a kid, I lived in the western suburb with my family. We had a house near the sea."

"Sounds like your family was pretty well-off," Gaara replied.

"Yeah… kind of. But none of that matters anymore," Naruto sighed heavily and started to jog. He expected Gaara to follow him but it never happened. After a few yards he stopped and waited for him to catch up.

"Wanna run?" Naruto asked with a big smile.

Gaara refused to even answer. Was the idea really that silly?

Bad at giving up, Naruto took hold of his hand and started to jog, pulling the redhead along, "Come."

It was a miracle he hadn't expected but eventually the grumpy redhead fastened his pace until he was jogging, too. Given how stiffly he moved, it was clear he was new to this. Naruto stifled his chuckle but didn't let go of his hand.

Only when Gaara wasn't able to breathe anymore and slowed down, did they stop their running. With his back leaned against a nearby tree trunk, Gaara gasped for air with his eyes half-closed. His jade eyes were focused in nothing in particular, just a hazed look that was now permanently burned into Naruto's memory.

Gaara's face was red and he wobbled back to the track and then opened his jacket a little. When he faltered, Naruto seized him by the arm and held him still.

Even after a minute, he was still staring at the heavily breathing redhead. Who would've known that such a short spurt could affect him this way?

"Wanna run again?" the blond asked darkly, unable to look away.

It seemed like the unusual tone of his voice went unnoticed by the redhead. For an answer, Gaara only shook his head as a 'no'. Naruto didn't mind. But eventually he let go and when they started to walk again, his movements were oddly stiff like he was tense all over. Naruto tried to relax his body but nothing worked. The only thing he could see was the airily panting redhead with his eyes almost closed, leaning against a trunk so that his legs wouldn't buckle.

* * *

After finishing the track they were back among their co-workers, who happily queued to get coffee and grilled sausages. Naruto glanced at the solemnly still redhead. It never ceased to surprise him how short Gaara was compared to him. He saw Ino and Hinata sit down at the nearby table and with a calculative look he turned to Gaara, whispering quietly so that no one else could hear.

"I think you should apologize to Hinata. You were a bit harsh on her earlier."

Gaara didn't seem too delighted about that. Maybe that was why he only scowled for an answer.

"You know, all you have to do is be friendly to her once. There were chocolates there. You could give her one and we could sit at their table," Naruto suggested.

"But Ino is there. I'm not very fond of her," Gaara pointed out, however his scowl had mellowed down.

"I know. But leave her to me, okay?" Naruto promised and smiled reassuringly.

As planned, they eventually made their way towards Hinata and Ino's table. As he had expected, Gaara didn't seem too happy about this but then again, as far as he knew the redhead's range of showing his emotions wasn't that wide to begin with.

"Can we sit here?" Naruto asked charmingly and smiled at the blond woman.

Ino only nodded, but her gaze stayed on him maybe a bit longer than usually. Gaara sat down next to Hinata, and the way the shy woman flinched before lowering her face didn't go unnoticed by him. A bit clumsily the redhead handed her a piece of chocolate.

"I apologize if I gave a harsh impression the other day. I didn't mean to be rude," Gaara said with his best unemotional voice.

Naruto studied their interaction from across the table, smiling secretly to his coffee. The shy woman was brilliantly blushing and bravely trying to utter out some response, however nothing but cut off stutters came out.

Ino was smiling at her friend, and when Naruto offered her an extra sausage, she smiled sweetly before turning down the treat.

"Thanks, Naruto, but I don't want your sausage."

Naruto rolled his eyes at Ino and then sipped his coffee. Soon though he fell into his thoughts again, and his focus fixed on the redhead sitting across. Gaara had such a neat way of eating. The way he bit his sausage was sophisticated, nothing like the hungry devouring Naruto always savored his food with.

Only when the redhead got up did Naruto startle out of his musings. When he followed Gaara with his gaze, he noticed Ino was staring at him. With a friendly smile, Naruto nodded at her before leaving the table.

* * *

A month later Gaara stared at the computer screen, unable to remember what he was doing again. It had been like this the whole day since morning.

Today, Naruto had not shown up.

They said he was ill and had to take a day off. Resting at home would be better than coming here to contaminate others, his co-workers had talked near the coffee machine.

When no one was looking at his way to witness him slacking, he quickly dug up his phone and texted Naruto. In the following minutes that he spent on waiting for a reply, he kept on wondering just when had he succeeded to grow this much care for the blond.

He was supposed to have given up on people. He had promised to not let anyone close anymore. And yet he had offered his all but luxurious flat for the blond to stay in, at least on those nights he had nowhere else to go.

Then again, maybe Naruto's politeness had fooled him and led him to believe the guy actually had a little care for him, too? After all, not even his parents had ever been that caring towards him. No one had, and the thought made him a little sad. That meant he would be easily fooled by someone's kindness and he was starting to fear that something like that had just happened with Naruto.

Maybe the blond didn't really care for his company at all but endured it only in order to have a roof above his head? But then again in the past month Naruto had spent eleven nights at his place.

Eleven.

And still he found himself wondering why it was _only_ eleven.

Hold on a second, Gaara snapped at himself. He was getting way too caught up in these stupid thoughts, and at a workplace at that. With a mental slap to his cheek, he promised himself to concentrate in only work and nothing else from now on. However, the tiny beep of his cell phone stole his attention away again.

It was a text from Naruto. Gaara's heart pounded a little faster when he opened the message.

' _Sorry to make you worry! I caught flu and I'm resting at a friend's place. No need to worry!'_

Gaara couldn't help but be amused by the painful politeness of his message. A part of him wanted to call him and remind him to drop the unneeded mannerism. Another part wanted to text him something back but before his fingers could get to work, he managed to prevent himself.

Naruto had said he was at a friend's place. That meant he didn't need Gaara's concern or his trap of an apartment to stay in.

All throughout workday Gaara's thoughts drifted to the blond. Was anyone taking care of him, like he did to everyone else? Here at work Naruto was always sure to help anyone in his kind, unselfish way. In the months he had worked here, he had quickly become one of the most popular employees. Everyone wanted to have a chat with him yet did they succeed to see that flicker of the saddest blue in the depths of his eyes?

Or was it just Gaara who thought had seen that side of him? Surely that was not the case. And out of all people, why would someone cheery like Naruto choose Gaara to be his―

Wait.

No.

Gaara laughed by himself, a sound that made some colleagues of his stop in mid-step as they happened to walk past his cubicle. Resuming to his reserved, old self in record time he waved them off with an annoyed aura radiating from him.

He was not this weak or stupid. He should know better. And everything had been going on just fine before that sunny blond had started working here.

Clearly he was just drawing conclusions out of nonexistent signs. Yes, his heart had been beating more vibrantly after receiving that much awaited message but it had been because of his worry for the guy's general well-being. After all, if Naruto were to fall seriously ill, it would increase his workload too, at least momentarily. So his reactions were purely selfish and had nothing to do with the blond itself.

Feeling a little more secure, Gaara got back to work.

It was close to six by now and he was the only one left in the office. He had already wrapped up his work for the day by now but somehow the idea of going home didn't sound thrilling to him.

Warily he took out his phone but no new messages had been sent to him. A little disappointed, he re-read Naruto's earlier text. God, his politeness was really annoying! His thumb hovered above the screen, ready to start typing a reply but somehow he managed to still it.

Naruto was at a friend's place. He wouldn't come over to his apartment anyway.

That thought stabbed him in the stomach, or maybe it was just the suspicious salad he had had for lunch. Whatever the reason, he decided it was best to abandon these peculiar thoughts that had gone around his head for the past ten hours.

He was being ridiculous. And he was thinking of Naruto's blushing face when he had yelled at him, and before he could prevent himself he was already wondering if that was what the guy looked like when he was having a high fever.

And now, Gaara eyed the short message he had almost unnoticeably drafted for Naruto, unable to decide if he should send it or not.

' _If you want, you can spend the night at my place. I can pick you up if you're not feeling well.'_

The idea of feverish Naruto being thrown into wintry night popped up in his mind. Would that really happen? Could he live with himself if that happened?

Without further pondering, he sent the message.

* * *

"Here. Eat this," Gaara commanded and pushed a bowl of what resembled porridge into Naruto's hands.

"Thanks," the blond smiled and started wolfing down the questionable dish. If it tasted horrible, he was too considerate to admit it.

Gaara inspected the feverish blond sitting on the bed. His face was reddish, his blue eyes hazy but still ever so kind and when he sneezed it was only a tiny sniff that reminded him of a kitten. Gaara stopped in mid-thought and mentally smacked himself on the head. Surely the stupid fever was getting on to him, too.

When he noticed the blond was about to wobble into the kitchen, no doubt planning to make this place tidy and clean once again, Gaara hurried to the bed and seized his arm.

"Huh?" Naruto asked with his blue eyes wide and unfocused.

"Stay in bed," Gaara ordered and let go of him.

"Why?" Naruto questioned but didn't make a move to leave.

"Why? You're ill. You need to rest. Did you really think I'd let you fuss around in here in a state like that?" the redhead questioned in an angered tone.

Naruto tilted his head and his eyes were half-closed, "B-But I don't want you to think I'm abusing your kindness by just lounging around. Please, let me do something to make it up to you."

"You're impossible," Gaara growled and rubbed his forehead. He could already feel a vein throbbing on his temple, "Listen. You stay in bed. You have a high fever and it won't make you recover any faster if you don't let yourself rest."

"But―" Naruto started but shut his mouth as Gaara's cool hand came to rest on his forehead. The concentrated look on the redhead's face was one he had never seen before.

"I think your fever's gone up. Don't tell me you were wearing yourself out at your friend's place?" Gaara asked worriedly.

"Well…" Naruto said shyly and pulled the blanket up all the way to his chin as if shielding himself.

Gaara sighed. He knew it. Patiently, he tugged the blanket a little tighter around Naruto and then stared at him calmly, "I'm going to make you something warm to drink. Wait here. I'll bring you some more medicine, too."

In the kitchen, Gaara immersed himself in preparing green tea. He didn't remember the last time he of all people had fussed over someone like this. He had even gone as far as searched for the recipe of ramen and then succeeded in finding the items on the grocery store. Tomorrow he would prepare that dish to his reluctant patient. Sometimes it felt it was downright impossible to keep the guy in bed. In his absurdly polite way he was incredibly stubborn.

When he came back from the kitchen Naruto had fallen asleep. That was probably for the better, Gaara thought.

Even when the TV was off and his earplugs somewhere out of his immediate reach he didn't feel like shutting off the noises of the world. It wasn't that he enjoyed hearing the angry yells that penetrated these thin walls every now and then but it was the calm rhythm of Naruto's breathing he refused to mute.


	4. Okay Maybe We Are Friends

**A/N:** _Thank you guys for all the lovely reviews! And my sincerest thank yous to everyone who's faved/followed/read. I hope you enjoy this story in the future, too._

 _Sorry for the long wait. I had difficulties with the ending of this chapter, and it took me forever!_

 _Some of you have been asking this, and yes_ _―_ _Naruto is definitely the seme in this story for Gaara. ;)_

* * *

 **Chapter 4: Okay Maybe We Are Friends**

The next morning Naruto's fever had not come down. When Gaara told him he'd be staying home with him instead of going to work it expectedly caused a roar of resistance on Naruto's part.

Calmly Gaara let the blond have his polite rant but deep down he had no intention of changing his mind. Besides, only last month his boss had once again reminded him about the unused vacation days he had in store. Now more than ever was a good moment to use some of them.

With some selected threats Gaara managed to keep the blond from fussing around. Silently sighing, he immersed in the preparation of ramen. He tried to remember how Naruto had made it back then. It had looked so effortless. Re-reading the instructions, Gaara wished his version would be even remotely as delicious as that of the blond's.

After some sweating and hushed curse words, Gaara brought a bowl of steaming ramen to the bedside. Naruto was speechless.

"For me?" he asked the obvious.

"No. For the monsters under the bed," Gaara quipped. "Of course this is for you."

"But…" Naruto trailed off, gulping.

Before that ridiculous politeness could go on any further, Gaara left the stuttering blond alone and returned to the kitchen. Rather unenthusiastically he opened a can of meatballs in sauce that had stood in the cupboard longer than he cared to remember. He didn't really have an appetite but cooking for his friend had been nice indeed.

 _Wait a second. Friend?_

Maybe they were not friends yet. Most likely they would never be. Within two months Naruto would surely find a better job and leave their mundane office behind. A man like him was bound to get bored sooner or later. To someone like him the whole world was an adventure. Something interesting would always be waiting for him just behind the corner.

A little depressed he ate the cold meatballs one by one.

 _But seriously. A friend?_

There was no doubt. He was getting feverish, too.

* * *

Back in the main room, Gaara sat quietly and listened to Naruto's stuffy nose as it whined at every breath.

Thankfully the blond had rested for the day and not even once had Gaara caught him doing housework. When he was quiet and sleepy like that he was actually rather nice to have around. But as soon as that thought arose he dismissed it. Naruto would leave sooner or later. The blond would have no time to be friends with someone like him.

A little angry for some unexplainable reason Gaara glared towards the bed. He was just the last resort. He was pathetic and dull and he wished he would forget about himself even for a short moment of time.

"Hey Gaara?" the patient in the bed mumbled. As if knowing he wouldn't get an answer, Naruto continued anyway, "Thank you."

Gaara huffed. There was no need for such politeness. He was just doing what any co-worker would do.

"I haven't eaten ramen so good in ages," Naruto told him.

That couldn't be true. It had to be another exaggeration masked in unneeded politeness. Gaara didn't like the feeling that stirred inside of him. In a bored manner, he picked up a book and pretended to read it.

"I know this is a lot to ask, but―" Naruto cut himself off in obvious unease. When Gaara made no gesture to encourage or discourage his speech, the blond finally sighed and finished, "Could I stay here for another night?"

"You can stay as long as you like," Gaara replied for he knew that neither of them could predict how long his illness would keep him in bed.

"I want to pay you, alright? Is 60$ per night alright for you?" Naruto asked tensely, like he was ashamed.

Gaara placed his book on the coffee table and walked to the bed. He stared down at his guest and when the blond began to squirm, he spoke.

"I wish you would quit trying to pay me back. I don't want money."

"Then what is it you want?" Naruto asked but his ashamed gaze was elsewhere.

Gaara touched his feverish forehead and the blond startled. "Your fever's gone up again. I'll bring you more medicine."

There was no doubt. The blond was getting delirious. Why was it so hard for him to understand that he desired nothing in exchange? He had already everything he could ever need. And it wouldn't take long until all his earthly possessions would become unneeded.

* * *

Naruto checked his phone. A message from Kankuro didn't really surprise him but he felt already sorry in advance as he knew he couldn't go there. The dreamy brunet and his stacks of money he stuffed into Naruto's pockets in the end. Even though he always pretended to despise such an offering, he needed the money.

' _The house is empty for the next three days.'_

Naruto smiled bittersweetly and replied: _'I'm sorry. This time I can't come.'_

' _Please… I've missed you.'_

Naruto sighed and didn't know what to say. He just wanted to go back to the colorful fever dreams he had been seeing all day.

In the meanwhile, Kankuro the quick writer had sent another message: _'You know I love you. You're the only thing that keeps me going.'_

He wanted to groan. But leaving the man without a reply wouldn't be an option.

' _I love you too, and I'm so sorry. I've fallen ill and I'm at a friend's place to recover.'_

The silence that followed wasn't entirely relieving to him. He didn't really love the man like he had said. It was just part of the game, maybe even more on Kankuro's part than his. As far as he had interpreted it, in their code language 'love' meant he had an obligation to submit into Kankuro's whims. And the brunet's role was to offer him a safe place for the night and gift him with generous amounts of money.

In a way, 'love' was a deal that benefitted them both. But how it made Naruto feel about himself was a different story.

"Is something wrong?" Gaara asked and managed to startle Naruto.

The blond only then noticed the redhead had returned to the main room and was now looking at his way.

"You looked distressed," the redhead explained before going back to his book.

Was Gaara worried about him? Or just curious? But Gaara had never seemed as a curious person before.

"Just a friend…" Naruto began and the redhead's attention returned on him. What was that look on Gaara's face? Was it sadness? Before he could inspect Gaara's expression any further, blankness overtook his features and hid all evidence.

"Just a worried friend, that's all."

When his companion didn't pursue the conversation any further, Naruto leaned back into the mattress and pulled the blanket all the way up to his neck. Gaara was once again wearing out that one spot on the floor and reading a book.

Just to kill time―since he was too alert to sleep but too tired to read or watch TV―he let his gaze rest on various points of his surroundings.

Gaara was wearing slacks and a dress shirt again and it never ceased to wonder Naruto how the guy enjoyed such formal clothes so much. It was a strong contrast compared to those youthful clothes he had seen him wearing at the bar. That fishnet shirt had definitely been… eye-catching.

It made him wonder why the redhead had been there in the first place, dressed like that. But the moment he had noticed Naruto, he had turned oddly closed and reserved. And when Gaara had caught him staring at the fishnet, he had protectively zipped up his hooded jacket.

It made him wonder if Gaara ever felt uneasy around him. He hadn't meant to stare so long and now that he had learned of his divorce and probable straightness, he pondered if little things like that were troubling him.

He hadn't meant anything by that stare, and he hoped Gaara knew it too. At least that was what he kept on telling himself.

Later in the evening Naruto woke up from his drowse as the other side of the bed sank. Gaara had sat down and placed a tray of food and medicine next to Naruto.

"Here," the redhead said and gave him a thermometer. Out of habit, he tested the blond's forehead with his hand.

Naruto closed his eyes and when the cool hand withdrew, heat flooded to his cheeks. His fever had to be going up again.

"Your fever has come down," Gaara announced as he saw the readout on the thermometer.

"O-Oh really?" Naruto asked and directed his attention on the food instead. "Then I can go to work tomorrow."

"It's recommended to rest one day after the fever's gone," Gaara reminded matter-of-factly.

"I know. But I'm feeling alright. Besides, they'll start wondering at work if the two of us are absent so many days in a row," Naruto argued.

Gaara lifted a nonexistent brow. "Why would they put two and two together?"

"You know how keen they are on gossiping about the most trivial of things," Naruto shrugged and laughed uneasily.

"I don't care what they think. They hold no meaning for me," Gaara said monotonously.

Warmth spread on Naruto's cheeks again and he busied himself with his tea. If those people at work held no meaning for Gaara, did it mean that he was an exception? Well, considering all the care he had received from him due to this flu, it shouldn't be so shocking to realize.

But even so, Naruto couldn't stop his cheeks from burning.

* * *

It had been calm for so long he should've known it was only an omen of an upcoming storm.

For so long he had stayed out of touch with his parents that he had started to imagine they didn't even exist anymore. Any text message from his mother always made him nauseated, and on this otherwise peaceful morning, what else could be waiting for him when he checked his phone but just that.

Before even reading the message in full he already guessed what it was about. His father had started drinking again.

He didn't want to know and his selfishness made his stomach sick. Not for the first time and certainly not for the last he wished his parents were dead. Briefly he wondered if he should tell his siblings but then he remembered they were equally reluctant to be dragged back into whatever was happening at home.

And besides, he didn't want to keep in touch with Kankuro or Temari, either.

Sharp shouts of anger penetrated the thin excuses of walls and traveled aggressively straight into Gaara's ears. He wished his neighbors were dead, too, and by the sound of it, it wouldn't be too far in the future.

"Hey Gaara you awake yet?"

Shaken out of the slumber of his thoughts, Gaara snapped back to present. He had forgotten the blond man's existence altogether. Slightly annoyed, he opened the closet door but fell back on the mattress right after.

"What's wrong? You look like someone just murdered your family, or something horrible like that."

Gaara smiled. It was an optimistic, unpreventable reaction for words so sweet and even though he realized his expression was not socially acceptable, he couldn't immediately turn his face back to stone.

Naruto didn't seem to question his choice of emotion, however, but responded with a grin of his own.

"You like omelet, right?" the blond asked good-heartedly. "Well guess what. I made you some but without eggshells this time."

Gaara stared at the beaming blond. From behind him sunlight flooded into the closet. His posture was flawless, just like the confident look in his azure eyes.

"I'm not hungry," Gaara apologized. He didn't feel that great to be honest. The weight of his mother's message was sinking him deeper into the mattress.

"Aww come on," Naruto encouraged and happily hopped into the kitchen. For someone who had suffered from high fever only on the previous day, he sure had suspiciously much energy in the morning.

At breakfast table Gaara found himself going for the seconds with the omelet. He wondered why it was that around Naruto his lack of appetite rarely prevented him from eating.

After breakfast Gaara locked himself in the bathroom. He spent some extra minutes under the warm water, leaning on the tiles and contemplating life in general. The hum of shower erased all the other sounds and when he closed his eyes, the cool tiles were the only reminder he was still a part of this world.

The river that streamed through their city was not yet frozen. If a person were to fall into it, their body would have a good chance of staying unfound until spring at least. If the river would freeze until the body began to float, nobody would be any wiser of the missing person's whereabouts.

Despite the hot steam in the bathroom that made his skin sweat, Gaara stubbornly pulled up his slacks and buttoned his dress shirt all the way up. Only when he was clad from head to toe, did he unlock the door and let the steam out.

Naruto was on the phone. He looked anxious.

"What do you mean 'don't bother coming later if I don't come now'?" he was asking. He stopped his pacing with his unaware back turned to Gaara's direction.

"Come on, isn't that a bit unreasonable?" Naruto argued to whoever it was on the other end of the line. "Yeah, I'm feeling better today but I should still rest. Yes, I see what you mean. No, that's not what I was saying."

It sounded like a fight. Silently Gaara retreated into the kitchen and poured the leftover coffee into his cup. Naruto, the sociable man and everyone's favorite person, surely had plenty of friends. It wouldn't surprise him to learn that everyone fought for his company and wanted to have him around. In a battle like that Gaara didn't have a chance. He was dull and boring, a stark opposite of Naruto.

When he heard the blond's quiet steps on the doorway he knew what to expect.

"I have to go. I'm sorry."

"Just don't wear yourself out," Gaara said without a trace of emotion in his voice.

Unlike earlier, this time it was harder to keep up his impassive mask. When he was absolutely sure his face was nothing but a blank canvas, he dared to turn around and face his guest.

"If you fall ill again because of unnecessarily fussing around, I will lock you in the closet until you recover," Gaara muttered, attempting to lighten up the mood.

Naruto smiled like the sun and before he knew it, the blond was patting him on the shoulder like he was 'one of the guys'.

"You're a great friend, Gaara. Thanks. I really appreciate what you've done for me. No one's been so nice to me before. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask."

 _A great friend?_

Gaara turned away stoically and adopted his accustomed reserved mannerism in a second. He watched Naruto pack his things while gripping his coffee mug tightly. Was he really Naruto's friend? And was it true that he was the first to treat him this nicely? Gaara had just been considerate. He hadn't meant to go overboard with it or anything.

Surely the blond must've exaggerated again. A man like Naruto would have plenty of people rolling the red carpet out in front of him. What Gaara had done was nothing special or remarkable. Naruto was just being _nice to him_ , right?

But when the blue-eyed blond stood on the doorway, hesitating his departure for some reason, he suddenly moved towards Gaara like he attempted to hug him. Maybe it was the miniature shock on Gaara's face or a sudden change of plans but instead of a hug Naruto settled for a long handshake.

When his tanned hand withdrew, his blue eyes were unreadable and without a word, he vanished into the wintry world that was bolted behind the door.

It was so quiet again. Quiet and peaceful.

Peaceful and boring.

 _Just like me._

But unlike any other time Naruto had been here, this time Gaara felt something had been different in the end. The usual nervousness and unexplainable reserve Naruto treated his surroundings with had lessened to a minimum albeit it wasn't completely gone.

It felt like the man had started to trust him. And he had called him a friend.

Even though it made him feel light in the heart he couldn't be sure if these feelings were to be trusted.

* * *

A week or so later Naruto's exuberant mood was radiating all over the office. It was unsure to Gaara if the blond was aware of it but it looked like there was a smile on everyone's face that day. Their small sun was currently spreading happiness near the coffee machine. Gaara thought of fetching a cup but then decided against it. He could feel the rays all the way to his cubicle already.

In a downstairs corridor leading to the restrooms Gaara met the joyous blond. There was no one else around.

"Hey wait," Naruto stopped him as he was about to make his way past him.

"I think I've finally gotten an apartment," Naruto boasted and threw his fists in the air in a sign of victory.

"Congratulations," Gaara replied and an unknown weight lifted from his shoulders.

"Thanks," Naruto grinned and put his hands behind his head. "The landlord said I could get the place. He said he has to check some things but promised to call me in the afternoon so we can sign the lease."

The blond was all smiles and it was clearly impossible for him to contain his excitement. Even that one broken bulb in the long line of corridor lamps didn't stand out as much now when Naruto was shining his light all over the place.

"It's a very small apartment but it's not too far away from here. The rent is reasonable, too," Naruto mused and Gaara found it hard to not let his good mood rub off on him, too.

"Maybe we should celebrate this somehow?" Gaara found himself saying.

Naruto's smile widened. "I'd love to. See you around before the office closes, alright?"

The redhead nodded and when he slowly made his way back upstairs, he couldn't wipe out the faint smile from his face.

* * *

The most of his colleagues had already left but Gaara hadn't seen a trace of the blond since their latest chat. There was a chance Naruto had momentarily gone out with his other friends, so Gaara wasn't too worried.

Eventually he noticed he was the only one left and with a slight frown he began to pack his bag. He decided to pay a quick visit to the restroom before he would leave, too, and then text the blond to ask if there had been a change of plans after all.

In the empty restroom, Naruto stood facing the mirror.

"Oh, hi," the blond said quietly but this time his earlier bubbly enthusiasm was nowhere to be seen.

"Everybody's left already. I thought you had, too," Gaara told and remained on his spot, studying his co-worker. "What's wrong?"

Naruto shook his head slowly. "Ah, you know. The landlord found something wrong with my credit rating and called our negotiations off. Just my luck, heh."

That was horrible news. Gaara wanted to console his friend but wasn't sure how.

"The thing is, some years ago I was short on money and I was forced to leave some bills unpaid. At the same time I was trying to help a friend in a similar situation and I guess we both ended up in trouble despite our efforts," Naruto told and laughed bittersweetly.

Gaara placed a tentative hand on his shoulder. Naruto looked at him, surprised. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Before the contact would start to feel weird, Gaara quickly withdrew his hand and put it into his pocket. He didn't want to leave Naruto here all alone, not with this mood he was struggling with.

Naruto looked absolutely crestfallen. His blue eyes had dimmed into steel blue and even those whiskered marks on his cheeks were drooping in despair.

"How about we go somewhere to eat? My treat," Gaara offered.

With a feeble shrug Naruto agreed.

* * *

It was a Japanese restaurant, one that the blond had chosen for them.

While waiting for their food to arrive they sipped their drinks in mutual silence. Naruto felt desperate and anguished but in the company of his red haired friend he felt strangely better. No one else had noticed the drop in his mood in the afternoon but the redhead. Or at least no one else had asked if there was something wrong with him.

His homelessness was a secret he protected dearly and no one else at the office but Mr. Sabaku was trusted with that information.

"Gaara? Is that really you?" a woman's voice called.

Both Naruto and Gaara turned to look at the blond, busty lady who now stood before their table.

"Tsunade," the redhead said tightly.

"Long time no see. How are you doing?" the woman asked kindly yet confidently.

"…Fine," Gaara replied and sat completely still like a statue. His eyes were cast downwards and there was no expression on his face.

The woman turned to Naruto, giving him a head to toe glance.

"I'm Naruto, Gaara's friend," the blond introduced himself with a polite smile.

"It's nice to see you've made a friend," the lady said and ruffled Gaara's hair in a motherly way. The stiffening of his shoulders was the only reaction he showed.

"I'd love to have a dinner with you someday for old times' sake," Tsunade suggested and then added, "I've thought about us lately and… I just, well, nowadays I'm sober."

Naruto stilled in his seat, bringing his glass to his lips to hide any curiosity that crossed his mind.

Her hand lingered on Gaara's shoulder. The paleness on his cheeks had turned into tender pink.

"I'll give you call, alright?" she promised before leaving.

Naruto fidgeted in his seat and waited for the quiet redhead to explain something, anything. When the only visible thing he got was a slight loosening of Gaara's tensed posture, Naruto sighed and lowered his glass.

"Who was she?" he finally asked, not even sure himself why it interested him so much.

"My ex-wife," Gaara told quietly.

"Really?" Naruto replied in shock, thinking of ways to compliment her. "Uh, she seemed nice. She looked like about the same age as my mom."

Oops.

Gaara shot him an annoyed glare and the feeble color on his cheeks deepened.

"Sorry. I didn't mean it as a bad thing," Naruto apologized humbly and waved his hands in the air in panic. "I just didn't expect her to be…"

"…In her fifties," Gaara finished the thought indignantly.

"Look, it's none of my business, alright?" Naruto reminded. "I'm sorry."

Gaara sighed tiredly, "It's alright. You're not the first one to point out things like that."

"People are ignorant, including me. It's nobody's business who you marry to. Love is love, and that's it," Naruto tried to save the situation.

Gaara didn't reply but the annoyed look slowly vanished from his face. When their food arrived Naruto busied himself with his ramen, careful at not to bring up any explosive topics anymore.

To his surprise, somewhere in the hours of the evening Gaara re-opened their long-buried conversation. Maybe it had to do with the delicious desserts they had ordered―which had visibly lifted up both of their moods―or maybe it was thanks to the few beers they had downed.

"We met when I was in high school. When I started college, we moved in together and sometime after that, we got married," the redhead told.

Naruto wiped his mouth on a napkin while listening. He was curious of how they had met but didn't dare to ask.

"There were obstacles in the way of our happiness, which eventually led to a divorce," Gaara told, swinging his water and ice cubes around in his glass.

Naruto listened to the little chinking noise of ice cubes hitting against the glass. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Gaara waved his hand in the air like he was tired of the topic. Naruto sipped his drink pensively and wondered how strange life was. Never would he have believed someone like Mr. Sabaku would find a soulmate in a woman twice his age.

"Have you ever been married, Naruto, or had a long-term girlfriend?"

Naruto startled at the question, not only because it was something he hadn't seen coming but because Gaara rarely showed interest in his personal life.

"Can't say that I have," the blond told with a bittersweet voice and sipped his drink again.

"That's surprising, given how you're Mr. Popular at the office," Gaara said but it was unclear if he was being humorous or not.

"Getting along with people is a lot easier than finding someone you fall in love with," Naruto only replied and averted his gaze.

His words got no reply, and when he eventually glanced at his red haired co-worker again, there was an empty look in his jade eyes. Absentmindedly, Gaara was biting the straw in his drink and staring into distance.

"I don't know if I've ever really loved anyone. And I'm not good at getting along with people, either," Gaara confessed and his honesty surprised Naruto.

"But you were married," the blond pointed out, not sure how to approach the redhead's words. He was afraid that if he tried to guide their conversation into more personal level, Gaara would close himself in like a clam.

"Marriage doesn't have to do anything with love," the redhead only told and chewed his straw again.

"That's a rather cynical point of view."

"But it's practical," Gaara replied. "What else is marriage but a legal contract between two people?"

"I wouldn't want a marriage without love," the blond said quietly and looked softly at the sad-looking redhead.

Gaara seemed to miss the tenderness in Naruto's gaze, given how his desolation never subsided. It was a sad sight, and Naruto wanted to wipe the emotion away from his friend's face. Someone kind and considerate like Gaara deserved a fair slice of happiness, too.

"I'm sure things will work out for you, eventually. You'll find someone precious. Maybe it will happen when you least expect it," Naruto said with a warm smile.

Gaara's stare was downright searching and Naruto had never seen such depth before. Unlike usually, now the redhead looked defeated and perhaps even vulnerable, not at all like his usual guarded self. To say he looked hopeless was maybe an exaggeration, but the hollowness that radiated from him made Naruto frown.

Naruto wanted to say something more, he wanted to reach closer to his friend's soul, but he was afraid Gaara would close himself in. Before he could make up his mind about what to say, the redhead decided to speak.

"I'm not so sure what fate awaits me, but you're a likeable person, Naruto. I can see you meeting some wonderful girl and falling in love, having a family and a house that has more windows than my apartment has square meters. And I'm sure there's a line of candidates waiting behind your door even now."

Naruto snorted at how far from reality such an innocent assumption was. Most certainly he wasn't looking for a girl, and to think there would be _an actual line_ of them just waiting to date him, was the most ridiculous thing he had heard in a while. Gaara had said it with such seriousness that he wasn't sure if it was his honest view or an attempt to joke around.

Nevertheless, it made Naruto chuckle.

A homeless guy like him, with a credit rating that was nothing to celebrate with, he was hardly a catch in anyone's eyes. His looks could only get him so far, and as soon as anyone he liked noticed his social status, suddenly they were not interested anymore. He didn't blame them, though. He wasn't the best option out there and he knew it.

Out of all the people he had met in the past years, only Gaara was genuinely hospitable towards him. To notice the redhead wasn't actually looking for anything 'less honorable' for reward was a miracle that astonished Naruto even today. Gaara was a nice man, and his looks weren't bad either.

Briefly he was reminded of the sight of Gaara panting, cheeks red and eyes half-closed, leaning on a tree trunk for support.

"Do you want to spend the night at my place?" Gaara asked, oblivious.

"S-Sure," Naruto agreed and gripped his glass tighter.

* * *

At the train station they noticed the last train was about to leave. Naruto steadied his duffel bag more securely on his shoulder and seized Gaara's hand.

"We've got to run. Come on!"

Gaara had no chance to refuse when the blond was already tugging him along. With haste they ran towards the train and only barely made it in time. When they hopped inside, the doors closed behind them and the vehicle started to move.

Thankfully it was not crowded. They sat down next to each other, and only when Gaara made a move to free his hand, did Naruto realize he was still holding him tightly. A little ashamedly he let go but didn't apologize. An elder couple sitting on the opposite side of the corridor gave them a prolonged look and it was clear Gaara noticed them too.

But Naruto couldn't bring himself to care of what they might be thinking. All he wanted to concentrate on was the out-of-breath redhead next to him and his slightly flushed cheeks. He wanted to seize Gaara's hand again and hold it for the rest of the ride.

Where these thoughts had come into his mind, he wasn't sure. It could be that losing that one promising apartment, and the depression that had followed, were the reasons why he was feeling more emotionally confused today than usually. And then his red haired friend had complimented him and told him there was a bright future waiting for someone like him.

Naruto blinked. He was mixing things up. Gaara being nice to him (in his own, restrained way) was something his turbulent heart confused for something it was not. Naruto tried to tell his heart that, but it didn't listen. For an answer, it only beat two beats faster when Gaara absentmindedly licked his dry lips, unaware of being watched.

Given how Gaara had kept on talking about marriage and girlfriends as if no other options were even there, he most likely was straight. Naruto didn't know why it made him so sad right then, like a wind going through a graveyard.

Gaara turned to look at him just then and noticed him staring.

Naruto meant to smile but instead he forgot how to do it and just kept on staring at his friend with a loaded look. A questioning frown visited Gaara's face before it turned blank again, and he rested his head on the bench tiredly. He closed his eyes with a sigh, and Naruto was drawn into that sight more than anything.

* * *

Later on Naruto was lying on the bed and resting his eyes on the quiet redhead who was reading a book.

Whenever they were together, he felt safe and happy. The horrors of having no home were postponed to another day whenever he spent his nights in here. If he hadn't had so many kind friends who helped accommodate him, he surely would've lost himself in drugs and despair long time ago.

And even so he occasionally found himself in situations where being sober was just too unbearable. Being intoxicated was dangerous, for it exposed him to all kind of other threats many had no idea of, but in some cases it was the better of two evils.

Hooking up with strangers in order to get a place for the night was an absolute nightmare every time. He hadn't really talked about that side of his life to anyone. Some wounds were just too deep to open up about.

And it made him wonder what wounds Gaara had that made him so defeated and sorrowful.

* * *

Some time ago Gaara had noticed the way Naruto was looking at him, but he kept on pretending he didn't notice.

Such concentration was rare to see on someone like Naruto, and if Gaara recalled right, not even the most difficult tasks at work could surface that kind of deep contemplation.

If he thought about it logically, the only reason for Naruto to be looking at him in such an obsessed way was pity. Yes, pity. Tonight, his co-worker―no, his _friend_ ―had found out the identity of his ex-wife. Gaara was ashamed. There was a reason why only few knew of his personal life in the first place.

The next logical step would be that Naruto started thinking there was something wrong with him. Gaara had, after all, been married to a woman that could be easily mistaken for his mother. Would Naruto think badly of him from now on? Did he pity him, secretly seeing Gaara as a twisted weirdo?

And if so, how long would it take until Naruto would politely let go of their friendship?

These doubts were making Gaara's throat dry and with a little bit more force than he intended to, he slapped his book shut and headed to the kitchen. A tall glass stood on the upper shelf on the cupboard and he reached for it, standing on his tiptoes but unable to get it. As much as he appreciated Naruto doing the dishes, he absolutely cursed the taller man's habit of placing everyday kitchenware on the upper shelves.

But admitting his shortness and getting a chair for help was out of question, of course. With his accustomed annoyance, Gaara was about to give up and opt for a used mug on the sink instead, when Naruto suddenly stood right behind him and easily grabbed the glass.

"Here," the blond said with a smile.

Wordlessly Gaara filled the glass with water and then slowly began to sip it. He was thankful and annoyed at the same time. Thankful, because his friend had helped him out. Annoyed, because he had needed help in something simple like this.

"I always forget how short you are," the blond said friendlily, and this notion all but delighted Gaara. "Sorry I put these up in here, it was very unthinking of me," Naruto apologized and began re-organizing the cupboard.

Gaara stepped aside, appreciating the effort yet unwilling to show how he felt. Why did he have to be like this? Was showing gratitude really that hard?

Even though he tried to loosen up, he couldn't find a way to thank Naruto. Because he was acting closed-off like this again his friend would no doubt interpret his actions as smugness and coldness. He was not good with people, yet this knowledge never helped him to alter his behavior.

No, from day to day he remained as an aloof grouch and the fact that someone like Naruto was still around felt like the eighth wonder of the world.

"You know, Gaara…" the blond trailed off while trying to decide if the scarce mugs and glasses should be organized in neat rows or if they could be just mixed up randomly. To no one's surprise he ended up with the latter.

"I don't know if you were joking or not, but you were wrong about me. As far as I know, no one's lining up behind my door to date me. Man, you should've seen the way Ino and her gang were looking at me the other day when I was wearing my orange chinos. Let me tell you, that was not a look of adoration," the blond chuckled with self-irony.

"But you on the other hand…" Naruto continued his monologue and smiled mysteriously at the cups and mugs, "You seem to catch the ladies' eyes pretty often."

"I couldn't care less," Gaara blurted out rather coldly before he could stop himself.

Naruto stopped what he was doing and stared at him for a moment in that mysterious way only he could. Gaara shifted in his spot a little, not sure what in his words had caused such a reaction. A genuine smile came to Naruto's face and he closed the cupboard doors.

"Well, that is none of my business," Naruto replied and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "But let me just say that whatever you might be telling yourself, you're a fun guy and nice to have around."

That could not be true. Gaara refused to believe that description of himself. There was no way someone like the blond could make that kind of positive judgment based on the interaction they had had so far.

And then the thought came back to him again: if he didn't change his behavior to more open and friendly, Naruto would grow tired of him and eventually leave. The idea made him sad, and at the same time he wondered if he could ever live up to the positive image Naruto seemed to have of him.

He had to try, and so Gaara said quietly, "I appreciate you doing housework around here but I don't want you to tire yourself out. You need to rest while you can."

Sadness visited the grayish blue eyes of Naruto and he hesitated a good moment before replying, "Thanks. It's just… I'm not used to people telling me to do nothing. Where ever I go, I am expected to do something."

"Well, that rule doesn't apply here," Gaara only told.

The blond's hesitation seemed to grow and his next words took longer than the previous ones.

"There are a lot of people out there who have no second thoughts of taking advantage of guys like me. I am so used to it that I even expect it, and I guess that was the case with you too, in the very beginning… But you're something else, Gaara. You're not like them."

At first Gaara felt saddened for his friend's sake but soon that sorrow turned into doubt and he began analyzing the things in between the lines.

Compared to the scum, Gaara looked to be pretty alright. Wasn't that what Naruto had meant?

And it wouldn't take longer than the next honestly good person for Naruto to meet, that the blond would realize Gaara was not the funny, nice guy he had mistaken him for.

And then, Naruto would leave.

Gaara was angry at himself for once again thinking only of himself and his own pain, when he should've just moved forward and tried to comfort Naruto. But no, here he was yet again, wallowing in his worthless self-pity.

He was about to leave the room in hopes of getting his head cleared, when Naruto seized his wrist.

"Out of all the good people I've met, you're one of the best."

Blue eyes looked honest and sincere and this time it was hard for Gaara to deny those words, or find any lingering misinterpretations behind them. It made him feel strange. Warmth was a small bundle inside his chest that unfurled slowly until it had covered him in a comfortable sensation, like a friendly embrace.

Naruto's hold dripped down from his wrist until they were holding hands. Gaara's pale, limp fingers stayed in that touch like he was an involuntary part of this communication. When Naruto's fingers threatened to let go, a pulse of energy (or perhaps it was desperation) coursed through Gaara and he squeezed his friend's hand quickly.

And as soon as he did it, Gaara let go and headed to the main room. Naruto stayed behind, but even so Gaara felt like his friend presence was with him, entwined around his pitiful soul like a warm embrace.


	5. Even When You're Grumpy, You're Cute

**A/N:** _Thank you a thousand times for all the wonderful support, thank you for reading! :3 You guys truly rock. ^^_

* * *

 **Chapter 5: Even When You're Grumpy, You're Cute**

Kankuro watched the calendar on the kitchen wall. Compared to how empty their shared calendar had looked only some years ago, now those red rings around weekdays had only increased, as his wife had marked her upcoming business trips there.

He hardly ever saw her anymore. But maybe it was better that way.

It wasn't like he was her dream husband or anything, no matter that she never agreed to admit it.

An enigma that had kept intriguing him for years now returned to his mind. Why had she chosen him out of all people? Surely he had not been the only one to notice her wealth, success and, well―beauty, too.

He had been a college student around the time they had met. Through a mutual friend, he had somehow ended up modeling for her art projects, as she had wanted to balance her busy schedule with a beloved hobby. She was a skilled painter and he had a hunch that if it hadn't been for the family matters, she might've pursued art as a career.

Slowly he had gotten accustomed to her attention, how accurately her brush eternalized the shape of his lips, the length of his legs or the evening light that caressed his face when he lay on the studio floor, shirt open and hair uncombed.

Her attention on him was flattering yet a bit oppressing at times. When painting his appeal wasn't enough anymore, she adopted a habit of unbuttoning his shirt whenever she pleased and he let her. He let her turn that innocent manner into custom where she could touch him freely, making him flustered and hot without ever really doing anything too inappropriate.

She was wealthy and good-mannered and everybody liked her. With her, he felt like somebody better, somebody who mattered. She started giving him gifts, something impersonal at first like expensive watches but soon her tokens of affection personalized into clothes she knew he preferred, or cologne he was sure to like.

And when she had eventually proposed him, he had said yes.

In retrospect, it was a bad choice. He shouldn't have given into her possessive attitude she treated him with but trusted his gut instinct and turned down that deal of a lifetime.

Then again, if he could go back in time, would he really hold to his ethics and refuse the money he had married?

Tch. Hardly.

Kankuro's gaze stopped on the 14th. It was their wedding day. She wouldn't be home then and he had no idea why it made him suddenly sad. It wasn't like he was in love with her and he knew this was a thing that should've made him feel guilty yet it never did.

Their first year and a half had been rosy and springy. Needless to say, everybody he knew was envious of his position as he clung by her arm where ever they went. And whenever she smiled at him in public he felt like a star in a romantic bestseller, only though _this_ wasn't fiction but his very real life.

In the heat of their honeymoon he had given up his family name without much regret, as well as his occupational dreams of working in a theatre. To receive a secured job at Haruno Ltd had felt thrilling at the time and the respect people always treated him with whenever he introduced himself as Mr. Haruno was enough for him to bury the man he had been before meeting her.

Why it had happened, he couldn't really say but slowly he had lost interest in her. Maybe it was the constant stress or the dullness of his work, or the never-ending wealth that made him numb.

He stopped touching her, bringing her pleasure.

At first, she had accepted it as a momentary lapse but when it continued for longer than six months, she became frustrated.

It had started with an innocent brush of her fingers against his orifice. To see him startle so purely, before he could mask his reaction, encouraged her to explore the matter further. Soon that feminine finger pushed inside of him, probing him with embarrassing interest and she saw that her husband hadn't turned into a complete impotent after all.

He had told her to back off but with the same possessiveness she had treated him with from the very beginning she did none of that but instead kept on pleasuring him even more eagerly. Over time she found the spots that made him moan and arch his back in wild want, and even though that uncontrolled passion in his eyes was never really directed at her, it didn't seem to matter.

Her finger was eventually replaced by a strap-on dildo and even though he told her to just forget about it, the uncontrollable desire that had unfurled inside of him when she had slowly pushed deeper was enough to convince her otherwise.

She made him come like that repeatedly, taking joy out of his embarrassment and shame, his obvious reluctance and the blush on his cheeks. His 'no' was a 'yes' to her and whenever he had spent too many days neglecting her presence, she would appear to him with that devilish toy.

He was ashamed how ridiculously hard it got him, when something so slick and thick and hard penetrated him.

More often than not he had wondered what joy she got out of it, for as far as he knew she could never reach her peak that way. Her lack of orgasm ashamed him yet it seemed she found pleasure in humiliating him this way. At least to him, what she did to him felt humiliating.

At some point he had reached his limit and instead of continuing to reject her obsessive ways he had given into her fully. He let her do whatever she pleased with him but his consent didn't seem to bring her the joy he had imagined.

Fewer became the times she would search for his company to remind him of his place. It unsettled him for reasons he couldn't decipher at the time and instead of studying his emotions, he started to look fulfillment from elsewhere.

And thus he had met Naruto.

The blond had ridiculously good manners and his smile was luminous―things he had in common with Sakura but Kankuro would never mention the resemblance aloud to any living soul. But unlike his wife, Naruto never thrived to get the upper hand. No, the blond was a complete opposite to Sakura in bed and with shame again, Kankuro admitted Naruto's submissive mannerism made his heart beat faster. It was something Sakura could never do.

If only had it been someone like Naruto he had once married.

Except Naruto was poor and homeless and _a guy_ and instead of feeling proud to be seen with him, he felt the exact opposite: shame.

But it was only because of the gap between their social classes, right?

Kankuro had never been gay.

To be publicly associated with another man would be awkward yet he couldn't stop the desire that raced in his veins whenever the un-feminine blond would tremble under him in their master bedroom, on the thick mattress he shared with his wife whenever she happened to be home.

Instead of tormenting himself with denial he had come to accept that he was attracted to other men. He wasn't repulsed but actually very fond of having an intercourse with the same sex. And it just happened he felt no desire for his wife but to draw any permanent conclusions from that to determine his sexual orientation would be just unnecessary.

He was not gay.

But he dreamed of seeing blond in the morning, at every morning, sleepy and innocent by his side. And sometimes he went to an imaginary place in his head, a place where Sakura was nowhere around but instead he and Naruto shared a life.

But such delusions could never come true.

Divorcing her would make him lose his face and no doubt would she rob him clean of the little money he had managed to save while working. Even though he could easily get a rather nice apartment somewhere downtown, his possessions were like pocket money compared to the balance of her bank account.

With a tired sigh, Kankuro started to type a message to a certain blond, asking if he would be around on the 14th.

* * *

On a Friday morning, Gaara woke up to an empty apartment.

Along with the first rays of sunshine, images of last night flooded into his consciousness.

He shifted under the blanket, stopping all movement abruptly as pain shot through his body. He didn't remember everything that had happened but enough to make him ashamed. Using drugs was something he never did but last night he had been intoxicated to some level. He hadn't asked what it was the woman gave him because he had just wanted to forget his pitiful self for a while.

Talking with people online was easier than face to face. After a few days of chatting with a woman in her forties (or that's what her profile said), Gaara had let her into his apartment. Tsunade had tried to call him a day prior but he had let it ring.

He would admit it got sometimes lonely in here. No matter how much he loved solitude, evenings were long all alone.

A reason why he had turned down that woman from the office, Hinata, was her lack of confidence. It was obvious she would expect him to take the lead which was something he didn't enjoy doing. But last night he had been just a drugged, tied up receiver―a role he preferred over anything else.

And as long as he got the only thing he ever wanted out of these shameful encounters, he didn't care what else would be done to him.

Letting another person on his skin like that made him uncomfortably vulnerable, and he wasn't sure if he could do it while sober.

Limping, Gaara made his way to the bathroom.

He hated how they had soiled the sheets in Naruto's bed. Hold on. Where that strange thought had come from? Gaara shook his head in bafflement. After shower he felt a tiny bit better and managed to change the sheets. However, that small burst of energy didn't last long and so he slumped back to the bed.

He called in sick.

In his opinion getting whacked like this in the work week was utterly despicable yet here he was, suffering on the bed and wishing his existence would someday soon be finally erased.

He had imagined he cared for his work but apparently it was not true. Added to that, he admitted he wasn't as good as an employee as he had thought but at the same time, it all felt trivial. They would have to soon start looking for a substitute for him, anyway.

As he should've guessed, sometime in the forenoon Naruto sent him a message:

' _Why aren't you at work? Is everything alright?'_

Gaara grunted at his co-worker's concern and replied: _'I'm sick.'_

He hoped it would be left at that but of course around 5 P.M. Naruto bothered him with a phone call. He hated talking on the phone but picked it up nevertheless. Despite Gaara's efficient trying the blond managed to get his permission to pay him a visit.

To open the door with only a worn out T-shirt and boxers on was embarrassing enough for Gaara but he chose to not show his discomfort. He was just too damn miserable to change into something more appropriate.

Naruto's usual energetic aura didn't suit here at all. Gaara lay in the bed, his back turned to the room.

Sensing his mood, Naruto left him be and instead made himself useful around the place, washing laundry and making something to eat. But even the delicious aroma of vegetable soup and tea couldn't get Gaara out of the bed.

Not desponding, Naruto placed the tray on the little nightstand by the bed and sat down.

"So… Did the fever get you, too?" the blond smiled even though it had to be clear the redhead didn't have flu.

When no reply ever came, Naruto lay down on the bed behind his back. Gaara startled in surprise but the pain in his rear quickly forced him to his earlier position. Wordlessly, Naruto put his comforting arm around him and just held him.

In the end Gaara wasn't sure how long they stayed like that. Was this what friends did for each other? For someone skillful like Naruto, comforting others came naturally and nothing in his actions was unsuitable or out of place.

When dusk fell behind the windows, Naruto collected the untouched tray from the nightstand and washed the dishes. Gaara expected him to waste energy by asking if he could spend the night in here but instead the blond seemed to stay without usual hesitation.

Gaara knew he should move into the closet and hand over the bed to his guest. After Naruto arrived, his mood had slightly perked but even so, his thoughts still lingered in the murky depths so familiar to him. This night might be the last occasion Naruto would see him.

The thought made him sad but he couldn't express that sadness in any way.

Konoha River would be frozen soon if the weather forecast was to be trusted. Here in the warmth of his apartment it required effort to imagine the embrace of that freezing stream. His birthday was just around the corner and he would not stay around for another pointless year.

The mattress sunk as Naruto lay down behind his back. When his warm body slipped under the blanket, too, Gaara's breath hitched and he squeezed his side of the pillow unnoticeably. Arm came to rest around him again and Gaara closed his eyes, feeling unnecessary wetness pool behind his lids.

That warm hand slowly stroked his arm, soothing and comforting in a way nothing else could. Warm skin against his bare arm made him momentarily forget about the river, about the shame he had felt last night. Of course Naruto would be warm. He was the incarnate of the sun itself.

But even so, no sun could win against the dark depths of a freezing river.

Naruto's hand stopped on his biceps and then he yawned. Sleepily, he hooked his arm around Gaara again and leaned his forehead against the redhead's neck. Gaara tensed and wondered why that was until he remembered they had only one regular-sized pillow. After this realization he relaxed and listened to the soft snores that soon filled the air.

Somewhere along the hours of the night, Naruto's snoring got so loud Gaara woke up. Rather grouchily he nudged his friend with his elbow to quiet him down. Granted, the snoring stopped but before Gaara could rejoice about his master plan, a sleepy blond hooked him into his arms like he was some giant plushie.

Sure, it was now quiet again but Gaara couldn't tell if he preferred that over this awkward closeness.

 _Damned Uzumaki._

But when had it been the last time he had felt this warm in here? This homey, this safe?

Wetness began to pool in his eyes once again and furiously he blinked to prevent himself from tearing. If anything, he was acting unnecessarily emotional and if Naruto happened to wake up just now, he would get scared and find his way out sooner than Gaara could dry his eyes.

He didn't want Naruto to go, and the realization made his face twist as he tried to stop himself from crying.

Maybe it was the drug still affecting his system, or the dizziness caused by lack of proper nutrition, but his head felt strange. His _heart_ felt strange when his friend held him like this, as if the weight piled up in there over years was slowly dissolving into thin air.

A hitched sob escaped his lips and Naruto's unconscious hug tightened protectively. A calming hand found its way on Gaara's hair and clumsily soothed him, every once in a while stopping until continuing again.

How Naruto could be this comforting even on auto-pilot was a true mystery to Gaara, and with a wavering breath he closed his eyes. When they were like this, he longed for the river a little bit less, and the idea of erasing his disappointing existence seemed a tad more unwise.

Maybe it was safe to admit he didn't detest this kind of closeness in an exceptional situation like this.

Just maybe it was okay to relax some more and let go of his persistent, suicidal thoughts, at least for tonight.

Gaara adjusted himself a little more snugly into his sleeping friend's embrace, comforted by the knowledge that Naruto would never be any wiser of this momentary weakness he had allowed himself to show.

And hopefully in the morning, all these uncommon sensations would be dissolved like they never existed, just like sunlight would burn through these vividly black shadows that colored the room with their bottomless depth.

* * *

In the crepuscular room Naruto lay awake and quiet.

Mr. Sabaku was lightly snoring close by, his mouth comically agape like he had no care in the world. It made Naruto smile.

His red hair was messy and wild and it almost hid the large tattoo on his forehead. Those often so intimidating, black-rimmed eyes were now closed in a relaxed way Naruto had never seen them. It was clear there was something wrong with Gaara. If he was correct, the man was in pain but it was unclear what had caused it.

Very gently Naruto pulled the blanket all the way up to Gaara's chin. The sleepy redhead mumbled a line of incoherent syllables, until he rolled on to his side and clutched the front of Naruto's shirt like a clingy koala.

Naruto's breath hitched and he stared at the sweet sight.

Gaara snuggled closer and the movement must've hurt him, for his peaceful face twitched in pain.

He had noticed how he limped and concluded that Gaara had probably hurt his legs, but after some more observation he had come to a decision that the source of pain had to be elsewhere. As he quickly went through the list of possible causes his helpful brain teasingly stopped over one option and highlighted it for him.

Naruto scolded himself for coming up with unnecessary assumptions of what Gaara might've been doing. It was none of his business, and even thinking of things like that could be considered rude. In the darkened room, his cheeks burned. He really cared for Gaara and seeing him happy and balanced made his heart sing. But when he was gloomy and pained like last night, Naruto took it as his mission to help him.

Mr. Sabaku was known for his private nature and stubborn silence. Not even Naruto dared to enter certain areas that their usual conversations didn't cover. Lately Gaara had been more withdrawn than before and the focus in his eyes had dulled into a lack of concentration, like he was in a world of his own.

Naruto gave one last comforting pat on his friend's shoulder, hoping the redhead would be in a better mood when he woke up.

* * *

Loud rattle coming from the kitchen woke him up. Sleepily Naruto opened his eyes only to find he was alone in the bed.

From the sound of it, someone was not in a good mood and momentarily he felt sorry for the innocent cups and pans that were handled so forcefully over there.

With extra friendly manner Naruto walked to the kitchen and sat down at the table, smiling brightly like a million watt bulb. But it seemed this was all lost on Mr. Sabaku who grumpily offered him a plate of burnt porridge and a cup of suspiciously see-through coffee. Clearly this was not his day but Naruto decided to keep that notion to himself.

He noticed Mr. Sabaku was once again wearing his accustomed slacks and a dress shirt, no longer walking around in his tight T-shirt and boxers. The earlier relaxation Naruto had witnessed was not traceable on his stiff facial expression anymore.

Quietly Naruto wolfed down his breakfast and brought the dishes to the sink. The look on his friend's face told him he would better retreat and not even think of attending to any housework around the place. Not sure what particular thing had resulted Mr. Sabaku ending up in such a tight mood, Naruto deemed it best to go back to bed.

He took one of Gaara's books and lay down on the bed when somebody rang the doorbell.

Judging by the sudden silence around the apartment Gaara was surprised, too.

Naruto realized that his boxers and a worn excuse of a T-shirt were not something he wanted to be seen in, if that whoever would eventually make their way to the main room. But then the door was already opened and Naruto realized his sweatpants were in the duffel bag, which was conveniently sitting in the bathroom on top of the washing machine. There was no chance of getting them without being seen by Gaara's unannounced guest. Feeling shy, he pulled the blanket over himself to get some shelter.

"What are you doing in here?" Gaara asked.

"Just let me in," a man's voice said. It made Naruto perk his hearing.

"I'm busy at the moment, so state your business and leave," Gaara snapped all but kindly.

The man sighed, clearly not hearing such tone for the first time. "We're getting divorced."

"You can't stay here," Gaara replied and judging by the annoyed clank of a pan, he had made his way back to the kitchen.

"Please. Remember when you went through the same? Who was kind enough to accommodate you back then?" the man reminded.

"You have money, rent a place somewhere. Or go to a hotel," the redhead replied, clearly not interested in his guest's problems.

In the main room, hidden from the view of the two, Naruto squeezed the blanket. It had to be solely his imagination but didn't that voice sound suspiciously familiar?

"Fine but let me stay here for a couple of hours until I get some arrangements done," the man sighed and it threateningly sounded like he was coming to the main room.

And sure enough Naruto was soon face to face with a very familiar someone.

"Naruto?" the man asked and stopped in his tracks.

The blond in question sat up on the bed and stared at the brown haired man in front of him, "Kankuro?"

Out of nowhere Gaara emerged into the room, drying his hands on a kitchen towel. Ignoring his brother completely, Kankuro had only eyes for the blond.

"Naruto," he breathed and sat down on the bed. He squeezed the blond's hands as if confirming he really existed.

"I was about to call you. We're getting divorced, isn't that great? You and I can finally get a place of our own."

The blond wasn't sure how to respond for he was shocked to be put into a spotlight like that. Behind Kankuro's back, Mr. Sabaku stood with an unreadable expression on his face.

"I'm going to look for an apartment today," Kankuro said and kissed him on the lips.

Naruto was too shocked to do anything but let it happen. Brilliant blush exploded on his cheeks and he was sure it was visible all the way to the moon. He couldn't explain to himself why he felt so embarrassed by the situation, or why he was so concerned of what Gaara might be thinking.

But when the brunet stayed by his side, caressing his hair and mumbling something about their shared future, Naruto noticed Gaara leaving the room.

"We're brothers," Kankuro explained.

Naruto nodded but then frowned, "Does that mean your original surname is Sabaku, too?"

"Yeah. But when I married her, I took her name. I guess I'll be Sabaku soon again, heh," Kankuro told, until he finally seemed to realize the scarceness of Naruto's clothes and the fact that he was lounging on Gaara's bed.

"How do you know each other?"

"We work at the same office," the blond clarified. "He's my friend."

"Oh," Kankuro understood but soon seemed to dismiss the idea altogether, "You know, this morning was the first in years I felt truly happy."

It surprised Naruto how lightly he seemed to take his situation. "You don't seem too broken about losing her."

"I can do anything when I have you by my side," Kankuro confessed and smiled.

Naruto smiled feebly back. He hadn't believed the other man really felt that way about him. All this time, he had deemed his declarations of affection as something shallow to keep him coming to his place. He had never believed Kankuro would actually divorce his wife.

"She has somebody else," the brunet whispered.

To the horrid look on Naruto's face Kankuro only waved his hand in a dismissive way, "It's alright. These things happen. And as you know, it's not like I was faithful to her, either."

Naruto knew it all too well. And even though Gaara was nowhere to be seen, he was positive their hushed conversation was audible to the kitchen.

To suddenly find out your friend slash co-worker was actually an extramarital lover of your own brother was perhaps not something that happened every day. Under the surface, Naruto worried how Gaara would take it.

"But as a silver lining, she has no idea of our little rendezvous. And as long as possible, I plan on keeping up the role of a betrayed husband," Kankuro explained.

"Do you mean there's no one else besides me?" Naruto asked quietly. From the very beginning he had not even once believed he would be the only lover this man had.

"Of course Naruto. Haven't I told you that enough times?"

He had, but Naruto had never believed him. If this man's words were really to be trusted, he felt awful for doubting him.

"We can't really be seen in public in a romantic sense, you understand?" Kankuro said with an apologetic voice, "But as soon as I get a place of my own, nothing prevents you from moving in with me."

"How convenient," Naruto said nervously and let the man kiss him again.

Deafening silence fell all over the apartment.

* * *

Reluctantly Gaara made some more coffee for the three of them as the brunet didn't get the hint and leave.

In the main room, Gaara now stood next to the window, his attention rather on the piles of books than on the unexpected lovers sitting on his bed.

Cool air streamed feebly from between the window frames and the sensation felt oddly calming. He was reminded of the river again but at the same time, memory of Naruto's comforting hug disturbed his plans. When the blond excused himself and went to take a shower, Gaara was left alone with his brother.

"I didn't know you had an affair going on," the redhead said, "Or that you were gay."

"I'm not gay," Kankuro corrected quickly. "I might not be completely heterosexual but I'm not gay either."

"I thought you could only be either or the other," Gaara said, unnoticeably bringing his hand to the cool stream of air.

"Nah, that's not true. I guess most people are something in between to a different degree, though," Kankuro mused, not sounding particularly interested in labeling himself or the others.

"So you are offering Naruto a place to live in, then?" Gaara asked.

A content smile took over Kankuro's face, "Yeah."

"That's good," he replied automatically, not sure what he felt behind those words. The cool window soothed his heated forehead as he leaned against it, eyes closed. Behind his back, Kankuro hummed happily.

"Mom said dad is drinking again," Gaara told.

The cheery humming stopped.

"Aw man why did you have to tell me something like that? I don't want to know," Kankuro sighed in annoyance.

By himself, Gaara smirked. "I thought we were to inform each other in these cases."

"Screw that. You can leave me out of that," the brunet huffed and buried his head in his hands.

Along with tropical steam, Naruto came out of the bathroom. He smelled of "Super Steel" again but this time Gaara couldn't bring himself to feel offended by the obnoxious scent.

"Well, I better get going," Kankuro announced and left his coffee cup on the table. "Do you want a ride somewhere, Naruto?"

"Um, no thanks," the blond said quietly, folding some of his clothes into the duffel bag he had brought along. "I'll call you."

"Alright," Kankuro said good-heartedly and left with a wide smile.

But Naruto couldn't bring himself to feel the same, at least not now. He had noticed the odd way Gaara was leaning against the window but in an atmosphere like this, he didn't dare to ask what was wrong.

"Hey, why don't I cook us ramen tonight?" he asked, forcing some confidence into his voice.

Gaara leaned away from the window. "I'm afraid I have other plans for today."

"Oh, that's alright. But it's kind of a shame, really, because I was looking forward to spending the day with you," Naruto chatted while making the bed. "They said the river is going to freeze today. I'd like to go and see it. It's beautiful at this time of the year."

Gaara turned to look at him in surprise. "Well… Alright."

"Yosh, it's settled then," Naruto smiled widely, rivaling with the bright beams of sunlight.

* * *

Naruto and Gaara walked on the bridge, admiring the river that was slowly chained by ice.

Gaara sipped his warm take-away coffee while Naruto licked his ice cream. The blond smiled by himself as he recalled the unbelieving look on Gaara's face when he had purchased this little treat. Eating ice cream in the middle of winter was indeed something uncommon.

"It's beautiful in here," Naruto pointed out as they leaned on the balustrade of the bridge.

"Yes, it is," Gaara admitted with sorrow in his voice.

"Every year someone tries to commit suicide by jumping off the bridge. I'm glad this year it hasn't happened yet," Naruto commented and took a bite of his ice cream.

The redhead didn't reply, just gazed longingly into the water. Naruto put on a smile and stepped closer.

"Here. Do you want to taste this?" he draped his cone to him.

"I don't know," Gaara said while glancing at the green ball of goody with suspicion. "Pear is not my favorite."

"Well, it's your loss then," the blond shrugged and started leading them along the bridge, to the other side.

It was a week until Christmas. Ground was white with snow and the store windows were decorated with blinking lights and reindeers.

"What are you going to do on Christmas?" Naruto asked.

The odd, saddened aura seemed to persistently hover above his red haired friend, "Nothing much."

"Are you going to see your family?" the blond asked.

"No," the redhead said right away.

"Me neither," Naruto told casually.

Gaara spared him a weird glance, "Because your parents are dead."

"Yeah, because they're dead," Naruto repeated and fell silent after that.

After they had walked for a good while along the river, Naruto's ice cream long ago eaten, they stopped in front a display window. Elves with their beloved Santa Claus managed to capture their admiration for a moment.

"You know, I have to admit something," Naruto started good-heartedly.

When Gaara turned to look at him, the blond kept his attention on the Christmas decorations.

"I was looking forward to spending the Christmas with you. I even got you a present already."

Gaara couldn't believe his ears, "A present?"

"Don't tell me you haven't gotten me one yet," Naruto only replied with a wink.

"Christmas is nothing but a celebration of materialism," Gaara huffed but the positive surprise on his face didn't completely wear off. It made Naruto smile.

"You're right. But the magic of this season is to spend time with your friends and family. And since neither of us seems to have any other plans, I think we should celebrate it together," the blond reasoned.

"I thought you were going to be with Kankuro," Gaara said and sounded a bit sad.

"Nah, I'm pretty sure he'll be busy with other things," Naruto avoided the subject the best he could.

A comfortable silence fell over them again and they slowly made their way back to the bridge. In the middle, Gaara stopped abruptly.

"What did you get me for a present?"

"It won't be a surprise if I tell you," Naruto chuckled.

Gaara let the matter be for now. Walking together like this made Naruto happy, as if there was no care in the world. The way snow landed on Gaara's red hair was sort of cute. It really toned down the familiar stern expression on his face.

 _Wait a second. Cute?_

Naruto chuckled by himself. There was certainly no logic in his thoughts these days.

* * *

Later in the afternoon they were sitting at a small diner.

Apathetically Gaara held a French fry in his hand and poked it into a pile of ketchup that lay on his plate. Naruto sat across of him, his jacket casually open while he shoveled his hamburger into his mouth so hungrily Gaara was afraid he'd choke.

"Honestly, Naruto…"

The blond gulped and then wiped his face on a napkin. "Sorry. Hey, um. Can I ask you something?"

Now Gaara was surprised. He tossed his fry away. "What is it?"

"Correct me if I'm wrong but lately you've been acting gloomier than usually. Is everything alright?"

Naruto's concern was almost heart-warming. Gaara picked up his fry again and smeared it lazily on the ketchup.

"I'm fine, Naruto."

"But are you, though? Or is that just something you say in order to get me off your back? 'Cause if it's about that, it's not going to work."

Before Gaara could say anything more to shut him up, Naruto had already stood up and walked to his side of the table. He sat down next to Gaara with a look of deep concern on his face.

"You're barely eating. With no offense, you look damn tired, Gaara. And what was with the sudden grumpiness in the morning? What was wrong with you _last night_?"

Gaara abandoned his fry again and wiped his salty fingers on a napkin. He was in no mood to talk about what was going on in his mind.

"What's with you sticking your nose into my business?"

That got his friend to shut up. Bittersweetly content, Gaara bathed in his victory but the sense of cleverness soon faded when he noticed the hurt look on Naruto's face.

Ouch.

Maybe he had gone too far?

"I'm―"

"You've got to eat, you know?" the blond cut in with mild nervousness. He picked up a lone fry and held it in his hands like he was showcasing it to Gaara. "Look at this. Don't you want to have it? It's delicious."

"Naruto… I didn't―"

"When I was a kid, I was one goddamned picky eater," the blond interrupted again. Like no error of communication had ever happened between them, he chuckled, "Dad used to coax me into eating in so many ways I can't even remember."

It was hard to imagine Naruto ever needing to be coaxed to eat, Gaara noted a bit wryly by himself.

"Look, here comes a plane," Naruto started in a fatherly voice and flew the French fry in the air with round movements, very much like he was encouraging a child to eat.

"Stop," Gaara ordered albeit he could feel a smile coming up just because of the silly tone his friend had used.

"Only if you eat it. Come on," the blond coaxed and the French fry turned-plane circled near Gaara's mouth, trying its best to catch the reluctant redhead's interest.

"People are looking at us," Gaara noticed and the notion not only made him embarrassed but also humored him, too. It was a strange combination of emotions only Naruto was able to coax out of him.

"Don't mind about them. They aren't important," the blond whispered in his ear and a chill ran up Gaara's spine. "The only person here I care about is you."

"Would you please stop goofing around," the redhead muttered self-consciously and glanced around. "Even the kids are looking at us."

Yes, even the actual children who were dining here with their parents had now turned their curious attention on the two of them. Naruto let out an unashamed chuckle and popped the fry into his mouth. He munched on it way too happily.

"Why are the kids still staring at us?" Gaara asked with a lowered voice.

"They're kids, that's what they do. Children are weird like that. Stop paying them attention and they'll find something more interesting soon," Naruto assured casually.

There was still mayonnaise on his cheek, and his goofy grin only emphasized the detail. Absurd moments like these were only possible with someone like Naruto around. When the general attention of other customers wasn't directed at them anymore, Gaara picked up his napkin and wiped away the stain from his friend's cheek.

Azure eyes darkened a shade or two, and something in the atmosphere changed. With his friendliest smile, Naruto rested his arm on the backside of Gaara's seat and leaned closer.

The redhead looked away, not sure how to read such a gesture. He could feel several pairs of eyes on them, yet even stronger than his embarrassment, was the nervous energy that buzzed in his guts. Warmth was spreading inside Gaara's chest, hidden behind the layers of clothes under his thick woolen coat.

Not letting the heat get to his cheeks, he pulled himself together and met Naruto's azure gaze again with calm coolness―which faltered instantly when his friend touched his face and rubbed his thumb gently against his cheek.

"You had salt in there," Naruto offered as an explanation.

 _Oh._

And the heat escaped to Gaara's face, coloring his cheeks pink.

 _Damned Uzumaki._

On the seat next to him, said blond smiled widely and kept on eating the left-over fries. But that flirty look in his mischievous, blue eyes had to be just a part of this goofy joke between them―right?

* * *

 **A/N:** _I agonized over the scene where Naruto and Kankuro's little affair was revealed. I wrote it in three different ways, but only this version felt correct. I wanted there to be drama, but Gaara is not yet ready to act dramatic. The drama comes in future chapters._

 _The next chapter is all about Naruto and Gaara's Christmas holiday, hehe. :3_


	6. I'm Not Curious About Homosexuality, But

**A/N:** _Hey and thank you all for your awesome support! I am literally speechless! My mind is blown! 3_

 _This story has a slow pace (I hope it's okay to you guys) and there will be 12-13 chapters in total. But I try to squeeze in as many NaruGaa ~moments~ as possible! ;)_

 _This chapter is all about fluff I guess, and I hope it isn't too cheesy or anything. ^^'_

* * *

 **Chapter 6: I'm Not Curious About Homosexuality, But…**

To the blond's obvious joy and to Gaara's indifference, it was finally Christmas.

The office was closed for the next week or so and like previously planned Naruto was staying the holidays with his friend. They would be returning to work on January 2nd, which generously gave them nine vacation days, starting from the December 24th. The Konoha River had finally frozen over and on the television they had seen people ice skating there under multi-colored Christmas lights.

To Gaara all this fussing seemed unnecessary but knowing how much Naruto seemed to mind about the season, he chose to keep his opinion to himself. He was going back home with two full grocery bags in hands. They now had ingredients enough to last until spring―or maybe just until next week, given the blond's appetite.

When he entered his apartment he had to double-check if he was really in the right address. The lights had been dimmed down, Christmas songs carried softly from the speaker of Naruto's phone, and maybe twenty candles had been lit all over the main room. The television was on but muted, and an old, black and white movie was playing.

A scent of gingersnaps taken out of the oven carried to his nose. Naruto accepted the groceries with a warm smile. That little apron around his waist looked ridiculous in Gaara's opinion. Discreetly, he snatched one gingersnap from the baking tray and slid into the main room.

Soon Naruto came there too, carrying a tray with more gingersnaps and two mugs of hot mulled wine.

"You're overdoing this," Gaara said, gesturing around the room. For all he knew, this place now resembled the shop windows with an eerie accuracy. Only the cringeworthy elves and a replica of Santa Claus were missing.

"I just wanted to make this special," Naruto explained and turned off the muted TV. Somewhere in the corner, his phone faithfully repeated evergreen Christmas songs.

The gingersnaps were good, Gaara admitted in his thoughts and ate maybe a few more than he had originally intended. The ramen Naruto cooked for dinner wasn't bad either. Without much surprise Gaara found himself going for seconds on that, too.

As night fell darker, the candles' soft light gained more power over the room. Never before had his home felt this atmospheric, Gaara admitted and decided Naruto's touch here and there wasn't necessarily a bad thing. When the blond retreated into the kitchen to wash the dishes, Gaara remained alone in the main room.

The endless stream of melodies got suddenly interrupted when somebody called to the blond's phone. Gaara glanced at the caller ID and then took the phone to Naruto.

"It says your mom is calling," he only said and put it on the kitchen table.

After a while, Naruto came back to the main room, head hung and his azure eyes dark and sad. The call hadn't lasted very long.

"I thought your family was dead," Gaara only said without looking at the blond.

"I know. They're not," Naruto confessed and sat down on the floor next to him.

"Why did you lie about it?" the redhead asked. He wasn't upset, just surprised.

The sorrowful look on Naruto's face only deepened. "It's easier that way. We don't really get along."

"Why is that?" Gaara asked, wondering if it was alright to pry.

"During my last year of college, they kicked me out when they found out I was gay," the blond admitted and hugged his knees.

"Oh," was all Gaara could say. He looked at his friend apologetically. "That's awful."

"It's not their fault," Naruto tried to cheer him up. "I don't want you to think badly of them. They're nice people, just not very accustomed to certain things."

Gaara turned to look at him concernedly. "Have you been homeless ever since?"

"More or less," Naruto admitted. The subject was obviously painful for him, given how he pulled his knees closer to his body.

"I didn't know you were gay. Not at least until my brother showed up in here," Gaara told, wondering why he was bringing it up now. This was a topic that didn't need to be discussed in his opinion, yet still he had let those words slip.

"Does it bother you that I am?" Naruto asked unsurely, staring at some far-away point across the room.

"No. I don't care about things like that," the redhead told. "I just never thought that you and my brother…"

"Haha, I know. World is a strange place, isn't it?" Naruto laughed hollowly. "Would you like some more mulled wine?"

Before Gaara could reply, the blond had already dashed into the kitchen. There were no cheery Christmas songs in the air anymore, as Naruto had turned them down after the unexpected phone call. It was strangely silent, like the whole city had disappeared around them.

Naruto emerged with two hot mugs and they sipped their drinks in silence. Gaara felt sympathy for his friend. Obviously he led a hard life and how he had found the energy to conjure such a pleasant atmosphere into this trap of an apartment was beyond Gaara.

"I got you a present, too," the redhead suddenly said, feeling a little self-conscious.

The silence on Naruto's part was filled with surprise and rather awkwardly Gaara got up to fetch his gift. He draped a small packet to his friend. Naruto held it in awe, gently tracing the little ribbon on top.

"Oh come on, open it up already," Gaara growled frustratedly.

"T-Thank you so much," Naruto stuttered and pulled the string apart. Gently he tore away the paper it was wrapped in.

Gaara tensed while he was anticipating the blond's reaction. When he had wandered around the stores in search for a suitable gift he had realized he didn't know much about Naruto after all. He had no idea what his interests or hobbies were, except ramen of course, nor did he know what kind of gift cards he preferred.

Naruto stared at the little deep blue box. Curiously he opened it and gasped.

"What is this?" he asked and lifted up an azure crystal that seemed to be a… necklace?

Gaara felt his cheeks getting hot. There was no doubt his gift was stupid. The amused glint in the blond's eyes was proof enough of that.

He had already spent hours in the city, trying to find suitable gift for his friend. On the verge of giving up he had spotted something on a display window: crystal as cerulean as Naruto's eyes. Gaara had been instantly drawn to it.

"The shopkeeper said it's a crystal that will make your dreams come true," Gaara explained only to realize how cheesy he sounded. He wanted to die right then.

But Naruto grinned widely and put the necklace around his neck. He held it close to his face and in the soft light of candles it looked like its shine rivaled with his deep blue eyes. Gaara took a gulp of his drink to dilute his embarrassment.

"Thank you, Gaara. I think this is beautiful." His words were slow and measured and if Gaara heard it right, his voice wavered a bit in the end.

But it seemed the blond got over his emotional state soon, and in no time he was back to his goofy old self. "I have something for you, too!"

The redhead was thankful to see him so energetic again. When the blond returned with a gift bag, Gaara's sense of shame finally vanished.

"Here. Merry Christmas," Naruto grinned and his eyes narrowed into happy half-moons.

Gaara peeked into the bag. There were two packets. He took out the other one and started to slowly tear the paper away. What came to view was something he could have never guessed.

"It's great, isn't it?" Naruto smiled knowingly.

Gaara stared at the picture frame in his hand. There, behind polished glass was a picture of him and Naruto.

"Remember that day when we were photographed to the local newspaper? Lee from marketing pulled some strings and managed to get a copy of the original," Naruto explained.

In a strangely heart-warming way, it was a wonderful gift. Gaara remembered that day and how Naruto had sneaked to stand right next to him even though he was supposed to sit in the front. In the photo, a blond man smiled mischievously to the camera while a red haired, somber man stood right next to him.

Gaara was at a loss for words. "Thank you."

"Hehe, I knew you'd appreciate it. Now open the other one, I think it's even better," Naruto chuckled.

Excitedly Gaara took out the other gift from the bag and began to unwrap it. As the paper slowly came off, a sense of dread overcame him.

"Naruto…" he said, his nonexistent brow twitching as he stared at the not one _but three_ bottles of "Power Energy" soap. His nose sniffed the air and confirmed his worst fears.

"Just the other day I noticed you were looking at my soap in the bathroom. I figured it must be something you like, so I bought you three of them," Naruto explained eagerly to Gaara's horror.

"Er… Thank you very much," the redhead said, biting his lip. He hid the awful-smelling soap bottles in the bathroom cabinet but the photo frame he placed on the coffee table for the whole world to see.

* * *

Along with the sure-to-come scent of that hideous soap, Naruto strolled out of the bathroom with only a towel around his waist. He was drying his wet hair on another towel, smiling to nothing in particular.

The azure crystal was hanging between his pecs, competing with the glint in his kind eyes.

When a drop of water slid down along his tanned chest, Gaara turned his head away in silent annoyance. That smell of the soap was completely inappropriate.

"What are you reading?" Naruto asked and sat down beside him.

Gaara glanced at him briefly, not really appreciating his lack of clothing. He just hoped the carefree blond wouldn't accidentally flash him his… parts, given how that poor towel was barely holding the knot it was twisted into.

"Just a biography of this inventor," Gaara mumbled and showed him the front cover. In his peripheral vision, he saw Naruto's tanned skin shining in the soft light. The scent of him was harassing his senses and briefly he wondered if he should stand up and leave.

But Naruto put his arm around his shoulder. "They told me this was very well written," he knew and tried to see the back cover.

Gaara gave him the book altogether and the blond released his hold, reading intently the words printed on the back. A shiver ran down Gaara's spine for an unknown reason. He glanced at the numerous candles, wondering if they should put them out.

"Maybe we should call it a night," Gaara suggested, keeping his gaze at some far-away spot.

Naruto leaned closer, he could sense it, and along with him a whiff of his soap traveled to Gaara's nose. No matter how hard he concentrated, it was more difficult this time to ignore that scent. With a grumpy glare, he turned to his friend, only to notice the blond was friendlily draping his book back to him.

Without a thank you, Gaara snatched the book and vanished into the bathroom to change on his pajamas.

When he came out, Naruto had thankfully changed into his accustomed T-shirt and boxers. The candles were put out and it was only now Gaara noticed a reindeer-shaped lamp sitting in the corner. Its warm light illuminated the main room and created a rather cozy atmosphere.

What an unnecessary decoration, Gaara decided as he glared at the object with distaste. Naruto lay on the bed, reading a book and like the carefree person he was, hadn't obviously noticed how his shirt revealed a glimpse of his stomach.

 _He's way too laid back._

With a shake of his head, Gaara locked himself in the closet.

* * *

The next day Gaara and Naruto were wandering along the streets, taking in the calm holiday spirit that had descended over their city.

An indoor ice rink advertised its presence with blinking Christmas lights which horribly enough flashed in an erratic rhythm in three different colors. Gaara shuddered at the distasteful decorations but to his horror, Naruto seemed to take interest in the place.

"Hey. Do you think we should go there?"

The arrhythmic flashes of red, green, blue colored Naruto's face each in turn, and Gaara stared at him a moment longer than he had planned.

Red, green, blue. And bottomless azure staring at him, waiting.

Eventually, he agreed.

With rented skates, the two of them launched themselves on the ice―Naruto more confidently than Gaara, who moved forward with calculated slides.

A handful of other people occupied the rink: a family of four, two young women, a gang of three middle-aged ladies and a few teenagers finding more entertainment from their phones than anything else.

"I used to play hockey until high school," Naruto told and glided on the cool surface like a swan. The attention of the young women lingered momentarily on him.

"Why did you stop?" Gaara asked as he followed him with much less grace. A snicker from the other side of the rink made him wonder if the teenagers had noticed him.

"I was bullied. But I told my parents I wanted to try martial arts instead. Dad was not happy," Naruto told with an air of dimmed nostalgia.

"I was into watching plays when I still lived home," Gaara told, unsure how much he wanted to reveal of his life of that time. "Kankuro was in every imaginable amateur theatre production there was in our district, and whenever I could, I tagged along in the rehearsals, too."

"Did you ever want to become an actor?" Naruto asked.

"No."

"What was your favorite play, then?" the blond inquired.

Gaara shrugged. "I don't know."

"You don't know? But didn't you say watching plays was your hobby?"

Gaara's slide on the ice grew slower and slower as he didn't push more speed into his movement.

"I just wanted to get away from home, okay?"

"Oh. Okay," Naruto understood. He made effortless loops on the ice, his every move seamless parts of one another.

Gaara pushed himself into movement with a lax kick that didn't get him very far. When he eventually stopped again, it felt like a fitting metaphor for his whole life. But before he could hop in the train of depressed thoughts, Naruto braked right next to him with his skates screeching.

"May I have your hand?" the blond asked oddly formally and held out his palm politely.

A little skeptically, Gaara placed his hand on Naruto's. Warm fingers squeezed his freezing skin confidently, and then Naruto took his other hand, too, holding him at arm's length. He started to slowly skate backwards, dragging Gaara along like an inverted train.

"Move your hips like this," Naruto showed and his skates made wavy lines now.

Gaara followed his example, albeit cautiously, for he feared he'd only end up face first against the ice. But the warm, tight grip on his hands felt like a promise that nothing bad would happen to him. Naruto's face was bright like the sun itself, radiating beams everywhere and penetrating even the thickest of walls Gaara had built.

Slowly but surely Gaara relaxed and his movements turned smoother. They skated like that for some time, until Naruto's hips stopped pushing him into movement and their slide just slowly stopped. A part of Gaara was afraid his friend would let go, for in this relatively short time he had grown accustomed to his warmth. But his fear turned out groundless, as Naruto pulled him closer, never letting go.

"How did you like that?"

Naruto's voice was cool and warm at the same time, husky like fog over a meadow, and it went well with the healthy redness on his cheeks.

"It was nice," Gaara deemed was safe to admit. Naruto squeezed his hands and his smile threatened to melt the ice around them.

"Now you lead us," the blond suggested and the redhead had no heart to refuse. Clumsily he launched himself into movement, gaining assurance from his friend's protective hold, and soon letting go of the embarrassment which sparked whenever he noticed Naruto glancing at his moving hips.

They skated together like that, more or less graciously sliding on the ice like opposite poles linked together. When Naruto was holding him and making sure he wouldn't fall over, Gaara felt confident enough to add more speed and flexibility into his movements. That happy, whiskered face and those blue pools of warmest energy were like fuel to Gaara and for a sweet, short moment he forgot the home he had come from, and the darkened horizon he was heading at.

Right now the beginning and the ending of his life didn't matter, and his personal despair had muffled into a dull drumming in the back of his mind. All the hours spent as a refugee at the rehearsals didn't matter, or how bored he had been, not only then but countless other times, too.

Nothing mattered but Naruto, in this fleeting, deceiving moment.

"Hey," the blond said excitedly, "Have you ever waltzed on ice?"

"No."

"Well, there's a first time for everything, right?" Naruto shrugged and now he was so very close again. "Would you like to?"

"I don't know…" Gaara hesitated, counting the people who would undoubtedly witness it. "There are so many people here."

"Are you afraid of what they might think?" Naruto asked.

"In a way, yes," Gaara admitted, but when he said it aloud, it started to sound stupid.

"It doesn't matter what they think," Naruto replied. "Most likely they won't even look at our way. And I promise you that I won't embarrass you by tripping us over, if that's what you're afraid of."

"It's not that," Gaara corrected but instantly realized what he had just come to reveal. He wasn't afraid of humiliation, but the alleged prejudices of other people. "I mean…"

The grin on Naruto face was just too wide to be innocent, and he chuckled amusedly. He placed his hand on Gaara's waist and pulled him closer, as if they were about to dance. Then, he leaned down to whisper in his ear, "Oh Gaara. They won't mind, I promise. It's not like we were boyfriends or anything."

Thanks to those husky words, Gaara's movements lost the little smoothness they had when they began to waltz. He did not know how to dance or move to make it look like even distantly graceful. But Naruto's steady hold on him guided them through the motions with admirable ease.

No one seemed to be paying them any attention―except the two young women.

Just when Gaara began to feel relaxed enough in Naruto's arms, a girly voice interrupted their waltz.

"Excuse me," the young woman asked politely. "You two seem to be pretty good. Would you guys like to skate with us?"

Gaara stiffened in Naruto's arms and at the same time, the blond's hold on his waist tightened. But none of that tension was readable on his sunny face.

"Thank you for noticing our amazing skills," Naruto said with an ice-melting smile. "But I'm not sure if we work so well with other people."

"Are you sure? What about your friend?" the other woman asked, looking at Gaara.

But Naruto replied for the both of them. "I think I want to keep him to myself, with no offense." And then he chuckled relaxedly and the women started to laugh, too. A brief conversation of holiday activities and Christmas in general was launched between the three.

Gaara remained silent and studied the excellence Naruto sailed in the sea of little polite remarks and humorous quips. It was no wonder he got along with people so well, a skill Gaara could only dream of. All along his friend kept on holding him by the waist like they were still in mid-dance, and Gaara wished he'd just let him go.

But no.

In fear of being dragged into the conversation he stayed silent and waited for the women to leave. After two and a half minutes―in which Naruto managed to subtly compliment not only their appearances but their notable skating skills, too―it was time for mutual wishes of 'Merry Christmas' before the women waved them goodbye.

Looking at their retreating backs, Gaara visibly relaxed and let out a sigh.

Naruto gazed at him gently, but soon masked it into a generic grin.

"You were afraid you'd end up skating with them," the blond knew and Gaara wanted to deny this completely accurate notion.

"Don't worry," Naruto assured, and then his whispery voice was ghosting near Gaara's ear again, "I won't let anything like that happen."

And then they were waltzing again, albeit slower this time, and Gaara wanted to say that this kind of closeness was making him uncomfortable, but it was not really true. If anything, he felt safe and protected and the more he allowed himself to relax, the less he thought about the other skaters and their possible opinions of them.

They were just friends. And this was what friends did.

* * *

It was the evening of the fourth day of their shared holiday.

In the bathroom, Gaara couldn't get enough of the hot water. The moment his skin met with the room temperature, he shivered and tried to squeeze himself under the shower.

The scent of Naruto's soap lingered in the bathroom and with his chilliest glare he stared down the innocent-looking bottle that tried its best to ruin his shower experience. To his horror, he was getting used to it.

Clad in his thick pajamas, Gaara emerged from the bathroom, drying his hair on a towel. Naruto was lounging around in his oversized T-shirt and orange boxers, how else, and seemed oblivious about the drop in the temperature.

The moment he noticed Gaara approaching, a welcoming smile spread to his face. "Hey, how about something warm to drink?"

Without really waiting for his reply, the blond hopped into the kitchen with a happy hum.

Gaara shook his head in amusement even though he was now alone in the main room and knew the blond couldn't see his gesture. The floor was cold and claiming his accustomed spot in the middle of the room was out of question. Tentatively, he sat down on the bed.

Eventually Naruto came back with two mugs of hot mulled wine.

Nearly muted television offered them entertainment in the otherwise silent room. The Rudolf turned-lamp sat obediently in the corner, shining its soft light all over the room. Candles were lit here and there and snowflakes made out of paper were taped on the window.

Amidst these unnecessary decorations, Gaara felt absolutely cozy.

"Only five more days left," Naruto said quietly.

"Hmm. Days have passed quickly," the redhead noticed.

They had visited their local museum and tried out a surprisingly tidy bowling hall in the neighborhood. Naruto's craving for ice cream hadn't ceased and when Gaara had asked if he ever felt cold, the blond had only shrugged and told him he was too used to it.

Even now it made Gaara sad. He sipped his drink jus to drive away the weight of those words.

"Are you up for another movie?" Naruto asked.

Gaara rubbed his sore back. Sitting on the bed and leaning against the headboard was taking its toll. But it seemed his friend noticed his problem.

"Hey, come here," the blond called kindly and placed a pillow against his chest. "Back is the Achilles heel of every office worker. Let it rest."

Gaara evaluated the offered space. Leaning against the pillow―which was leaning against Naruto― felt a bit more than what he might be comfortable with. But as he looked at his friend who was munching handfuls of buttery popcorn while watching the opening credits of the movie, he understood that it was just Naruto's goofy, kind nature.

Silently, Gaara leaned his backside against his friend's chest, finding the soft pillow between them much more merciful than the hard headboard. Naruto's legs rested on either side of him like protective little hedges. Naruto was as warm as the sun. Even so, Gaara pulled the blanket over himself, leaving Naruto's feet on the outside.

The munching of popcorns was even louder up this close and it made Gaara long for his earplugs. Buttery fingers swiped against the blanket casually and when Naruto coughed Gaara was sure some bits of half-eaten popcorn flew his way.

And it seemed his concern was not completely unfounded as Naruto suddenly ruffled his red hair with a mumbled 'sorry'.

Gaara sighed but couldn't hide his amusement. Only Naruto Uzumaki could be as pig-like and friendly at the same time.

Naruto's fingers searched for some more crumbs from his scalp but before he withdrew his hand, his fingers smoothed the top of his head. Most likely he was just trying to return his hairstyle back to normal. It was a rather nice feeling Gaara decided and relaxed a bit more.

Throughout the movie Naruto's fingers came to sweep against his hair. Gaara closed his eyes momentarily and studied the feeling. It was nice. Then again, it could be Naruto was only wiping his greasy fingers on his scalp. The idea made him open his eyes into a glare.

He glared at the TV screen until the soothing touch once again relaxed his expression into that of contentment.

Maybe he was a little sleepy. Christmas had never felt this eventful in his life. Maybe now he could understand a little better those people who fussed over the season.

But even so… the Rudolf in the corner was absolutely tacky.

With that thought in mind Gaara fell asleep.

* * *

The pulsing hum of the city beneath the window told him the Christmas holidays were almost over. The last few days the streets had been peaceful like every year this time. People stayed at home rather than sought out activities but now there was a clear change in the air.

Deep in the warmth of his apartment, Gaara lay under the blanket and breathed in the peace that was wrapped around the place.

Next to him his friend slept soundlessly. When Gaara realized he was the only one awake, a wave of self-consciousness washed over him. He had fallen asleep last night and that was why he now lay here, rather than in the privacy of his closet.

He wondered if Naruto minded about it.

Given how the blond had hogged three quarters of the bed for himself, it didn't look likely.

Was there a crumb of popcorn on Naruto's cheek? Gaara couldn't hide his amusement. How on earth was that little piece of food still stuck on him?

Naruto's friendliness was warm and overpowering and it was impossible to be shielded from it. His yellow light shone to every heart he met, filling them up to the brim. On a rocky cliff Naruto was like a lighthouse, aiming his luminous searchlight for ships in need.

And sometimes, Gaara felt like a boat in waves.

And he couldn't stay unaffected by Naruto's friendliness.

Only when Naruto showed signs of waking up, did Gaara get out of the bed. Before the blond's sleepy blue eyes had a chance of focusing on him, he was already in the kitchen.

* * *

Later on Naruto woke up to the rich scent of freshly brewed coffee. The aroma was like a strong hand that gripped him on the front and pulled him standing, determinedly dragging him to the kitchen.

The journey from one room to another felt like a dream, like he was sailing on the border of imagination and reality. He saw Gaara standing by the stove, his back turned to the room, and when he turned around to give Naruto a hasty 'Good morning', Naruto expected to be greeted with the usual stern marks of irritation on his face.

But this morning, his face was ridded of usual tiredness, void of all the tightness that scrunched up his face into a permanent expression of grumpiness. Gaara looked relaxed and rested. Could this all be just part of a dream he was unconsciously trapped into?

"Um… G-Good morning," Naruto stuttered in shock and quickly immersed himself in his coffee that definitely tasted just as heavenly as the aroma had promised.

"Are you excited to move in with Kankuro?"

The question was just as surprising as it was to witness Gaara's lively mood in the early hours of the day.

"Yeah, I'm pretty excited."

 _Not really._

Gaara was drying a glass with a kitchen towel, holding it against the light to see if it was clean. His movements were measured to a point he seemed downright hesitant.

"You can soon say goodbye to your homeless days."

"That's true," Naruto agreed and tried to put as much excitement into his voice as possible. However, he sounded factual at best.

"You do know you don't have to move in with him, if it's something you don't want to do."

"I _want_ to move in with him," Naruto said defensively like he had just been caught lying, and clanked his coffee cup on the table. "It's something we have been planning for a long time now."

 _Wow. Where did that come from?_

"That's good. I didn't mean to question you. I only wanted to remind you that there are other options―"

"Like what?" Naruto snapped defensively and felt instantly bad because of his outburst. He hadn't meant to sound so heated, but around this particular topic he felt on edge. He had no options, unless you counted the restroom of the train station―which wasn't as bad as it sounded, since it at least offered a locked door―or the few public saunas he regularly visited.

Shabby motels and unsafe shelters were familiar to him, as well as the hard benches on the night trains. Sleeping on a bench at a park was unwise―and during winter, it was a serious health risk―yet being attacked in public often caught at least someone's eye and would grant him help. But inside the apartment of another one-night stand, no one would see what happened to him.

Lately, many of his friends had settled down and started a family, and there was just no room for him in that picture anymore. His options were running low at an alarming pace, and Kankuro's divorce had felt like a divine offering for him.

"I mean, sorry. It's just… I've been a bit stressed lately," the blond said apologetically.

"No, I should apologize. I was being inconsiderate," Gaara knew and put the kitchen towel away. He inhaled sharply like he was about to say something more, but then he just held his breath for a while before turning around again and finding another glass to dry spotlessly clean.

* * *

The evening of their sixth vacation day was like any other.

Except tonight, Gaara's rowdy neighbors were at it again and the walls as thin as cardboard did nothing to mute their loud fighting. It made him uneasy for more reasons than one.

In all their horridness, the sounds of fighting felt homey. And home was a place he wanted to avoid at all costs.

Drying his hair on a towel, Gaara left the bathroom and walked slowly to the main room. With his squeaky-clean pajamas buttoned all the way up he could already feel the familiar itch building up on his throat. It was yet another freezing night ahead and unbuttoning his pajama top didn't feel like the right thing to do. Besides, his armor of flannel felt protective even with the annoying itch.

His friend was going through his phone, sitting cross-legged on the bed. It seemed he was not very bothered by the racket next door. When the blond heard Gaara approaching, he quickly put his phone away.

"Man… those two are really loud. Have they been doing that for a long time already?"

Gaara nodded, "Ever since I moved in here."

He made his way to the closet. Unlike the other night, now he wouldn't accidentally let himself fall asleep elsewhere―like next to Naruto, for example.

The yelling echoing from the air ventilation system wasn't about to die down even when the clock neared midnight. And here he had thought that by moving out of his childhood home he'd been able to leave that kind of experiences behind.

He settled down on the mattress in the closet, leaving the door open for now. "For some reason, their voices don't carry to the closet so much."

On the bed, Naruto turned his head from side to side, trying to locate the exact direction of the noise. He stood up and walked a half-circle around the room, only to stop near the closet. Given how concentrated he looked like, he had to be straining his hearing to its limit.

Slowly, Naruto neared the open doorway like a detective. He rubbed his chin deep in thought while he settled down on the mattress right next to Gaara.

"You're right. Their voices are much more muffled in here," the blond admitted.

"I've noticed the door isolates sounds quite well," Gaara told a thing he had learned early on while living in here.

Like a scientist in the middle of an experiment, Naruto pulled the door closed and listened.

Nothing.

Well, almost nothing, given how a few aggressive mumbles still managed to carry to their ears.

"Too bad all the walls aren't as soundproof," Gaara told, yawning.

Naruto nodded and yawned, too.

A little nightlight that was always on illuminated the darkened space. It was enough for them to see each other and the rectangular shelves with sharp edges that hovered close to their heads.

Naruto was wearing his crystal again. It was somehow endearing how he refused to let go of it even for the night. Was his silly gift really that precious?

"It's so much quieter in here," Naruto said. "As if I'd become deaf."

His humor earned a tiny response from Gaara. "That's why I never sleep in the bed."

The blond scratched his head. "To be honest, your neighbors remind me of what it was like for my last months at home."

Gaara understood. Parents could be a burden sometimes.

"But thankfully I don't have to listen to their opinions anymore."

There was Uzumaki's trademark optimism again. What was that place he drew all that positivity from?

"It's not your fault if your family fails to accept you," the redhead said but the next words took long before he could release them in the air, "You're a remarkable person. And if they can't recognize it, it's their loss."

Along with his sudden awkwardness a mind-wrecking tingle began to build up on his skin. Once again Gaara was reminded of his decision to button up his pajamas all the way up as the familiar itch returned and he scratched his neck fruitlessly.

"Your skin's turning all red," Naruto noticed, stilling his hands and gently guiding them away.

He knew that, and to enhance his point he glared at the blond. The truth was, his armor wasn't complete if it wasn't buttoned all the way up.

"Let me help you," Naruto said caringly and opened the uppermost button of Gaara's pajamas.

Breath caught in the redhead's throat. He narrowed his eyes into a glare but Naruto only smiled friendlily in return. Blue eyes as warm as summer sky looked at him, holding no signs of ulterior motives.

When the itch refused to subside and Gaara's hands came to scratch his skin again, Naruto unbuttoned another button and gently guided the redhead's nails away from his neck.

"Better?" the blond asked in a sunny way.

Gaara nodded but then quickly lay down on the mattress with his back turned to his friend. He tried to recall how it had happened again that this exuberant blond was here with him, in the sanctity of his closet. As Gaara's fingers brushed against his now bared throat, a thought of driving Naruto away crossed his mind.

Maybe he was just tired and overreacting. This was what friendship was supposed to be like but thanks to his withdrawn lifestyle, he had forgotten that. A little flustered, Gaara tried to calm himself down. They were in the closet, behind a closed door and no one else would ever witness what had just happened.

Naruto was his friend and wouldn't mind about his reaction, if he even noticed it in the first place.

Given how goofy and oblivious the blond was from time to time, there was a good change that Gaara's miniature confusion had gone unnoticed by him.

"Do you want me to go?" Naruto asked softly.

"No."

It wasn't a lie. He wished it was, though, for in that case he wouldn't have to explain to himself why he was willingly agreeing to something like this.

Rustling of the sheets carried from behind his back and soon Naruto's weight settled on the mattress, too. His warmth spread under the blanket, driving away the cold bite of winter night.

Glaring into the darkness, Gaara admitted (albeit only to himself) that having Naruto here wasn't perhaps the worst thing ever. And when Naruto's arm wrapped around him, breath caught in his throat.

"N-Naruto," he breathed, wincing at the stutter in his voice.

"Does this feel uncomfortable?"

"No," Gaara told and then Naruto's calm, sleepy breath walked across his neck.

With unnecessary haste Gaara turned around to face his friend. When the gaze of those blue eyes quickly dropped from his face to somewhere lower, the skin on Gaara's exposed throat tingled and he pulled up the blanket to his chin. Naruto's friendly gaze was now on his eyes again, but before Gaara could feel overly thankful for it, Naruto touched his waist under the cover.

"I'm used to sleeping alone," Gaara confessed, not sure what he should be thinking right now, if anything.

"I can go, if you want," Naruto offered but didn't make a move. His eyes threatened to close like he was sleepy, and when they eventually did, Gaara felt a little more at ease.

"Don't go."

Blue eyes opened again and the hand on his waist felt even hotter.

Before this weirdness could continue any longer, he turned his back on Naruto in hopes of escaping whatever it was that was making him feel this way. Maybe he was just tired. Or maybe he was slowly going insane.

But as he should've guessed, Naruto's presence was not ignored just like that.

Under the blanket, the blond's arm hooked around him and his palm pressed against his chest. And those few extra beats his heart gave just then resulted in a broken breath that escaped Gaara's lips like a thief.

"I won't ever leave you, Gaara."

His voice was sleepy and careless, but the impact of those words lay heavily on Gaara's chest, much like the hand that reminded him of how furiously his heart beat.

Someone cared. Someone saw him as a meaningful person.

Naruto said he would stay.

And before wetness began to pool in his eyes, before his stomach could twist in to an uncomfortable knot again, he gritted his teeth to prevent it from growing.

Trust was an issue for him, but for some reason around Naruto he found himself more trusting and open. A tiny spot in his soul that hadn't yet been numbed, desperately wished he could trust those words Naruto had just said.

It was silly, downright ridiculous for him to feel this way.

Naruto was a popular guy, and soon he would pack his things and head for his brand new life with Kankuro. And who knew, maybe the happy blond would find a new job and another, more exciting workplace full of new, better friends?

Even though he wished nothing but the best for Naruto, his chest hurt from the inside.

* * *

The next day it was already the 30th of December. Later in the afternoon his friend would go to see the apartment Kankuro had gotten for them, but now in the forenoon Naruto was still here, watching a movie with him.

And Gaara lay on his back against a pillow, which was leaning against Naruto, who in turn sat on the bed with his back propped up by the headboard. Whatever amount of Christmas candy there was still left, was rapidly vanishing as Naruto gorged the chocolates into his mouth. There were times when Gaara didn't hear him unwrap the candy at all, and worriedly he wondered if Naruto was actually eating the treats with their wrappers still on.

Heartfelt chuckles filled the air as Naruto deemed it reasonable to laugh at _every single_ funny part there was in the movie. Silently Gaara glared at the screen and tried to see it, too. But he didn't. And it felt like Naruto's joy was overflowing, it was noisy and continuous and his laughter filled every silent, peaceful moment between them.

In the early hours of the morning, he had noticed the unusual way Naruto was arranging the miscellaneous stuff that lay on the kitchen table: a few pens, a receipt from a week ago, fruits the blond had bought but for which no one had had the appetite for, and two dead batteries. In a systematic way Gaara had not known Naruto possessed, the blond had placed these items in a disciplined order where each millimeter seemed to hold great importance.

And now, now the blond was all but concentrated. Even on scenes that weren't meant to be funny, he laughed, as if driving something away―Gaara didn't know what it was, but at least peace and quiet had long ago left this place. And when he heard a strange rustle coming from the blond's mouth―and soon Naruto spat something out―he knew instantly that the goof had actually forgotten to unwrap his candy this time.

"Haha, Gaara, you know what?" Naruto's cheery voice called. "You have no idea what just happened!"

"Tell me," the redhead replied calmly even though he knew what it would be about, for in all unpredictableness, Naruto was very predictable in most ways. But rather than to point this out in his wry way, Gaara just listened to his friend and enjoyed the way he told the story like it was the most interesting, most funny occurrence ever.

With a few added highlights (which realness could be debated) the story of how Naruto Uzumaki accidentally almost ate a candy with its wrappers still on, was a success Gaara didn't feel sorry for hearing.

A little more relaxedly, Gaara leaned against his friend. The candy now gone, Naruto's idle hands came to shyly rest on his shoulders first, until slowly making their way on top of the blanket, stopping only on Gaara's stomach.

"Would you like to come and see the apartment, too?" Naruto asked and sounded serious.

Gaara had no idea why he would be needed there, and he was in no mood for such a visit. A one-sided, albeit still faint, throb of pain pounded behind his eye. "Not today, sorry. I think a migraine might be on its way."

"Oh," Naruto understood and sounded disappointed. "Well, I have this friend who's a masseur and who has specialized in neural pathways."

Before Gaara even knew it, Naruto's hand found its way on his collarbone and he was pressing it gently with his fingertips.

"N-Naruto," he gasped and was sorry he didn't sound as snappy as he had intended to.

"This here," Naruto explained calmly, while pressing his warm fingers along Gaara's collarbone, his hand half-way under his shirt, "This is where the nerves cross, and by pressing along the bone like this, the migraine might go away."

That was the stupidest thing Gaara had ever heard, but he let his friend try to prove his point a while longer, before he sat up and escaped the touch.

Naruto looked almost disappointed.

"Are you feeling better?" the blond asked, hopeful.

"Maybe. I don't know," Gaara wasn't sure. "But I think I'm going to need a painkiller."

"Does that mean you'll be coming with me?" the blond asked expectantly.

"No," the redhead told and before he could witness the hurt expression on his friend's face, he slipped into the kitchen. After taking the pill, he returned to the main room. Naruto was waiting for him, holding the blanket on the side so that Gaara could easily claim his earlier place.

Not sure if he should accept the invitation, Gaara still found himself climbing on the bed, leaning his back against Naruto's chest and the pillow, and soon the warm blanket was pulled over them both.

The ghost of Naruto's touch on his collarbone haunted him to a point he almost growled. In a way, it had felt as inappropriate as the hideous scent of his soap, or the way he sometimes hugged him, or held him close. But to his horror he had to admit he didn't hate this kind of closeness as much as he had thought. Naruto was warm and friendly. And quiet, too, at the moment.

It wasn't a bad thing.

In the peace of their moment, an uninvited thought crossed his mind. How could it be that this blond man was romantically involved with his brother?

Kankuro had always been straight, hadn't he? Why he was suddenly interested in men? And how, oh god _how_ , was it possible that Naruto of all people turned out to be the catalyst setting that unexpected change into motion?

Gaara had never really known any gay people, only seen their stereotypes in movies and series or heard the prevalent prejudices in the tones other people used when they were talking about ' _them'_.

In the small social circles Gaara had spent his life so far, 'they' were treated differently: with silence that left him wondering if such an anomaly even existed. Dad always kept on saying that traits of _that kind_ were a choice, and mom never corrected him, supporting him with her silence. Even today he could still recall those dinnertime lectures in discomforting detail: how dad's voice bellowed over everyone else, how mom calmly stacked more potatoes and sausages to his plate, how Temari had long ago stopped listening and how Kankuro sat pale and tensed in his seat like he had seen a ghost.

The scorching sun called Naruto was maybe the most intriguing phenomenon he had ever had a chance to observe. And when it came to same-sex attractions, Naruto didn't really look gay―even though Gaara had to admit he couldn't really say what 'gay' was even supposed to look like. Maybe those ingrained prejudices of his parents, of their whole society, had really tainted his thoughts like poison―or maybe he was just curious over this whole idea―but whatever the true reason, he couldn't help but wonder.

He definitely had nothing against homosexuality but it felt strange to him that somebody―like Naruto for example―would seek intimate closeness with another representative of the same sex. Wasn't it a bit unnatural? Wasn't it just what they had all been taught to never, ever do?

Then why didn't it this position they were currently in feel repulsive or unnatural?

But there was an easy answer to that. It was because they were friends. And Naruto, well, he was just being his goofy old self, even when eerily quiet.

Ideas of how his brother and this blond prodigy had met sprouted in his mind like the first flowers of spring. Had Naruto charmed the brunet with his disarming smile? Or maybe they had met through mutual hobbies, or a circle of friends, and the power of Naruto's heart-filling warmth had proselytized Kankuro into ideas so radical, that he had abandoned his accustomed ways and started to follow the beaming blond like he was a prophet most divine?

Whatever the true story was, it had to be something remarkable like everything Naruto was involved in.

A few days ago, Gaara has asked Naruto if he was in love with the brunet. Why he had done it, he didn't know, but maybe he had needed confirmation. The blond had fallen silent at first, as if reading him like the tightly closed book he was, before quickly admitting that yes, he had known the brunet for a year now and that living together had been a recurring topic in their conversations.

When Gaara had been ready to point out he hadn't really answered his question, Naruto rushed to tell that he wished nothing but the best for both Kankuro and Gaara, and how their hospitality was greatly appreciated by him. Then he launched into a monologue of how wonderful people they were, finding nothing but shades of greatness out of them, and by the time he was finished, Gaara was too tired to take part in the conversation anymore.

Earlier in the autumn, Gaara remembered offering his trap of an apartment for Naruto to spend his nights in. He hadn't asked him to move in with him―at least not with words like that, but his friend had never really utilized that offer, and now he knew why.

Naruto was moving in with Kankuro. And no matter the image Gaara had of his complexly beloved―yet not remarkably honorable―brother, there had to be something astonishing in him that Naruto held dear. Gaara had no idea what it was, but it had to be there somewhere.

Not that he ever let his thoughts get into unnecessary details, he admitted having wondered what the thing between his brother and this goofy blond _really_ was. Their relationship probably consisted of just kissing and hugging―or maybe only hugging. Anything else was too hard to believe. Naruto wouldn't be like _that_. And Kankuro sure as hell wouldn't be, in Gaara's opinion.

The idea just couldn't fit in his head, and so he dismissed it altogether.

But when Naruto seized his hand under the blanket, squeezing it quickly on the way, he became distracted again and forgot what he had been thinking about. The movie neared its end, their holiday neared its end, and soon his friend would be out of the door for good.

A throb behind his eye startled him and he closed his eyes, and little flashes of light danced behind his eyelids.

As if sensing his migraine, Naruto calmly touched his collarbone again, pressing points which seemed trivial at first, but soon Gaara gave in to that new contact and lowered his defense. In the end he wasn't sure if it was the ibuprofen fading his headache away, or Naruto's caress on his skin.

But one thing was sure.

He would miss their little holiday, and the endless-like days they had spent together.

* * *

 **A/N:** _Okay there was maybe illegally much fluff in here, hehe. But in the next chapter, there's a little bit of drama ahead, maybe a tiny teeny fluff and humor, too._


	7. Quit Messing With My Head, Naruto

**A/N:** _First of all thank you so much for all the lovely feedback! *heart* I'm literally melting into a warm happy puddle over here. ^^_

 _I hope this chapter is okay. It won't be as fluffy as the previous one, though._

* * *

 **Chapter 7: Quit Messing With My Head, Naruto**

In the afternoon of December 30th, a day before New Year's Eve, Naruto stood in a spacious loft where natural light flooded in even in the middle of winter.

Kankuro had found a place of his own, a home _for them_ , and for the past weeks he had been furnishing it.

Granted, it was certainly not as luxurious as the man's previous home but was definitely more upscale than all the other places Naruto had ever stayed in.

In the roomy kitchen, appliances looked modern and expensive. Floor was not made out of vinyl but dentless hardwood. Lamps he had only seen in magazines hung from the ceiling with carefully measured style.

This was a dream come true. Somebody's dream.

"Oh wow," Naruto breathed.

"I hope you like it," Kankuro said. "You can move in tomorrow," he continued softly with a clear innuendo, "Or tonight."

Naruto smiled a little nervously and remained on the spot. Kankuro's hands rubbing his shoulders continued their silent persuasion.

"I guess I could forward my mail here from now on," Naruto concluded.

Kankuro's massaging hands stopped abruptly, "Well, no."

To the blond's surprised look he only explained, "I'm sorry. It's too soon. Imagine what would happen if somebody found out I was officially living with another guy. Sakura wouldn't leave that opportunity to humiliate me unused."

Naruto nodded, for his throat felt too tight to speak. Of course he understood. He had to. But no matter how time-consuming it sometimes was to deal with his mail sent into a postal box on the other side of the area, at least now he had a permanent home, albeit only unofficially.

Kankuro continued massaging his shoulders and then kissed his neck. "You can spend all the time you want in here. I just think it'd be better, at least for a few months, if you wouldn't stay the night more than four times a week. People start to notice things, you know, even in a city as big as this."

There it was again. The tightness that stopped all Naruto's movements from within and pressed him into an anxious statue made out of doubt.

He nodded in agreement again. What other choice did he have in the end?

* * *

Ever since Naruto came back from his visit to Kankuro, he had been beaming like the happiest person on earth. At first Gaara had thought nothing of it but when he saw Naruto bite his nails whenever he thought no one was around, he wondered if there was a reason for his hidden nervousness.

Now, however, they were standing in the middle of the main room. Gaara looked at his smiling friend suspiciously. There was no way he would agree to such a plan.

"Please, it'd be fun," Naruto pleaded in his friendly way.

To go to a bar between Christmas and New Year didn't sound like an ambitious plan, no matter that it was only because of celebrating his friend's new home.

"I don't know what I'd even wear," Gaara told, glancing at his slacks and dress shirt. In any hip place, he'd stand out like a sore thumb.

"Well you know, how about you wear that fishnet and the hoodie again?" Naruto suggested nonchalantly, reminding him about that one evening they'd accidentally met in that downtown bar.

Gaara hesitated. In his opinion, the fishnet was too revealing for a casual night out with his friend. But when he noticed the tight shirt Naruto planned on wearing, he realized he would have to look 'trendy', too, no matter how much he detested such social obligation.

In a not-too-awful bar, Gaara and Naruto sat on high bar stools and leaned on the counter.

Naruto had stuck a tiny cocktail umbrella behind his ear while fiddling another one between his fingers.

"You should've seen the place. It was so roomy and elegant and _expensive_ ," Naruto told about his visit to Kankuro's new place.

Gaara stared at his drink, "Sounds nice."

"Yeah, doesn't it," Naruto replied but his voice had a hollow tinge to it. He tossed the tiny umbrella to the counter and sipped his drink.

"Is everything alright?" Gaara asked.

"Better than ever," the blond said but this time he didn't smile. Even though his voice was happy, something was missing.

Instead of pursuing the subject further, Gaara glanced around the place. A few people had tried to make their way towards him throughout the night but always in those occasions Naruto's hand had found its way on his shoulder while the blond spoke something in his ear.

It wasn't that loud in here. He would've heard just fine from half a meter away.

But in a way Gaara was thankful. He wasn't in a mood for any new acquaintances and in his fishnet shirt that peeked from under his half-zipped hoodie, he felt naked to some level. But Naruto had encouraged him to wear it, telling him he looked fine and that in this outfit he would blend in to the crowd seamlessly.

And it hadn't been a lie, Gaara had to admit.

When he lifted his gaze to his silent friend, he caught blue eyes staring at him rather openly. Naruto's instant smile was more luminous than the lamps above them and rather amusedly the blond stuck that abandoned little umbrella behind Gaara's ear.

"It suits you," the blond laughed kindly.

"We are pathetic," Gaara sighed but couldn't erase amusement from his voice.

"Yeah, that might be true," Naruto chuckled and ordered another one, "But at least we're in this together."

Gaara raised his glass, "To your new home and better life."

"Cheers," Naruto said but his smile was tight and humorless. His azure eyes were serious for no apparent reason.

Gaara wondered if there was something he was left out of.

On their way home they crossed the river. On the cobblestone bridge, Gaara halted and gazed down at the frozen water. A sensation of sadness pushed itself into his heart.

Maybe it was those two drinks he had consumed, or the sight of the river that was infamous for offering a quick way to end one's life. As he squeezed the tiny cocktail umbrella in his pocket, thoughts of his nonexistent future slithered to his head like thieves and robbed him of the last bits of happiness he had managed to keep.

"A penny for your thoughts," Naruto said softly.

 _When did he step up so close?_

Gaara fiddled the small umbrella in his pocket, probing its fragility. Naruto had given this to him and he didn't have the heart to snap it in two.

"My ex-wife was an alcoholic," Gaara found himself telling, "And maybe that's why I'm not so keen on going to bars."

"I understand. I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable," the blond apologized.

"It wasn't that bad when you were there."

When had he become this soft around people, around Naruto especially? He tried to glare in order to fix his reputation but the heartwarming smile on his friend's face erased all his attempts.

 _Damned Uzumaki and his ways._

"I haven't heard you mention your ex-wife much, or your parents," Naruto pointed out boldly, but without any trace of nosiness.

Gaara gazed at the snowy mass of ice blocking his world from the watery one below.

What was there to say about Tsunade, that mature woman who had never really earned his family's trust for reasons so many Gaara could write a book of them. With the looks of his mother and with the habits of his father, Tsunade had been a mixture of rebellion and safety that was sure to get Gaara hooked before he realized his mistake.

"I don't really keep in touch with my parents. They're problematic," Gaara explained. Naruto seemed to understand.

"And my ex-wife wasn't an easier case, either."

Mute―that's what she had made him. That's what mom and dad made him, each in their own way.

Defeated and mute and appetite-less. Someone who didn't say no. Someone who didn't say yes either but it was alright because the lack of 'no' was really a silent 'yes', wasn't it?

And he couldn't help but wonder if he would've ever entered such a relationship in the first place if the environment he grew up in hadn't been so thoroughly oppressing. At the age of eighteen he had moved out, at first to live with his sister but soon carrying his scarce belongings under the same roof with the woman who had been bold enough to approach him on his way to school six months prior.

While tremendously better than living with his parents, sharing an apartment with his wife had not been a picnic, either. Time after time, he had been fooled by her groundless promises of a brighter future that always waited just behind the next corner.

In the first months of their odd relationship he had been cultivating silly hopes that secretly, Tsunade was his long-lost mother and that the family he had grown up with was just a horrible, _horrible_ mix-up.

But of course, her kindness had not been because of that.

Gaara tore his gaze away from the frozen river. Suddenly he was feeling the freeze again, the chill in his bones that might be born from something else entirely than the current weather.

"My dad thinks he's the wisest man in the world, and mom never corrects him," Gaara said.

"I know the type," Naruto replied with a hint of sadness in his voice. "How did your parents take your marriage?"

"As long as I was marrying a woman, they didn't mind," Gaara said, and then laughed bitterly, "And we all know now how well that turned out."

Naruto considered this for a moment. "Sometimes parents only mean their best, but end up doing the opposite."

"Dad hit us when he was drunk. Mom looked the other way. It's hard to see how they thought it would be good for us," Gaara said accusingly.

"I'm sorry. I had no idea," the blond said and put an arm around the redhead. Gaara swatted the hand away.

"That's why I don't like conflicts or speaking up my mind. And that's why my brother has developed a habit of lying, because most of the times it saved us all from lots of trouble," Gaara explained, still angry. The look in his eyes was so chilling it could freeze air.

But Naruto stepped closer again and glomped him, his warmth melting the freezing tone from Gaara's expression.

"No matter what your parents are like, you're a wonderful person, Gaara. And your brother is, too," Naruto assured.

"I… I can say the same about you," the redhead admitted and swallowed hard. He pushed Naruto away and turned his back on him. He so much more preferred the wintry chill that kissed his skin until it turned numb. Naruto's energy was doing the exact opposite, and he was not sure if he liked that.

This time, the blond kept his distance and Gaara shivered comfortably when the freeze slowly erased all traces of Naruto from his skin.

When the wintry chill became too much to endure, they started walking again. Gaara, accustomed to numerous layers of his usual protective clothing, now shivered in his trendy attire. Not even his woolen coat could shield him from the freeze.

As a solution Naruto's hand was suddenly around him, rubbing his arm in order to warm him up. He let him do it, for now. Thankfully not many people were around to misunderstand their close proximity. Then again, maybe it wasn't about what people thought but how cozy it made Gaara feel.

This felt natural. More natural than any relationship he had ever had.

With a sharp glare, Gaara broke free from the one-arm hug and pushed his hands deeper into his pockets. He'd rather freeze than to… than to allow such irrational thoughts sprout into his mind.

And come April and spring, he would definitely live up to his earlier, currently postponed plans concerning this damned river.

* * *

It was December 31st and a small crowd of people had gathered in Kankuro's new quarters to celebrate New Year.

As far as Naruto knew, that brown haired man called Kiba Inuzuka was not only one of Kankuro's friends but his new boss, too. A silent, tall man next to him was Shino if he remembered correctly, and the calm-looking woman with two buns on top of her head was Tenten, a legal consultant who also worked in the same company as the other three men.

And then there was Gaara, of course, standing in the corner and reading the room.

And of course he, Naruto, was introduced to everyone as 'Gaara's friend'. He and Kankuro were not to exchange any signs of physical or emotional attraction.

The eight other people Kankuro had invited he didn't know and quite frankly, he wasn't feeling like getting to know them either.

From what he had been able to read between the lines, Gaara and his brother didn't really get along. Because of that it was strange why the redhead had agreed to join this little party. Naruto kept his distance to everybody, smiling politely whenever someone looked at his way but on the inside, he wished he was somewhere else.

Now that he lived here―even though it would only be three or four days per week―his undercover lover wouldn't be gifting him with stacks of money each time he left the place. Being alive was expensive in every way and he missed the weight of dollar stacks in his pocket. But thinking on the bright side, being able to stay here was a gift generous enough, wasn't it?

That bun-headed woman was keeping her eyes on Kankuro, laughing at his feeble jokes and pouring more champagne to him whenever his glass threatened to turn empty. Kankuro didn't seem to mind. Of course Naruto knew it was just a part of keeping up the appearances but even so, he couldn't chase away the little sting of jealousy in his heart.

When midnight drew closer, Naruto's mood grew more and more anxious.

Another year was about to end and what lay ahead scared him.

People started gathering in the living room to count down the last minutes of the year. Everyone was cheery and he felt excluded from the joyous atmosphere. Kankuro was all smiles, Tenten standing near him to no one's surprise. Kiba and Shino had their glasses risen and Gaara… Where was Gaara?

But the weight on Naruto's shoulders forced him to leave, and so he slipped out of the room without anyone noticing.

He made his way to the darkened guest room and closed the door behind him.

After a few calm breaths, he was starting to feel better. Maybe he would pull through whatever life had in store for him.

Behind his back, the door opened soundlessly. For the short moment it was open, he could hear the happy chatter of other guests. To see Gaara walking to him was a pleasant surprise.

"What are you doing in here all by yourself?"

"I just needed a moment alone," Naruto explained.

"Do you want me to go?" the redhead asked, already about to turn around and leave the room.

"Don't go," the blond pleaded hastily.

There was no doubt that Mr. Sabaku was a handsome man. In the darkened room, his ivory skin glowed in the moonlight that poured from the window. Those black-rimmed eyes of his looked too old and too numb for someone his age but every now and then, Naruto had witnessed an excited glint light up in there.

Those were precious moments.

The countdown had already begun and exuberant voices carried all the way to the guestroom, albeit faintly.

"30… 29… 28… 27…"

With a smile as mysterious as the moonlight surrounding them, Naruto looked at his friend and stroked his cheek with his thumb. Cold and smooth. Just like he had imagined.

"20… 19… 18…"

Gaara's eyes glinted in the dark and his skin was getting warmer. Naruto's smile mellowed into something serious. If only he could stop the clocks. He didn't want to move forward.

"15… 14… 13…"

Naruto pulled his friend into a hug, his fingers finding their way into the red hair and taking in its softness. He knew he should be out there celebrating with his secret boyfriend instead of hiding in the dark, holding his friend in his arms with unexplainable desperation.

"3… 2… 1… Happy new year!" the voices yelled happily in the distance.

"Happy new year," Naruto whispered in his friend's ear. His fingers smoothed down those red locks and before letting go, he stopped by his ear to say something more. But the words died in his throat and the only message he was able to forward was a slight brush of his lips against the hot skin on Gaara's cheek.

As it dawned on Naruto how close he'd allowed himself to go, touching his hair and face like that, panic started to climb up on him. First it got to his knees, making them wobbly and then it quickly traveled upwards to his heart.

Before any idea of fleeing the situation could be put into action, Gaara's soft gasp nailed Naruto in place. It flew through Gaara's mouth and gave Naruto's skin a quick, fleeting caress as it passed. Air turned into cement in Naruto's lungs and he couldn't breathe. All he could respond with was another sensual twitch of his fingers that were buried tightly in the red hair. And then his dry lips brushed against Gaara's warm cheek.

"Naruto…" His voice was barely threatening, the sharp edge gone this time, yet the demand of explanation surely echoed in there.

Naruto let go of his hair, of him altogether, and didn't know what to say.

"Hey," he then grinned joyfully, his face smiling while his heart shivered in fear, "Happy new year."

But Gaara saw through his barrier. "I would've gotten your well-wishes just fine, without you inviting yourself into my personal space like that." There was no mistaking the indignation in his tone.

Naruto's smile never dropped. "Well, what's a wish without a hug?"

"Just keep it to yourself. I don't want you shoving your way at me like that again," Gaara told, his words dripping coolness, yet it looked like the coolness was everywhere but at his cheeks.

Naruto's grin only grew wider, but Gaara didn't notice this, as he leaned against the windowsill and admired the nocturnal landscape. Fireworks lighted up the sky and their racket momentarily deafened all the other sounds away. They were beautiful but Naruto found it hard to concentrate on such a thing.

"When I was a kid, I was scared of fireworks," Naruto told.

"Are you afraid now, too?" Gaara asked.

"Yes. I am."

And by the time Gaara turned to look at his friend, Naruto was staring at some spot in the distance, his back turned to the explosions on the sky, and his face obscured from the light.

When they eventually returned to the crowd it looked like no one had noticed their absence.

Unsurprisingly, Tenten was following Kankuro around like a puppy. It annoyed Naruto but he couldn't show it in any way. He tried to exchange looks with his secret boyfriend to no avail. Kankuro just never happened to look at his way. The man was so good at keeping their relationship undercover that he started to wonder if a large part of it was in fact unintentional.

 _Does he even care about me, after all?_

Gaara was the first to leave and instead of announcing his departure to everyone, he only shared it with Naruto. The two of them stood in the hallway alone. The blond watched as his friend put on his woolen coat and a warm scarf.

There was that mysterious glint in Gaara's eyes again. It made Naruto happy for reasons he didn't care to go through right now.

Hands in his pockets, Gaara looked at him softly. Or at least that was how Naruto interpreted that expression: it was kind, soft, friendly, caring… Or maybe he was overanalyzing it again.

"Happy new year," the redhead said and reached out to squeeze his hand.

It was not an official gesture like a handshake would be but something more personal and caring. Naruto squeezed his hand back and hesitated to let go. When it sounded like some other guests were coming their way, Naruto reluctantly withdrew his hand.

With a wordless nod, Gaara left but the sensation on Naruto's skin made it feel like he was still there.

* * *

On January 4th it felt duller than ever to be at work. After so many eventful vacation days with his friend, real life felt like a punishment.

Just this morning Kankuro had told him to find accommodation elsewhere for the upcoming two nights. With a confident smile, Naruto had nodded and kissed him goodbye before heading to the office.

Naruto clutched his chest. It hurt.

But after coming this far, showing weakness was not an option. The last thing he wanted was pity.

In the end, all he had to do was endure this arrangement for the upcoming year. If he could do that, they would be finally able to live normally together like any other couple he knew. Sure, their sex wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst either. He could live with that and the safe luxury Kankuro offered him.

Around six in the evening Naruto started to clean up his desk.

While packing his bag, he pondered his options. Hooking up with a one-night stand in exchange for accommodation was out of question this time, as it felt like cheating on his boyfriend.

Naruto sighed at the word. Were he and Kankuro really boyfriends?

If he was honest with himself, their mutual arrangement didn't feel like that of a proper relationship. But it was the best he could have in a situation like this.

"Working late again, Uzumaki?"

"G-Gaara?" Naruto breathed as the man suddenly stood there next to his cubicle. Mr. Sabaku's office-self was a striking contrast to the man he had seen during their holiday.

"I was just about to leave," Naruto told and zipped up his duffel bag.

The redhead noticed his large bag and lifted a nonexistent brow in wonder, "Why are you carrying your belongings with you?"

Naruto swiped invisible dust away from the surface of his desk. "I'm not going home tonight."

"Why not?" Gaara asked, surprised.

"I don't go there every night," the blond explained and brushed past his co-worker. "It's safer that way."

"Yes, for him," Gaara's voice came coldly behind his back. Naruto stopped.

"Look, it's alright for me. He's in a tough situation right now."

But it seemed his reasoning didn't convince Mr. Sabaku.

"Where are you going to go tonight?" Gaara asked.

For some reason, Naruto felt slightly irritated by their conversation. He hadn't liked the accusing tone Gaara had used when talking about his brother.

"I'll find a place," the blond said a little more angrily than he had intended. Feeling already bad because of it, he slowed down his steps and looked apologetically at his friend. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so angry."

But Gaara didn't seem to mind about it, as he only looked at him with a concerned expression.

"Let's go," the redhead said quietly and walked past him, expecting him to follow.

A strange, bubbly feeling started to spread on Naruto's heart. A stupid, honest grin took over his face and with lightness in his steps, he ran after his friend.

* * *

Ramen cooked by Naruto was put in a large bowl in front of Gaara. That was a ridiculous amount of food. He couldn't possibly eat that much.

As he was about to point that out, Naruto had already sat down at the table and begun wolfing down his share. With a defeated sigh, Gaara dug into his meal.

Albeit reluctantly, his blond friend told him about the terms that concerned him living at Kankuro's place. No matter how cheerful Naruto tried to mask himself into, there was a certain amount of sadness in his eyes that didn't go unnoticed by Gaara.

When Naruto had finished his usual round of housework―despite Gaara's continuous remarks of quitting such fuss―the blond plopped down on the floor next to the redhead who was currently reading a book.

"If you want I can iron your shirts," Naruto said.

"For god's sake Naruto," Gaara sighed and snapped his book shut. "Stop it already. Rest while you're here."

"You always keep saying that," the blond huffed.

"Yes. Because you look more tired than you should," the redhead told and opened his book again.

"Aww come on," Naruto cooed playfully, "Out of the two of us, I'm not the one with dark rings around my eyes."

Even though he tried his best, this time Gaara couldn't master up his trademark glare. "During the holidays I slept alright. There's nothing wrong with my eyes, either."

"I didn't mean there was. Your eyes are―" Naruto stopped abruptly and swallowed back the words. "Your eyes look rested. And while I was here I slept well, too so you don't have to worry about me."

Gaara glanced at his friend softly, momentarily letting go of his accustomed shield of impassiveness. No matter that he had indeed slept better with another soul in here, with his friend occupying the hollow spot _right next to him_ , he would never admit such a thing to Naruto.

"Hey Gaara."

He was so very close to him again, and Gaara ignored his presence completely. This time, he would not be fazed.

"Do you want me to sleep in the closet, next to you?"

Gaara's gaze stopped on the page of his book. Just to give an impression he was still reading, he moved his eyes, not really seeing the words. He didn't need much to remember the way Naruto's warm hand had hooked him in place to rest over his heart. He didn't need that. He didn't want that.

"I don't think it's something Kankuro would approve of," Gaara only replied.

But unlike he had expected, there was no drop in Naruto's mood. Instead, the blond touched his shoulder and rubbed it absentmindedly.

"He wouldn't mind. We're friends, and there's nothing wrong with that."

Gaara leaned away from his touch. He accidentally dropped his book and quickly picked it up, not sure if he was on the right page but not really caring. He was getting irritated again. It was not fair, nor was it alright in any way, that his blond friend had such an influence on his moods. Like a clever fisherman, Naruto could pull reactions out of him that were better left under the surface.

Gaara closed his eyes in hopes of escaping his confusion. He felt heat radiating on his other side, and he was certain the stubborn blond had leaned closer. When he opened his eyes, Naruto was not nearer but going through his phone in an absentminded manner. A flicker of disappointment swirled in his guts.

This was stupid.

Gaara gritted his teeth, ready to get up and escape the room. But then Naruto's warm hand was on his shoulder again, stealthily sliding down his back until it hooked around his waist, pulling him closer.

"You look damn tired, Gaara. You should go to bed. And me, too. You know how curious those gossipers will be at work if we both show up at the same time in the morning, looking like we hadn't slept a blink."

"Such idiotic assumptions couldn't be further from the truth," Gaara snapped and pushed Naruto away.

It was one thing letting Naruto lure a blush to his face, but letting him put images in his head was a thing he wouldn't allow. He was tired of Naruto planting him into these embarrassing situations, for it always looked like the blond had the upper hand and Gaara was just a helpless test subject. Naruto was such a horrible, terrible bully. No matter how much he wrapped it into a packet of cheery sun-like friendliness, he was still a bully. And Gaara was about to grab his lunchbox and give him some metal.

With a fleeting touch Gaara brushed his fingers against Naruto's bare leg―the goof was lounging around once again in his boxers and T-shirt, how else. Attention was instantly drawn and Gaara had to stifle his snort when he saw the honest surprise swirling in those azure eyes that were staring at him, unblinking.

"You know, maybe we should stay up all night and… give them something to talk about," Gaara said quietly, tracing the spine of his book with feigned innocence. He bit the inside of his cheek in order not to burst out laughing and ruining it all.

This was stupid. And he had to remind himself again why he was taking part in something like this in the first place.

Between his fingers he twiddled the ribbon that was attached to the spine, serving as a bookmark. He bit his lip like he was hesitant and then―as a final blow―lifted up his pleading gaze to meet the bewilderment sparkling in those navy pools.

Naruto was staring at him, his eyes attentive yet at the same time it looked like he was not seeing him at all. His lips were parted, and the skin on his arms and legs was covered in goose bumps and the little hair he had there, was standing up like someone had breathed against his skin.

Naruto looked like a complete dork.

And Gaara finally let out an unrestrained chuckle, his smirk growing to unforeseen depths. Heat flooded to Naruto's face and he pulled his legs closer, like he had been exposed in a way he hadn't expected. He looked absolutely disgruntled.

Gaara smacked him on the head with his book and got up.

"Now go to bed. It's getting late."

The blond was rubbing his sore scalp and staring at him like he had just stolen his lunch money.

Feeling better than in a long time, Gaara stretched and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

* * *

Hushed chattering carried from the coffee machine thanks to his idiotic co-workers who couldn't keep it down. Their annoying gossip moment was momentarily cut off when one moron ran out of the office and slammed the door shut.

Gaara muttered in frustration as his concentration was interrupted time after time.

Now even grouchier than normally, he stood up and made his way to the nerve center that was the cause of this annoying ruckus.

Almost all of his colleagues had gathered around Ino who stood in the middle, proudly showing her phone to everyone willing to see. And boy, did his co-workers seem curious. Gaara glared at the fools and made his way closer.

"Oi Gaara," Ino called snootily, "I bet you want to see this."

Glaring at the obnoxious woman, Gaara lowered his gaze to her phone screen. What he saw in there was certainly something he hadn't been expecting.

"What the…?"

Ino grinned at him mischievously, "It's him, alright. Wouldn't have believed of him, would you?"

It was a picture of a very naked Naruto, spreading his legs to the camera and offering a view of his puckered hole and lengthy erection.

"Quite a view, isn't it?" Ino smirked, studying his facial expression way too interestedly.

Gaara tore his gaze away from the picture and scanned around the room. The only one missing was Naruto.

"Shit..." he cursed under his breath as he realized the person who had left the office with such hurry had to be the blond.

Without saying a word to anyone, he quickly fetched his bag and ran after his friend.

 _Those fricking idiots!_

The image haunted his thoughts as he hurried along the streets to catch up with his friend. No wonder if Naruto had left in a rush. Even though it wasn't any of his business, he wondered what the source of that picture was. Wiping Naruto's seductive pose out of his mind was easier said than done, and he couldn't help but wonder if it was something he did with Kankuro.

Chasing away his unnecessary ponderings, Gaara fastened his pace. He found Naruto at the train station, sitting on a bench and crying.

"Naruto," he called, out of breath.

His friend's reddened eyes noticed him and instantly shame washed over him.

Gaara sat down and put a protective arm around him. "Are you alright?" he asked even though he knew he wasn't.

"I can't go back in there," Naruto sniffed in desperation. "My life is ruined."

The redhead squeezed his shoulder compassionately and wiped away a tear that was running down on Naruto's cheek.

"Let's go home," Gaara told and called a taxi for them.

At Gaara's apartment, Naruto lay down on the bed and curled up into a ball. After brief hesitation, Gaara decided to settle next to him. This was, after all, how his friend had comforted him way back when he had been in a state of emotional turmoil.

"I'm sure everything will turn out better. Ino will get a notice for sure," Gaara said and gazed reassuringly into the saddest blue he had ever seen.

"It's not about her. It was bound to come up in a way or another. It was just a matter of time," Naruto cried and wiped his eyes.

Anger flared inside Gaara every time he thought about the cruelty of his co-workers. How could they do something like that to a friendly person like Naruto?

"It was in my last year of college," the blond suddenly explained. "My parents had kicked me out and I was living in my friend's garage at the time. I had two jobs already but I desperately needed more money. Since there just weren't enough hours in a day, I couldn't take a third one. That led me looking for a quick way to earn money."

Gaara caressed his arm tenderly, and absentmindedly wiped away tears that threatened to pool in the corner of Naruto's eyes.

The blond sniffed before continuing, "I ended up selling pictures of myself. Sometimes I video chatted but I tried to avoid it. I was frightened of where it might lead but even so it felt safer behind the screen than actually meeting with those people and letting them have their way with me."

"It was not your fault," Gaara knew, "And I understand you."

Naruto's crying grew louder and he squeezed the redhead's shirt, as if he was the only part of his life that made sense, anymore. With uttermost care, Gaara traced his thumb over the whiskered cheek to dry his tears.

"It'll be alright, I promise. And you'll always have my support."

He smoothed down Naruto's blond hair and marveled at the texture. It was coarser than his, yet still on the softer side. When another set of tears welled up in his blue eyes, Gaara wiped them away with his fingers.

Naruto leaned against his chest, hiding his head under his chin and seeking for comfort. His silent sobs began again and Gaara protectively entwined an arm around him. In the end he wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, maybe an hour or two.

Time seemed to stop, the city around them vanished, and for once even his neighbors were quiet.

In his opinion, Naruto was the friendliest and most unselfish person he had ever met, and the most co-operative employee their shabby office had seen so far. To think how unfairly he had been treated made blood boil in Gaara's veins. Why was it that those who were already leading difficult lives, were dragged down at every possible point?

One thing was sure though. Justice would prevail, even if a little bit of help was needed.

* * *

Around bedtime Gaara realized an unfortunate fact.

Both of his protective pajamas were in the hamper. Briefly he thought of digging them up until he recalled the soiled state he had left them in.

In defeat, he opted for a pair of boxers and a T-shirt which was a little too tight and a little too short for his liking. But given how his friend constantly strolled around in a similar outfit, he most likely wouldn't stand out in a bad way.

And just as he had guessed, Naruto didn't seem to notice anything different in him but only lounged on the bed, going through his phone. A little relieved, Gaara sat down on the bed, too.

Naruto put his phone away and moved closer to the wall, granting Gaara a wider space to sleep on. The redhead lay down and soon after a warm blanket was thrown over his underclad body.

But even warmer than the blanket was Naruto's whole being which radiated cozy hotness all over him. He was definitely like the sun, bright and warm and vital.

 _Vital?_

Gaara recoiled at his thoughts. What he had meant was that Naruto was the most precious person one could think of, with his sunny attitude and altruistic way of thinking. And the thought of someone hurting him made him unimaginably angry.

Rudolf the lamp stood in the corner of the room, even after it was past Christmas. When his friend had moved into Kankuro's place around New Year, Gaara had asked him to take the hideous piece of decoration with him.

The blond had only smiled and told him it was something that wouldn't suit in the brunet's decorative style.

 _Oh really?_

And thus the tacky thing had remained here, reminding him of the eternal-like vacation days they had spent together. In retrospect, maybe it wasn't such a bad thing, after all.

"I'll make sure Ino gets a warning or hopefully something worse," Gaara muttered and caressed Naruto's whiskered cheek comfortingly. But it looked like his words didn't bring the solace he had hoped.

"She's the manager's daughter. If someone's going to get in trouble, it'll be me," Naruto knew.

"Nonsense. That wouldn't be right," Gaara told.

"I know. But that's the way it is, I'm afraid. While I appreciate your concern and support, I wish you'd let me handle this on my own way, if that's okay?" the blond said quietly like he was apologizing.

It was hard for him to agree, but eventually Gaara nodded and let out a frustrated sigh. Even though his friend wasn't crying at the moment, he still traced his thumb along the underside of his eye, as if drying nonexistent tears. And while he knew he was certainly not the best person to console others, he wondered how his brother would've done the job.

As far as he knew, Naruto hadn't contacted his boyfriend tonight and told him about the crisis. And the lingering doubt in the back of his mind told him he never might. It wasn't any of his business, but he had noticed a certain distance between Naruto and Kankuro.

And while he really shouldn't concern himself with it, he couldn't wipe away the thought that their relationship didn't look like that of the most balanced. His brother had the upper hand when it came to financial stability, and for some reason Naruto willingly followed the absurd rules that had been made up.

No matter what his friend's reasons were to stay in that relationship, Gaara decided he would do his best to be a great friend for Naruto.

When the blond closed his eyes with a sigh and pressed his head against his chest, seeking for comfort no doubt, Gaara felt his heart jump at the sudden proximity. With shaking hand he smoothed down the blond locks and tried to massage his scalp in the same, calming way Naruto had done many, many times.

They were friends.

And he was going to be the best goddamned friend Naruto had ever had.

Nobody could take that away from him—not Ino, or the rest of their meaningless colleagues, or Kankuro.

Under the blanket, Naruto's hot hand rested on his side and thanks to the thinness of his shirt, he could feel him radiating all over his skin. Naruto slid his hand to his backside and Gaara's shirt rolled up a bit and exposed his skin to nothing in particular.

Nothing was touching his exposed skin, yet the closeness of Naruto was somehow detectable in every part of his body.

He missed his protective pajamas but even without them, he was feeling warm, _hot_. Maybe Naruto was getting fever again, or maybe it was just him?

And when the whiny snores eventually began, Gaara kept on holding his precious friend in his arms. Even though there was no actual reason for the awkwardness he was currently feeling, he couldn't let go of it.

Thought after another swirled in his head throughout the night, and even though he had slept surprisingly well during Christmas, in the next morning he couldn't say he had rested well.

When Naruto pointed it out at breakfast, Gaara was too tired to even glare.

Even though he was his best friend, he wasn't about to tell him what images in particular had kept him awake last night.

* * *

Three days after the incident, Naruto and Gaara were having lunch together.

Ino had not gotten out of it without a warning, and before Naruto had even had a chance to ask Gaara about this, it turned out that Lee from marketing had made a complaint against her.

But that was not what the gossip of the day was about.

Sure, the uncensored image of Naruto wouldn't fade away from the minds of their colleagues anytime soon, and the idea of Ino getting an actual scolding from the management was definitely something that had never happened before. But these things aside, there was something even juicier going on that was now on everyone's lips.

"You don't happen to know anything about it?" Naruto asked casually, but in his dark blue eyes there was a slightly disappointed look.

"Me? No. How would I?" Gaara only replied, catching a slice of tomato with a sharp poke of his fork.

Naruto didn't look convinced. With a strange mixture of resentment and amusement, he put the straw between his lips and slowly sucked his juice.

"Well, whoever was the mastermind behind it, I just want to say it was not the right thing to do," Naruto pointed out like a reasonable adult he was, but the twitch of a smile on his lips betrayed him.

"Of course it wasn't right. It was downright horrible," Gaara admitted calmly.

"Ino told someone put laxative on her smoothie," Naruto repeated the thing he had heard at the copy room. "But the others say it was more likely that it was her coffee that was… altered."

"Those two things don't necessarily exclude each other."

An impish glint lighted up in Naruto's eyes. "Are you saying someone put laxative to both on her smoothie _and_ her coffee?"

"I'm not saying anything. I'm just giving a logical approach to this gossip _you_ brought up in the first place," Gaara only said and sounded a bit hurt. But the way he quickly averted his gaze made Naruto wonder.

"She's pretty down about what happened next. They said she got a week-long extra holiday just because. I guess being the manager's daughter has its perks," Naruto mused wryly.

"I can imagine that shitting one's skirt in front of a conference room full of new customers can be pretty embarrassing," the redhead admitted stoically.

"That's a goddamned dirty trick," Naruto said accusingly, until he continued with a more casual, almost humorous tone, "Whoever did it, I mean."

"Yeah. It's strange how no one's ratted out anyone by now. Maybe they're all just so sick of her," Gaara wondered aloud and placed his fork and knife at five o'clock to signal he had finished eating.

* * *

 **A/N:** _About the lunchbox and metal (metal referring to the material of the lunchbox, not to a gun or anything, for god's sake). I got the idea/image from Marilyn Manson's song "Lunchbox" which is one of my favorite songs._

 _The next chapter is going to be a bit… uhm… restless._


	8. I'm Not Gay, But

**A/N:** _Here's chapter 8! Buckle your seatbelts. ;) This chapter has been hard to write, I hope I got all the emotions right and smooth. ^^" And I hope there's not too much sadness or drama idk? And sorry this is so long! D: I couldn't help it!_

 _A sincere thank you for everyone for reviewing/faving/following/reading! I appreciate you all very much! *heart*_

* * *

 **Chapter 8: I'm Not Gay, But…**

It was January 19th, his birthday.

Kankuro the blabbermouth had revealed this unnecessary piece of information to Naruto, who in turn had started fussing over the fact in a very expected way. Gaara's refusals had met deaf ears when he had expressed his distaste for such celebrations.

And that had led him standing in Kankuro's kitchen, an exuberant Naruto by his side. Thanks to some momentary insanity, Gaara had decided to abandon his usual formal dress code and instead attend this little celebration clad in his skinny jeans and a black V-neck shirt he had bought on impulse. Kankuro had not noticed anything out of ordinary on him, thankfully, but the way Naruto had quickly glanced at his throat made him long for his button-up shirt.

Kankuro was in the other room taking a call. A little cake made by Naruto stood in the middle of the table, but Gaara was more interested in the quality of coffee served, than any sugary treat.

Because of that, his gaze had instantly been glued to the brand new espresso machine that stood on the counter. Like bewitched he had made his way towards it, enchanted by the faint aroma of dark roast coffee that came from it.

"Is this the newest model?" Gaara asked in awe.

"Yeah, I guess it is. This makes the best coffee you can have," Naruto told and stood next to him, admiring the appliance.

In Gaara's opinion his friend was maybe standing a bit too close to him. Their shoulders were touching and their proximity just seemed unnecessary in this spacious kitchen. He was about to take a step away, when Naruto's friendly hand on his shoulder nullified his plans.

"This thing can also froth milk," Naruto explained and excitement danced in his blue eyes. His golden locks reached his eyebrows and even in the middle of winter he looked tanned. The azure crystal hung around his neck like a grand prize.

Gaara found it hard to tear his attention away from Naruto. What had gotten into him lately? All these weird thoughts and notions he had been making were something out of ordinary. Maybe this was what friendship was supposed to feel like?

When Naruto's hand left his shoulder a tiny wave of disappointment washed over him, for reasons too murky for him to see. He turned to look at his friend, only to see he had gone to the other side of the room in search of some napkins.

A second later, Kankuro walked into the kitchen.

The cake was delicious, Gaara had to admit and even though he wasn't one to enjoy sugary treats―or food in general―he found himself going for the seconds again. What was it in Naruto's cooking that made him do that?

When Naruto was busy with the dishes, Gaara and Kankuro were left sitting at the table all by themselves.

"So… How's mom and dad," Kankuro asked with visible reluctance.

And Gaara replied with equal unwillingness, "I haven't heard of them over a month or so."

Kankuro shot a dark, knowing glance at him, "That could mean they're doing fine…"

"…Or that they're dead," Gaara finished the thought left unsaid.

"If that was the case, surely somebody would've noticed and eventually informed us."

"Maybe," the redhead wondered, "But maybe _that_ would be the better option out of the two."

"Tell me about it," Kankuro sighed and glanced out of the window with his shoulders slumped. It seemed their home life wasn't completely washed out of him, either.

Some minutes were spent in mutual silence to give them time to erase all thoughts and memories of their unhappy family. Kankuro glanced over his shoulder at the happily humming blond, and then turned back to Gaara.

"You know… he can't stay here every night because of certain things," the brunet started uneasily. "I was thinking that maybe you could accommodate him in the meanwhile. I mean you have a spare bed and you're not living with anyone at the moment, are you?"

Gaara was a bit surprised by the request. Didn't his brother know that ever since New Year, Naruto had spent each and every one of his homeless nights at his place?

At the sink, Naruto had momentarily stopped humming.

"Sure. I don't mind," Gaara replied and sipped his coffee.

"Thanks," Kankuro smiled relievedly. Then he looked at the blond over his shoulder, "Isn't that great, Naruto?"

The blond only grinned in return.

* * *

In the evening the three of them were watching a movie on the couch. Naruto sat in the middle, munching butter-flavored popcorn hungrily no matter that he had just eaten half of a birthday cake. Gaara watched as the blond's greasy fingers reached for the remote but the brunet managed to snatch it out of his reach. With a sympathetic glare, Kankuro turned up the volume. Naruto thanked and wiped his buttery fingers on his pants.

Another phone call drew Kankuro out of the room. With an apologetic look on his face, he came back after a while and told them he had to quickly drop by at work. There was an emergency and Tenten and the others couldn't handle it by themselves.

Naruto's expression soured and the only reason Gaara noticed it was because he was sitting so close to him. Before the blond could speak out any cheery, altruistic reply, Kankuro was already out of the door.

Dark cloud hovered over Naruto for a while. Rather angrily, he bit the popcorns and his unfocused eyes stared at the television screen, seeing nothing.

"I don't mind if it's just the two of us," Gaara found himself saying. It was just an attempt to lift up the mood, nothing else.

Naruto's frustrated munching stopped and he turned his surprised eyes on him. There were at least three shades of blue in there, vivid and deep and rich. A crumb of popcorn fell from his cheek somewhere in between them.

"I'm sorry he had to leave," Naruto apologized for the brunet's sake, "And on your birthday, too."

"I don't care about either of those," Gaara told truthfully. "The only thing that matters…" he stopped in the middle of his sentence, as it dawned on him what he was about to say.

Lately, his thoughts had taken a strange turn and in the most unexpected places he could find an association to something Naruto had said or done. Like only yesterday when he had seen a yellow hot-air balloon sailing on a cloudless, azure sky. For some reason it had reminded him of Naruto.

Gaara cleared his throat, "The only thing that matters is that you didn't go too overboard with these arrangements." He was referring to Naruto's original plan of inviting people and taking the celebration out to a nice restaurant.

Naruto's grin grew wider and he pinched his cheek humorously. Gaara wasn't sure if he found the comedy in that but let his friend do it, anyway. When the blond saw his darkening expression, his smile turned even more luminous. Naruto was about the only person who he let get away with something like that.

"It feels like it has been forever since Christmas. I've missed our little holiday," the blond told.

"Me, too," Gaara admitted.

Just like Christmas and now his birthday, too, Naruto had made both celebrations special in a way only he could. When he suddenly realized that the next Christmas Naruto would be spending here instead of his place, he suddenly felt saddened.

But right before his depression could spiral out of control, a light touch on his knee brought him back to the present. What he expected to be a more permanent contact turned out to be just a quick, friendly pat meant to cheer him up.

"I wish life could always be like it was back in those days," Naruto confessed and now there was a hint of sadness in his voice, too.

"I know," Gaara agreed again, not sure if he would be comfortable with these confessions later on. But there was something in the air that made it easier for him to open up.

"You're very different from your brother."

"How so?"

"You tolerate my everyday side a lot better," the blond said like it was something humorous.

Gaara wasn't sure how to interpret that. "Is everything okay between you two?"

Naruto twiddled the hem of his shirt a while before replying, "I guess. It's just… he's been so busy with work lately. And that Tenten you probably remember from New Year's party has been calling him to work at evenings on a regular basis."

"Tenten? Was he the man with short, brown hair who kept on staring at Kankuro all evening?" Gaara asked.

Naruto fell silent all of a sudden. There was a confused look on his face.

"Just forget it," Gaara apologized and pondered if he should leave. It felt like a tempting idea, until he realized that it would only leave his friend sitting here all alone, wondering why his boyfriend was absent again.

"Look, let's not think about it anymore, alright? And hey, um, I wish this would stay just between us, okay? I don't want your brother to hear about my concerns," Naruto said finally and the cheery blue in his eyes had dulled into grayish navy.

Gaara wanted to wipe that private sorrow out of his face by telling him something encouraging instead.

"I'm sorry. But just so you know, this is the best birthday I've had so far and it's all thanks to you."

The change was instant and positive. There was no holding back that luminous, thankful smile on Naruto's face. His angelic aureole illuminated the whole room, the whole apartment, and Gaara longed for a pair of sunglasses and a tube of sunscreen. Otherwise, he surely would end up sunburned.

"Wanna hear about my worst birthday?" Naruto chuckled and leaned more comfortably against the cushions like he was the audience waiting for the show, and not the storyteller in the spotlight.

"It was my seventeenth birthday and back then mom was borderline obsessed about me not having a girlfriend yet. I was sick of her telling me the same story all over again, how she'd spent 10 hours pushing my big head out of her womb, and that the least I could do was to make her happy on one day of the year. So, I eventually agreed to ask the girl from next door to a drive-in movie," Naruto explained elaborately.

"She asked me if her boyfriend could come along. Her parents didn't know of the guy back then. It was just another secret kept from the world so I felt sympathy for her. Throughout the movie, they were making out in the backseat of my dad's car, while I sat in the front and ate three bowls of popcorn," the blond told, sighing at the end of the story like he was filled with nostalgia.

"I'm so sorry for you," Gaara said with a little amount of amusement. "If that was your worst, what was your best birthday?"

"I think it's yet to come," Naruto said with a confident smile, like he was promising himself that something good would come up if he only waited long enough.

"Hey Naruto…" Gaara started, his attention momentarily on the movie that played in the background, forgotten. "How did you know you were gay?"

It took Naruto by surprise, given how silent he was. When he spoke, his voice was careful and quiet like he didn't want anyone else to hear.

"It just… It was the only thing that felt right for me, being with another guy."

It sounded simple, albeit it probably had been a rocky path.

Gaara was unsure if he should just stop talking altogether but even so, he found himself asking, "Have you ever dated women?"

"I have. Once," Naruto told, "But it just never led anywhere, if you know what I mean."

The redhead nodded. He was about to ask something more, but managed to gulp down the words before they escaped his mouth. He had a vague feeling this conversation was making his friend uncomfortable.

But the expression on Naruto's face was warm and welcoming. "In the end, the only thing that matters is how you feel around that person. How your heart speeds up, how you feel absolutely delighted and frightened at the same time, how you feel all giddy and delirious and you end up acting like a total goof."

"Yeah... It was nothing like that with my ex-wife," Gaara sighed, like he was disappointed in himself. "Now in retrospect, she turned out to be nothing but a combination of my mom and dad. It makes me feel like a freak."

"Don't be too hard on yourself," Naruto comforted and there was his radiating smile again, "To me it sounds like safety and routines are top priority for you. There's nothing wrong with that."

Gaara sighed heavily and closed his eyes. "That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about it."

His friend seemed to consider this for a moment until he replied, "How did you get through the divorce?"

Gaara was quiet, as if he calculated what to tell. "When I realized that living with her was just the same as living with my parents all over again, I knew I had to get out. But I wouldn't have been able to get through it if my sister hadn't been there for me."

"She sounds like a nice person."

"Yes she is, when she's on your side. Here's a friendly advice: don't cross her," Gaara told. "Thanks to how we grew up, she refuses to take shit from anyone. And insulting, drunken people are like a big, red flag for her."

"I can imagine," the blond said quietly and his eyes held the kindest look. His whole being reminded Gaara of summer. Hell, Naruto was the embodiment of summer, where ever he went. He was the never-setting sun and the searchlight of the lighthouse that cut through the night with astonishing ease.

Gaara frowned at his irrational thoughts. "Divorce made me cautious of people. It's hard to trust others, and it's hard to trust on my own ability to judge someone's character."

"Hey, it's alright. Everyone goes wrong once in a while," Naruto assured. "You can trust your instincts. Someone like you won't end up alone."

"But it's not easy. People are shallow and selfish, including myself," Gaara whispered, staring at the screen rather than at his friend.

"You're not shallow or selfish," Naruto corrected and placed his fingertip on the redhead's forehead. "You just keep on having these false perceptions about yourself in your head but remember, you're a great guy and a wonderful friend."

Gaara was momentarily captured by the depth in his friend's gaze. His heart was pounding for no reason at all and it only got stronger the longer he stayed in Naruto's sunlight.

It was too much in a very strange way and Gaara wondered if he should leave.

"Don't go."

Naruto's sad blue eyes were more tempting than any river he had seen. Quickly, Gaara averted his gaze but no sound came from his suddenly dry throat.

While the movie played on the screen, Gaara noticed his friend was sitting perhaps a little closer now than before. Naruto's hand rested on the back of the couch, just behind Gaara's head. Every now and then, a friendly ruffle on his hair happened, and Gaara found himself not bothered by it. When his friend's fingers eventually stayed longer and longer in his hair, he relaxed and leaned maybe a little closer to Naruto.

This was like a scalp massage and with a deep breath he closed his eyes.

When he opened them, it was only to notice azure gaze resting on him comfortably, without any trace of hesitation or untruthfulness. That was what Naruto was, honest and reliable. But then his eyes turned one shade darker.

"I have to confess something, Gaara."

That glint in the bottom of deepest blue caught his attention like a magnet.

"What is it?" the redhead asked, not sure if the deadpan look on his face was as perfect as he imagined. Heat found its way to his cheeks like an invisible hand was touching them tenderly.

A guilty look crossed Naruto's face, but then some sort of hidden amusement took over.

"Unlike on Christmas, this time I forgot to get you a present."

Gaara let out a poignant huff and suddenly the blush that had threatened to surface felt like the stupidest thing ever. "I don't care about presents, Naruto. I thought you'd know that by now."

"You seemed to like the picture I gave you," the blond only reminded.

"Well… Yeah, that was an exception," Gaara reluctantly admitted, "But I was not really expecting a birthday gift, anyway."

"I forgot to get you one, and I'm sorry. But don't worry, I'll make it up to you in any way you want," Naruto whispered with a mix of mischievousness and flirt.

Gaara rolled his eyes, for he knew his friend was only joking. The goofball was as it, again. But then Naruto leaned closer and drove away the little certainty Gaara still possessed. The last whiff of his breath hit against Gaara's lips and suddenly the world shrunk to the size of the couch.

"All you need to do is say what you want," Naruto said sensually and this time Gaara failed to see the humor that had to be hidden within those words.

There was no doubt of it. Healthy, uninvited blush was living on Gaara's cheeks. He could sense it just by the embarrassing heat on his skin, and even though they weren't touching each other, he could feel Naruto all over him.

"For god's sake, stop doing things like that," Gaara told and his face twisted into a soft scowl.

Naruto leaned away with a friendly chuckle, and it annoyed Gaara more than ever that on those whiskered cheeks, no trace of embarrassment was visible. It was not fair.

"Um, Na-Naruto," Gaara whispered like he was suddenly very innocent. Naruto's head snapped at his way quickly like someone had mentioned ramen around lunchtime. Gaara bit his inner cheek in order to hide his amusement. Who was the idiot now?

Gaara leaned closer to him, holding his innocent look. Azure depths ignited and Naruto's attentive gaze was nailed on his slightly parted lips, on his half-lidded eyes.

 _What a hopeless fool._

"Would you like to… you know," Gaara whispered, absentmindedly touching his collarbone like it was something accidental, and the bewildered look on Naruto's face was absolutely priceless. The dry gasp that struggled its way out of Naruto's throat was a victory enough for Gaara, and with a satisfied smirk he leaned away from him.

Until Naruto seized his wrist.

The blond looked desperate and alive at the same time, like a tiger hanging on a cliff, fearing for a fall that was just as plausible as it was painful. Naruto cupped his cheek, as if he was unsure Gaara was really there. His trembling thumb smoothed over his skin, and the hold on Gaara's wrist momentarily tightened when the redhead absentmindedly licked his dry lips.

And Gaara liked to tell himself afterwards, at home when he was all alone, that in that moment he had not really leaned closer, but _further away_ , and if anything, he had felt _pity_ towards Naruto over any other emotion.

Naruto pulled him closer until Gaara was hovering over him on all-fours. Lying on his back on the couch like he had surrendered, the blond looked innocent and hopeless. He was not the pushy guy who had the guts to hold him close while skating, and Gaara felt almost sorry for seeing him like that.

Until Naruto touched the small of his back and then his thumb vanished under the hem, brushing against his skin and making shivers run all over his body. Gaara placed his palm against Naruto's chest, just for the act of it, for even though he had started the joke this time, he was scared to admit that Naruto was rapidly getting ahead of him again.

He wondered if he should retreat and call this ridiculous thing off, but just then Naruto pulled him closer to lie on top of him. He stared at those vivid blue depths more closely than perhaps ever before. How could it be Naruto was so warm? Gaara felt like an icicle melting on a radiator, slowly but inevitably. And he tried to remind himself that he didn't care for this at all, that Naruto was just an annoying nuisance making a joke, until that goof's hot, trembling hand dived under his shirt, caressing his backside and sending a swarm of shivers into motion. Gaara couldn't choke back the gasp that shot through his lips and to Naruto's face.

When he later on recalled this moment by himself, he was quick to tell that by this point, he had confidently pushed himself away from the blond and smacked him on the head.

"N-Naruto…" he whispered and stayed, a thing Gaara later on debated had even happened.

When he squirmed, Naruto squirmed under him too. The shy blush on his tanned face was unseen and beautiful. Cerulean depths stared at him with transfixing intensity and Gaara was starting to think that the joke behind this all had gotten lost. The scent of Naruto's god-awful soap floated in his nose and Gaara buried his face in the crook on his neck. Up this close, the scent was just so strong it threatened to narcotize him. He stayed, and the warm hands holding his bared back stayed, too.

It was only when Gaara felt a slight brush of Naruto's lips on his neck that he flinched away to the other end of the couch. Naruto looked scared, too.

"S-Sorry," Naruto apologized, breathless.

"What the hell is wrong with you," Gaara snapped like this was all Naruto's fault, born out of his initiative.

"I know, I'm sorry," the blond whispered, and when the redhead only glared at him, he leaned closer and cupped Gaara's cheek. The blue in his eyes was warm and fiery, like a boiling ocean.

Gaara stared at him hazily but all words died and crawled somewhere, hidden, and he couldn't find them anymore. Naruto's breath was on his lips, all over him, and his backside shivered from the memory of his touch.

At home, at night, Gaara furiously told him it never happened. Yet even so it always popped up to the surface and caused a tingle in his guts, and lower, which was not totally unwelcomed.

Naruto's lips pressed against his to a sweet, tender kiss. Naruto's fingers got lost in his hair when he gently held him close, searching for any signal that this was somehow unwished. But such message never came, no matter the version of reality Gaara later on stuck to in his thoughts, and when Naruto brushed his tongue against Gaara's teeth, asking, Gaara let him in.

He was leaning against the cushions and Naruto lay between his legs, on top of his chest, holding his head and cheeks and hair and his restless breath was on his lips, in his mouth and it felt like it was all over some other places, too.

One detail Gaara was sure to avoid returning later on.

Naruto was hard. He could feel it like it was a promise of something forbidden.

"I can feel you too, Gaara," Naruto breathed in his ear and then tilted up Gaara's head and kissed along his jawline. But such thing felt a little too personal to be let others known. Gaara touched Naruto's cheek, tenderly making him stop. They stared at each other for a while. The carefree cerulean had dimmed into restrained navy and the goddamned soap scent had stuck to Gaara's clothes and to his skin.

"Get off me," Gaara said and pushed his friend away. He was getting angry, maybe more at himself than at Naruto, for letting this _joke_ get as far as this. They were just friends, for god's sake, and something like this was never meant to happen.

"I'm sorry," Naruto said but he didn't sound apologetic.

"You should be," Gaara heard himself say, but didn't stop there, "What got into you? And what would Kankuro say if he knew."

He knew he was acting unfair and the pained look on his friend's face confirmed it. A lopsided, hurt smile came to Naruto's lips before he replied.

"I know. I went way out of my line."

Strangely enough those words never eased the guilt rooting itself on Gaara's heart. He shivered and wished Naruto would comfort him, yet at the same time he knew he'd push him away. The tremble in his guts refused to subside, and he touched his lips just to forget that tainted memory of Naruto's mouth on his. Things like these were not supposed to happen. He didn't want this, or need this.

"Want to watch another movie?" Naruto asked in a calm way but there was something opposite in his eyes, veiled behind that sunny mask.

But Gaara didn't feel like finding out what it was. His chest hurt, for more reasons than one. Every scratchy noise of the air ventilation system sounded like the rasp of Kankuro's keys in the lock.

The movie played on the screen but it felt like neither of them could concentrate.

"We're still friends, are we?" Naruto asked.

Gaara pretended not to hear the desperation in his voice. Such thing only made him more uneasy than he already was.

"Of course," he replied eventually. Even though there was no way he'd ever let his friend know it but he could not let Naruto go.

"Good," the blond sighed, and his relief eased out the knot in Gaara's guts, too. "But… you know, if you don't feel like accommodating me at your place anymore after this, I understand. I could always ask if your brother let me stay here for the whole week."

"Don't bother," the redhead said.

The smile on Naruto's face was too faint to be considered happy, but it was still there.

The front door clicked and someone came in. By the time Kankuro walked into the living room, Naruto was sitting on the opposite end of the couch.

Gaara tried to pay as little attention to them as possible. Suddenly the movie was the most interesting thing ever, and he immersed himself in the poorly-written dialogue and the foreseeable plot-twists. In his peripheral vision, he saw Kankuro pull Naruto into a one-arm hug. Not that he was looking at them, but he happened to notice how his brother's thumb drew circles on Naruto's inner thigh, a thing that made the blond blush. It looked like Naruto was about to say something, but then Kankuro kissed him on the lips.

Gaara wanted to look away.

When Kankuro noticed him staring he wanted to disappear. Quickly, he glued his attention back to the television screen.

Later, Gaara was standing in the hallway, slowly buttoning up his woolen coat. Naruto looked pale like a ghost and for once, he was eerily quiet. Kankuro pulled Gaara into one last hug, wishing him happy birthday, and Gaara froze, afraid that his brother would recognize the traitorous scent soaked in his skin, in his hair.

"Gaara… I'm sorry I have been so distant over the past years. I never meant to, it just happened. I've missed you, and the times we had."

"You have?" Gaara asked, his voice quiet and tight.

"Yeah," Kankuro laughed but no one participated. "Do you still remember when you took part in all the rehearsals?"

Gaara nodded stiffly.

"And do you remember all those nights we spent in a tent, in the backyard, reading ghost stories with a flashlight on?" Kankuro went on, unaware of the knot that kept on squeezing his little brother's guts.

"You were so scared you crawled into my sleeping bag," Kankuro laughed and the redhead lowered his face in shame and annoyance. This was not something Gaara wanted Naruto to hear. And in a moment like this, the last thing he wanted was to be reminded of all the good moments his older brother had shared with him.

The last thing he saw was his brother's smiling face and the mute, pale blond standing in the shadows.

On his way home, his guts ached like someone was gripping them in a fist.

* * *

At the copy machine, Ino approached Gaara with her head held high. Hinata was trailing behind her in her usual shy manner.

"Good morning, Gaara," the blonde woman chirped a bit too slyly.

With a cold glare, Gaara only nodded at her, not wasting his energy for an actual greeting. And given what she had done to Naruto, that pitiful excuse of a human being didn't deserve his reply.

"Did you sleep well? You look more rested than usual," Ino chatted while taking her copies. Behind her back, Hinata twiddled her fingers nervously.

Again, Gaara ignored the both of them. It was nobody's business whether or not he had slept better recently.

"The rumor says Naruto's homeless," Ino said and when Gaara turned to glare at her, the smirk on her face only widened. "And they say he's living with you."

"That's none of your business," Gaara said chillingly.

Ino ignored the threat completely. "Who would've guessed that divorced Mr. Sabaku has switched teams, hmm?"

"I-I-Ino…" Hinata stuttered nervously, clearly attempting to calm down her nosy friend. "T-That's t-too much."

Before either of the women could say anything more, Gaara shot them both a death glare and walked briskly out of the copy room. They were not worth his time. None of these people were, in fact, except Naruto of course.

His anger refused to subside even when he was now sitting at his desk and staring at the document he was working on. Gossipers were the lowest cast at workplaces, and someone like Ino was certainly the uncrowned queen of all lowlifes.

Naruto was friendly and caring and a joy to this world and without him this lowly excuse of an office would be a much darker place. Unlike _certain people_ , Naruto wanted to harm no one and only tried to survive each day his unfair life threw in front of him. It was a complete mystery how the blond could keep his positive attitude so bright even in the middle of hardships. Gaara for sure would have lost his optimism long time already if he were in Naruto's shoes.

Later in the afternoon he saw Naruto in passing. It was just a brief glimpse of his smile, which seemed to be directed only at him, that made him suddenly feel like he was walking in the air. It made him feel special in a way he hadn't felt in a long time.

Naruto was his dear friend and out of all the sociable people around this place, had chosen him to spend his free time with.

The rest of the day he spent drifting in and out of thoughts of Naruto. His smile was so honest and warm, pure luxury compared to the sour faces of every other people in this grey city. His earlier anger had subsided somewhere in the background as images of Naruto grinning with his thumb up filled up his head.

Around Naruto, he felt special and appreciated.

And he wanted him to feel the same. He would protect him from the scumbags that called themselves employees of this place, and from the other kind of lowlifes that would try to take advantage of his homelessness.

He was so immersed in his thoughts that he didn't notice the person standing right next to his cubicle.

"Umm… Gaara?" the person asked again.

Slowly, Gaara turned his head their way.

Azure. Pure, untainted azure. Golden locks spiky and wild like meadows of wheat. Tanned skin smooth and soft-looking, reminding him of bronze statues ancient cultures eternalized their gods into. And that hideous, glaring orange that suited him so well that he had no choice but to love it, too.

 _W-What?_

Quickly Gaara turned his head away before the hotness on his face could be seen by anyone.

"What is it, Naruto?" he asked extremely calmly while pretending to read the papers that were scattered all over his desk.

"Here's your charger back. Thanks for lending it," Naruto said with his brow raised skeptically. With that said, he started slowly making his way back to his desk. Gaara was sure that one last glance from him lasted longer than usually. Annoyed, he rubbed his cheeks in hopes of cooling them down.

 _This is stupid. What the hell is wrong with me?_

* * *

After work, Gaara made his way through the parking lot. A friendly 'hey' from the other end made him stop. Naruto was waving at him in the distance. He was standing in the corner of the building, almost hidden from the general view of traffic and passersby.

"Are you heading to the train station?" Gaara asked, hopeful.

"Not today. Kankuro is picking me up. We're going to look for a new carpet," the blond told, going through his phone before pocketing it.

Gaara lowered his gaze in defeat, "Are you really interested in something like that?"

"Heh, no I'm not, to be honest. And I'm sure we'll have to go through quite a selection before he finds the right shade of beige."

"I didn't know there was more than one," Gaara snorted.

"Me neither," the blond smiled disarmingly. "Hey, would you like to come along?"

"Not today," the redhead told and turned slightly away from the blond, his attention on the emotionless cars, that stood parked all around them, rather than on the pure azure that was constantly staring at him.

"Please, Gaara. Save me from the boredom," Naruto pleaded. He had stepped closer once again.

But Gaara kept his emotional distance and refused to budge. "Have you told Kankuro?"

"I won't."

"Why?" Gaara asked.

Naruto's happiness lost its luminosity and it dulled into private pain. "Because what happened was a mistake, right? Wasn't that what you meant back then?"

The redhead neither confirmed nor denied it. He glanced around the parking lot but no one was there—no black Mercedes to abruptly end their little conversation.

"Do you want me to tell him?" Naruto asked almost defensively.

"No, for god's sake," Gaara said and once again it felt like a fist was gripping his guts.

"Do you really think it was a mistake?" Naruto confronted him again.

"Yes," Gaara retorted, his tone cool and void of any warm shades. His guts ached when he saw the hurt blossoming in those cerulean depths. Naruto looked like someone had just slapped him in the face.

"I don't know," Gaara corrected, not sure anymore how he was supposed to feel. But just then Kankuro's shiny car floated to their vision like a graceful ship. Gaara felt seasick already. And a glance at Naruto told him his friend wasn't feeling any better, either.

"Please," the blond whispered, keeping his eyes on the black vehicle that was about to be parked right in front of them.

"Alright," Gaara gave in, and together, they got on the back seat.

To Gaara's surprise, Kankuro seemed to be oddly relieved that he was accompanying them. When they arrived at the first store, which was located in some kind of a shopping center, Gaara noticed how Naruto kept on walking a few steps behind Kankuro, head hung and his hands deep in his pockets. It was obvious the blond soon lost his interest among the selection of carpets. Naruto suppressed a yawn and his blue eyes began to wander, searching for something he could occupy himself with—until his gaze landed on Gaara.

When Kankuro eventually noticed the two of them loitering around in a bored fashion, snickering at something only they knew of, he abandoned his quest for a while and made his way towards them. Instantly Gaara tensed and leaned away from his friend.

"Hey Gaara," the brunet began and the redhead held his breath, "There's a café nearby. If you don't mind, you could take Naruto there." And then Kankuro's dark gaze quickly went over the slack blond who was sitting on a pile of carpets, gazing up at the ceiling.

Silently the friends made their way to the café. Naruto's hands were even deeper in his pockets and he seemed to be fuming.

"What's wrong?" Gaara asked.

It looked like Naruto was about to say something, but decided in the last moment to shut up. Instead of speaking out his mind, he settled for, "Nothing's wrong. I'm just a little tired, that's all."

But that was hardly the case.

"If it's about Kankuro, you're free to criticize him," Gaara told.

Naruto stopped. "I'm hardly the one who can criticize others. And your brother's kind enough to offer me accommodation for free."

"To me it sounded like he wanted me to babysit you," Gaara said flatly and the way Naruto's eye twitched told him he had hit a nerve.

"He just didn't want me to get bored, okay? And it was nice of him to let us go, since we were no help anyway."

"Why do you keep defending him?" the redhead asked.

Blue eyes darkened. "I am not defending him. I'm just explaining how things are."

"You're lying."

Hurt flashed across Naruto's face but it was gone as soon as it had appeared. Now he looked angry with a fluctuating amount of panic in him.

"Yeah, I am lying _to him_. And it makes me sick. Not only because I betrayed his trust, but because he's your brother, and now you know exactly what kind of a rotten person I am."

"You're not rotten," Gaara cut in, and looked compassionately at his friend. The blond's anger seemed to soften, too, and his shoulders relaxed.

"I can't lose that place," Naruto said quietly like he was ashamed, "No matter what, I can't be homeless again."

Gaara wanted to point out that he was still partially homeless, given how he couldn't stay there every day, and how all his mail was still sent to a postal box somewhere else. But instead of depressing his friend with these facts, he said something else.

"You could always move to my place, if you want."

He expected Naruto to smile warmly, to pull him into a tight embrace that left him breathless, before accepting the offer with overflowing thankfulness.

Instead, Naruto looked pained and sad. There was a smile, yes, but it was more bittersweet than anything.

"I can't move in with you."

"And why not?" Gaara asked, a little upset.

Naruto just shook his head like it was clear. Gaara frowned, not understanding at all.

"Our friendship is a thing I value most in this world. I'd hate to jeopardize it. And if I move in with you, it'll happen," the blond explained calmly, but there was evident melancholy in his tone of voice.

"What do you mean?" Gaara asked, leaning closer as if he could intimidate the truth out of him.

Carefree cerulean darkened into vivid cobalt, and something dangerous swam in those blue depths. The look on Naruto's face was impassioned, until pain dimmed it down to bittersweet amusement. He leaned closer to Gaara, and suddenly their closeness felt dangerous.

"Gaara," Naruto whispered in his ear and the redhead shivered. Without intention, Gaara leaned closer to his friend, allured by their risky proximity. Naruto took his hand and squeezed it, his breath ghosting in his ear, reminding Gaara all too well of what had happened on his birthday… He was just about to lean his weight against Naruto's steady chest, when the blond spoke again.

"You're asking me to put up with your morning grumpiness, and your noontime grouchiness, not to mention the sourness you seem to radiate throughout all evening. Added to that, you snore. Loudly."

"You're the one who snores loudly," Gaara snapped and distanced himself at once from the annoying blond. Naruto only chuckled at his reaction. It made Gaara fume. Once again, that… that _bully_ had managed to awaken these sensations in him, only to drop him to the ground in the next second. And the vilest thing was that he did it on purpose.

Naruto laughed out loud at the pouting redhead who was gritting his teeth in visible annoyance.

"Maybe I wouldn't be so grumpy if _you_ weren't so annoying all the time," Gaara retorted sourly.

But it was a mistake.

With a luminous smile, Naruto came closer to him again and his voice in his ear was like honey, "I agree. And if I recall right, on your birthday neither of us was grumpy nor annoying."

"Stop bringing it up," Gaara barked and pushed him away. Heat burned on his cheeks and he wasn't sure which thing made him more frustrated: that Naruto managed to coax these reactions out of him, or that his friend had once again turned down his suggestion of shared accommodation.

At the café, they enjoyed their coffee in silence. It was only when Kankuro joined them that Naruto suddenly excused himself and headed for the restroom.

Kankuro sat down at the table with his coffee, lazily glancing at the redhead.

"Did you find the right one yet?" Gaara asked, referring to the carpet.

"Nah. Still looking," Kankuro admitted and sipped his drink, his gaze roaming over the occupied tables.

The redhead glanced at the direction of the restroom, but no mop of blond hair was coming their way yet.

"Why won't you let Naruto stay at your place for the whole week?" he asked, sounding a bit tighter than he intended.

Kankuro's dark gaze was on him quickly, clearly not pleased by the topic. "You know how people are, how keen they are on gossiping."

"I know," for Gaara really did know all too well, "But I thought you two were supposed to be living together."

"Are you upset I asked you to accommodate him?" his brother asked rather pointedly.

"No. To me it just looks like you're ashamed of him," the redhead said with a voice notch lower than normally.

"Come on, you make me sound like a bad guy," Kankuro whined and glanced around. When no blond man was coming their way, he whispered, "Naruto's a guy. I can't be associated with someone like him. Not yet."

Gaara gripped his mug tighter, even though his reaction was most likely a secret only he knew of.

"When will you be ready to come out as a couple?" he asked as hotness from the mug seeped into his skin.

"Look, maybe the time will come, I don't know. To me it looks like things are open at the moment and no one knows what will happen," Kankuro pondered and his indecisiveness was greatly annoying to a certain redhead.

"It'll be four or five months until our divorce is final. After that I'm a free man."

"Naruto told me you were planning to go undercover for a year," Gaara pointed out.

"Yeah, maybe we have discussed something like that," Kankuro told and avoided any exactness, "I think you get it why I have to be careful, don't you?"

"Once Mrs. Haruno is off your back, I don't see any reason for not living your life as you please," Gaara only replied.

"Wrong. Ever since I got this new job at the conglomerate owned by Kiba Inuzuka's family, I have a certain reputation to keep. Being openly gay is not a part of it," Kankuro explained.

"And didn't you tell me you weren't gay in the first place," the redhead reminded wryly.

"That's right. And now you should understand why the arrangement between me and Naruto has to be as delicate as it is."

"Is he okay with that?" Gaara continued his questioning.

"Well yeah, he is," Kankuro sounded annoyed and before the redhead could launch another question, he stood up and started making his way out. Gaara wanted to follow him, but decided to stay and wait for his friend instead.

* * *

At home, Gaara was too restless to read a book. No matter how fascinating that one prize-winning novel was, it just couldn't hold his interest at the moment.

And no matter how much he told himself to stop, images of Naruto kept on popping up in his head. He stared at the page as if willing his mind to go blank, but instead he saw Naruto's smiling eyes in the 'nn' that was woven into the word 'annoyance'. He slammed the book shut and closed his eyes.

But Naruto appeared in front of him again, this time in a shape of memory. Defeated blue eyes were looking past him, at something Gaara couldn't see. The smell of carpets wafted into Gaara's nose like he was still in that shop. The moment Naruto's gaze met his, he seemed to forget his sorrow, or whatever it was behind his anxiety back then, and his irises turned into the friendliest, liveliest shade of blue Gaara had ever seen.

That stare could enliven even the dead.

An elixir of revival was coursing in Gaara's veins the longer he stayed in that image. But then Naruto's lips were on his again, and Gaara blinked his eyes open wide, escaping.

Accusingly he stared at the abandoned book like this was all its fault. And maybe it was. He liked to think so, rather than to ponder about other options. Just to be sure, he pushed the book further away with his foot and placed his laptop on his legs. In his almost sound-proof closet, hidden from the glare of the world, he soon found himself following a little rotating symbol that told him a video was uploading.

Gaara turned the volume down in advance before cautiously playing the video. He was only curious, there was nothing else to it. Was it really so wrong to broaden his view of the world? Tch. Hardly.

Two very naked men were getting it on in a locker room, on his computer screen.

He felt nothing. He was not aroused the least bit, and he certainly was not affected by the heavy gasps that sounded unnaturally timed given the context. But he soon got over that little flaw, furiously wanting to prove to himself that things like _these_ didn't turn him on at all. He was certainly not drawn into this, and the fact that one actor was a blond was purely a coincidence.

Naruto was blond too, and it was just another coincidence the world was full of. And the little husky breaths that had left Naruto when Gaara had squirmed on top of him were a strange thing to remember right now. Naruto had sounded nothing like these guys doing it, his voice had been a mixture of genuine surprise and unraveling want, when it had walked along his skin and ended up in his ear, only to be infuriatingly trapped into his memories.

And how could it be that even in this tightly locked closet, it felt like Naruto was here with him, his ghost of a breath tickling his neck and his invisible hands traveling down his arms, turning his skin to goose bumps. Maybe it was just his own breath on his own lips, but eerily it felt like that soft, skillful mouth of Naruto's was already on his, until the blond's lips would find his throat, his collarbone, and―

"For god's sake!" Gaara growled and closed his browser. When the lack of sound and picture didn't satisfy his racing heart enough, he slammed his laptop shut and pushed it away. Naruto was all over him, in his head, on his skin like a ghost, tormenting him in a way only he could.

He was not proud of himself, and he would rather die than to ever confess his upcoming plans to another living soul. Ache was painfully evident in his pants and when he finally gave in and touched himself, the memory of Naruto's heavy hand on his chest made him hiss in anticipation.

It was ridiculous how much he missed his dildo, but he sure as hell wouldn't go and get it, or wait for any more minutes to prepare himself for it. No, this time his hand would have to do, and the luxury of being filled would be left for another day, or for another one-night stand if he was lucky enough.

As long as he got what he wanted out of it, he didn't care what else was done to him. A little ashamedly he remembered his latest sexual encounter, which had not happened in Naruto's presence. It had been that forty-something he had met online, the one who had left him in a depressed state which Naruto had later on fixed in a way only he could.

Thankfully, there weren't many memories of that tryst in the first place, for the pill he had taken without further questions made the images of that night vague like a distant dream. She had taken the lead right away, a thing he had wished for and also something they had previously agreed upon. If his memory served him right, he had spent the better part of the night with his hands tied to the headboard of the bed. With a butt plug inside of him, he had tried to make himself as comfortable as possible.

Even though many parts of that embarrassing encounter were now permanently veiled in oblivion, there were some elements he recalled with startling accuracy. When he had moved his hips, the butt plug had caused some pleasurable sensations. Maybe it was the feeling of being filled, he didn't really know, but it got him hard either way. And she used it to her advantage in a way Gaara was happy to have mostly forgotten.

There had been something extremely satisfying when the butt plug was replaced with a slick dildo that kept on hitting against his prostate. It was just the right angle, one he had difficulties achieving alone because he had to bend his back into awkward position and his hands just couldn't reach the dildo the way he wanted to.

But when the angle was right… it just felt really, really good.

It was the best thing ever.

And he wondered if the two guys visiting his screen had ever felt like that.

 _Did Naruto ever feel like that?_

No! Quickly, Gaara evicted his inappropriate thoughts and went back to reminiscing about that questionable encounter. She had let him enjoy the dildo, clearly a little surprised how hard it got him, but by that point Gaara had been too far gone to feel ashamed. He knew he'd be sore in the morning, but whatever drug she had offered him, blurred his worries into an undefined heap he couldn't get a grip of.

Still tied on the headboard, he had let it all happen until it became too much and he had no choice but to come.

'You're a good boy,' she had whispered and pulled the toy out of him, before placing a kiss on his forehead. 'You remind me of my son.'

And in that moment, a nauseating feeling had overcome him and Gaara had wanted to sink to the bottom of the deepest sea.

But now, in the heat of his closet, sea blue eyes of imaginary Naruto were evaluating him, undressing him in a way that made Gaara blush. He felt like an idiot, yet this notion changed nothing.

Gaara touched his chest, only to drive away the memory of Naruto's hand of course, and in his mind the generic moans of professional actors morphed slowly into those genuine ones of his friend. Blush was painted on Naruto's cheeks, he was shirtless and on top of Gaara, pinning down his wrists, and the azure crystal was hanging around his neck and jumping recklessly along with his heated thrusts.

It didn't need more than that for Gaara to come with a long hiss.

His whole body was shaking, he was soaking in sweat and his frenetic heartbeat was borderline unhealthy.

The evidence of his eruption was there, yet in the back of his mind dissatisfaction lingered. This was not enough, yet in a way this was way too much. Before shame and anger could root themselves into his heart again, he let a brief image of Naruto visit his thoughts.

Naruto's hands would be all over him, pulling him close and his soft lips would be whispering sweet little words in his ear. His cobalt gaze would be weakened by satisfaction, and his sleepy sigh would hold a fraction of unrestrained passion.

 _Who's the fool now?_

But Gaara felt too mellow to scold himself for this momentary weakness.

* * *

All day Kankuro had been drowning himself in paperwork. Changing his name was a surprisingly complicated process―not that it was really a shock to him, given how he had survived it already once before.

But starting from today, he was officially Kankuro Sabaku again.

Currently he was screwing Naruto in their spacious bathroom. The blond was leaning stomach first against the trendy tiles, eyes wide shut.

"Ah… yes, Mr. Sabaku," Naruto moaned, sounding aroused.

That seductive voice made his heart skip a beat. Never before had this guy called him that, and it had been a long while since he had heard such passion leak into his voice. It was arousing as hell. On Naruto's cheeks there was a definite blush and his eyes were closed like he was ashamed. Kankuro had no choice but to give in to the unexpected excitement that coursed in his veins.

"Mr. Sabaku… please," the blond gasped and Kankuro squeezed his hips tighter.

There was no chance in hell he would last much longer if the blond kept on talking to him like that.

As if sharing his mood, Naruto's moans soon melted into incoherent mess, his words broken and fleeting, "Oh G-Ga- _God_."

It was way too stimulative to hear him like that. Kankuro couldn't stop repeating his sultry voice in his mind all over again. It was too much. He lost himself in it and came in record time.

"Shit… the condom broke," Kankuro muttered when he pulled out.

Naruto turned around and faced him with a seductive look, "Oops. But I'm sure you'll be a great dad."

That combination of humor and seductiveness was absolutely arousing. The way Naruto looked up at him with his sultry yet innocent face got a long-lost emotion blossom in his heart again. For the most of the time Naruto was quite clueless but on some occasions, he really knew which strings to pull.

"I can finish you with my hand," Kankuro suggested, looking down at the blond's erection.

But Naruto only shook his head, an unreadable smile on his lips, and turned on the shower.

Now they were lying in the bathtub like in good old times, Naruto on top of him and adoring him with his insatiable puppy eyes. It had been a while since he had received such attention.

"Call me by that name again," Kankuro murmured softly.

A look not so innocent crossed Naruto's face, "Only if you let me do it to you. From behind, just the way you like it."

That adoring look was too irresistible to say no to, "Fine. Just give me half an hour and then we can go again."

* * *

Naruto's request to turn off the lights had been a little uncommon but Kankuro had happily complied, for it felt like what they were about to do was better off kept in the dark anyway.

It had surprised him how gentle and caring Naruto had been when he had prepped him for this. When the blond pushed into him, calling him by that new and exciting name as promised, a chill of pleasure ran down his spine. For someone so clueless and innocent, Naruto certainly knew where to aim to get those few extra moans out of him.

"Mr. Sabaku…" the blond whispered sultrily and his warm hands caressed his hips tenderly.

To have him do _this_ to him while calling him by his surname was a strange combination of respect and domination. Of course, he was instantly turned on by it.

Naruto seemed to be reaching his climax surprisingly fast. His moans grew uncontrolled and airy and the gentle squeeze on his hips had turned into a demanding grip. It was like all the passion Naruto had preserved was about to erupt.

"Mr. Sabaku, I l-love you―!"

In the middle of the cacophony that was their heated moans, Naruto reached his climax while repeating his new name over and over again. To hear such passion in his voice after so long was like having rain on the desert.

Once dulled feelings began to blossom in Kankuro's chest. Naruto was such an angel. Such a clueless, foolish angel and he could never grow tired of seeing that unadulterated passion that had been in the air tonight.

Naruto looked ashamed yet innocent, like a blushing virgin or someone shy and submissive. Currently he was nothing like the goof that left his dirty socks scattered all over the place but an elegant seducer he had met in the beginning.

Maybe it wouldn't be too bad to let him stay here for a few more days a week.

* * *

"Naruto, for the millionth time, wake up!"

The blond in question blinked his eyes open only to meet an angry glare directed at his way.

"It's already fifteen past seven. Get up!" Gaara ordered and stomped around the room in search of his watch.

Naruto rubbed his eyes and yawned, but when the vicious glare stopped on him again, he quickly abandoned his laziness and hopped out of the bed.

When Gaara noticed he was about to undress his T-shirt, he barked annoyedly, "You don't have time to shower, Naruto, or have any breakfast. Now hop into your clothes. We're out of the door in five."

Not daring to disobey, the blond fought his way into his orange chinos and then went over the heap of clothes he had left on top of the coffee table last night. His button-up shirt was a little wrinkled but would have to do. The hasty jingle of keys told him Gaara was already at the door and he had run out of time.

With a slice of bread in his mouth, Naruto ran after Gaara on the street. During the past two weeks the redhead had been on an exceptionally grumpy mood in the morning. No more than a wrong-timed joke or a friendly pat on the shoulder was needed to make him erupt, and from experience Naruto knew to stay out of his way if―or _when_ —that happened.

"Hey Gaara," Naruto sang happily, hopeful that in the midst of masses, his grouchy friend would not shoot him down, "Do you think it would be always like this if we lived together?"

But Gaara didn't reply to his question. "The next time I won't wait for you. I have an important meeting at nine and if I'm late, you won't get out of it without consequences."

"Aww, that sounds like a threat to me," Naruto cooed and the sharp glare he received made him smile. "Are you going to put laxative on my coffee, too?"

There was no mistaking the faint twitch of a smile on Gaara's lips. But the look he gave him was downright dangerous. "Don't tempt me."

The train was so crowded they had to stand. When the vehicle twitched into motion, Gaara swayed but Naruto was quick to catch him. While tightly holding on to a pole, Naruto secured the fuming redhead with his arm around his waist. Even though he knew he might end up with a surprise in his coffee, he didn't let go of his best friend.

* * *

 **A/N:** _Pheww… I was having so much trouble with all the emotions on this chapter! :O I hope I got everything alright. It was getting a bit heavy at some point so I added some humor/lightness, I hope it fit there instead of coming out as awkward… And I hope Gaara wasn't too much of a jerk. But gosh he's stupid! D:_


	9. Is This What Friends Do?

**A/N:** _Hi guys and sorry for the long wait. A big sincere Thank You for all of you who have reviewed/read/faved/followed and tagged along this far! Your support means a lot to me and I hope you enjoy this chapter!_

* * *

 **Chapter 9: Is This What Friends Do?**

Naruto repressed a yawn but faithfully followed Kankuro around the clothes store. Gaara had vanished somewhere between the lines of woolen coats and his vibrantly red hair was nowhere to be seen. With weakening interest, Naruto kept his two meters distance from his boyfriend and pretended they were just acquaintances.

When he finally yawned out loud, Kankuro glanced at him disapprovingly. Given how some of the salesmen glared at Naruto, too, it was clear he didn't blend in the stiff atmosphere of this respected store. Most likely he looked like nothing but a shoplifter to them, or someone who had wandered in here by accident. And those shop assistants looked all too enthusiastic to see his hideous orange disappear from their controlled color tones. With another attempt of feigned interest, Naruto let his gaze roam on the endless shades of navy, gray and black.

He could not do this. He had zero interest.

Kankuro never stopped Naruto when he slipped away in search of the redhead. He found him going towards the fitting room with a coat hanging by his arm.

"If you want, I can help you find the best-looking coat," Naruto offered.

Gaara nodded in appreciation, "Fine. I'll call you when I'm ready." Then, he vanished into the changing room.

Naruto waited behind the thick velvet curtain that separated him from the target of his interest. This whole shopping spree had been Kankuro's idea and when Gaara had heard about it, he had invited himself along before Naruto could even ask him to. It seemed this store held some deeper meaning for the brothers, given how interestedly they went through the selection. Without Gaara here, Naruto would've died of boredom many eternal minutes ago.

"You can come in now," Gaara spoke through the curtain.

Naruto slipped in like a thief and was surprised how spacious the fitting room was. It was so roomy that a plush bench fitted there without question. Three mirrors reflected a black-clad redhead who was standing in the middle with a long woolen coat on. Naruto stood behind his back, taking in the view.

"It looks good on you," he breathed.

But Gaara didn't look convinced, "I don't look like a movie villain in this, do I?"

"Maybe a little," the blond chuckled, "But don't worry, in my flamboyantly orange clothes I look like some superhero too."

Gaara smiled a little. "Your name would be Orange Lightning or something absurd like that."

Naruto was instantly drawn into the idea.

"Yeah! And at nighttime, I would use my superpowers for common good and chase the criminals. My arch nemesis would be this evil guy called Grumpy Red. He would have this weird obsession about making me wake up at 6 a.m. by hiding alarm clocks to my whereabouts, and he would wear a black coat just like this," Naruto explained and his hands slid along Gaara's arms, bringing their attention to the expensive piece of clothing.

"You would never catch him," Gaara said with a quick smirk.

Naruto smiled back at him via the mirror.

"Oh, I totally would," he said calmly, before suddenly capturing Gaara's wrists and holding them behind his back tightly. Gaara glared at him through the mirror but his look lacked any danger.

The innocence behind Naruto's smile dropped. He kept Gaara's wrists secured with his hand, and when he squeezed them, a soft sigh escaped his friend's lips. Jade eyes were filled with confusion which soon turned into honest haze, like he was unable to cover up his primitive reaction. Gaara was biting his lip, perhaps preventing another sigh. He looked absolutely desirable and on a whim, Naruto covered Gaara's eyes with his other hand and tilted his head backwards just a little.

Gaara stood at Naruto's mercy with his throat exposed, submitting to his fate. This was just another game, another joke, but even so he couldn't stop himself from reacting. Maybe he liked being restrained, but it was a secret he was sure to keep hidden from the world. Only his pitiful one-night stands were trusted with this knowledge, but only because he knew he would never have to see them again.

Naruto spoke in his ear and his voice was oozing thrill, "Any last words?"

"Come to the dark side with me," Gaara whispered with pent-up excitement.

Shivers traveled up along Naruto's spine. He forgot how to breathe and when it came back to him, his gasp was only a dry cough. The air was boiling around them and if there was steam on the mirrors he wouldn't be surprised at all. Heat burned in Naruto's muscles when Gaara let out a small, expectant sigh. It was suddenly too much and without further thought he freed his friend and stepped away like he had been electrocuted.

Gaara kept his back turned to the blond and avoided his own reflection in the mirrors. He was blushing. Hard.

"T-That coat suits you very well, by the way," Naruto said nervously and gave him a feeble smile. Before the redhead could reply, he slipped away to the other side of the velvet curtain.

Kankuro's curious stare greeted him on the other side. Its coolness froze whatever warm excitement was still tingling on Naruto's skin and for once, Naruto was out of words. He lowered his face in shame and started walking away slowly. Kankuro's calm steps followed behind him, his piercing stare burning holes to the back of his head.

"I didn't know you were waiting for us," Naruto said when they were safely out of Gaara's earshot.

"Well, I wondered where you went and then I heard your voice through the curtain."

Naruto's shoulders slumped even more. "O-Oh, I had no idea anyone could hear our conversation."

"Everyone did," Kankuro corrected and his voice was tight.

They exited the store and stopped on the street, waiting for Gaara. Kankuro's dark eyes held no warmth and in the middle of the winter evening's chill, Naruto shivered again but this time, for different reasons than moments before. When Gaara returned with a large shopping bag—no doubt the coat had left a lasting impression on him—they started making their way to their next destination.

At the restaurant Kankuro kept quiet. Gaara and Naruto were sitting side by side, and the brunet's disapproving gaze burned the blond's skin like a sting of sunlight through a magnifying lens.

Dinner was spent in silence given how Kankuro refused to talk, Gaara had somehow lost his capacity to converse, and Naruto was too afraid to open up a conversation. The blond wanted so badly to order a glass of something strong but he knew the brothers wouldn't appreciate it thanks to their family background. He wanted to escape. Too bad he had no actual superpowers to do that.

"I have good news for you, Naruto," Kankuro suddenly said. His voice held no bitterness but the look on his face was unforgiving.

"Oh?" the blond asked with growing insecurity.

A quick smile visited the brunet's face before he said, "They called and told the job is yours. Isn't that great?"

Naruto looked shocked, but not as shocked as Gaara.

"What job?" the redhead asked with wide eyes.

Before Naruto had any chance to reply, Kankuro interrupted them.

"Your salary will be doubled, if not more. Doesn't that sound good? You can say goodbye to your debt soon."

"You have debt?" Gaara asked again, surprised. "Why didn't you tell me?"

But as soon as he launched that question, realization dawned on him. Naruto and Kankuro were a couple. Of course they would share these kinds of things. And he was just a friend, or a co-worker, whatever. And now it seemed he wouldn't be even that for much longer.

"I didn't want to burden you with my debt. You would've only tried to help me," Naruto explained softly.

"Yes. That's what friends do," Gaara said and sounded accusing. He instantly regretted his tone. A content smirk visited Kankuro's face but it vanished before anyone could witness it.

"It's going to be alright, don't worry," Naruto promised but his words didn't console Gaara.

The redhead tuned out of the conversation, wanting to escape. Naruto was about to leave their office. Without him there, the place was meaningless. Gaara's chest hurt and he refused to meet anyone's eyes. Even though he tried to tell himself that this was good news for his friend, he couldn't feel happy for him. Losing Naruto like this felt more personal than he had ever imagined.

For the rest of the evening Gaara kept to himself. Grief was a large stone that kept on expanding inside his chest and he could feel the taste of it in his throat already. Appetite was long lost and he couldn't bring himself to react at Naruto's jokes in any way. Taste of alcohol was disgusting him as always but tonight, he kept on re-filling his wine glass. And maybe it was due to his increasing drunkenness but it seemed like the happy look on his brother's face turned more and more permanent.

By the end of the evening Kankuro was so happy he invited Gaara to their home. Not sure if he had a secret wish to see himself suffer, Gaara accepted the invitation.

And it turned out to be a mistake, how else.

Needless to say he felt like a third wheel when he followed Kankuro feeding Naruto ice cream with a little spoon. Gaara lowered his gaze to his bowl and hoped his dessert would go away on its own. The healthy red color on Naruto's cheeks was now permanently carved into Gaara's thoughts and with his mind's eye he could recall the way Kankuro's spoon glided through Naruto's lips.

And if he strained his imagination a little further, he could imagine the ice cream melting on Naruto's lips, making them cold and tasty and—

 _And nothing. Stop it._

And delicious and forbidden—

 _Seriously, stop now._

But his inner scoldings turned out fruitless. In the solitude of his heated thoughts, Gaara ate his ice cream slowly and imagined the coldness of Naruto's lips. It was only when Kankuro coughed quietly that he realized what he was doing. He ate normally again after that, avoiding any unnecessary eye contact, but when he accidentally glanced at Naruto's way, he dropped his spoon.

The blush on his friend's face had deepened to a shade too dark to be innocent, and the fog in his attentive blue eyes was certainly not reserved for the brunet sitting next to him.

But before Gaara could bask in the sight any longer, Kankuro seized Naruto by the crystal necklace and pulled him into an unashamed kiss.

Gaara stared at their mouths pressing against each other in an addicting rhythm. Naruto's surprised gasp oozed heat and Gaara wondered if his lips were still cool. When Kankuro let go, Naruto kept his gaze tightly on his lap. There was a victorious look on Kankuro's face but none of that confidence was visible on the blond's.

When Gaara eventually left, he was sent on his way by a brotherly (albeit slightly cocky) hug from Kankuro and a nervous stare by Naruto.

As he walked slowly back home, the haunted look in Naruto's eyes followed him with every step and he couldn't shake it off.

* * *

On a weekday morning, Naruto and Gaara were standing side by side at the station, waiting for their train to arrive.

Under his clothes, the crystal burned cool and Naruto couldn't ignore it. By now he had learned to keep his treasured necklace hidden from the world, so that _no one_ could just casually grab it and pull him in for a kiss.

Against his skin, the crystal persistently reminded of its existence. What was it in this morning that made his skin tingle like million little stings were caressing it?

Maybe it was just the steep drop in temperature, or the thinness of his coat. The wind was chillier this morning, wasn't it?

Eventually the two of them were sitting side by side on the train, enjoying the rush hour of the morning with countless of other passengers heading to work, too. Well, he couldn't say Gaara was really enjoying these masses of strangers, but Naruto had done his best and snatched his friend a nice seat right next to the window. That way, his introverted friend could peacefully stare out of the window while they traveled, and Naruto―occupying the seat by his side―made sure the redhead didn't have to go through the trouble of tolerating any stranger close to him.

By now he was familiar with Gaara's routines and having long conversations―or any―in the morning was strictly out of question. So Naruto kept his mouth shut and instead directed his energy on inspecting the large variety of other passengers.

There was a woman sitting across Gaara. At first Naruto paid no attention to her, but when her glances at Gaara grew longer and longer, he became interested in what was going on.

When Gaara noticed her, he dismissed her after two seconds of interest. Naruto bit the inside of his cheek, trying to hide his content smile―he had no idea why Gaara rejecting such a beautiful person made him so happy—until the redhead lifted up his gaze to her again, this time studying her for a tad longer, before once again averting his attention. It seemed to amuse her, and the way her plump limps curved up into a cute little smile started to annoy Naruto.

She was blonde and Naruto wondered if it mattered. The longer that eye-game continued on her part, the more time Gaara seemed to invest in the woman. She batted her eyelids innocently, her finger brushing along her hair, but when she nailed _his friend_ with her stare again, she looked downright demanding. Gaara shifted in his seat and her eyes narrowed in satisfaction.

A restrained smirk crept to Naruto's face and he leaned very close to Gaara, so that his lips almost touched his ear.

"You look very handsome today, Gaara. Maybe she noticed it, too?" he breathed so that only his friend could hear.

As a final touch, he gave a reassuring squeeze to Gaara's hand. But Naruto let his touch linger, and then he glanced at the woman all but friendlily.

Who knew, maybe he had just stopped the romance of a century from happening?

He was petty and selfish and not sorry at all.

Gaara was tensely staring out of the window with a strange look on his face. The woman regarded Naruto with a rude look until she dug up her phone with visible sourness.

When they stepped out of the train and lost sight of the annoying woman, Naruto's triumphant mood started to sink. He had no right to meddle in his friend's business like that. Why had he been such a jerk and sabotaged their innocent eye-game in such a cowardly way?

His friend seemed quieter than usual and Naruto wondered if he should try to somehow reverse the damage he had caused. But instead of doing that, he just kept on walking close to him and in order to make it look more natural, he casually wrapped his arm around his shoulder.

But Gaara swatted his arm away. Naruto didn't let it affect his mood.

Today was his last day in the office. Next week, he would start in his new job in a new company that was also owned by the influential Inuzuka family. It was not the exact same place Kankuro worked at, but a part of the web nonetheless.

And starting in next week, he would live at Kankuro's place seven days a week. It had been the brunet's idea. Naruto had hesitated but when he had noticed the warmth in Kankuro's gaze gradually cool to sub zero as seconds passed in silence, he had quickly understood to accept the offering.

Gaara had not addressed these changes in any way, until he suddenly spoke when they were slowly walking along the street.

"Are you excited about your new job?"

Cold chunk of ice settled in Naruto's stomach, freezing him more fiercely than his treasured crystal.

"Yeah, I'm pretty excited," the blond said cautiously. "And your brother was very kind to let me live there full time."

Gaara didn't look at him. "Is that what you really want?"

"What are you asking?" Naruto asked, but those serious jade eyes never turned his way. No, the redhead just kept on walking ahead with a closed-off expression on his unreadable face.

"Are you asking me if I want to get rid of my debt? Or if I want to have a permanent home?" Naruto asked, his voice turning tighter.

But Gaara never clarified what he had meant. A guilty expression colored his face for a moment but then it was gone.

At the office, Naruto kept to himself.

Vividly he could recall the delicate scent of Gaara' shampoo and how he had almost unnoticeably trembled when he had spoken directly in his ear. He would have to stop letting himself go near him like that―it would only lead into trouble sooner or later.

A farewell celebration took place in the afternoon. Melancholic mood hung over the office, but every now and then one of his co-workers tried to lift up the atmosphere with a joke. An orange cake with a marzipan-made pile of ramen noodles on top was certainly something Naruto had not foreseen. These people really cared for him. Was he really making the right decision by leaving this place?

Certain redhead stood in the back row for the whole time. His plate looked unused. No stains of orange cake in there.

Was this really the right thing to do?

When Naruto turned off his computer for the last time, emptiness filled him. Just for the sake of good old times he strolled around the office. He was certainly not looking for anyone in particular, god no, but when he saw no flash of red hair anywhere, his mood sank.

He didn't remember seeing Gaara leave the office. But now he was not here.

And in a few moments, Naruto would leave this place, too.

* * *

Two weeks into his new life and Naruto felt emptier than ever.

On the outside, he had everything a guy of his age could be envious about. On the inside, uncertainty itched him like a scab that wouldn't heal.

He had not really had too much time to hang around with Gaara—the redhead had been busy with his job, and Naruto had worked long hours, too, not only to impress his new employer but because there was so much he needed to learn.

For many days he had been haunted by the image of Gaara disappointedly tossing his clean plate to the office sink before disappearing from his view only to sulk in his cubicle. The vision had only dissolved late on one Thursday night, when the two of them had met in a small restaurant. Gaara's mood had been rivaling with the chill of winter, but slowly in the minutes spent in their quiet corner booth, the redhead had warmed up.

Gaara said he was stressed because of work.

But he kept on acting like he was hurt, and he was wearing _that coat_.

They had discussed about the weather, how the food lacked salt, how the oncoming snowstorm would undoubtedly cause trains to be late again. But then there was a pause in the conversation, because both of them realized they wouldn't ride a train to work together, anymore. And Gaara had closed off instantly and then turned into mute and grouchy, and Naruto had been at a loss for words for once. But when their desserts had arrived, they had engaged into hushed conversation about the thinness of their coffee and the dryness of the cake.

In the end, they had parted in a friendly mood. But on his way home, the emptiness had slowly crawled back to Naruto and climbed up on his shoulder until it swallowed his head.

His new job was not just some enormous mistake, was it?

He was doing the right thing?

…Wasn't he?

Currently he was cuddling on the couch with Kankuro, careful at not to spill his drink on the couch, or carpet, or any other surface. Their reservoir of white wine seemed endless and it reminded him of their secret encounters in the very beginning, when they had survived solely on champagne and strawberries.

Just to chase away the emptiness, Naruto swallowed the last of his wine and carefully placed his glass on the table. When Kankuro noticed he remembered to use a coaster, he gave him an approving smile.

"Do you want me to fetch the strawberries?" Naruto asked when he remembered he had seen those little treats on their fridge the other day.

"Oh, I'm afraid there's none left, sorry," Kankuro said and ruffled his blond hair without tearing his attention away from the TV screen.

"Oh… What happened to them?" Naruto asked, surprised.

"I ate them," Kankuro explained and spared him a quick glance. "I was hungry."

"I see," the blond understood. How funny that his boyfriend was into those berries after all. He had always been under the impression that Kankuro wasn't a big fan of them.

His new job wasn't horrible. It was just very different from his previous one. And there was no one very friendly in there, no one who would remind him of Gaara. And talking about the redhead, Mr. Sabaku had certainly not been friendly with him in the beginning, with his disapproving glares and quiet huffs. But in the end, hadn't Mr. Sabaku been the only one to offer him the most genuine kind of friendliness: a safe place to stay overnight without any crooked payback plan?

And why was he thinking about Gaara again? Was it okay to let his thoughts return to him every two minutes? Was it wise to let him steal his attention like this, when he was cuddling in someone else's arms?

Kankuro was good, too. He was. Wasn't he?

Thanks to him, Naruto had now a job which ensured his debt would die within a few years. And even now Kankuro refused to take money from him, or let him pay his share of the living costs.

Whenever Naruto brought it up, emotions darkened in Kankuro's eyes and he silenced him with a kiss. And Naruto let it happen, for deep down he knew what their deal was all about. He was not independent, not free. He knew what Kankuro wanted. And he let him have it, every time, without question—because that was Naruto's currency when it came to paying back.

 _You can do anything to me._

"I invited Gaara over this Friday," Kankuro said casually like he was talking about weather.

Naruto tensed all over and hoped his excitement wasn't visible to his boyfriend.

"Temari called me and told there's something wrong with Gaara lately. I'm worried about him. I thought it would be nice to spend an evening together," Kankuro explained.

"Sounds good," was all Naruto said with a deadpan look on his face but on the inside, butterflies filled his stomach.

Kankuro's eyes narrowed and he pressed his palm against Naruto's chest, where the blue crystal lay hidden under his shirt. Naruto's smile was instant but restless, however his submission seemed to convince Kankuro. He filled the blond's glass and Naruto drank it, knowing he would be under surveillance on the upcoming Friday. No wrong signals to Gaara, he should keep that in mind, and under his clothes the crystal burned again like a demanding memory.

When in the hours of the night he lay squeezed under Kankuro's weight, he couldn't help a tremor of excitement escaping into his moans. Tonight, he was more aroused than usually, but he let his boyfriend think it was all his doing. His crystal was tossed somewhere on the floor and when he was about to utter some words, Kankuro kissed him on the mouth and stole his voice.

Afterwards Naruto rested on the sheets, his hair clinging to his forehead in sweat. Kankuro held his chin and stared into his hazy blue eyes with smug satisfaction. The weight of crystal necklace on Naruto's skin was suddenly present, even though the real thing was scattered on the floor under the pile of his clothes. Naruto put his hand under the pillow, a position he often enjoyed, but startled when a piece of metal touched his fingers.

He pulled it out. A hairpin?

"What the hell is this doing in here?" Naruto asked and the haze in his eyes cleared away.

Kankuro took it from him calmly and threw it away somewhere in the darkened room.

"Don't worry about it."

"I'm asking you," Naruto confronted.

"I use it as a bookmark," the brunet finally explained. "I put it there one night, while I was reading in bed. Then I forgot it altogether, when you waltzed in the room wearing only your bathrobe."

Naruto blushed at the memory. He vividly remembered that particular night.

But…

"Where did you get it from?"

Kankuro yawned like he was completely relaxed. "It was mom's. It's the only thing I have of her."

"Oh," Naruto replied, not sure how to reply. The sad, almost pained expression that slowly took over the brunet's face made his heart ache, too.

"I'm sorry," Naruto apologized.

Kankuro sniffed and wiped his eyes, and then cuddled against Naruto's chest like the weight on his shoulders was too much to bear. By now Naruto knew enough of his family background to ask more, and patiently he consoled his boyfriend.

The metal pin lay forgotten on the floor, not too far away from the crystal necklace. They glinted in the dim light shyly, as if they were filled with secrets.

* * *

Gaara rang the doorbell to his brother's apartment.

A casual Friday night with Kankuro and their mutual friend Naruto was ahead this time, and no matter how much he had tried to, Kankuro had not let him cancel his arrival. His brother's voice had carried a trait of worry, like it often did in those dark days of their adolescence.

Nervously Gaara clutched a little paper bag in his hands. When no one answered the door immediately, a thought of escaping at the last minute entered his mind.

But when Naruto opened the door, the first thing to greet him was a cloud of his perfume which he quickly recognized as the unmistakable scent of "Power Energy" soap. With a mental note to self, Gaara decided to send a request to whoever manufactured such an unnecessary product, demanding them to withdraw the brand from the market as soon as possible.

Surely he couldn't be the only victim of that thing.

Naruto was wearing only a little white towel around his hips, drying his spiky wet hair with another. Blue crystal hung faithfully between his tanned pecs. Gaara lowered his gaze. That smell of his soap was completely inappropriate.

"Come in," Naruto called with his trademark luminous smile.

"Here," Gaara draped him the little bag, still refusing to look at his friend. The scent was making him dizzy.

Naruto peeked into the bag, "You brought marmalade and toffee?"

Gaara wasn't clueless about Naruto's cravings, at least not when it came to teeth-rotting sweets the blond gorged at every given opportunity.

"You didn't have to," Naruto said but he sounded happier than ever. "Too bad Kankuro doesn't like sweets."

Gaara knew that. But speaking of the brunet, where was he?

"Oh, by the way your brother's not here," the blond apologized. "There was an emergency at work and he had to go."

The redhead raised a nonexistent brow. "Where does he work at, at the hospital or something? I thought he had a job in the office."

"Look, I know," Naruto sounded suddenly sour. "Let's not talk about it okay?"

Not surprisingly the blond was already wrapping open the marmalades. When the sugary treat melted in his mouth, bliss overtook his face.

Gaara looked away and wondered if he should leave. "Since he had to cancel, maybe I should go home, too."

"No, no, you can stay," Naruto said with mouth full of candy. A little trickle of drool escaped his mouth and traveled down his chin. He wiped it off on the towel that rested on his shoulders.

"I don't like being alone in here."

Naruto was a people person, of course. How had he forgotten that? It wasn't like he _wanted to_ leave but now that his friend had specifically asked him to stay, it didn't feel as awkward.

"Make yourself at home while I go put on some clothes," Naruto said like a good host and tightened the poor excuse of a loin cloth around his waist. The loose knot he had made earlier was about to give up its duties, threatening to slide down his hips like a traitor.

"Has he been gone for a long time already?" Gaara asked quickly when Naruto was about to leave.

The blond stopped, and the redhead's gaze visited his naked stomach until fleeing to a safer spot.

"He left and hour ago," Naruto said after some thought. He turned to leave, until Gaara's voice prevented it, again.

"When do you think he'll be back?" Gaara asked, staring at those friendly blue depths but as soon as Naruto averted his gaze, Gaara stole a quick glance of his chest.

"He didn't say when he'll be back," Naruto admitted, sounding sour again, "And to be honest I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't come back until morning."

"Until morning? Is everything alright with you two?" Gaara asked quietly, and Naruto's expression darkened.

"It's nothing you should worry about. He's just very devoted to his career, and I admire him for that. Besides, he told me to deliver his apologies to you, because he couldn't be here tonight," the blond spoke tightly. He was about to go, again, when Gaara seized his wrist. Azure eyes widened in surprise. Quickly, Gaara let go and retreated.

"You don't have to defend him. And I'm worried about you."

Naruto smiled warmly at him, "Hey, no worries. If I worked as hard as him, who knows, maybe I would have an own place as fancy as this, too."

"Naruto, don't belittle yourself. You work harder than many. I hate to say this to you, but to me it looks like you're being taken advantage of," Gaara said. The words hurt his tongue bitterly but the crestfallen look on his friend's face was even worse.

"He's not taking advantage of me, if that's what you're trying to say," Naruto corrected him quickly. He glanced around, as if making sure no one was there to hear him. "And I wish you wouldn't speak of him like that."

"Are you expecting me to believe he's at work now, at this hour?" Gaara asked.

"Look. I don't want to talk about him anymore, alright?" Naruto said with practiced calm, stretching each word like his patience was eternal. But the tension between the lines lay thick and vulnerable.

"Do you really want to stay with him?" Gaara asked, feeling hurt for some reason by his own question. Naruto didn't look at him, but his skin was on goose bumps and―not that Gaara paid any attention to a stupid thing like that, but―his nipples were hard.

"I'm getting cold. I'm going to go dressed up now," the blond said.

Reluctantly Gaara watched him leave. Before his friend could close the bedroom door behind him, he tried to come up with any last minute topic that would make him stay. But nothing came to his mind.

Gaara sat on the couch stiffly. The living room was furnished with good taste, something that wasn't surprising given the impact Haruno household had left on his brother. The only thing giving away another, vastly different resident was a pair of light blue socks resting carelessly on the armrest of a plush chair.

Now with more appropriately clothed, Naruto sat down next to him. He had not hidden his necklace under his shirt but kept it dangling on top for the whole world to see.

Gaara studied the blue crystal deep in thought until he remembered the shopkeeper's words.

"Have you decided yet what dream you wish to come true?"

He lifted up his gaze from the ocean-colored crystal to the equally azure eyes which were looking at him very sincerely.

"I guess I have," Naruto said mysteriously before he grinned, erasing the seriousness of his words.

He sometimes did that, Gaara had noticed. Uncommon seriousness would take over the blond, be it his words or gestures or just a look in his steel blue eyes, but when he noticed Gaara had noticed, he would grin or smile or laugh and that way nullify it all.

It was a mask—a mask of happiness. And it told him Naruto loved living in here but what he saw with his own eyes was something else.

Besides the all but classy socks thrown on the chair, there was not a trace of Naruto in this apartment. Briefly he wondered if Kankuro would ever let the blond bring his candles and paper snowflakes and _Rudolf_ into this controlled environment. Or his large poster of pork ramen the blond valued as "a treasured possession"—a word-for-word quote from the ramen-lover himself. Such an extraordinary thing would not suit in here, at all.

"It's very quiet in here. Always," Naruto suddenly said.

And it was true. Not a sound was heard, unless you counted the steady hum of traffic twelve floors down from here.

"Don't say you miss the racket that goes on around the clock at my neighbor's," Gaara attempted a joke.

Naruto smiled honestly, "Maybe I do."

It was yet another odd combination of humor and seriousness that was detectable on Naruto these days. It was something Gaara had dismissed in passing at first but which eventually led him to wonder if everything was alright.

"How's your new job?" Gaara asked.

Naruto pouted deep in thought, "Well… I miss working with you."

"You do?" the redhead mumbled and it bothered him quite much how easily carefree happiness escaped to his voice.

"It's the only thing I miss, really," Naruto said, and sounded sad. Gaara wanted to make that unnecessary tinge vanish.

"I've missed you too," he said before quickly correcting, "I mean _the whole office_ misses you."

But the wide grin on his friend's face told him his little slip had not gone unnoticed.

"Anyway," Gaara changed the subject quickly and glanced around the room, "My place looks a lot more like you than this place."

On many nights he had wondered just what on earth had happened to his home. First of all, there was Rudolf but he had gotten used to it by now. A large, yellow poster of pork ramen was steadily turning from an eye-sore into a mind-lifting piece of decoration. Paper snowflakes in the windows should've been taken off a long, long time ago but he couldn't care less. They could stay there until next Christmas for all he cared.

But then there was that orange rug Naruto had one day brought in after Gaara had given a half-interested mumble at the picture of it. And as if all this hadn't been enough, Kurama the plush toy sat on his bed and stared at him with its glassy eyes night after night. It was a strange thing to own, and even now Gaara could easily recall the day Naruto had entrusted it into his care.

" _This is Kurama. It resembles a mythological creature and I got it from a history fair back when I was still my father's son. Please take good care of it,"_ Naruto had said and handed him an orange plush toy resembling a fox with nine tails.

"My sister visited me not too long ago and she was shocked by the amount of orange in my apartment. She thought I had lost my mind," Gaara said and the blond chuckled amusedly.

"Did you tell her the truth?" Naruto asked. Gaara stared at him seriously for a while.

"No, I didn't. It was more fun to let her believe that orange is my new favorite color."

And in a way, it was. But Gaara didn't want to linger on that.

The rest of the evening they spent watching movies. At some point Naruto yawned and stretched his arms, only to land his hand on the back rest of the couch, behind Gaara's head. This time, no friendly ruffle on his hair happened, but Gaara could feel the radiating warmth.

Maybe it was just because of his tense back, or his sore lumbar region, or the stiffness on his neck, but either way he found himself leaning closer to Naruto. Soon enough he was resting in his armpit as if he was lazy and boneless. The hand on the back rest soundlessly slid down along the canvas and secured Gaara in place.

Naruto was warm and his soap-scent embraced Gaara in a way he found surprisingly comfortable. Casually he moved his hand on Naruto's knee, giving it a slow massage while he stared at the TV screen. Soon enough it was Naruto's palm that found its way on Gaara's stomach, at first patting it neutrally, but then remaining there, hot and heavy. The movie lost its interest and it was harder to keep up with the plot. He was relaxed and tense at the same time, and he wondered if Naruto felt the same.

Just to escape his weird mood, Gaara straightened up and bid goodbye to his friend's warmth. Naruto looked saddened but not surprised.

"You make a lousy pillow," the redhead said a little scornfully. The blond replied with a lopsided smile.

"Let's try again, shall we?" Naruto said and put an extra pillow on his body, so that his friend would have a more comfortable place to lean against.

"Maybe we shouldn't," Gaara said dryly and was about to get up.

"Hey wait, Grumpy Red," Naruto called and no more than the innuendo in his tone was needed for Gaara to stop breathing.

"Are you going to arrest me again?" the redhead asked tensely.

"Do you want me to?" Naruto whispered, leaning closer to him on the couch, and suddenly he looked far less innocent than he should on an evening like this.

Shivers caressed Gaara's back with their icy fingers. His skin was hot all over and the hairs on his neck stood up in alarm. Naruto's presence was detectable with every nerve under his skin and Gaara wanted to scratch himself raw just to get rid of him.

But he never did, and the promise of Naruto's intention tickled his guts before he got enough and stood up. He should go. But his toes were roots diving deep into the floor. Only barely he understood that Naruto had stood up, too, and was standing right behind his back, breathing on his neck, and full of unspoken innuendo.

In the end, it was just an innocent touch that set things into motion.

Naruto's hands landed on his shoulders, and the hotness of his touch was barely innocent. Gaara stood completely still, waiting for the inevitable, wondering if Kankuro would come home soon, anytime, now. Would he come home when they were kissing, and what was he thinking again, absurd images like that? He and Naruto would most certainly not be kissing, that was for sure.

Not after the blond had moved to live here permanently.

Not after Naruto had abandoned him in that god forsaken office.

And over the past weeks, he had certainly not been thinking about Naruto's lips on his own, on his throat, on his inner thigh.

"You're awfully tense, Gaara," Naruto pointed out calmly, but a foreign undercurrent in his tone was soft like velvet.

Before Gaara could come up with any kind of snappy remark, Naruto's touch slid down along his arms, only to stop at his wrists. His thumbs pressed against Gaara's pulse and no more than that was needed to alarm every muscle in Gaara's abdomen to full alert. Naruto's breath walked along his neck like a puff of steam, and the pressure on his wrists gave birth to all kind of adulterated scenarios that were strictly reserved for those solitary moments in his locked closet.

And now Naruto was bringing those private fantasies into this sophisticated living room.

Gaara had no choice but to give in. He was already about to lean against his friend and let him do whatever it was he wanted with him, but unexpectedly Naruto let go like he was unaware of all the tension and images that had gathered into this room they were about to taint.

Gaara spun around angrily, ready to defend his hurt pride with a snappy word or two, when the surprised look on Naruto's face stopped him.

For a fraction of a second Naruto looked confused, like he had gotten no idea what impact he held over Gaara, but when realization quickly dawned on him, his blue eyes lost all innocence. Naruto pulled Gaara close, holding his hips and the warmth of his touch seeped through the fabric of Gaara's jeans into his skin, like there was no cloth there between them. The moment Gaara saw Naruto's pupils dilate, the vivid fantasies in his mind turned more restless than ever.

He wanted Naruto to take his lips. His own mouth was already slightly open, ready to let a tongue in. He wanted Naruto to pin him on the carpet that was just the right shade of beige, to make him crumble under his touch.

He wanted the Naruto from his daydreams to turn into flesh and bone and do him the things he had barely dared to fantasize.

But the real-life Naruto only looked at him with a guilty look on his face.

"N-No… We can't," the blond whispered.

Suddenly the room was cool. Suddenly Gaara felt like an idiot. The titillating pressure in his crotch, in his jeans, softened into an ashamed sensation.

Naruto tried to explain. "I can't, not when I still live here."

But Gaara's ears were ringing and his head was swollen from his bitter thoughts. All he heard was an 'I don't want you', and his blooming emotions seemed like the most foolish thing ever.

He grabbed his coat from the rack and despite Naruto's gentle pleas, he escaped into the winter.

* * *

For the week that followed, Naruto walked in the middle of chaotic thoughts.

Gaara had not picked up any of his calls, not surprise there, but the unfiltered interest he had seen shining in Gaara's eyes was enough to make him feel smitten. Suddenly it was harder to concentrate at work, when his redheaded ex-colleague invaded his lukewarm thoughts, turning them into a bed of fire.

Naruto gripped his desk, closing his eyes just for a moment, trying to restore his concentration but managing only to fall deeper through the yellow tapes on entrances he shouldn't visit so freely. With his mind's eye, he saw Gaara staring at him with his lips parted, begging with his eyes for something Naruto didn't even dare to fantasize. Not here, anyway. Not now.

But the Gaara in his dreams kept on staring at him with his lust-filled eyes, until he suddenly started undressing himself as if he had grown tired of waiting.

The fire alarm went off and the sprinkles effectively spurted into action, dampening the whole fourth floor and a certain blond daydreamer with their cool spray.

Soon Naruto and the others understood this was not a drill. Something had happened in the kitchen and now they were all calmly walking down the stairs, evacuating themselves lazily and reading the news on their phone in the meanwhile. It was only when a thick smell of smoke landed on their level that everyone understood something bigger than just a burned microwave meal had happened. With sudden liveliness in their steps, they found their way out and on everyone's face was an unsettled look.

It was one in the afternoon when they were informed of the details and dismissed for the day. The fire department had put out the fire—its source had turned out to be a broken charger forgotten under a newspaper, and soon flames had been climbing up the curtains in a deserted conference room—but given how the whole office smelled of smoke and how the sprinklers had wetted their computers, it was no use getting back there.

Naruto made his way home, feeling oddly carefree for once. As he followed the white clouds sailing on cerulean sky, he pictured a nice hot bath that awaited him at home. Humming relaxedly, he turned his key on the lock and brushed off the strange tremor of scared energy that coursed through the universe just then. He reeked of smoke, maybe it affected his senses, too.

A smell of perfume greeted him in the hallway before his eyes landed on Tenten, who was staring at Kankuro with her head tilted in the same admiration Naruto had seen on New Year's Eve.

Kankuro paled and crossed his arms. Naruto stopped. Tenten evaluated him in a surprised way until her gaze softened.

"You're Gaara's boyfriend, right?"

"They are not like that," Kankuro laughed nervously, not giving Naruto a chance to reply. "Gaara and Naruto are only friends."

But Tenten smiled knowingly at the brunet and patted her pretty finger against his lips. "Don't tell me you didn't notice how they kept on looking at each other at New Year's. They were fooling no one."

"They are not like _that_ ," Kankuro repeated frustratedly but Tenten only laughed at his flustered state.

"Fine. Whatever you say," Tenten pretended to give in and then winked slyly at Naruto, who followed the conversation in mute shock.

"I don't care if your brother's gay," Tenten said kindly and shrugged, "Did you know Kiba is one, too?"

"How do you know that?" Kankuro asked a little bewilderedly, taking a step away from her.

She smiled knowingly, like she was about to let him on to a little secret. "He told me. It was around the time he broke up with his right hand, Shino."

"R-Really?" Kankuro said and hesitantly straightened his tie. She smirked at him slyly.

"Don't get me wrong, I couldn't care less if he's gay or whatever. The only thing that matters to me is that you're not," she chirped and pecked a kiss on his lips.

Kankuro chuckled nervously, "Come on, you're making Naruto uncomfortable."

"I'm sorry," she apologized and smiled at the quiet blond who stood in the corner, frozen.

"I better get going," she sighed and turned around. "It was really nice to meet you, Naruto. I hope we see again soon."

And with that said she stole one last kiss from Kankuro and left.

Naruto was choking in shock. His boyfriend stood there, nervously fiddling with his tie as if he was feverishly trying to figure out how to explain himself out of this.

"What the hell, Kankuro?"

The brunet snapped out of his thoughts and for the first time Naruto saw him honestly frightened.

"Why did she kiss you? What the hell is going on?"

"It was just a joke! She brought some work over, that's why she was here," Kankuro explained in an oddly nervous manner.

"Are you cheating on me?" Naruto asked and a lump of guilt manifested inside his organs. Surely he wouldn't be nominated as Mr. Innocent of the year himself, either, but perhaps it made this all even worse.

"I would never cheat on you," Kankuro assured. When the blond strode towards the bedroom like he suddenly had a horrible premonition, the brunet ran after him.

Naruto stopped at the door. The sheets were a mess, a stench of pleasure in the air was unmistakable, and the pillows were thrown to the floor like there was not enough room on the bed otherwise.

"What the hell…" Naruto whispered acidly, his eyes darting across the room in search of an escape, but instead his gaze only managed to find a pair of panties hanging from the door handle.

"Are those your mom's, too?" he asked bitterly, when he remember the hair pin.

"It's not what it looks like," Kankuro tried.

"Why?" Naruto asked, feeling inferior and invisible again.

"I don't want her," Kankuro avoided replying to the question, "It just happened, I swear. All I want is you. I want no one else but you, Naruto."

"Yeah, right," Naruto laughed painedly, clutching his chest. "You're only ashamed of me."

"I love you and only you," Kankuro told and took his hand in his. But Naruto swatted it away. His blue eyes were furious and full of bitter disappointment.

"You're lying," Naruto spat and the tumor of guilt inside his organs grew bigger. "We can't be together anymore."

The honest panic on Kankuro's face dimmed into something much more unflattering. He evaluated Naruto from head to toe with a disdainful look.

"Where would you go with that amount of debt on your back? To the streets like you used to? Don't forget you got your job through my connections. Your probationary period is six months, and you have been there four weeks. Do you really want to take the risk and find yourself both homeless and unemployed?"

Naruto slumped against the doorframe like the weight on his shoulders was pushing his down. The stench of perfume and satisfaction that floated in the air made him sick to the bones.

"Don't forget what happened to your friend," Kankuro referred to a period in the past, and Naruto paled just from the memory. "Without my help you would've lost yourself in those chemsex circles and ended up in a body bag just like your friend. Is that what you want your life to be?"

Naruto clutched his chest like he had been stabbed. He didn't want to go back to those memories. It had been so long ago, and he wanted to forget. It was only thanks to Kankuro's financial support he had managed to avoid those parties, something his unlucky friend had only dreamed of.

"You only want to keep me around because you're afraid I'll blow your cover," Naruto said, "You don't want your ex-wife's hounds on your back, do you? And what would Tenten say if she knew of the things you do to me?"

"I won't let someone like you threaten me," Kankuro snapped and his expression darkened. "You're not in the circles, Naruto. You're nobody. Who would take a homeless guy's word?—no one, and you know it."

Naruto felt his ego drop to the floor and vanish between the floor boards. His guts ached and the strange pain inside his skin threatened to explode.

"So this is how we do," Kankuro began and his tone was coarse like burlap, "You keep your mouth shut. You live here and you get to keep your job."

Naruto couldn't find his voice. His feet were numb and he was sick all the way to his heart.

"One thing Tenten mentioned was quite interesting, don't you think?" Kankuro asked and Naruto kept his head down, his gaze on the floor, as if in utter defeat. "She had noticed something about you and Gaara. How _you_ stare at him like there was no one else in the room. And then you come to me, accusing me of the same things you do behind my back."

"I don't sleep with your brother," Naruto exclaimed in anger but when the brunet's piercing stare fixated on him, he lost his confidence again.

"You don't. But you wish you would," Kankuro said bitterly. There was something different in his gaze this time, but before Naruto could see what it was, the man turned his head away.

"I would not sleep with someone else when I'm with you," Naruto told angrily.

"Oh, you wouldn't do anything like that," Kankuro said like he agreed, "But kissing is a different thing."

Guilt tore at Naruto's chest and a feeling of dread descended over him like a net he couldn't escape from. There was a calculative look in his boyfriend's eyes he had never seen before. It was like he knew.

"I—I'm sorry… I never meant to do that, but it just happened," Naruto whispered with a broken voice, clutching his chest. "And I meant to tell you, but in the end I didn't, and I know I should have."

"Wait, what? Are you saying that…?" Kankuro stammered in shock, like he had just dug up a secret he had not expected to find. "Have you really _kissed_ him?"

"Yeah," Naruto admitted with shame.

The brunet's eyes were wide and his mouth hung open in utter disbelief. He tried to form a sentence a few times but his confused brain just couldn't run it right. Sure, he had been suspicious of the blond on more occasions than one, but still, he had never expected his innocent Naruto to turn out to be like this. He had only led the blond on with his questions to see how he would react—it was a little trick he had learned in the theatre all those years ago—but he had never expected to find out actual deceit.

"You can't be serious," Kankuro laughed, like he couldn't believe it still, "My brother is not like that at all."

"Oh I think he is," Naruto said a little too quickly, and the brunet glared at him angrily. Naruto sighed and straightened up from his defeated position.

"I'm sorry, but this doesn't work out. We are not right for each other," the blond said sorrowfully. He turned his back to the undeniable evidence that was displayed in the messy bedroom. His boyfriend's infidelity felt like a punch in the face, but what made it all worse were his own lecherous thoughts about certain redhead, thoughts he had not tried to smother, thoughts that had eventually made him cross the line.

"You don't go anywhere," Kankuro interrupted his intentions.

"Come again?" Naruto said, his sorrowful blue turning into defiant navy.

"I gave you a job and a home. You can't just leave when you feel like it," the brunet ordered.

"I am not staying with someone who cheats on me," the blond exclaimed, gesturing towards the bedroom.

Kankuro looked sad and lonely, like he was suddenly all alone in the world. It was the same defeated aura he often had whenever his past life was brought up. It was the same discomfort and anxiety he showed whenever they saw a happy couple on the street, holding hands without worry of judgment. And whenever Naruto had tried to make him feel better by taking his hand, the brunet had only closed off even more.

"She's rich and influential. I never knew what she saw in me. But when she started courting me, people stopped gossiping about my failed marriage, they stopped speculating with whom I was living with. Please don't go, Naruto. I need you."

"I can't stay. You and me… This won't end in a pretty way, no matter if I stay or go," Naruto knew and once again his words made the brunet close off into a defensive shell.

"Well, where are you going to go? Couch surfing at your friends', who are already sick of your situation?" Kankuro asked with a stern voice, like he regretted the vulnerability he had just shown.

"To Gaara's place."

"No," Kankuro told and a string of desperation escaped to his voice. All of a sudden his hands were trembling and he pushed them in his pockets in an attempt to calm himself down.

"I will break up with Tenten, I promise," the brunet said when the blond just kept quiet. "Don't go."

"I can't stay," Naruto replied and his gaze found the lacy panties again, "This is too much."

"It was just one mistake," the brunet promised and seized him by the arm, pulling him close like he was asking for a hug. "Nobody means anything to me but you, Naruto. I love you, you have to believe me."

"N-No… I'm leaving. Now," Naruto said with his mind made up and politely distanced himself from the brunet. But Kankuro didn't look like he would let him go.

"Gaara is not what you think," the brunet told, and his hands were trembling again, "He can never give you what you have here."

"I'm sure of that," Naruto chuckled bitterly as he glanced at the messy bedroom, until he turned graver again. "Goodbye, Kankuro."

In an inflamed silence Naruto gathered his scarce belongings and packed them in a large duffel bag. With a strange sorrowful feeling, he zipped up his bag and left his key on the kitchen table.

When he closed to door behind him one last time, it truly dawned on him how much more he had lost in that fire than just the better part of his afternoon.

* * *

Gaara was well aware of those seven unanswered phone calls from Naruto. After the second one he had muted his phone and patiently waited for a text that never came, a text that would explain him why he was bothered like this in the middle of his workday. He hated talking on the phone, and his annoying blond friend knew that. His infuriating, stubborn friend whom he couldn't stop thinking about.

But Naruto was living with Kankuro now. No need for Gaara in that picture, and maybe that was why the blond had rejected him in such a harsh way on that night when he had lowered down his defense just for him.

For the millionth time this week, Gaara felt like an idiot.

When he got home, he would make himself a strong cup of coffee, read a book that would take his mind off of his life, and let Kurama sit on his lap like a pet. That was their evening ritual by now, and Gaara was surprised how eagerly the plush toy enjoyed his embrace. It was their little secret, and when he realized how happy it made him to spend his evenings in such fashion, he couldn't shake off the feeling that maybe his sister's concern for his well-being wasn't completely groundless.

The temptation of a peaceful evening pushed Gaara to fasten his pace until he almost ran along the street to his home. He was not lonely, and least of all he needed anyone's annoying company. Kurama was all he wanted. Most certainly he didn't miss Naruto, and his mind-wrecking presence was something he was happy to have avoided for the past week.

Naruto belonged to his past, into that strange yellow beam of light that sometimes wandered into his apartment in the middle of winter. Naruto was the strange combination of friendliness and danger that killed his concentration in those dull moments at work, when he was supposed to be productive but inside his head, he was anything but.

Naruto was that annoying little smudge that wouldn't wear off, he was a piece of food stuck between his teeth, bothering him with his endless presence until all he could do was to give in.

But Gaara would never give in, no—or perhaps, maybe only behind his locked closet door, with his pants in his ankles, caressing his skin with his eyes closed as if it was someone else there, instead of just himself.

Titillating buzz in his pocket got him momentarily tangled in his feverish thoughts, until he realized it was his cell phone and nothing else. He let it ring, not caring who it was that sent those buzzing vibrations all over his hip.

What he saw at his door was not what he had expected. Naruto stood there in the corridor, holding his phone on his ear, carrying a bag full of groceries. When he blond noticed him, the buzzing ended instantly.

Naruto's warm smile was the first thing to greet him, yet the closer Gaara got, the more fake it looked like. Wordlessly Gaara let his friend in, pretending he didn't notice the large duffel bag that seemed to carry Naruto's daily belongings.

This would be just a casual night with his friend, nothing else.

This would not be the point where his life turned upside down, unexpectedly, without a chance of return.

And that sorrowful smile on Naruto's lips was just a coincidence altogether, wasn't it?

When vivid blue gaze fixated on him, like those eyes were seeing only him and nothing else, the buzzing sensation began again but this time it was not his cell phone, and like an aphrodisiac the sensation spread all over his skin.

"Mind if I stay the night in here?" Naruto asked, his eyes never leaving his, his smile polite now but his gaze shamelessly disarming.

Gaara nodded, wondering how that annoying chunk had gotten between his teeth again.

* * *

 **A/N:** _I had so much trouble with the Kankuro/Naruto break up scene. It was the hardest thing to write, and I still don't know if it turned out very well. D: I wanted it to be more dramatic but I also didn't want Kankuro to be an utter asshole, so… ^^" And I wanted Naruto be somewhat decent, too—he did not the right thing when he got involved with Gaara while being in a relationship._


	10. This Is NOT What Friends Do

**A/N:** _Hey you all, thank you so much for all the positive feedback! I am melting in joy, my heart flutters happily from all this breathtaking support! *heart* I hope you all enjoy this chapter! ;D_

* * *

 **Chapter 10: This Is NOT What Friends Do**

Given how enthusiastically Naruto drowned himself into housework, cooking, the dishes, and then housework again, something was definitely wrong with him. That much peculiar enthusiasm could only be to hide something unpleasant troubling him.

On many occasions Gaara had meant to halt him and ask what it was, why he had unexpectedly appeared at his door with his belongings, but whenever Naruto saw him approaching, he busied himself with another task in another room.

The circus went on for two hours until Gaara got enough of it.

He cornered Naruto by the sink with a concerned stare and for a moment the clanking of dishes intensified as the blond scrubbed the plates in the water even more forcefully than before. But before Gaara had a chance to surround him with his burning questions, Naruto remembered just then that the cycle of the washing machine had ended and he hurried into the bathroom to hang the laundry to dry.

Gaara followed, all but ready to give up.

"What's wrong, Naruto?"

"I'm so sorry," the blond said and for a moment Gaara thought he was reacting to his question, but then Naruto turned around with a dull grey cloth in his hands. It was Gaara's once-white T-shirt that had met the end of its glory during the wash.

"I should've been more careful," Naruto cursed and held the wet piece of clothing like it was a body of a child. "I'll buy you a new one."

Gaara tore the shirt out of his hands and threw it into the corner with a wet splash against the tiles. Naruto snapped out of his regret, finally paying attention to the redhead.

"If you're not going to talk, I have no other option but to call my brother and ask what the hell has happened."

Naruto paled and all anxious rush left his body like it had been scared away. Gaara held a phone in his hand like it was a weapon, showing that his threat was not an empty one.

"Did you break up, or what?"

"Well… yeah, you could say so," Naruto admitted with audible reluctance and turned around to dig out more wet laundry from the washing machine. While he slowly hung them to dry, he explained, "It was a mutual decision. No hard feelings. Nothing dramatic."

"Last time I saw you two together there were no signs for that. What happened?" Gaara asked.

"Nothing happened," Naruto said more confidently now.

"Seven—no, eight—unanswered phone calls from you within few hours hardly sound like nothing," Gaara told.

"I just called to ask you when you'd be home," the blond shrugged.

"If your situation held nothing dramatic in it, nothing unplanned as you let me believe, then it seems pretty strange that you came here with such rush," the redhead pointed out.

Naruto's shoulders tensed and his movements stopped. His back was turned to the world, but the way his head hung defeatedly was a sign Gaara had seen too many times. That same submission had been present when Ino had dug out Naruto's shameful secret, or when the blond had spent his first nights in here, anxiously calculating what was expected of him.

A sense of nervous dread started to fill up Gaara's stomach, not burning him but cooling him as the picture he had kept on pushing away slowly started to form in front of him. It couldn't be that…

"Did he hurt you somehow?"

That was all Gaara could get out, the coolness had now spread all over him and he was squeezing his phone like it was guilty for the situation they were in. Naruto's head dropped an inch lower, his shoulders tensed up so slightly it almost looked like an unconscious twitch. Gaara kept on gripping his phone, holding his breath, his teeth slowly gritting into a confused grimace, until Naruto turned around. There was the sunniest expression on his face.

"He didn't hurt me. Your brother's a great person, and I'm forever grateful for his help."

Naruto's smile illuminated the small bathroom but something in that light was unconvincing.

"I am ashamed to admit that my heart was not completely in that relationship, and that's why it's better I won't waste his time more than I have already done. I'm sorry Gaara, I know how this must look like, and I apologize for treating your brother that way."

Even though it was said with a luminous smile, with a carefree light shining in the azure eyes, Gaara felt conflicted. He knew his brother, he knew his tendency to lie—another farewell gift their rotten home had given him—and there was something strange in this whole explanation that didn't give Gaara peace of mind.

"What about his late-night working hours? Didn't you say he could be working throughout the night, Naruto? With that Tenten or whoever it was?"

Hurt flashed in Naruto's face like he had been slapped, it was only a little twitch on his lips that threatened to bring down his smile, but Gaara noticed it nevertheless.

"He is devoted to his career," Naruto told and for a moment it looked like he truly believed his own words. But then the twitch returned to the corner of his mouth and it seemed like this time it was harder to keep at bay. Before Gaara could respond, Naruto walked out of the room and escaped, again.

Gaara found Naruto standing by the window in the main room. The blond was absentmindedly tracing his finger along a paper snowflake glued in the glass, while his desolate gaze swept over the rooftops and windows that greeted him on the other side. When he noticed Gaara's presence, he flashed him a weak smile.

"I don't want you to think badly of your brother. If anyone, I am the one to blame for this. I… I told him about the kiss, too. I'm sorry. I hope it won't make things more difficult between you two, but I thought he deserved to know, he deserved honesty."

For Gaara, it felt like a world was left out from those polished lines of words that were offered for him for explanation. He glanced out of the window, too, seeing the snowy rooftops and blackened windows, wondering what lay behind those walls of brick, under those roofs of tin.

Naruto's restless finger was tracing along the paper snowflake as if the geometric shape brought some comforting order to his mind. Hurt stung Gaara's heart for seeing his friend like this, and without thinking too much he took hold of Naruto's hand, stopping its robotic movement. He laced their fingers together and squeezed his palm, all the while keeping his eyes on the snow, on the winter, on the world that existed outside of their little apartment.

Their apartment? Gaara shook his head at the thought, privately scolding himself for such rushed interpretation.

This was not theirs, Naruto was not his, and sooner or later his blond friend would hop into another adventure that waited for him somewhere else, with someone else. This boring trap of an apartment, these dust-gathering corners, the weight of silence that inhabited this place could not be what Naruto was looking for in life.

And when Naruto freed his hand, flexing his fingers as if he had been squeezed too hard, Gaara understood he had been right all along. He was just a temporary landlord, a temporary person along the glorious path his friend had ahead of him. Naruto's path was a long line, sided with adventures one more thrilling than the other, whereas Gaara's path was a round circle, one without a beginning or an end, just a carousel of recurring thoughts, feelings and ideas, and in the middle… In the middle there was a person, a blond man with a blinding smile whom Gaara tried to keep still by going round and round on his orbit, hoping the target of his attachment wouldn't hop off and leave him here, alone, circling nothing but his despair and desolation.

What he waited for was Naruto to continue with the dishes, with the laundry, with anything that didn't require Gaara's help or presence.

What he didn't expect was Naruto to pull him into a one-arm hug, locking him to his side like he belonged there and nowhere else, and Gaara admitted it was pleasant in all its unexpectedness. Naruto's hold was confident and friendly, like he was charging solely on this shared contact, and the smile on his lips grew more and more genuine. Gaara looked at his face, at his grinning lips, until quickly drawing his attention elsewhere, to the mundane, meaningless view that the window offered.

Naruto pulled him closer, how that was possible Gaara didn't know, for it felt like their proximity couldn't be increased any more than this, and maybe just instinctively Gaara wrapped his arm around his friend, too, just to show him he was not alone, not without support or friendship. That if he wanted, he could open up and tell him, for whatever had happened earlier this afternoon could never ruin his image of Naruto, the smiling statue that stood in the middle of his round orbit like a paragon of hope.

* * *

By nightfall the whole apartment shone spotless thanks to Naruto's endless efforts. The smell of fresh laundry lingered in the air, accompanied by the spicy aroma of ramen Naruto had cooked earlier.

Gaara sat on the floor, reading a book like always, tuning out the world like he had learned to, but tonight something felt different. Naruto lounged on the bed, laughing at the cheap jokes of a TV show, and rather than exercising his genuine delight it seemed he was just looking for an easy way to lift up his mood.

Kurama the plush toy enjoyed the evening in the blond's embrace, its glassy eyes glinting like the real thing every time TV screen changed its color. They looked so happy, the fox and the boy, and Gaara was needlessly reminded of those lonely evenings he and Kurama had spent here together. He was not jealous of the toy, that was not the case, and the idea of him sitting on Naruto's lap instead almost made him laugh.

But when the TV screen turned blue, the ocean-like depth in Naruto's eyes grew darker than Gaara was comfortable with. Clad in his oversized orange T-shirt, Naruto was like the epitome of exuberance yet when the camouflage wore off—like it did when the blond thought no one was studying him—he looked more sorrowful than anything else.

Gaara glanced at his phone, then at the armor of orange that was not fooling anyone.

He wondered if he should ask more, try once again to crack open the shell even despite the denial that was sure to come. Should he tell that he had his suspicions, his doubts, concerning what had happened? Would it wipe away that hurt glow from his friend's face?

With a secret, small smile, Gaara closed his book and glanced at the ridiculous plush toy that sat between Naruto's crossed legs.

"It's already past Kurama's bedtime. We should go to sleep," the redhead said.

Naruto looked surprised. "He has a bedtime?"

"Yes, because he has to wake up early. But sometimes he feels troubled, and after we have talked, it's easier for him to go to sleep."

Naruto averted his gaze and a shallow smile took over his lips. "You two have quite an odd relationship, don't you think?"

"Yes, but I wouldn't trade it into anything," Gaara only replied, staring somberly at his friend.

"Say, Gaara…" the blond began, smiling like he was amused but there was no humor in his eyes, "Do you ever sleep next to Kurama?"

"Yes, when he needs a friend."

A faint smile lifted up Gaara's lips, but the expression was gone before anyone could witness it. The blond stared at the plush toy, lovingly caressing its soft fur.

"You know, when I was a kid, Kurama was the first to know all my secrets. He never judged me," Naruto said tenderly.

"What would you say to him now?" Gaara asked, glancing at the childhood memento.

Naruto stared at the little fox deep in thought, as if he opened his soul at the thing in that very moment. But as soon as it happened, the sensation passed and Naruto placed the plush toy next to the pillow like he was suddenly ashamed.

"It's getting late. We should really get some sleep," the blond told and lay down on the bed.

Gaara read the room for a moment, wondering if the blanket Naruto was pulling over himself was an invitation or a rejection. But when the blue eyes peacefully closed and no urgent stress seemed to haunt his guest, Gaara only nodded and made his way into the closet.

* * *

The next morning Gaara woke up at 5:15 and sneaked out of the closet. Naruto snored lightly on the bed, holding the blanket in his embrace like it was a person. With a small smile Gaara made his way to the kitchen and started with the breakfast. At 5:50 he had already taken a shower and the rich aroma of coffee floated all around the apartment. Soft snores got stronger, and with a frown Gaara headed closer to the source.

Naruto was still clinging to his blanket like a child, muttering something incoherent in his sleep like he had no care in the world. Given how his phone tried to buzz him awake at steady intervals, Naruto had slept through all of his alarms.

"Wake up, Naruto," Gaara ordered, shaking him by the shoulder.

Sleepily the blond turned towards him, inhaling deeply like he was filling up his lungs to the brim, and let out a soft sigh. Gaara scowled and shook him more forcefully. A few drops of water fell down from his wet, red hair and landed on Naruto's face.

Blue eyes blinked open. The hazy, pleasant glow in the cobalt depths was soon replaced by alarm and guilt when the blond noticed the stern redhead staring daggers at him by the bedside.

"Get up. It's 6 o'clock already. There's breakfast there, and you need a shower, too," Gaara commanded and stomped into the kitchen.

But what he didn't notice was a pair of sharp blue eyes following the movement of his hips, of his legs until he was gone. But even then, the scent of his shampoo stayed in the main room and Naruto inhaled, closing his eyes with a soft sigh.

* * *

A week went on in a similar setting, Naruto fussing over the housework and Gaara waking him up in the morning after none of the blond's alarms managed to get him up.

By now Naruto was accustomed to the stern grip on his shoulder that shook him awake to another bittersweet day. He always responded with a sunny, sleepy smile, knowing his beams would undoubtedly reach their destination. Over the week, Gaara's all but amused glare had slowly softened into a look of neutral care. His frustrated, quick yanks had lost their harshness and towards the end of the week, Gaara's touch on Naruto's shoulders was almost tender, his palm smoothing down the material of his shirt a bit longer than was perhaps necessary.

Ever since his first night here, his friend had not pressured him to open up about his reasons to break up with Kankuro. The weight on his shoulders felt crushing at times, and the stone inside his heart made it harder to breathe. Keeping secrets from Gaara wasn't his intention, but tainting the brothers' relationship with his own mistakes was something he avoided at all costs.

An unexpected phone call drew Gaara from the main room. Naruto didn't miss the slight surprise that lifted up the redhead's nonexistent brows, or the uneasy rush that escorted him into the kitchen. When Gaara closed the kitchen door behind him, the last Naruto saw of him was his expressionless face, a mask too familiar to let Naruto believe that everything was alright underneath.

When Gaara eventually returned with that blank armor hiding whatever he was feeling, Naruto greeted him with the warmest of smiles. Gaara sat down on the orange rya rug, his fingers absentmindedly going through the soft, thick strings as if he was caressing someone's fur.

"Who was it?" Naruto asked friendlily, ignoring the dark cloud above the redhead.

"It was mom," Gaara said after a while, reaching for a book. It looked like he was escaping into the pages once again.

"How's your mom?"

The book was opened and jade eyes were already scanning the rows of letters. Like only a half of him was still present in the conversation, Gaara replied monotonously, "She's fine."

"Is she?" Naruto asked even though he knew their little chat had already ended.

* * *

Thirst woke him up from his dreams. Gaara told it to go away but it kept on burning on his tongue. But even worse than the need of water were the fading remains of his nightly illusions.

It was only a dream, yet it was more—he had died, lonely and unloved, and everyone who had ever known him was buried six feet under, deep into the ground that slowly erased all proof of them having ever existed. It was only a dream, yet it felt like the future that loomed frighteningly in his horizon, closer and closer by each passing day.

Mom had called him last night, at first showing interest in his life by little questions about his job and possible girlfriends he might be hiding from her, but soon she had locked into the familiar ramble about father, repeating all over again the things that were painfully familiar to everyone in their family. He knew she was lost and in need of support but he couldn't give her that. Mom refused to leave father, or maybe she just wasn't able to, and briefly Gaara remembered the bruises he had pretended not to see the last time he had visited home.

It was more than he could bear on his shoulders and when the call had ended, the sound of river had carried to his ears like its eternal promise was waiting for him.

Gaara opened the closet door and tiptoed into the kitchen. Quietly he poured himself a glass of water. The inevitable future that lay in front of him faded out all hope he had ever had. It was the river or the loneliness, either one of those but nothing more. The only freedom he had was to choose in which order he would have them: the death of his loved ones versus his own end.

He walked quietly back, not wanting to wake up his friend, and in the main room he glanced at the blond sleeping on the bed.

But the cobalt eyes were open, staring back at him, blue turned into black like a river at night, and Gaara had a strange urge of getting lost into that stream. Naruto didn't say a word, just stared at him seriously like he knew of his future intentions. The closet door left ajar waited for Gaara to re-enter but the lonely darkness haunting in there didn't fascinate him at all.

Cautiously Gaara sat down on the bed and suddenly he felt like he was on a ship, sailing along the river into a destination he had not been able to see before. He lay down and under the blanket Naruto's warmth faded away his loneliness. Blue eyes evaluated him with such depth that Gaara began to wonder if he had actually spoken in his sleep. How else could Naruto read him so easily, unless he had actual proof of his current desolation? It felt like Naruto drilled through all of his masks and saw his despair as raw as it was. It felt like he understood, even without words.

When Gaara pressed his head against Naruto's chest, the blond entwined his arms around him, silently caressing his hair in comfort. No words were needed.

In the shadows of the night, this embrace felt more real than anything else. The idea of Naruto being gone for eternity almost stopped Gaara's heart, where had that image even come from? The idea of loneliness, of life without Naruto, felt so frightening Gaara couldn't even enter the thought further. Exploring such dark idea felt like dipping his toes in ice cold water, and instinctively Gaara pulled his legs closer to his body. Naruto's arms tightened around him, swatting away the long claws of dread.

And little by little, the inevitable fate that had been written in his stars began to shift and morph into something new and unfamiliar. They sailed like that through the dead hours of the night, holding each other until the weight on Gaara's shoulders lifted up like in a cotton cloud. And when morning came, his murky insights felt distant and fragile. When sunny blue eyes sleepily opened and smiled at him warmly, the last of those late-night thoughts faded away like shadows in sunlight.

* * *

Gaara stayed in Naruto's embrace maybe a bit longer than necessary. It was Saturday and the whole world was oddly quiet. It felt like it was just the two of them in this building, in this city.

Naruto looked at him like the embodiment of sun, his eyelashes thick and dark up this close. Gaara lowered his gaze as unwelcomed heat bloomed on his face, hoping his avoidance would make it go away.

"Did you have a bad dream last night?" Naruto asked with an easygoing smile, but the attentiveness in his cerulean eyes didn't match it.

"Yes, just a bad dream," Gaara admitted, a bad dream born out of bad reality, and if his friend hadn't been here last night, he surely would've sailed into a horizon much darker than this cheery sunshine here.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Naruto asked and held his hand under the blanket.

Gaara bit his lip deep in thought, wondering if he wanted to bring out the shadows once again.

"Maybe some other time," he offered and his friend ruffled his hair encouragingly. But then Naruto's touch lingered a bit longer than either of them expected, as if he was unable to withdraw his hand but instead wanted to explore that silky red softness even further. And suddenly they jumped off the bed, Gaara first and Naruto following, like they were in the middle of an evacuation drill.

The apartment filled up with clatters and clanks as Naruto scraped up a hurried breakfast. By the time Gaara exited the bathroom coffee was brewed and when the blond gave him a full cup, the scent of Gaara's shampoo floated into his nose. Naruto stopped, until a second later he resumed to whatever task he had been doing.

A large envelope rested on the table, still unopened.

"Aren't you going to open it?" Gaara asked when he saw it. It had arrived yesterday and unlike usually, this time Naruto had not rushed to see the insides.

"I'm going to open it after breakfast," Naruto promised, his back turned to the room.

"You said that yesterday, too," the redhead replied, sipping his coffee, "What is it?"

The blond shrugged like something had landed on his shoulders and he wanted to drive it away. "Just some results, no big deal."

"I didn't know you have had a doctor's appointment," the redhead said just to keep the conversation going. The more avoidant his friend was acting, the more curious he found himself getting over the sealed envelope.

"Well you know, I have this habit of checking up myself after every… relationship I've had," Naruto said uneasily, like he was ashamed for some reason. "Just a routine thing to get sure that everything's alright."

"You're talking about sexually transmitted diseases?" Gaara asked, putting down his cup.

"Yeah, stuff like that," Naruto admitted and wiped the kitchen counter with wide, lazy moves. He rinsed the dishcloth and spread it to dry, "Just a routine checkup."

"Then how come you haven't opened it yet?" the redhead wondered, his fork stopping in mid-air as he started to ponder it. The piece of omelet dropped down to his plate and without noticing this, Gaara eventually put the empty fork in his mouth.

"Naruto…" Gaara began and lowered his cutlery altogether, "Don't tell me you're afraid you've caught something? Does this have something to do with you and Kankuro breaking up?"

"W-What? No, not at all," Naruto denied hastily with an uptight smile, "Everything's fine. The results are clean like always, so that's why there's no hurry to open that stupid thing."

Gaara evaluated him over his coffee mug, clearly not as gullible as his friend wanted him to be. "Open it, Naruto. I'm sick of seeing that thing on the table, it takes up room and gathers dust."

The blond was about to argue, but soon he realized what his friend had meant. It was silly to postpone this, and the sooner he faced it the sooner he could get on with his life. Kankuro was almost religious when it came to these tests, surely he had demanded Tenten to go through the same? Or was it just because he had been homeless and easily taken advantage of, that the brunet had demanded the results from him at every given turn?

Bracing himself, Naruto snatched the envelope like the whole thing was ridiculous and trivial. In a theatrical way he sliced it open and pulled out the papers. After a moment of blank processing his face lighted up to a bright smile.

"See, it's clean as I said," Naruto told and tossed the papers on the table.

Gaara glanced at the documents, then at his friend again, wondering about the sudden relief in Naruto's voice.

* * *

"No, Naruto, we can't eat ramen at every weekday there is," Gaara sighed and threw back the packets of noodles the blond had only moments ago scooped up from the shelf with unhinged excitement.

Naruto gripped the shopping cart more tightly as he witnessed the cruel action directed towards his favorite food.

"What's wrong with ramen?" he asked, pouting like a kid who was denied of sweets.

Like a parent with thinning patience, Gaara pinched the bridge of his nose and drew in a calm breath. "There is palm oil in the noodles, something you don't want piling up in your artery. The excess salt is no good for your blood pressure either, and the amount of fibers is also something not to be overjoyed about."

Naruto squinted skeptically, "For someone who is notorious for skipping meals, you know suspiciously much about nutrition. Hey, Gaara, don't tell me you're concerned about my health?"

The frown on the redhead's face deepened. "You are reading way too much into a simple thing like that."

"Are you trying to make me live longer, Gaara?" Naruto continued, leaning lazily on the shopping cart while following the briskly striding redhead between the aisles. Gaara's movements turned more rigid and frustrated the more he kept on bombarding him with questions like that, and behind his back Naruto snatched a bag of chips into the cart. Quicker than he could smile at his own sneakiness, Gaara turned around—no doubt alarmed by the suspicious rustle—and returned it back on the shelf.

"Aren't you in a happy mood today?" Naruto muttered but quickly shut up as a vicious glare was sent his way.

Naruto fell silent after that, his feet dragging along the vinyl flooring with each step as if they were too heavy to be lifted up. Gaara sighed. For the whole week his friend had been binge-eating a variety of treats, and while Gaara had nothing against Naruto's eating habits, he had a dreading feeling that behind that new habit was an attempt to drown out an unraveled problem. He had thought that perhaps if he denied Naruto his treats, his friend would open up more quickly to him. But as he glanced over at the pouting blond whose heavy steps sliding along the floor grew more and more annoying with every minute, he realized his strategy might've been amiss.

Without further ado he tossed a bag of popcorns into the cart and the moment Naruto's legs stopped making that awful lazy sound, a soft smile stole its way to Gaara's face. In no time Naruto appeared by his side with the cart, his posture straight and his feet almost floating in the air.

* * *

On their way home Gaara feverishly pondered how on earth he could make his friend open up, for clearly there was something weighing on his shoulders that he didn't want to open up about. Even now there was a perpetual smile on the blond's face as he gazed up at the darkened sky, swinging a grocery bag in his hand. A cheery hum made it look like he was happy, but the look in his eyes told otherwise.

While Gaara wanted Naruto to bring up his shadows so that they could dissolve them together, he realized how reluctant he had been to do so himself. His family was a sad story and he didn't want to strengthen the realism by opening up about it. But maybe if he tried, it could lure out Naruto's secrets, too.

"Dad is drinking daily now," Gaara began quietly, and at first he was sure his voice got lost in the sound of their steps. But Naruto turned to look at him with a mix of concern and sorrow. Then he took his hand and for a while they just walked like that, hand in hand.

"He has lost his job and their debt is only growing. At this pace they will go bankrupt," Gaara told, leaving out the part where they would end up homeless, because he knew Naruto surely understood the unsaid consequences.

Naruto squeezed his hand and let out a compassionate sigh. Somehow a sad smile was still on his face.

"Parents are the worst, aren't they?" the blond said with a bittersweet laugh and Gaara found himself almost smiling. How was that possible? Then again, around Naruto even the most unreal things were happening.

"Are your siblings in any contact with them?"

"I believe Kankuro and Temari are paying their bills, at least the ones they can't afford themselves," Gaara told, and he knew it wasn't just out of love, god no, but because none of them wanted their parents to end up homeless and be forced to accommodate them.

"Your sister sounds like a great person. And Kankuro, too," Naruto said but managed not to sound as casual as he perhaps intended. The nervousness in him grew and it stopped only when Gaara squeezed his hand.

"What happened with you two?" the redhead asked in hopes of getting something other in response than just polished untruths.

"Your brother is a kind man—"

"He has a tendency to lie because back at home, telling any unfavorable truth to our father was a wrong option. So he learned to hide himself in the groundless flatters just so that dad would buy it and calm down. It worked and the habit stuck, and in order to spare other people's feelings he conforms to them, because he is dead scared of confrontation," Gaara explained and then went on, "What actually happened between you two, Naruto? Every time you mention him you look like you had seen a ghost."

"Well it's a funny thing," the blond laughed weakly as if there was actually something humorous in the situation. Snow was gently falling from the sky and it stuck to his hair like a collection of diamonds.

"He had this thing going on with his co-worker, that Tenten you remember? You know, it's not like I wasn't to blame, because of that kiss you and me had back then. I wasn't faithful and maybe he saw it and—"

"Naruto."

The redhead silenced his ongoing ramble and his jade eyes looked haunted. He let go of the blond's hand, and before any bittersweet expression could take over Naruto's face, Gaara entwined his hand around Naruto's waist, pulling him to a sideway hug. They were standing in the middle of the street, in the yellow beams of streetlamps, snowflakes landing on their hair and crowning them with their short-lived shine.

"I don't want you to think differently about your brother, though, he's a wonderful brother and I would hate if this stupid thing made a difference in your relationship," the blond said and he looked like the saddest lost soul on earth.

Gaara reached out to his blond hair and smoothed it until the diamonds were gone. With cold fingers he caressed his whiskered cheek and why were his fingers warming up so quickly? Was it that blush taking over Naruto's cheeks that was to blame, or was it his own heart beating faster, pumping blood into his limbs and making him feel suddenly dizzy?

"I'm sorry to hear what happened," Gaara said and withdrew his hand, "Don't blame yourself. I know my brother."

The faint red didn't vanish from Naruto's cheeks even when they continued walking. That damned thing was spreading on Gaara, too, and just to make himself feel more comfortable Gaara decided that the heat on his cheeks had to be due to the freezing temperature.

But when Naruto took his hand and laced their fingers together, Gaara's heart gave a few odd beats until picking up speed and making him breathless. Naruto was humming again that carefree melody as if none of this affected him much, and the perpetual smile on his face shone more brightly than the streetlamps or the stars above them.

* * *

In the evening, the two of them were sitting on the bed, watching a meaningless movie. A bowl of popcorn sat between them. Naruto had found a new way to entertain himself, a habit Gaara was sure to uproot in the future, but for now he let his friend have his fun. Naruto threw popcorn in the air, trying to catch it with his mouth, and while he was astonishingly good at this sport, more than few pieces flew stray and hid into the sheets.

Popcorn landed on Gaara's hair and before he could do anything about it, Naruto was already there, going through his red locks like an ape grooming its mate, and then eating the runaway treat like there was nothing gross about it.

"You have no manners," the redhead snorted and shook his head.

"Yeah I know," Naruto grinned with his mouth full of popcorn, "I could not do anything like this at Kankuro's—"

The sentence was cut off like a sudden censorship had found the thought and decided to get rid of it. Naruto's fist was in mid-air, holding a ridiculous amount of popcorn Gaara was sure would still somehow fit in his friend's mouth all at once, and when once piece dropped on the sheets, Naruto broke free of his thoughts and resumed eating.

"You can be yourself in here," Gaara said after a while.

"You're going to regret telling me that," Naruto laughed and another piece of popcorn escaped his fingers and jumped into the sheets. "Once I take over this place you won't be able to recognize this."

Gaara eyed the poster of pork ramen, the orange rug, the Rudolf, the paper snowflakes glued on the windows… He glanced at Kurama, at the orange bed sheets Naruto had bought yesterday that were now covered in crumbs. Without looking he knew the three or two bottles of "Power Energy" soap that stood in the bathroom, floating their awful scent so persistently around the small space that he had no choice but to get used to it.

"I think you have already taken over this place," Gaara said wryly and wondered again how it had happened.

"You're right," Naruto laughed and stuffed more popcorn into his mouth.

Gaara turned his gaze at his friend, at his T-shirt covered in crumbs, at the whiskers on his cheeks that were stretched into his trademark smile, at the corner of his lips. Gently, he swiped his finger across the side of Naruto's mouth and the chewing stopped instantly.

"You had crumbs in there," Gaara explained while his gaze slowly lifted up from those soft lips to blue eyes full of surprise.

"There are crumbs everywhere," Naruto said weakly, but his eyes never left Gaara's, and in the bottom of endless blue a spark ignited.

Gaara placed his hand on Naruto's chest—the warmth he hadn't remembered until now almost made him twitch—and slowly smoothed the crumbs off. He was not sure when the last crumb was dusted off and when this gesture of care turned into a caress. The muscles on Naruto's stomach tensed when his hand traveled across it—a sharp little breath was inhaled at the same time—and when Gaara's palm slowly slid upwards, towards his shoulder, Naruto exhaled with restrain.

Haze filled up cobalt eyes and Gaara forgot how to breathe, too. Quickly he pulled his hand away as if it would somehow make the fog in his head clear up. But as soon as he broke the contact, Naruto's palm landed on his stomach, hot and heavy and burning him in places Gaara thought wasn't even possible.

"You had crumbs there," Naruto smiled all but innocently while his hand slid to Gaara's backside and under his shirt.

"I don't have crumbs under my shirt," Gaara managed to mutter but his voice came out too husky to sound actually grumpy.

With an amused look in his eyes Naruto leaned over Gaara, accidentally tipping over the bowl of popcorns in the process. Now there were crumbs literally everywhere but neither of them made a move to clean up the mess they had made.

"My bad," Naruto apologized for his clumsiness while his fingers slid into Gaara's hair, tilting his head backwards. When his soft lips pressed on his exposed throat, Gaara forgot how to breathe.

"I promise I will clean it up afterwards," the blond hummed way too carefreely, before his smiling lips found Gaara's jawline with well-aimed little kisses.

As if a bolted door finally surrendered the fight and burst open, all the R-rated fantasies Gaara had been careful to censor flooded into the room and made his skin tingle with questionable anticipation. The clothes they were wearing felt thinner than ever as if the heat of Naruto's body melted them away. It was stupid how easily Gaara was affected by a simple contact like this, and when the fingers in his hair gently pulled his head back even more, he felt electrified as if he had stuck a fork in the wall socket.

Naruto pressing his crotch against his ass and bending him over the kitchen table before breakfast was served. Naruto lifting him up against the tiles in the bathroom and his tiny towel getting lost in the movement. Orange rug chafing against their knees during commercial break, pants lowered to their ankles and the coffee table serving as a squeaking support against Naruto's fervent thrusts.

Gaara was blushing furiously. He tried to concentrate on being angry, angry that his friend was able to turn him into a mindless pile of pudding like this. But all these plans flew away from his head when Naruto's thigh—accidentally or not—found its way between his legs. The uncompromising pressure that landed on Gaara's aching crotch felt hardly like a mistake, and when he gripped the back of Naruto's shirt a little more tightly, that damned, delighted hum was in his ear again. He wanted to shut his mouth—or at least, make it less obvious who was having the upper hand here.

"Na-Naru-to…" his velvet stutter whispered and the goddamned humming stopped almost instantly. Biting his tongue so that he wouldn't burst out laughing at the sudden seriousness in Naruto, Gaara brushed his lips against his cheek with a husky sigh. As an answer to the light shade of red that exploded on Naruto's face, Gaara chewed on his lower lip as if he was full of restrained innocence. The blue depths in Naruto's eyes began to boil as if someone had turned on a kettle.

In his mind Gaara could hear the loud whistle of a tea kettle signaling that the temperature had reached its highest possible point and water was evaporating not only on the surface, but on the inside too. The steam coming from Naruto made Gaara hot, too, and in one graceful movement the blond took his hand and pinned his wrist above his head.

The whistling sound got only stronger in Gaara's head when Naruto touched his lower lip with his thumb, his endless gaze boring straight into Gaara's half-lidded eyes. With one innocent lick Gaara greeted the finger resting on his lip, blinking his eyes like he was oblivious to the innuendo his actions carried. Naruto's hold on his wrist tightened, it felt like his whole body was shaking from excitement, and that damned carefree hum was long gone.

"You do realize what you are doing to me, Gaara?" the blond asked, his voice husky and weak, his blue eyes clouded with immense desire.

The redhead blinked innocently, giving a soft lick to the thumb that was forgotten on his lips.

"You caught me," Gaara breathed, softly moving his wrist against Naruto's tight hold as if proving a point, "What are you going to do to me now?"

Blood coursed through Naruto's veins faster than light, shooting south and making his pants tighter than ever. His heart was pounding like a hammer, his breath shallow and rapid, and the unmistakable desire reflecting in the jade eyes almost did him then and there.

Naruto pressed his lips against Gaara's, trying to keep it calm but sooner than he knew, their tongues met. The muscles on Gaara's arm tensed. Naruto's hold on him tightened. Gaara caressed Naruto's earlobe with his teeth, his fervent desire audible in his fast-paced breaths, and unapologetically he ground his hips against the target of his fantasies. The pressure was getting too much to handle. He needed relief.

The bed was squeaking under their restless weight, and a pillow dropped down to the floor. Naruto was tugging up Gaara's shirt, he was throwing his own on the floor somewhere. The clinking of belt buckles drowned into the expectant moans that fired up from every daring touch, and the small corner of late-night fantasies in Gaara's brain took over.

The crumbs of popcorn stuck to skin but neither of them noticed. Thanks to a spoken plea Gaara's wrists were tied to the headboard like he preferred, and for once Naruto understood to not question his choice, but let his belt go to better use than just lying on the floor with the rest of their clothes.

Naruto's touch sliding all over his naked legs and thighs made Gaara arch his back. For once he was too caught up in the moment to long for intoxication, as if he had forgotten he was about to let another person on his skin. Naruto's touch found his neck and the small of his back, his chest and stomach and when he finally seized Gaara's cock, pale skin all over heated up and a sultry blush took over his face.

The belt around his wrists tried its best to keep his trembling body in place when Naruto took him into his mouth. The tongue swirling around his tip almost did him on that instant, but as if knowing his nonexistent limit Naruto had the audacity to slow his pace. With every caress Gaara felt like on edge. This was the moment he had secretly pictured in the private rooms of his mind, behind windows fogged with steam. Having the real Naruto want him this way felt like a thought too big for his swollen brain to process. Naruto wanted him, and the idea made him more feverish than any fantasy so far. It was more than enough to make tectonic plates collide, fireworks light up in the sky and champagne corks pop off when built-up tension was finally too much to handle anymore.

"I-I'm c-c-coming—" he warned but Naruto never pulled his mouth away.

It was too much, the sight of Gaara breathing heavily, wrists finally resting relaxedly against the belt, his black eyelids almost closed and his eyes staring at him but seeing nothing. His cheeks were flushed with unashamed red and a light tremble was shaking up his body.

When Naruto eventually freed him from his restrains, Gaara sat up shakily, not paying attention to the pieces of popcorn glued to his back. The only thing he had eyes for lay in front of him in a shape of perfect blond, with skin tanned even in the middle of winter, cerulean eyes hazed with desire.

"Y-You don't have to… if you haven't done this before," Naruto stuttered when Gaara touched his hips.

Oh how ironic it was to see the mighty blond stuttering like he had lost his brain, his boldness momentarily lost and no trace of dominance left in his trembling limbs. For an answer to Naruto's courtesy Gaara kissed him once and then lowered down between his legs.

No more than a touch on Naruto's cock was needed to make the blond moan in anticipation. Gaara licked the precum from the tip and Naruto hissed, his breathing fast and excited, his cobalt eyes dark and fiery like a boiling ocean. His voice was light and needy, almost innocent, but the desire dwelling in his foggy blue eyes told that this pressure glowing through his skin had been building up for a long time already. His fervor only deepened when Gaara took him into his mouth, his actions cautious and tentative due to lack of experience. But none of it seemed to matter when all the blood rushed into that one ready-to-burst organ, making Naruto stone-hard between Gaara's lips, and when the redhead innocently glanced up at the blond, it was the thing that finally did it.

"G-Gaara, I'm—" he never got to finish his sentence when Gaara gripped his hip, riding him through the climax with his tongue and mouth. Sweet, airy and out-of-breath whimpers flying away from Naruto's throat were like music to Gaara's ears. The beautiful blond mess that rested on the sheets was forever engraved into his memories, memories he was sure to visit maybe more often than he ever let anyone know.

Under the shower Naruto held him in an embrace, the water and his touches caressing Gaara all over, and if it hadn't been the endorphins clouding Gaara's judgment, he would've never let Naruto wash him with that god-awful soap. Now they both smelled like "Power Energy" and Gaara coughed as a weak protest. While he silently muttered complaints about the notorious scent, at the same time he had a feeling like Naruto was all over his skin.

Gaara's wrists were still red from the belt, his jade eyes full of challenge and life Naruto had never seen before. Just that one look inviting him further was enough to make him want to go again. But then amusement filled up the jade depths and Gaara stepped away from the shower, turning the temperature cool. Naruto yelped and turned it off, refusing to find the humor in that joke. As an answer to his pouting, Gaara only threw a towel at his head.

* * *

Tenten breathed serenely next to him, fast asleep like she had no care in the world. After making sure she wouldn't wake up, Kankuro took his phone and started writing a message.

' _Inuzuka, my man! Wanna bone like last time? I'm available this evening.'_

Smiling a little by himself, he sent it.

Two seconds later, Tenten's phone beeped loudly on the nightstand.

"Mmmh?" she mumbled sleepily, cracking one eye open.

Kankuro blinked as he noticed to whom he had accidentally sent his dirty little invitation.

 _Shit. Shit. Shit!_

"G-Go back to sleep, hon. It was nothing," Kankuro cooed and kissed her forehead.

"No, it sounded like a text. I better check it. What if it's about Granny?" she said, more awake now, referring to her relative who had been suddenly hospitalized two days prior.

"Look, why don't we just rest for a while longer. If it's important, they'll call you," Kankuro tried to prevent her from getting up. He glanced at the phone resting on the nightstand, wondering if it was protected by a password of some kind.

"Let's just go back to sleep, hon," he cooed.

But she had other thoughts and snatched the phone from the nightstand before he could stop her.

"Oh, it's from you?" she smiled quickly before tapping the message open.

But her sweet smile quickly turned into a look of horror. Horror was followed by sadness but it didn't last long, as anger took her over.

"What the hell is this, Kankuro?" she demanded loudly and sprung out of the bed.

He got up, too and tried to master up his most innocent expression. "You got it all wrong. It was just a joke."

"A joke? Really, Kankuro," Tenten hissed dangerously and stepped closer to him. "Is that what you two did on his cottage last weekend?"

"N-No, I could never cheat on you, hon―"

"Stop calling me that. You're lying," she spat and hurt flashed in her hazel eyes. "I… I knew there was something going on. I thought you were just stressed, but then I started noticing the way you act around Kiba and how you always found time for him, even though to me you told you were too busy to even talk to."

"Look, we're just friends―"

"Cut that crap, Kankuro. The least you can do is be honest with me," Tenten cut him off angrily and cracked her knuckles, a habit she had learned from her years-long martial arts activity.

Kankuro gulped, anticipating a punch before realizing Tenten was a fine lady. She wouldn't hit him.

And she didn't. But she gripped his front and lifted her knee up to meet his crotch and before he knew it, he was crouching on the floor and clutching his family jewels in apparent pain.

"Shit… Tenten," he wailed as the pain refused to subside.

"You're the shithead here, Casanova. And I'm not through with you yet. I'm going to call Kiba and tell him what an arsehole you are. And then I'm going to demand he fires you, or what would be even better, that he'd make you one of those toilet cleaners so that you'd be face to face with the shit that you are," Tenten snapped and hurriedly gathered her belongings.

"Tenten―"

"I don't want to see you ever again," she cut him off angrily and stormed out of the apartment.

Silently cursing, Kankuro slouched to the bed and plopped down on it. He found his phone and called the only person in the world he felt like he could really open up his heart to.

" _Yo, what's up?"_ Kiba's voice called from the other end of the line.

"Hi. Got a minute?" Kankuro asked with a tired voice.

" _Always for you, hehe. What is it this time?"_ his boss asked.

"I screwed it up. Tenten found out. And she's going to call you," Kankuro explained and rubbed his face.

" _Aw man, with the way you were living your life that was bound to happen. Didn't I tell you to treat her nicely? Don't tell me she let you go without a good kick in the nuts, eh?"_ Kiba chuckled and it made Kankuro smile a bit, too.

"Well, she found the place that hurt me the most," he admitted, rubbing his face tiredly.

" _You're a shithead, Kankuro. It's time you learn your lesson, don't you agree?"_ Kiba continued. He sounded good-mooded and carefree, how was it possible he was always like that? Like a summer cloud sailing in the sky, free and bound by nothing.

"I'm an idiot, alright. But what do I do know?" he asked with a pained voice.

" _You gotta apologize to her. And to Naruto, too. But if I were you, I'd wait for a couple of days for her to calm down. If you piss her off even more, it won't be pretty. Trust me, I know. And thanks to you, I'm going to get an earful of complaints too. Do you think just because I'm her boss she would spare my pitiful nuts from her kick?"_ Kiba said and chuckled again like only he could.

His laughter brought a cloudless, azure sky to his mind. And he could already see his boss with his mind's eye, sitting on the deck of a white boat with a glass of expensive champagne. It was summer and they were alone on the sea. But now it was winter, and he didn't even know if he owned a boat.

"Alright. I'm going to apologize to them," Kankuro promised.

" _Yeah, you do that,"_ Kiba encouraged him. His smile was audible in his voice and again Kankuro found himself responding.

" _But you know, Kankuro, you gotta talk to someone about this,"_ Kiba suddenly turned serious. _"What you're doing isn't cool. You got some serious problems if you think you can act like that."_

"Yeah, I know," Kankuro sighed and rubbed his face again, "I'm going to fix it, I promise."

" _You do that, or as your boss, I'll send you into therapy,"_ Kiba told concernedly.

"Got it. Thanks," Kankuro replied.

" _If you wanna talk, we could go to my cottage this weekend. There are some quality-wines I'd like to introduce to you,"_ Kiba invited.

Kankuro snorted. "That sounds like you're trying to get me tipsy again."

" _Ooh, what if I was?"_ Kiba chuckled, _"That was one heck of a night, I tell you."_

"It sure was," Kankuro sighed and smiled slightly, "It was nice talking to you, man. I mean it."

" _Hey, no problem. You're a good guy, when you stop being such an asshole,"_ Kiba reminded him.

"Thanks," Kankuro sighed tiredly and hung up.

He rubbed his face and tried to gather his wandering thoughts. Kiba's smile refused to leave his mind. Imagination was such a beautiful place. They were in the middle of a meadow, walking hand in hand. All he could see was his young boss. Sun was behind him, coloring the tips of his brown, spiky hair into an auburn crown. His canine-like eyes were squinted shut and when he grinned, his sharp fangs perfected that white row of teeth.

Out of all the people he had ever met, Kiba was the first one to see through the layers of his lies.

In the very beginning his boss had made it clear that lying wouldn't work on him, but instead of ever being angry at Kankuro's natural attempts of fooling him, he always kept his cool and approached his sayings in an analytical way.

Kankuro had not expected that.

He had expected anger, disappointment and… violence. Or at least some sort of humiliation and hurt.

But his boss never descended to that. Patiently, time after time, Kiba expressed his opinions and thoughts―which at times were brutally honest and perceptive―and maybe tried to make him see that lying and manipulation would only lead to a dead end.

That was only one of the reasons he enjoyed his company. Although being wealthy and relatively good-mannered―at least as long until his patience was truly tested―Kiba Inuzuka never hid his true orientation if it happened to come up. He didn't flaunt with his identity but wasn't ashamed of it either, and the last thing he would let happen was to be crammed into a narrow closet of close-mindedness.

Kiba was aware of his simultaneous relationships.

In the very first evening Kankuro had told him about Naruto and Tenten. At that point, he had already been glancing at the door, expecting to be kicked out at any upcoming minute. Instead, Kiba had laughed like he knew it all along, and told him to grow a spine and get a grip on his life.

Sure, his boss hadn't refused to have a little fling with him, too, but had warned him that if their relationship would ever take a more serious turn, he would have to say goodbye to his lovers.

Up until now, they were only goofing around. He could tell Kiba wasn't really serious with him.

Even so, Kankuro couldn't help but feel drawn to him and his painful honesty.

* * *

 **A/N:** _I hope Gaara's kink wasn't upsetting to anyone, that was not my intention. ^^" I don't know if he will give it up after this._


	11. Mr Uzumaki And His Ways

**A/N:** _A big, biiig thank you for all of you who have supported this story so far! Be it faving/following/reviewing/reading, or all of these, Thank You! *heart* I try to update more faster in the future, I know I am so bad when it comes to things like these XD_

 _THIS CHAPTER IS INSANELY LONG. DDDDD: I hope it makes up the long wait? ^^"_

 _There's so much in this chapter but I hope the circle will close, if you know what I mean. And I've been working on this for so long that I don't know if this is good or crap, it could be a bit of both, but in any case, I hope you enjoy and have a good time. :)_

* * *

 **Chapter 11: Mr. Uzumaki And His Ways**

It was 6 a.m. and Gaara buttoned up his woolen coat. Due to the nasty flue going around the office, many were forced to take a sick leave, and this in turn piled up assignments on the shoulders of those few lucky who had been so far saved from the illness. If he got to the office by seven, he would have a few hours of effective solitude until the rest of his colleagues began pouring in.

With one last glance Gaara evaluated the snoring heap snuggling under the blanket.

"Naruto, I'm leaving now. You should get up so that you won't be late," he called and the blond gave him a sleepy approval and a thumbs-up.

Cautiously Gaara closed the door and on his way to the train station he wondered what would happen to his… friend? Was Naruto his friend now or something more already? The idea of having a boyfriend made Gaara's knees suddenly wobble and before anyone could witness his momentary weakness, he fastened his pace with an annoyed expression on his face. When no one was looking at his way anymore, he let his facial features soften.

He had never really had a girlfriend, for Tsunade had hardly met the image of the term no matter how fiercely she had clung on the ideals of youth. He had never had a boyfriend, either, and all the courting with dates and such felt foreign to him. Then again, Naruto was already living with him, and they had reached the state most people got to only after, what, four or five dates? Gaara wasn't sure, and given how the stages of his life had so far been always easy to classify by the heteronormative mindset of their society, now he felt slight unease at being not able to put this under any common term.

His train was late. The digital numbers on his phone told it was 6:22 already and no matter how much he tried to distance his wandering thoughts from a certain blond man, they strayed back to the snoring heap on the mattress. He was about to call him and see if he had notoriously slept through his alarms like usually, but right then his train arrived.

Crammed into the vehicle with other early morning commuters, Gaara found a somewhat comfortable spot to spend his ride on. Naruto's number was still on his screen, as if waiting for him to take action. Hardening his expression into a look of annoyance, Gaara called him.

" _Mmmh?"_ the sleepy voice of Naruto sighed on the other end of the line.

He knew it, the goof was still buried under the blanket, wasn't he? Gritting his teeth, Gaara commanded, "If you don't get up now, you'll be late Naruto."

" _Yes, I'll get up right now,"_ the blond mumbled and Gaara was sure he could hear his eyes close. When a co-passenger noticed his grumpy frown which intensity would be enough to cool down even the hottest of take-away coffees, Gaara touched the spot between his nonexistent eyebrows and willed his expression to soften.

"Did you get up?" he asked but only a soft, sleepy whine greeted him on the other end.

 _The idiot fell asleep again, didn't he?_

And while he would've loved nothing more but to bark some selected threats to scare him sleepless, as if his unmerciful grip could shake the blond awake just through sound waves, Gaara decided to settle for a different approach.

"Na-Naruto," he said softly with a touch of velvet in his voice.

A bemused cough carried from the other end of the line, and then some rustling of bedclothes. Gaara glanced quickly around, feeling eyes on him but deciding it was none of their business how he chose to wake up his boyfriend. Boyfriend. The word made Gaara's cheeks warm up and he closed his eyes, hoping it would help.

" _Gaa…?"_ a tired mumble asked and then some more rustling of sheets. When it fell silent after that, the redhead sighed in disappointment.

"N-Naruto," he tried again, his voice silky and inviting, "P-Please, get up."

Furious rustling of bedclothes was heard and then it sounded like Naruto was drawing in a sharp breath.

" _Ga-Gaara?"_ he asked, caught up by the alluring bedroom voice like an unsuspecting prey. His voice was cleared of tiredness and his surprised, heavy breaths told Gaara that he now had his undivided attention. Most likely Naruto was already up by now, and the double-meaning of that thought made the heat on Gaara's cheeks darken.

"Naruto," the redhead whispered seductively and the blond's breath hitched in apparent anticipation. "Take off your clothes, all of them, and then…" he went on, his voice soft like satin until an amused smirk took over his lips, "Go to the goddamned shower and get the hell ready for work, Naruto, you're going to be late."

And with that, he hung up and wondered just how many pairs of curious eyes were currently glued to his blushing face in the packed train.

* * *

"Hi dad," Kankuro picked up the phone call with reserve so well-learned he failed to mask it.

"Kankuro, my boy, I hope you aren't busy this weekend. Your mom and I are going to make dinner on Saturday. It will be beef with vegetables and chanterelle soup, and I promise the meat won't turn out rubbery like last time," Rasa laughed.

Last time had been in spring, and far worse than the rubbery meat had been his father's rapid intoxication, which had led to near-violent threats much to no one's surprise. Only Sakura had been deeply shocked for having witnessed such savage family dynamics she had been protected from for so long. After the incident, his wife of that time had politely refused all similar gatherings, pleading to her increasing business trips.

Even after all those months, Kankuro could vividly recall his tipsy father accidentally dropping pieces of meat on the grass—they had been outside, taking advantage of their brand-new barbeque—only to toss them back on the grill like no hygiene was required. It was impossible to know if Mr. Hedgehog—who had been a keen visitor in their backyard that summer—had decided to take a shit on the lawn just by the grill like he had a notorious habit of doing, and if his unapologetic feces were now a part of their meal. The soiled food got mixed with the decontaminated pieces, and in the end Kankuro had found it difficult to find his appetite.

And now the promise of similar family-gathering loomed in front of him again. Kankuro responded with a nervous chuckle and then rubbed his forehead, "Did you say this weekend?"

"Yeah. We thought it would be wonderful to see that new girl of yours, too. What was her name again?"

Kankuro gripped his phone and forced a grin to his face, so that his smile would be audible in his voice, "Tenten would love to see you, too. I know you would get along great. Unfortunately she is not available on the weekend. She had to, uh, attend to a business trip abroad and I'm afraid it'll take a month until she's back."

"Oh, that's too bad. But you are still coming, aren't you?" Rasa asked.

"I would love to, that dinner sounds delicious," Kankuro replied and there was no denying his parents were more than skilled when it came to cooking—at least when even the most minimal hygiene requirements were respected. "Let me just check my calendar first. It has been crazy at work lately."

"Oh, that's my boy, working hard and making your parents proud," Rasa praised and the smile in his voice felt like a friendly pat on the shoulder. His voice was cheery and full of optimism, and for once the usual alcohol-infused indignation wasn't there. Even so Kankuro couldn't help but wonder if this was only thanks to his slowly ascending drunkenness, and if the boom of mood would soon descend to bitter anger and irritableness like so many times before.

Judging by the relaxed tone of his voice, Rasa was through his second wine glass or his first gin and tonic.

"You know, the last time you visited, your new car was the only thing those guys talked about for the next week," Rasa said with apparent pride in his voice. Kankuro remembered the solemn ring of old men from the neighborhood, gathered around his Mercedes, each of them showing off their apparent enthusiasm in automobile mechanics as if it were the highlight of their social lives.

"It's a fine car," Kankuro admitted without enthusiasm.

"Yeah, but you know nothing about cars," Rasa told and it started to sound like an insult. The edge of his voice carried resentment as if Kankuro had still managed to disappoint him even despite his best efforts.

"All you had interest in was theatre, do you still remember?" Rasa asked and his voice held a shade of unease.

"Yeah I remember theatre," Kankuro admitted and stopped to scratch some invisible dirt on the coffee table, as if it needed his immediate attention.

"Theatre is nothing but guys in pantyhose pinning each other down. It's disgusting. Those fruitcakes and feminists are everywhere these days and it makes me sick," Rasa growled and slammed his glass on the table. So he was indeed drinking.

"Come on, dad, aren't you exaggerating a bit?" Kankuro responded, once again refusing to pick a side—whether to correct his father's biased opinions about culture and art, or trying to soothe his unpredictable mood, hoping he wouldn't get too angry and end up taking it out on mom.

"Don't tell me you sympathize with those fags," Rasa barked and his son froze at the derogatory expression.

"D-Dad, you know I d-don't," Kankuro tried to laugh it off but it didn't come out right. He expected mom to say something in the background but she stayed silent. She always did.

"So is mom alright?" he asked as the image of Karura's defeated posture refused to leave his mind.

"She is here somewhere," Rasa said irritably and it sounded like he was getting up, "Do you want me to go look her up?"

"N-No, no. It's fine," Kankuro quickly said and gripped the armrest of the couch like it would stop his father. Just to change the subject, he forced the smile back to his voice and asked, "So dad, how's job hunting?"

"Pretty good, actually," Rasa replied and the upturn in his mood made Kankuro let out a sigh of relief, "I met these guys down at the pub and it looks like I can get a part-time job through them."

"That's great," Kankuro said and wondered what kind of occupational opportunities a shabby bar with a more or less changing selection of drunks could offer. Most likely it was just an excuse for his father to go there, but nevertheless he appreciated his efforts on striving out of unemployment.

"You're a good kid, Kankuro. And I know I shouldn't have any favorites, but you and I understand each other on a level no one else does, right? Gaara and Temari, they take after their mother," he said as if it was a bad thing, "But you are just like me, only more successful."

"Y-Yeah," Kankuro conformed uneasily, wondering if his father was drinking beer, wine or spirits as they spoke, if his mother was in the house or somewhere else.

"I am so sorry what happened with Sakura," Rasa said with empathetic melancholy, a state he reached usually after three glasses of wine. "I know you did your best, son, and no girl in this world could get a better husband than you."

"Thanks, dad," Kankuro replied meekly, "I really tried my best."

"I know, son, I know. To be honest I'm a bit worried about your brother. Your mom told me he has no girlfriend, no friends, no plans to start a family. What the hell is that kid doing with his life? It was all better when he still had his wife, even though there was a lot to be desired in that woman," Rasa growled and something clinked in the background—like a glass being refilled.

"Gaara is doing fine I'm sure," Kankuro cut in hurriedly before the old man's ramble could get any further, "Did you see the game—"

"I swear there is something wrong with that kid," Rasa interrupted him as if he hadn't heard a word. "Both of you were odd as kids that's for sure, but thank god you grew up to be a real man."

"Dad—"

"I still can't understand why he was so keen on sleeping in your room, or why you had to drag him to the rehearsals with you. I swear it did him no good, given the life he's leading now. You were too soft with him and you let him get ruined, didn't you?" Rasa muttered and the temperature in his voice rose higher and higher, towards the point where his mood would permanently sag into uncontrolled anger.

"Dad. He wanted to come with me. He had no hobbies of his own, so I tried to be a good big brother for once in my life," Kankuro snapped before he could mask his reaction, "And he was afraid of the dark." Or more accurately, his little brother had been scared of their drunken father bellowing behind the door, at first threatening to hurt them until eventually descending into self-pity and overflowing apologeticness.

"Don't you use that tone with me," Rasa snapped back and somewhere in the background it sounded like a door was shut. A thought of his mother escaping flashed in Kankuro's mind and his pulse sped up.

"Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I just… Did you see the game yesterday?" he asked with that fake-smile once again in his voice.

"What game?" his father asked, baffled.

"They lost by seven points," Kankuro told the only thing he cared to remember of the sport news he had gone through earlier. Little things like these were something he memorized just in case he ever needed to distract his father.

"Oh that. That was bad. They got their asses kicked like a bunch of girls," Rasa laughed but no one shared his humor.

"Yeah, well. It was bad, yeah," Kankuro rambled and rubbed his face, wishing he could somehow make sure his father's mood wouldn't drop even when their call would end. "Dad, hey. Um, I really wish you get that job. Please keep me updated on how you and mom are doing," he said the words he didn't agree with in his heart, "And I am more than happy to help with the bills. I'll call you next week about them. In the meanwhile, just try to relax, okay?"

"Ah, boy. What did I ever do to deserve a son like you?" his father praised again, tears in his voice. Rasa was just one breath away of spiraling into nostalgic memories of his own youth, of the rottenness of his long-dead parents, of all the injustices he had faced—and was still facing according to himself—but Kankuro stopped his train of thought.

"Dad, I'm afraid I have to get going now. I'm a little busy, but I'll talk to you later, okay?" Kankuro said and after taking in a deep breath, continued, "It was nice talking to you. Tell mom I said hi."

"Oh I get it, you young people are always so busy," Rasa chuckled and his good mood sounded genuine enough. Kankuro let out a relieved sigh and felt comfortable enough to let his father go.

Even when the call ended, Kankuro couldn't rid himself of the weight on his chest. No matter how far he ran, his father was only a phone call away and his mother's silent presence in the background revived the guilt in his guts each time.

He wanted the caress, he wanted the relief, yet every time he was a good son he got the punch, too. And his mother was black and blue but they never talked about it. Sometimes guilt and worry polluted his heart to a point he dreamed of stabbing his old man, just blind hits through the ribs towards the heart, a murder with passion.

-o-o-o-

A knock at his door startled him. He slumped against the couch even more, not feeling like letting in his guest. As always, Gaara was punctual.

"Hi, come on in," Kankuro welcomed him with an easy smile on his face, once again pushing away the tangle of undefined unease that pulsed in him somewhere.

Gaara stepped into the apartment. There was nothing in there that would remind of Naruto, or of any other person who might be living there now. The place looked exactly like he remembered. No photos, no memorabilia or anything that could be interpreted as a declaration of personal preference. The whole apartment was polished and eerily tidy, like those soulless compositions he had seen in magazines dedicated to interior design.

Gaara went to the kitchen cabinet in search of a bowl for the chips he had brought and was startled at the empty bottles stored on the lowest shelf.

"Kankuro? What the hell is this?" he asked, opening the cabinet more so that the brunet could see, too.

"Oh. I was hosting a party," Kankuro explained.

Gaara regarded his brother, at the wine glass in his hand, at the half-empty bottle of wine on the table.

* * *

They sat on the couch, watching a documentary. A monotonous narration filled the silent space around them.

Gaara evaluated his brother's bleak expression. The wine glass stood on the coffee table, long forgotten as if it had exceeded its ability to deliver ease. Naruto had demanded him to stay in touch with his brother, time after time reminding him how much the brunet cared for him. It seemed like the blond saw imaginary virtues in the people around him, for in the past years Gaara couldn't recall him and Kankuro having exactly warm relation. To end up in that point had been a mutual wish, he told himself, and felt comfortable again at his choice of not reaching out earlier.

"So…" Gaara began eventually, "How are things with Tenten?"

The unmasked accusation in his voice wasn't lost on Kankuro. His joyless expression didn't change, only changed its tone.

"I see Naruto told you," the brunet said and quietly ate the chips.

"I think your version of the story would be more interesting to hear," Gaara replied.

"Believe me, it's not," was all Kankuro settled for, until he turned to his little brother a bit more resentfully, "Why are you here, anyway?"

"Because you're my brother, and I am worried about you," Gaara fluently told the words that sounded more like something Naruto would come up with.

"Naruto told you to come here, didn't he?" Kankuro asked, knowing that it would be exactly what the blond would do. It made his heart hurt in a bittersweet way.

"I came here because I haven't seen you in a while," Gaara replied patiently, wondering why he was speaking these sentences that felt so foreign to him. He refused to admit Naruto had perhaps influenced him as greatly as it seemed, and before this strange imitation could go any further, he changed the subject altogether.

"How's work?"

Kankuro pursed his lips deep in thought. Ever since he had royally screwed up things with Tenten, the atmosphere in the office had changed for the worse. No matter how polite and good-mannered his colleague turned-ex-lover was, Tenten spared no wrath whenever she was forced to remember his betrayal. By now the whole office was aware of him mistreating Tenten, and his coworkers handled him with extra reserve. It made him feel even more isolated than before, and the only bright spark in the middle of this mess was that Tenten had not exactly mentioned with whom Kankuro had fooled around with. The gender of his secret affair was never really mentioned, but everyone who had to hear about the incident assumed it had been a woman.

He didn't know if Kiba had something to with it or not but whatever the reason, Kankuro felt relieved he hadn't been outed in a way like this.

"I've thought of looking for a new job," Kankuro told eventually.

"Why? You just got there. And isn't it making things easier with, eh, Tenten?" Gaara asked and the acid judgment was back there in his voice.

"We broke up," Kankuro told and hoped the subject would be dropped.

"How did that happen?" Gaara asked, a little bewildered at the rapid turn of events.

"You don't want to know," the brunet dismissed.

"Why?" Gaara asked and Kankuro frowned in irritation.

"I could ask you questions too, you know, like how did you end up kissing Naruto behind my back?" the brunet retorted and the redhead fell silent, an ashamed pink hue creeping to his cheeks. How was it possible for him to look so innocent and guilty at the same time, Kankuro didn't know, but he found it incredibly difficult to stay mad at him. He had never really seen such honest display of attraction on Gaara's face.

With a tired sigh, Kankuro pulled Gaara to his armpit and ruffled his red hair in a brotherly way.

"You are horribly see-through sometimes, did you know that?" the brunet teased and the redhead swatted his hand away.

While combing his hair back into order, Gaara gnarled, "And you are an idiot sometimes."

"I know I am," Kankuro agreed with a little chuckle full of sorrowful undercurrents, "There's no denying that."

Kankuro's phone buzzed on the table, signaling a new text message. By the time he tapped open the first one, another arrived. Kankuro's demeanor darkened like a shadow had walked through him.

The message read: _'You know nothing about real hardships or hard work. Compared to us, you have it easy. Your mother found a thick stack of bills she had forgotten to pay, so you need to take care of it. She keeps on forgetting stuff like that but if you visited us more often, you would already know this.'_

And the second one read: _'If you really cared for us, none of this would've happened. Now we're heading to bankruptcy and it's your fault. How are you going to fix this? We need to find a solution, fast.'_

"Shit," Kankuro cursed, putting his phone away. How long had it been since their little chat? Two hours?

"Who was it?" Gaara asked, curious. The phone buzzed again. Kankuro looked alarmed and pained.

The last thing he wanted to do was to let Gaara into his stress and worry. Today, it seemed, was one of those days their father had decided it was Kankuro's fault their lives had gone awry, that their incomes couldn't meet up with the costs they faced. Of course, his parents spiraling down into poorness had nothing to do with Rasa losing his ability to work due to his unhinged alcoholism he refused to admit. It had nothing to do with their reckless spending, which—Kankuro was slowly realizing—might've have more to do with Karura's aspiring dementia than with any other reason. But even with that taken into account, he had seen the amounts Rasa spent on liquor and tobacco. Karura had long ago lost her spirit to tell her husband otherwise.

"It's just dad. Nothing you need to worry about," Kankuro finally explained and ruffled Gaara's hair again.

But Gaara gripped his wrist and held his hand, an alarmed look in his eyes, "Why is dad texting you?"

Kankuro sighed, determined to not burden his little brother with this. But the hold on his hand tightened, not letting him forget that someone cared about him, too.

"Well… you know, ever since dad lost his job I've been helping them with the bills. Financially they rely on me a bit more heavily than what I could foresee, though," was all Kankuro said.

But the redhead wasn't so easily satisfied, "What do you mean by that?"

A calm, sunny smile came to Kankuro's face, an expression Gaara vividly remembered from the dark days of their adolescence.

"I have a job. I have nothing to worry about," the brunet dodged and his smile warmed up even more, "All I'm worried about is how mom is doing. You know how it is at home."

"How much are they straining your budget?" Gaara asked, not fooled by the shield of optimism. He had seen it far too many times to mistake it for a genuine state of mind.

Kankuro's smile slowly cooled away. The phone buzzed again at steady intervals as if someone was sending an army of bees at his way.

"I might start looking for a more affordable apartment. They have way more debt than they told me at first," Kankuro admitted and took a sip of his long-forgotten wine. The taste brought him no relief whatsoever.

"It doesn't sound right," Gaara argued, "Why are you suddenly responsible for their situation? Isn't Temari helping, too?"

"She is, to the extent she can. But the truth is, if we don't help them out, they will lose their place. And where do you think they'll go after that?" Kankuro asked and gave Gaara a grave look. The redhead gulped as realization gripped his guts with its harsh fists.

"So… what do you think will happen once their debt is gone?" Gaara asked quietly. Kankuro chuckled and threw his head back, an act resembling more of wild despair than actual amusement.

"The chances are that their financial situation will remain stable after that. The other option is that dad will continue to spend money on booze and slowly drive them back to the brink of bankruptcy. Mom will be too out of it to stop him, of course. What will happen then…? I don't even want to go there."

Another bold buzz told them that someone had obviously a lot to say to him tonight. By the number of messages, he could already guess what they were about. The stages his intoxicated father went through were the following: pleas of help holding apparent disappointment over his children, especially Kankuro. This would be followed by accusation filled with bitterness, as his father would compare his own rotten life to that of his ungrateful children. After that came a series of threats meant to make him feel guilty and submissive. If it wouldn't work, Rasa would send a message full of apologeticness and love, reminding him about their familial bond and the good times they had sometimes had.

Kankuro took his phone and went through the most recent texts.

' _You are just another disappointment in my life.'_

' _You are not a real man. I swear if you ever show your face around here, I will shoot you.'_

Kankuro's mood began to sink, and somewhere in the back of his mind he heard his father's voice full of accusation, screaming unfair obscenities at him when his teenage-self had asked for a permission to stay overnight at a friend's place—a friend from the theatre. He tried to be a good son. Why did it always end up like this?

"Show me," Gaara demanded and took the phone. Kankuro was about to protest but only settled for a tired sigh. Jade eyes widened as if Gaara couldn't believe the colorful use of language. When another message arrived, he left it unread.

"I'm turning this thing off," Gaara told with a good amount of anger in his voice.

"You can't do that!" Kankuro objected, "What if mom needs help?"

"She has my number. And has she ever called any of us even when she should've?" Gaara asked, and the brunet found it hard to argue with such a valid point.

"I'm worried about her. Do you think we should go and check them up?"

"Are you out of your mind?" Gaara asked as if he had just heard a bad joke.

"But what if he hurts mom?" the brunet argued back, "What if I could prevent it by going there?"

"Kankuro," the redhead said softly and squeezed the brunet's hand, "Even if we went there, is there any guarantee it would help? Don't you remember what it was like?"

"But mom—"

"I'm sorry. I know how you feel," Gaara told, "I fear for her too. And it's not right that you let dad abuse you like this. If you let this continue you will only get hurt and in the end, you won't be able to help mom. You are already offering them financial aid. It takes some of the stress away from their shoulders. But what dad chooses to do with his leisure time is not your fault, and you have to accept that you can't fix everything in our family."

Kankuro bit his finger nails and stared into nothing in particular. The turned-off phone on the table made him nauseous, for even if his father's messages were like punches in the face, at least then he knew he was texting and not hurting mother.

"We need something else to think about," Gaara told and took his hand, pulling him up from the couch, "Let's go out, to the movies or to a restaurant, where ever you want to go. It's my treat."

Kankuro hesitated but didn't object the idea.

* * *

It was not the movie or dinner that lightened up the burden on his shoulders. What eventually did the trick was feeling Gaara by his side, watching him try out foods he was not familiar with only to decide he liked them in the end. To see his little brother so lively and sharp relieved Kankuro on a level he had not thought possible.

Gaara was safe and out of their father's reach. Whatever was happening at home, Gaara was here with him, eagerly giving a review about his dessert.

"They could've gone a bit easier with the amount of sugar, but other than that, I can safely recommend this," the redhead mumbled between mouthfuls, "Here, have some."

And Kankuro opened his mouth and accepted the spoonful of chocolate pie.

Up until now, persistent sadness had embraced Gaara so tightly it had become his default demeanor. To see him this easygoing and vibrant made Kankuro realize how closed-off and depressed his little brother had been. Why hadn't he noticed it earlier? He could've helped him. Then again, for the past years he hadn't been interested in anything else but escaping his own guilt and unease in ways which eventually led to the end of his marriage. After that, he had found himself busy escaping the safe closeness Naruto had given him, as if he had been unable to trust someone could love him like that.

He had completely abused his position and hurt the person who saw so much good in him—according to Gaara, Naruto still spoke highly of him. He had ruined the whole thing in the most cowardly way possible. With blue eyes full of optimism Naruto had swallowed all his lies until they were too obvious to ignore. He had really loved Naruto, hadn't he? Only though… if the blond had been a woman, maybe his heart would've been more open to their strange relationship. Kankuro shook his head and denied the hypothesis. The thrill he had felt for Naruto had everything to do with his masculine physique. Tenten had been just a convenient tool to distract the prying eyes.

"Let's walk back home," Gaara said.

"But isn't your apartment on another district?" Kankuro asked while putting on his woolen coat.

"I thought I could stay the night with you. You have a guest room, right?"

The older of the brothers fastened his scarf around his neck in silence. He wondered if this had anything to do with preventing him from turning on his phone and reacting to the unread messages.

While it didn't snow anymore, the merciless wind swept through the streets and hungrily bit their faces. Kankuro pushed his hands deeper into his pockets, regretting his forgetfulness as he had left his gloves at home. Gaara took off one of his gloves and offered it for him.

"You keep it," Kankuro refused the kindness like so many times before. He was supposed to look after his little brother, not the other way around.

But Gaara put the rejected glove into his pocket and took hold of Kankuro's bare hand. His skin was so cold, like ice. When the brunet tensed, Gaara held him tighter.

"What if someone notices?" Kankuro whispered as if he was voicing out a carefully protected secret.

"No one will notice, or care," Gaara knew, "Besides, we are brothers."

"Yeah but no one knows that. What if—"

"Dad will never find out, Kankuro. And not everyone is like him."

A few street lamps were off, offering them a dark, brief shelter from the scarce amount of other pedestrians. Once it was too dim for anyone to really see their linked fingers, Kankuro let out a relieved sigh. This was where he belonged, in the shadows. Here he was invisible, from his father and from the world.

-o-o-o-

"Hey, not fair, Gaara! It's my phone!" the brunet argued, angry that the redhead went as far as to confiscate his property like that. How in hell did his little brother know he was going to check his messages once he could get a moment of solitude?

"Nice try, Kankuro," Gaara replied and pushed the phone into his pocket just when the brunet was about to steal it back, "You will get this in the morning. It's for your own good."

For an answer the brunet only pouted. Gaara smiled ever so faintly.

"Do you still remember when we spent the nights in the tent, in our backyard?" Gaara asked, seeing the blanket of stars with his mind's eye, as well as their parent's house oddly silent in the background. There had been no threat in the air back then.

"Yeah, I remember," Kankuro smiled and added mischievously, "You got so scared of those ghost stories! Every sound outside the tent made you yelp and dive into the sleeping bag."

"It was only because you kept on adding made-up twists to the stories," Gaara accused and now it was his turn to pout. Kankuro's grin grew more luminous and he ruffled the redhead's hair in a brotherly manner.

"I did no such thing. I merely performed the stories like an actor should," the brunet told and snickered. Back in the day, Gaara had jumped with every little 'boo' and gruff growl Kankuro had performed—he had really put his heart and soul into that storyteller's role, and now that he thought about it, his little brother was the only audience he had ever really cared for. Even now he could easily recall the unimpressed redhead sitting in the front row at the theatre, watching plays he had seen times and again but never complaining about the repeated experience. And whenever possible, Kankuro had spared him a glance from the stage, immensely grateful that his little brother was there, safe and sound.

But now there were no books filled with ghost stories, for the horror tales of today awaited them in the turned-off phone resting in Gaara's pocket.

"You could sleep in the guest room, too," the redhead said quietly.

"Don't tell me you're afraid of the headless janitor haunting the apartments," Kankuro reminded with a chuckle, a chuckle that was met with an eye roll on Gaara's part.

"Don't be stupid," the redhead replied but couldn't help a snicker at the memory of that particular, childish ghost story. With perfect accuracy he could still recall Kankuro's ghostly shrieks and the horrifying shadows on his face, cast by flashlight, while he had poured his deepest soul into the role of that lonely, murderous janitor.

At night, the guest room felt like another world. Moon sailed by the window on this side of the building. Its bluish beams touched the bare walls, coloring the room with tender hues. Like on so many nights before, years and years back, that silent, luminous sphere watched over them like a worried eye in the sky.

It was so quiet. Was Kankuro already asleep? Judging by the sound of his breathing, he was not.

"Is Naruto your boyfriend now?"

Kankuro's voice was not completely kind. Gaara felt his stare in the back of his head. He turned to face him.

"I don't know."

It was true. They had not yet sat down and discussed the terms of their relationship. Even so, he couldn't imagine being with anybody else. Hopefully Naruto felt the same.

"Do you want to be his boyfriend?" Kankuro asked, more gently this time.

"I think I do," Gaara replied.

A soft smile, which was not void of sadness, crossed Kankuro's face. He ruffled Gaara's hair again and then pulled him into a brotherly hug. It was just like in old times. Only the many layers of experiences, disappointments and worries that had piled up on their shoulders separated this night from their youth.

"Treat him well," Kankuro gave an advice, "Don't do what I did."

Gaara let out a deep sigh and shyly snuggled closer to his brother's warmth. "He was broken for a long time. Even today an occasional blue overcomes him but he never wants to discuss about it. I've tried. I don't approve of what you did, even if I have only heard Naruto's side of the story, given how you refused to open up about it."

"I'm sorry," the brunet whispered. He stroked his little brother's arm in a slow, sorrowful way, "I'm going to call him next week and apologize. We need to talk."

The redhead lifted up his head and evaluated the calm look on his brother's face. He looked trustworthy. "Good. You do that."

"I promise I will," Kankuro smiled and yawned. Gaara snuggled closer to him again and soon the brunet's hand sleepily petted his hair, escorting him to restful dreams.

* * *

Slowly the dream let go and the voice of someone talking got impossible to ignore.

"Seriously, you are even worse than Naruto."

Kankuro opened his eyes. Gaara stood there, fully clothed and a scowl on his face. The scent of coffee and something delicious floated in the air, telling him that the sour-looking redhead had made some effort in the kitchen.

"Do you have any idea how many times I've been calling you to wake up?" Gaara asked sourly.

Before the sleepy brunet had a chance to reply, the redhead's expression softened.

"You slept so tightly that for a moment there I thought you were dead," Gaara said and even though his expression was deadpan, his voice held shades of desperation and sorrow. Before Kankuro had any chance to address that emotion, Gaara began to lead the way to the kitchen.

"You're lucky if the coffee isn't tar by now, it's been standing in the pot for so long already. And don't blame me if the muffins have cooled down."

"M-Muffins?" Kankuro repeated and his steps gained liveliness he had lacked for years.

"Well there's that bakery down the street, and I thought you might still be into blueberry muffins, like you used to," Gaara started sheepishly but when he saw the surprise in his brother's face he quickly added, "You had nothing edible in the fridge, Kankuro. I had to go out to get breakfast, and then I happened to see the muffins on my way."

"Since when have you eaten breakfast?" Kankuro asked and sat down at the table.

Gaara re-filled his mug and took another bagel. He was not sure when his eating habits had adopted a more normal rhythm. Lately he had felt more balanced and hopeful, and the long-forgotten feeling of hunger had returned into the pit of his stomach. He had a hunch that it had everything to do with that certain blond beam shining in his apartment like a tireless lighthouse.

"The coffee tastes great," Kankuro thanked and went for the second muffin.

Outside, the sun was shining. Kankuro blinked and the light felt oddly bright and warm, as if he saw it for the first time in a very, very long time. In this little moment he felt warm and loved, and the combination felt so alien to him he decided to bathe in it as long as he could.

His phone lay on the table, screen black and ominous. Under Gaara's surveillance, he turned it on and entered his pin code. Before he could go to the anxiety-rousing messages, Gaara stepped in.

"I will go through them and if there's something you need to know, I'll tell you. After that, I will delete them."

"But—"

"No buts," Gaara ordered and silently Kankuro got back to his breakfast. As he had anticipated, Gaara didn't brief him about the contents of their father's thoughts.

"Here," Gaara gave him back his phone, "And oh, there was a message from your boss. I left in unread, of course."

With almost comical enthusiasm, Kankuro grabbed the phone. A stupid, goofy smile was already on his lips but he was too busy to see what the message was about to mask his emotions.

The message read: _'My sources tell me you are planning on switching jobs. Really, Kankuro? Running away from your problems again, am I right? If you can't face the shit you brought upon yourself, don't think it'll get any easier by avoiding Tenten. I will call you later and you better have changed your mind up until then.'_

Kankuro's smile only widened.

* * *

"Don't even think of going in the shower. I called it first, so I'll go," Gaara warned in one particularly hectic morning, when it alarmingly looked like only one of them was granted the luxury of attending work shower fresh.

"Why can't we go at the same time?" Naruto asked innocently, throwing his T-shirt in the hamper. When he was about to strip his boxers in the same, carefree manner, Gaara gripped the waistband and prevented him.

"Isn't it obvious? Both of us would be late. And I am not going to arrive at work after nine just because _certain someone_ decided to stay in bed until the last minute, _again_ ," Gaara hissed angrily.

Small smile graced Naruto's lips as he watched the redhead strip off his clothes in full confidence, seemingly smug of having won their little argument. When the aggravated jade eyes met his charming blue, he only smiled back friendlily. Gaara was aware of the way Naruto was subtly eyeing him and before he would visibly react to it in any way, he slipped behind the shower curtain.

Just when the water was at the right temperature and Gaara's irritated mood started to calm down, Naruto slipped into the shower like a thief, with the most unarming smile on his face.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" Gaara asked but this time, his voice lacked the acidity.

"Let me wash my hair really quick. Look how greasy it is. Please, Gaara."

How could he say no to those pleading blue eyes? Naruto looked sincere enough and Gaara gave him the showerhead.

The closeness of the blond was distracting on its own, and in the mornings especially Gaara found himself affected by his charm. That was why he wanted to avoid these kinds of situations at all costs. From previous experience he knew how annoying it could be to have a resilient hard-on bugging him throughout the workday. Not only was it tricky to hide, it also made peeing downright impossible.

"Oops, sorry," Naruto laughed heartily as the proof of his affection—otherwise known as his morning wood—brushed against Gaara's hip. It was an accident. Probably.

"This is why…" Gaara began grumpily but instead of finishing his thought he only let out a deep sigh. The stupid, apologetic smile on Naruto's face started to annoy him.

"I can wash your back if you want," the blond offered and once again his voice sounded sincere enough. Gaara decided to let him but the moment Naruto touched his skin, Gaara realized his mistake. The warmth of his touch was simply addicting, something he couldn't ignore. The way Naruto caressed the width of his shoulders, the curve of his back, felt way too detailed to be brushed off as something accidental.

The devious, flirty contact awakened something underneath Gaara's skin, only to cause his irritation return tenfold. Just to distract himself from the primitive need that was shamelessly speeding through his veins, he began to pick on Naruto.

"Thanks to you, we're going to be late," he sighed pointedly but again, he couldn't bring the annoyance to his voice as he had hoped.

"I'm so sorry to hold you up like this," Naruto apologized and his comforting touch traced down Gaara's arms. He stopped at his wrists. Gaara inhaled sharply and closed his eyes, and the damned blond read him just right and captured his hands behind his back. It was only a gentle, loose hold, but then his teeth were touching Gaara's earlobe, and in that moment, he was pushed over the line of no return.

It was clear they would not get to work in time, but the moment Naruto's demanding touch caressed every inch of his soapy skin—except that one area under his navel that desperately begged for attention—Gaara found himself oddly uncaring of his accustomed schedules. Naruto's erection felt like a log of wood against his ass, promising him a ride he had been dying to have. Just the proof of Naruto's fiery affection was enough to make him lose his ability to speak coherently.

"Na-Naru…" he started weakly, gulping once or twice until the words returned to him, "Touch me."

"Are you sure?" the blond whispered, his voice soft as velvet when his breath walked along Gaara's wet skin, "I thought we were in a hurry."

Oh, he would unmistakably make the annoying blond regret his stupid seductiveness. No matter how much Naruto had shaken up his world, there were certain things not even he could get away with—and one of them was messing up his mourning routines audaciously like this.

With an air of irritation Gaara turned around to face the blond, breaking their bodily connection. He leaned against the tiles, eyes half-closed with theatrical desire, while he shamelessly began to stroke himself as if it was the most pleasurable thing in the world.

"Haah, N-Naru…"

Naruto was red as a beet. Words literally stuck into his throat and he sputtered incoherent syllables while staring at the quietly moaning redhead, at the explosive desire written all over his face. Naruto couldn't tear his gaze away from the lips that were pursed in pleasure, from the black eyelids that were almost closed, from the skin on his chest that was turning pink.

With his glassy, wide open eyes and a mouth that was hanging open, Naruto looked like a complete dork.

Gaara wanted to laugh but he was too aroused and agitated to execute such a basic human reaction. When only a light, high-pitched sigh escaped his lips in response, Naruto cupped his cheeks and kissed him hungrily. Gaara moaned against his lips, encouraging him to continue, and then Naruto's touch was all over his skin again.

Naruto was such a dork, Gaara couldn't help but think, he was such an easily manipulated goof, wasn't he? And when the blond dropped down to his knees and took him into his mouth, Gaara had to admit that those smartass lips surely sucked him in a way he couldn't withstand much longer.

Fuck, the way Naruto handling him, he was going to burst like a bottle of champagne.

"I— I… I'm—" Gaara stuttered all but intelligently and after that, everything went white for a while.

Maybe it was just his wobbly knees giving in rather than the honest, alluring attraction displayed on Naruto's face, that made Gaara kneel in front of his boyfriend, gripping that log of wood and licking off the precum from the tip.

Naruto was hard like an iron bar and his high-pitched moans echoed unashamedly in the tiled bathroom. With his half-pleading, half-encouraging mumbles of syllables he sounded like a sexy moron Gaara was more than happy to suck off. Quicker than he had expected, the blond mess reached his peak and his wild moans momentarily deafened them both. There was no question whether or not the sounds of their little activities were carried to the neighbor via air condition.

With secret smugness Gaara thought it only served them right.

When they eventually got out of the shower, Gaara felt relaxed like a hammock. Naruto kissed him on the shoulder and gently dried him with a towel. Gaara leaned into that touch and he couldn't remember what had made him so grumpy in the first place.

On the train his usual morning scowl was gone and it threatened to cool no one's take-away beverages. At work, Gaara felt oddly productive and managed to finish his assignments early. Ino and Hinata were giving him a suspicious look at the copy machine, a clear sign that something was obviously different in him today. He couldn't care less what they thought.

The only regret he had was that he and Naruto no longer worked at the same place.

At the thought of the blond, his heart flipped and his regret was replaced by happy anticipation. In three hours, he was able to see the target of his attraction once again.

* * *

Unlike Kankuro had imagined in the very beginning, the young Inuzuka's house was not flooded with profuse luxury. Large windows letting in all the light in the world were very much the only thing that could be described as pompous. Other than that, nothing in the decoration suggested supreme wealth. Kiba Inuzuka was a practical man who had no interest for unnecessary flashiness.

"Have you already apologized to Tenten and Naruto?" Kiba asked, holding a glass of wine while he gazed at the snow-covered landscape.

Kankuro lay on the sofa, hands behind his head, taking in the view of his boss.

"Yes," he replied with a convincing smile. Kiba's evaluative stare lingered on him and it felt like there were no mask, barrier or role those eyes couldn't see through. Kankuro shifted his position a little when it started to feel uncomfortable.

"No," he meekly admitted.

"Care to explain why that is so?" Kiba wondered and took a sip of his wine.

"W-Well… I thought they might not want to see me. You know, I thought I should respect their feelings and stay away," Kankuro told and suddenly no position on the couch felt comfortable.

Kiba barked a laugh like he had heard a joke. Kankuro scowled a little, displeased that his explanation was received that way.

"By avoiding them, you are avoiding your own feelings, too. And as long as you stay away, you don't have to explain to them—or to yourself—what happened and why it happened," Kiba said calmly.

"I think you're wrong," Kankuro replied and closed his eyes. In the background, Kiba laughed again.

"Then tell me why it's so hard for you to apologize to them," Kiba asked casually. His voice was light and carefree like a wind traveling through summery meadows. Kankuro stayed in that mental image for as long as he could, feeling the sun on his skin, the breeze in his hair, his boss' hand on his…

"I just want to give them time to calm down," Kankuro replied a bit dreamily, and opened his eyes again.

Kiba offered him a serious look, "You are avoiding them because in order to face them, you would have to explain to yourself why you behaved that way. And you have no idea why you behave like that. That is the problem. You can't explain yourself, and that's why you keep on running away from your emotions."

"Fine. I will call them tomorrow and get it done with. Now… come here," Kankuro said temptingly and shifted his position so that it looked a tiny bit seductive.

"I am not kissing a mouth that lies," Kiba only said and made no move towards the couch.

"You don't have to kiss me on the lips," Kankuro said softly and the look in Kiba's eyes became slightly hazier.

"Look, there's no questioning whether or not I wanna do you, Kankuro. The thing is, if you don't work through your shit this relationship will never be anything but a carnal fling. And it's a shame because I really like you Kankuro, even when you're being such an asshole. I am not planning on living my life from a fling to another. I want something more lasting."

Kankuro fell silent. He knew Kiba was right. He was avoiding and running, hiding and distracting. It was not a perfect method but it felt better than addressing the undefined tangle of emotions pulsing in the back of his mind.

"And what the heck were you doing with that woman at that party last week?" Kiba asked, shaking his head.

It had been a small gathering of colleagues and friends, and one of the women had made a rather bold move on Kankuro. He had let it happen, not bothering to reject her advances. Somebody noticed him. Somebody liked him enough to thrust their tongue into his throat. He was being a good man, a good guy, someone admirable, right? He wanted the caress, he wanted it so much.

But he would get the punch too if he spoke up his mind, wouldn't he, and that was why he never told her he wasn't exactly interested. He remembered Kiba's worried stare boring into his head and maybe his boss had called him an unbelievable idiot, too. Unlike he had assumed, Kiba showed no jealously about it afterwards, only bottomless worry and concern.

"Oh that? I was not interested in her," Kankuro shrugged it off like none of it bothered him at all.

"If that's the case, you gotta learn to say no," Kiba knew and Kankuro pouted.

"I can say no, you know."

"Can you really?" Kiba wondered like what he had heard was some new, surprising information. It made Kankuro even grouchier.

"I don't have to listen to this," he said and got up from the couch. Kiba only gave him a level stare.

"You are free to go, free to stay. I gotta admit I'd prefer you stayed. But if you're that reluctant to face your issues, then maybe I can't help you. It's a shame, though. A good man goes to waste in you, Kankuro."

He stood by the couch, suddenly unsure if he should leave or give it a second chance, after all. Kiba sipped his wine again and spoke to the snowy landscape.

"You know, if you're not a complete bonehead like you sometimes present yourself as, you can have Tuesday off and go to an appointment at 10 o'clock sharp. After you've talked with the shrink, you can come here and we can cook something delicious."

Kankuro thought about the offer, "Are you telling me you've scheduled an appointment for me behind my back?"

Kiba laughed, "I told you I would put you into therapy if I deemed it necessary for your well-being. I care for my employees, you know."

Kankuro sighed, feeling uncomfortable with his emotions again. Just to distract himself, he lay down on the couch and eyed his boss meaningfully.

"Would you come here and show me how much you care for this particular employee?" Kankuro asked with a small smile gracing his lips.

Kiba abandoned his wine glass and walked to the sofa with a slight smirk on his face, "You are really something, aren't you?"

"I know you can't resist me," Kankuro laughed charmingly.

"I can resist you," Kiba corrected but the beginning of a blush on his face betrayed him.

Kankuro smirked, "Your eyes tell me otherwise." His gaze dropped down to Kiba's crotch, "And your pants don't lie."

Blush overtook Kiba's face completely and he tried to laugh it off. "Yeah? Well since this is your doing," he pointed down at the bulge in his pants, "Maybe you would like to take care of it then?"

"Oh, so you don't want to kiss a mouth that lies but it's perfectly okay to have those lips around your cock, huh?" Kankuro teased, "Don't tell me you're a hypocrite, Inuzuka."

"Don't twist my words," Kiba replied with a bark of laughter, "Since that mouth is so good at sucking dick, maybe it could learn to speak truth equally well, too."

"I am trying," Kankuro told. It was true this time.

Kiba sat down on the sofa and touched his face with a tender caress. Then he leaned in to kiss Kankuro on the lips.

* * *

It was a casual café on a casual evening. A soft murmur of conversation surrounded their table, and the large monsteras planted on heavy pots shielded them from the eyes of other customers.

Despite the pleasant atmosphere Kankuro was all but relaxed. Opposite to him sat his ex-wife, calm as ever.

In the middle of the table there was a black little gift box. Another expensive watch, huh?

Sakura's smile grew wider as he lifted his gaze up from the peace offering.

"Aren't you going to open it?" she inquired.

Kankuro hesitated. In two months their divorce would be final. Most likely this was just an innocent way of hers to tell him they should bury the hatchet. Keeping this in mind, Kankuro took the box in his sweaty hands and proceeded to open it. What was inside, however, was certainly not a watch.

"Sa-Sakura," he stammered and stared at the set of car keys. A little neatly-written tag connected to it told him the model. Without further information he understood that the price had to be a six-digit sum. It was an insane amount of money. To his horror he noticed his initials had already been engraved to the key fob: K.H. as in Kankuro Haruno.

"Why don't you come and see it for yourself, tonight?" she said softly over her cup of coffee.

"Why would you…?" he trailed off, utterly confused.

Her smile was sweet but not to be trusted, of course. Gracefully she stood up and claimed the seat next to him, and just as beautifully her arm now rested on his shoulder. She smelled expensive and sophisticated, while Kankuro sweated in his spot.

"During these past months I realized what a fool I was. I've missed you, Kankuro, and I want us to try again."

"Why?" he repeated his question, unable to fathom why anyone as wealthy and successful would choose him in the end.

"I want to give you the life you always wanted, and this time I believe I'm able to fulfill my promise," Sakura explained and caressed his cheek ever so affectionately. Kankuro was trapped between the monsteras and her.

"N-No, I don't think we should…" he trailed off.

"Don't make up your mind until you've heard what I have to offer," she chuckled like he was just a foolish young man, "I want us to move abroad. My family has some business in there, and I already have purchased a house where we will stay. You will receive a respected job at our company, too."

Kankuro flashed a quick smile, just to ease out his nervousness. His hands were trembling so he hid them under the table. It sounded like it was all settled already, and the last step of the plan was now this, kidnapping him to where ever she wanted to take him.

"I—I can't leave my parents. They need me, as you already know. I can't leave mom with someone like dad. Gaara and Temari can't look after them like I can, they don't have the financial resources for that," Kankuro said and wished this would be the end of this little meeting. But Sakura caressed his cheek and her delicate thumb ran over his lower lip.

"I have a solution for that," she told and for the first time that evening Kankuro let his gaze linger on her for longer than two seconds. Her expression turned more business-like, as if they were now negotiating a contract.

"It could happen so that your father would meet someone at the pub he patronizes, someone like a friend. Later that evening, in some private apartment, it could turn out as a brawl between drunken buddies, in which your father would unfortunately lose his life. There would be no link to any of us, and the police would deem it as another altercation between intoxicated bar-goers."

Cold shivers ran down Kankuro's spine. They were talking about a murder here, weren't they? Sakura touched his chin and made him meet her eyes again.

"Your mother's debt would be taken care of. She would have someone taking care of her daily business and health. You wouldn't have to worry about her anymore," Sakura told and her gaze dropped down to his lips.

"Why would you do any of this for me?" Kankuro asked, finding it hard to believe his problems could be solved effortlessly like that. Sakura's expression softened and once again she looked like a charming young lady instead of the ice-cold business woman he had learned to know.

Out of nowhere a waitress brought them two glasses of champagne and a tray of desserts one more delicious after another. Sakura thanked her with a smile best described as cute and harmless, and the waitress bowed at them with happy respect. Once again Kankuro was reminded of how they must've looked to everybody else. With her petite, short built Sakura met the standards of a perfect, cute girlfriend every guy would dream of, and with his masculine, strong looks Kankuro would be viewed as the caring, protective husband starring any average rom-com blockbuster.

No one was looking at them with disdain or shock. Their assumed relationship was instantly accepted by the society. They fitted within the image of normal, within the image of admirable.

"I realized how much I still love you, Kankuro," she spoke in his ear, her voice soft as silk, "I need you."

If anyone saw them, no one was offended by their public displays of affection. Even Rasa would give them his blessing. Kankuro gulped and didn't respond to her affections. She was just a cute, harmless woman confessing her love to him. And he was a strong, independent man completely in charge of the situation, wasn't he?

"I want to be inside of you," Sakura whispered so that only he could hear, "I want you to be an uncontrolled mess in the brink of release, begging for me to never stop. I want to hit that spot that makes you see the stars, Kankuro."

By now he was most embarrassingly blushing. Her manicured nails touched his silken tie.

"You like that, don't you? The feeling of someone doing you that way," she whispered again but this time her voice was not as sweet anymore. The grip on his tie tightened, "They say your recent girlfriends aren't girls at all, Kankuro."

"T-That's not true," he instantly denied before he could stop and think. Under the table, Sakura rubbed his thigh.

"I thought so, too," she said and took a sip of her champagne, "Come with me tonight."

"No," Kankuro said but despite that, he found himself following her to the mansion.

* * *

That night, he didn't object her. Maybe it was those walls around him that made him subconsciously follow the behavioral patterns that ominously defined their relationship. In the middle of this breathtaking luxury, he was just a nobody masked in an expensive suit.

He closed his eyes but she didn't seem to care. In his mind, it was not her entering him with a strap-on but someone with brown hair and sharp fangs.

Sakura stared at her husband's face which was now twisted into an expression of unashamed pleasure. Her heart hurt like it was stabbed with a dagger. He wasn't thinking of her, was he?

When she had slowly realized her husband was not into women exactly, a small fraction of her soul had died that day. He didn't want her but he never made a move to leave. Instead he stayed, abusing the safe luxury she offered, and without guilt he seemed to enjoy his generous paycheck that was paid by _her_ family company. It made her bitter and angry. In years to come her anger had morphed into something way uglier until seeing him trembling under her with his legs spread was the only thing that brought her satisfaction. If he wanted a man so badly, she could be that for him. Why wasn't she enough?

Whenever he tried to reject her, it only fueled her more until in the end he stopped all objects and passively let her do him whichever way she pleased.

She wanted him to reject her. She wanted to see that familiar shame and fright blossom in his face. He would learn his place. He would love her again, wouldn't he? Sakura had done so much for him, why couldn't he see it? Even now she was hurting herself in order to fulfill his fantasies. This was what he wanted, wasn't it? Why wasn't she enough? Anger boiled inside of her but by now he was too caught up in his pleasure, eyes closed and lips half-open, ready to come.

And when he did, she knew it was not her he thought of. It never was.

Cool anger unfurled inside her heart. This was not what she wanted from sex but she did it all for him. Why wasn't he grateful?

When he opened his eyes, the submissive shyness glinting in there instantly eased out her wrath. Her expression softened into a friendly little smile. He needed to feel safe, so that she could control him the way she wanted to. The shame on his face made her fall in love again, not with him but with this twisted game they were playing. She wanted to own his body and mind, his hurt, shame and fear. She wanted to control his fantasies, sexuality and freedom.

It was a reasonable price for betraying her, wasn't it?

* * *

In the morning, Kankuro was more than ashamed of what he had let happen to himself. Sakura had left the house as a little note attached on the mirror told.

He winced at the pain in his behind but proceeded to get dressed the best he could. He should not let this continue, for god's sake! Once already he had escaped this place, and damned he was if he now willingly returned here. Most certainly he did not view Sakura as his future wife or anything similar. The only thing was, he hadn't really expressed this to her last night.

He had meant to, he really had, but the perfect moment had never come and by then she had already mistaken his submission as affection. Briefly he wondered if his father was already on his way to meet the fateful buddy planted in the neighborhood pub. Or perhaps someone equally shady would be ordered to sneak into Kankuro's life the moment he least expected it, in case he began to back down from whatever future Sakura was planning for them.

With some bittersweetness he knew his father would approve of this marriage. This sickening relationship would come to solve his family's problems and guarantee his mother a life worth of living. Temari and Gaara would be able to breathe more easily after that, maybe even get their lives finally on a better track they both deserved. Saying "yes" to this would offer him financial stability and a social status many would kill for. In exchange, all he had to do was sacrifice himself.

By now he was well aware that he could never ever confess publicly how she violated him in the bedroom. Police would hardly believe him, or his inability to stop it from happening. His friends would not buy that a petite, well-mannered lady such as Mrs. Haruno, could ever be capable of doing the things he accused her of. They would say he wanted it, wouldn't they? That he asked for it and forced her to participate in his sick fantasies. And his father, he would just beat him up the second he learned Kankuro had taken anything into his ass, voluntarily or not. Not even Kiba knew. His shame and hurt was something he intended to keep solely to himself.

"Shit," Kankuro cursed as he couldn't find his wallet anywhere. He was sure he hadn't misplaced it from his pocket last night. As funny as it sounded, his phone seemed to be missing, too. With an eerie feeling, Kankuro made his way down to the hall, relieved to see his coat was at least still there—but unlucky for him, his shoes were nowhere to be found.

He was feverishly trying to figure out how to call a cab or take a hike without phone or shoes, when the front door opened and a widely beaming Sakura walked in, carrying a bag of freshly baked pastries.

"Why are you wearing your coat?" she asked.

"Oh this?" Kankuro laughed uneasily. "I was just…" he trailed off as he realized what he was once again doing. "I can't do this, Sakura," he finally told the truth, "I am not in love with you anymore. I'm sorry."

"Why is that a problem?" she asked and brushed past him towards the kitchen. He followed, feeling stupid in his socks and winter coat.

"O-of course it's a problem," Kankuro replied, feeling strange at defending his point of view, "I… I believe I actually do prefer men over women, and that is why it will never, ever work between us again."

With almost eerie calmness Sakura placed the pastries on a tray and turned on the coffee maker. In their neat little kitchen, everything looked perfect on the outside.

"That is not a valid reason to leave this marriage," she told and the expression on her face was soft as stone, "Many men of your kind have a wife."

The flicker of defeat and submission on his face pleased her, and a small smirk appeared on her lips. Oh, her Kankuro was not going to wriggle out of this deal. She needed him, his humor, laughter, smile and looks. Kankuro took a step back, no doubt wondering where his shoes were hidden, confused like a mouse in a maze. Wasn't that just adorable?

"Take off your coat and sit down," she told and took out two mugs from the cabinet. To her displeasure he did not comply.

"No. I'm afraid I'll be leaving. This is not what I want, or what is good for either of us."

"Don't be silly. You just think you feel that way," Sakura shrugged it off. When he only looked at her gravely, she abandoned her coffee altogether.

"Your mom loves you. Don't you love her, too? Or do you want her life to get even worse? It will, if you don't stop it from happening. You have the power, Kankuro. Don't tell me you are that selfish?"

There it was, that familiar pain and shame she was so used to digging up from the depths of his heart. Her smile got warmer from all the nostalgia. He had already hung his head in defeat. Only one tiny push and he would cross the line and stay here forever.

"I made some arrangements this morning and the removal company will arrive at your apartment later in the afternoon to drop off the boxes. You can start packing right away," Sakura told and Kankuro looked at her, surprised.

"Don't worry. Everything will work out. Your parents' problems will be solved. Your mom will have a dignified life she deserves and your brother and sister will be freed from the emotional burden that's been weighing them down. You will be free from the abuse of your father."

If only that beautiful future she painted was to be trusted. Kankuro shook his head in denial. He wanted to go. He wanted to go away so much.

"Your mom will love you again. Is it still Gaara she calls every time, never you? Oh, don't worry. She will see what a great son you are. She will love you so much," Sakura said with an unarming smile. He wanted to believe her, he really did.

"With your father gone, she will be finally able to tell you it's okay to be gay. Isn't that what you've wanted to hear all your life?" she said sweetly and Kankuro felt ill, "You have the power to make that happen. You want to be a good son, don't you?"

"I do," Kankuro admitted and choked on something that had risen to his throat. So this was how his life was going to go, was it? Maybe his mother would start loving him like she had loved Gaara all along? Maybe his mother would finally drop the veil of silence and tell him it was alright to be like this, to feel what he did when he was with Kiba.

Kiba.

" _You gotta learn to say no."_

His boss' factual words echoed in his thoughts. Kankuro felt ashamed. What would Kiba say if he saw him now? If he knew of the things that he let happen to himself? Kiba had never promised to help his parents but he had always treated him as an equal. Relentlessly Kiba held him responsible for his actions and tried to guide him towards healthier direction, no matter how difficult Kankuro made it for him.

"I do want to be a good son," Kankuro said, "But I don't see the two of us together like this. I'm sorry but that's how it is."

She laughed as if he had told a joke. For a moment there Kankuro wished she would've choked on the bun she was chewing but of course his prayers were not answered, not now or ever.

"Once we get abroad you will change your mind," she promised like their future was already sealed.

"No," Kankuro denied the idea more firmly now, and she fell eerily silent, "I won't be moving there with you. This is not what I want. Please give me my belongings and I'll see myself out."

She smacked her mug on the table so angrily he flinched. Coffee spilled on the tablecloth and ruined the pristine linen with angry, hot stains.

When she walked towards him, Kankuro instinctively stepped aside as if anticipating a punishment. But she never touched him, only made her way to a nearby room. Before Kankuro could make up his mind whether or not to follow her, Sakura came back, holding his missing possessions.

He never had time to dodge that shoe flying his way, and when it hit him in the face he retreated in fear. His phone met the wall right when he understood to duck, but the broken screen was the least of his worries at the moment.

"You have the guts to come here and take advantage of my kindness, only to betray me like this in the morning. You're pitiful like always, Kankuro. And how foolish I was to ever think you were worth my efforts. Go back to your family, they won't love you any better," Sakura cursed, holding his other shoe still in her hand. With an angry throw she tried to hit him but he managed to move aside. But he was not able to foresee a wallet speeding right at the back of his head, and when it hit him he yelped.

His first thoughts were to flee the scene and avoid her for the rest of their lives. This was all somehow his fault, wasn't it, for he had once again managed to be a disappointing husband and an inadequate son, hadn't he? But in his mind he heard Kiba's bark of laughter and suddenly he felt oddly more confident.

"I am not the only one to blame here," Kankuro said and dusted his clothes. His behind hurt but greater than that was the shame. "I won't let you treat me like this anymore. I'm sorry for all the resentment I've caused you but clearly this—" he said, gesturing at the two of them, "—is just one big mistake I don't want to make twice. I'm sorry it had to end like this, and I wish I had been a better husband for you. I wish you all the best in the world. Goodbye, Sakura."

Only an eerie silence on her part escorted him to the door. When he walked through the winter garden for the last time, relief and sadness followed him with each step.

Sakura had been just another Rasa in his life, hadn't she? And when he thought about it, hadn't he treated Naruto with similar kind of abuse?

Wind blew through his clothes and he rightfully shivered in the freeze. An apology he had never delivered haunted him. Hopefully it wouldn't be too late to receive Naruto's forgiveness.

* * *

"They're at it again," Naruto pointed out the obvious as the ferocious yells of the neighbors disturbed their peaceful evening.

Gaara stopped in the middle of the room to listen to the racket. Ever since he had moved in here, his neighbors' verbal fights had gotten louder and louder. One of them was screaming on top of their lungs. A seizure would be only a matter of time, Gaara thought, and instinctively glanced at his watch.

"You know what's even more distracting than that?" Naruto asked and changed the channel, "The sounds of lovemaking. One of my friends used to have a couple like that next door. Trust me, you wouldn't trade this for that."

"I wonder," Gaara replied tiredly and put down the book he was holding. There was nothing interesting on TV. He was not hungry but his mouth wanted something to eat. It was slightly cold in the apartment but not enough so that he would go through the trouble of finding his woolen socks. The slight discomfort he felt bugged him, but it was not disturbing enough to be done something about.

"Can I help you with those books?" Naruto spoke in his ear when Gaara forgot himself standing mutely in the spot. The damned blond was so close to him, once again inviting himself on his skin like that. He liked it. He liked it a lot and the friendly blue in Naruto's eyes got him to momentarily forget about his unease.

"I've got everything under control here," Gaara told and tried to remember what plans he had had for the books again. The closeness of Naruto worked like amnesia for him. All there was left in his memory was the frenzy that took over his system whenever the blond was near him like this.

"Sometimes it's better to lose some of that control," Naruto whispered and kept a polite—however minimal—distance to the distracted redhead, "Maybe we should let your neighbors taste their own medicine. Show them how thin those walls are."

Gaara lowered his gaze and he really couldn't remember anymore what he had been doing a minute ago. He wanted to get angry at Naruto for affecting him like this, but his usual inner reserves of grumpiness were suddenly void.

"I am not going to pretend a fight with you just to prove a point to them," Gaara sighed. He placed his palm on Naruto's chest, pretending to inspect the material of his shirt. It was so thin. Warmth radiated through it easily like it was a naked touch, just like in that one particular morning in the shower. Heat flared up to his cheeks and he wasn't able to let go of his boyfriend's shirt.

"Well… there's always something else we could do to get back at them, if you know what I mean," Naruto chuckled innocently like it was only a joke and not an invitation into something that would surely open up their vocal chords.

Those charming blue eyes looked friendlier than ever, but it was the minimalistic way they slightly narrowed that got all kind of secret scenarios blossom in Gaara's mind: Naruto's sultry sighs growing louder, his hands on Gaara's hips, guiding him gently as Gaara lowered himself down on that iron-hard cock that he had dreamed of on some many occasions. Or Naruto's lips when they were swollen and red from all the kissing, the almost innocent quiver that made them tremble when Gaara kept on squeezing his erection through the material of his orange chinos.

Naruto stared at the blank, dreamy look in Gaara's face. It looked like the lights were on but no one was home. For a reason yet untold, the redhead sometimes got like that—he would suddenly just disappear into a world of his own, staring back at him like he was bewitched by something. It was an interesting combination of cute and odd.

Gaara was still fiddling Naruto's shirt, his lips slightly parted, a hazy look clouding his eyes. Naruto gulped and blood coursed down to his pants, making it obvious how he found the dreamy redhead. Slowly he leaned into a kiss and Gaara let him. It started out as light and polite, yet soon it got undercurrents of sensual desire that made Naruto's skin prickle. His pants were so tight by now he feared his zipper would break.

He wanted Gaara sitting on his lap, rubbing his crotch against his to relieve the unpleasant pressure just enough to make them both go crazy. He wanted Gaara clad in his pajama top only, lifting up the hem seductively while biting his lower lip with feigned innocence. He wanted Gaara to ride his lubed fingers until the desire would be too much to handle, and he would grip Naruto's hard cock in desperate demand.

"Yes," Naruto said dumbly, not sure if there had been a question or if he was simply responding to his own fantasies. Gaara looked equally hazy and nodded in response—to what, maybe neither of them knew.

 _Ding dong._

The sound of doorbell broke their fantasies apart and slowly they began to descend back to reality. Gaara let go of Naruto's shirt, and the blond took a step back, the tightness in his pants easing out a bit.

"Are you expecting someone?" Gaara asked, and his voice still carried traces of dreamy desire.

"I don't think so," Naruto replied and tried to recall what they had been doing with the books only moments before. The only thing he was able to recall was the imaginary Gaara's bare legs sprawled on the bed, while his loose pajama top tried its best to cover up his naked upper body.

 _Thanks, brain. How helpful!_

Gaara smiled at the blond. Naruto had that dumb look on his face again, the one he sometimes forgot on for quite long periods of time. Naruto was strange like that, and Gaara was secretly thankful that at least his own face was unreadable at all times.

 _Ding dong._

Gaara went to the door, slightly cautious who there might be. Whom he saw in there took him by complete surprise.

"Temari? What are you doing in here?"

"I'm happy to see you too, little bro," a woman with sandy-brown hair greeted wryly. Even despite winter freeze, her leather jacket hung unzipped and her ripped boyfriend jeans told clearly that she hadn't bothered with a layer of warm underwear. Gaara sighed at her older sister's choices. Youngsters and their questionable "trends"! Unlike Gaara, Temari was not born mentally middle-aged.

Temari glanced at his formal slacks and wrinkle-free dress shirt. With his sour expression, he looked downright cute. With a goofy chuckle she decided to tease him about it later. When her teal eyes landed on an orange-clad young man standing cautiously in the background, she stopped in her tracks.

"Oh, I didn't know you had company," Temari apologized, "I can come some other time."

"No need. This is Naruto," Gaara started, unsure how to continue. His mouth opened and then closed a few times, his gaze was searching the floor as if words could be found there. The orange stranger was smiling more relaxedly now, hands in his pockets, and when Temari saw how Gaara looked at him, she suddenly understood.

"Oh," she said and couldn't help a hearty grin from spreading to her face, "I see."

Gaara looked shocked, as if he had no clue how easy to read he sometimes was. Temari chuckled and pulled him into a hug.

"When mom told me that you had no girlfriend or family plans, I got a bit worried but now I think I understand. I'm so happy for you, lil' bro. Does Kankuro know yet?"

Gaara was still shocked at how fast his sister was reading the room. Before he could worry about the blond's possible reaction, Naruto was already there by his side, all smiles and so convincing that no trace of sorrow had room in his features.

"He kinda figured it out, too," Naruto explained and put his arm tenderly around Gaara's shoulder.

Temari evaluated the bright young man that was standing proudly by her little brother's side. It was such a sweet sight. She couldn't recall seeing Gaara this happy, well, ever before. A grin even wider took over her face when she realized that the orange-ness that had happened to Gaara's apartment was no doubt this man's doing.

"You could've told me you had a hot boyfriend, you know," Temari teased and playfully punched Gaara in the arm, sending a friendly wink at Naruto's direction.

A miniature shock took over Gaara as he realized they had still not thoroughly discussed the terms of their relationship. Naruto was his boyfriend only in his thoughts so far. The blond noticed his confusion and smiled warmly in return.

"I am blessed to be with him," Naruto cut in again, as if social interactions were his natural specialty, "And I promise to treat him with the respect and love he deserves."

"Where have you been all his life?" Temari asked, and there was no mistaking the rapidly growing admiration in her eyes. Gaara felt proud. Why, he wasn't thoroughly sure, but there was something rewarding in seeing his older sister welcoming his first ever boyfriend with open heart. He had been scared of the opposite but when he now watched the two of them talking, his fears felt irrational.

Of course, Naruto invited her to have tea with them, as if his politeness knew no limits. Gaara and Temari sat at the kitchen table, watching the blond who was carefreely preparing them supper and mint tea.

"Where can I get one of those?" Temari whispered so loudly even Naruto could hear. The blond only chuckled amusedly, not taking part in the siblings' conversation.

"If you're ever so dumb to let someone like him go, I swear I'm gonna call dibs on him," Temari continued and Gaara only rolled his eyes in response. But the moment he saw the wide, goofy grin on his sister's face, he couldn't help but crack a smile, too.

During supper Naruto entertained her with a story of how they had met, and Gaara was sure some turns of events were _slightly_ overexaggerated. Certainly, when they had met for the first time, he had not been noticing Naruto like he was some godsend gift among the mortals of their shabby office. What a ridiculous little lie. He had certainly _not_ been infatuated with him at the very beginning, unlike the blond let her understand. Temari was swooning at the _false_ mental image, and Gaara sighed by himself, not bothering to correct the chatty little storyteller. Sure, he had been decent enough to offer Naruto a place to sleep in, but other than that, he had not shown him any extraordinary friendliness.

He noticed how Naruto avoided mentioning his prior status, his homelessness. He never really denied it either, but hid it behind terms such as "not living with Gaara yet" or "finding it more exciting to travel than settle down".

Sure, by now Gaara knew the nightly train rides Naruto had been forced to take in order to find shelter not only from wintry freeze, but from the motives of shady acquaintances. Finding "traveling exciting" was indeed a creative way to put it.

As expected Kankuro was not mentioned in Naruto's narration. When forced, the blond spoke highly of him and gave away no clues what kind of history lay between them. Temari was drinking all the information thirstily like she had found a hidden world of his little brother she had never even dared to hope existed. She was beaming maybe even more brightly that the blond itself.

Naruto sipped his tea and forced all anxiety out of his mind. This was going well. First impressions were most important, and this was Gaara's bad ass sister they were talking about. He knew the redhead thought highly of her, and distinctly Naruto had a feeling that if she found something to be criticized in him, it could affect on Gaara's view of him, too. He didn't want that. If anything, this was something he could not screw up.

He could _not_ screw this up.

And he was more than well aware of the way older sisters looked at him when they learned about his vagabond status. No matter how good he was, how good he had been, that information was always the thing to rouse suspicions. What was a homeless guy after if not for money or something to steal—someone to take advantage of, right? In his thoughts, Naruto huffed in annoyance. It was a stigma that lasted long, a mark that kept on strengthening itself like a fatal virus.

"I'm afraid I have to get going now. Shikamaru is waiting for me, you see," Temari said and stood up, "It was really nice to meet you, Naruto. Let's have a dinner together sometime, the four of us, and get to know each other better. I swear, Gaara, that I never knew how funny and sociable you could be."

"I am not funny or sociable," Gaara corrected her dryly, "Naruto only made me sound that way."

"Don't beat yourself up like that. You're fun, in your own special way," she cooed and gave the redhead a warm hug.

When Naruto was draping his hand for her, anticipating she would much rather go for a handshake with him, she surprised everyone by pulling him into a tight embrace.

"You hurt him and you're dead, right sweetie?" she whispered and then quickly let go.

Naruto nodded and planted a soft kiss on Gaara's hair, proving his endless loyalty once again. The way Gaara got all flustered made Temari laugh, and like that Naruto was once again in her good graces.

* * *

Gaara and Naruto were lounging on the bed, holding their aching tummies. They had overeaten, and as a proof of their feast, there lay pizza boxes and empty candy wrappers on the floor. The place was starting to look like a pig stew, but this time Gaara didn't mention it, for he knew more than well that he was equally guilty of the situation.

Naruto was rubbing the redhead's belly and Gaara settled more comfortably on the mattress, sighing in contentment. They were sleepy and lazy and stupidly happy in the middle of their mess.

However, there was one thing that didn't let Gaara be.

"Naruto," he called, and the blond glanced at him, "What are we?"

"We are pigs," he replied and patted his belly affectionately, "And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Gaara suppressed a smile and tried to get serious once again. It was hard when the blond was studying his belly button, trying to push his finger in there like a curious child.

"That's not what I meant," the redhead responded, "Are we a couple, or just friends?"

Naruto stopped goofing around and met his stare. The tenderness in his blue eyes was breathtaking and before Gaara could (and would) get lost in them, he blinked and cleared his throat.

"Well, I see you as my boyfriend," the blond told, lowering his gaze as if he was suddenly very shy, "I don't want to be with anybody else but you. At the moment the only future I'm able to fathom is with you." And then he lifted up his gaze again and the blue in his eyes had deepened into velvety cobalt.

"I feel the same way," Gaara whispered while his heart rate sped up. His stomach hurt but his pumping heart gave no shit, as the only thing it seemed to care about was the declaration of affection Naruto had performed.

Now the blond was smiling, it was that same confident, trusting smile he had seen on him so many times before. He loved that, he absolutely adored the cheery light Naruto shone all around the place, and into the depths of his heart and soul. It was a complete mystery to him how someone good like Naruto had ended up choosing him.

"Why me?" Gaara asked, finding it hard to believe that he had really made it to the top of the list somehow. Surely there were many others eagerly waiting for Naruto's attention to land on them?

A small grin made Naruto's lips curve up alluringly. In the moment his charming blue eyes met his, Gaara understood that those cobalt depths had no desire to look elsewhere.

"I like myself when I'm around you. You make me feel better about myself. And when I'm near you, I forget all about what life used to be at its worst. I hope I'm able to make you feel the same, too."

For an answer Gaara kissed him softly. He snuggled closer to the blond's chest and wondered how all of this had happened. His horizon was not murky like it used to be. There was now a lighthouse on the shore, rotating its tireless searchlight around the landscape, guiding him through the rocks into a safe hug of land.

And when seconds later Naruto burped in his ear, mumbling a half-hearted apology before scratching his swollen belly, Gaara couldn't help but smile a little. He closed his eyes, hoping his metabolism would quickly do its job and rid him of his aches. When a moment later Naruto's finger pushed at his belly button again, like it was a doorbell or a doomsday button, Gaara admitted that with Naruto around, everything felt goofier and more fun. He wouldn't trade this for anything in the world. As if reading his thoughts, Naruto sleepily ruffled his red hair and then pushed his nose like it, too, was yet another button.

* * *

 **A/N:** _Thank you for surviving through this, somehow. I try to make the next chapter WAY shorter XDDD_

 _And, in the next chapter I try to get more into Naruto's head!_


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